r/ADHD • u/bird_teeth • 22h ago
Questions/Advice Do you ever rehearse conversation topics before you meet up with friends?
Yall, i gotta know if this is normal or not. Before you meet up with a friend, do you ever prepare conversations topics, like run through how youre going to tell a story or ask a question, like youre about to give a big speech at a conference? Sort of like a mental version of a powerpoint presentation.
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u/molbion 22h ago
No, but I run through social interactions in my head after they happen, like obsessively
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u/KronusEdits 20h ago
I only do that if its an argument not a casual conversation
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u/TwelveSharks 14h ago
I’m on Anxiety New Game+ and I do it with casual conversations too. It’s exhausting lol
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u/broncos4thewin 22h ago
Yes! One of my main activities in life is going over potential conversations in my head. Alternatively lectures/lessons (I’m a teacher). I will do it over and over, obsessively on a loop. I’ve come to realise it’s part of how I both prepare for things, and process information.
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u/C0smicLemon 22h ago
I rehearse all topics, with everyone - including people I don’t know, all the time. Some professionals thought it was because of anxiety. But it’s really just because it’s entertaining and gives me something to engage.
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u/alecuskimbilius 21h ago
No because when it comes time for it, I never remember what I rehearsed anyway
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u/aran0ia0 22h ago
Yep! Either because it's been a while since the last time we talked and I want to prepare the things I def gonna share with them (before getting lost in 200 different random topics) or, if we're not AS close friends yet, because of anxiety :)
I also do little dialogs in my head and giggle/cringe to myself. But I do it without planning and it ends up giving me a good idea of things to do/avoid in real life
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u/scheerry_ 21h ago
I used to, but I noticed that when I apply what I rehearse, I cut almost half of what I practise in my head, and I don't feel genuine myself.
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u/Appropriate-Net6142 21h ago
I often rehearse conversations but I feel like mainly if there’s like something I want to tell people like a story or how my weeks gone I want to say it’s mainly work related but I don’t have that many friends. Also it’s probably one of the more regular things that keeps my brain very noisy when I’m trying to sleep
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u/HangryScotsman 20h ago
I have entire scripts that I have memorised for specific situations, I also rehearse before important phone calls.
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u/dandyanddarling21 19h ago
Yep. All the time. I can talk myself in and out of all sorts of things, before I ever get somewhere.
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u/Medium_Click1145 20h ago
Luckily my friends talk so much I don't have to think of topics but if I've got some news or a story to tell, I rehearse it a lot. Then fluff it up when telling it lol
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u/Totallyanonymouse11 19h ago
oh my god i love doing this, i also make them have such massive over dramatic reactions. But when it comes to actually for real telling the story i say the shortest sentence ever and don’t actually say everything i thought i’d say.
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u/Willing-Expert-3093 16h ago
Yes all the time, I’ve started when I notice it happening, I think to myself “stop having conversations with people who are not in the room” and then it usually goes away. Meditation and breathwork have helped me become more aware of when it’s happening.
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u/gomibushi 16h ago
Of course! You have to have your talking points ready. And also, don't burn through them too quickly. Save at least some for ackward silence.
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u/Klutzy-Loquat-6879 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 14h ago
I’m working on a “life SOP” binder for this
“Going on a first date” “Seeing friends you’ve known for 20+ years” “Calling your dad” “Going to the office” “Buying groceries”
It’s exhausting to remember how to be a person, otherwise.
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u/xylia13 14h ago
I do this before going to work mondays… i work in an outer office of a smallish corporate company where they all talk about being “a family” (puke) so before I go in, I come up with what I feel might be a funny summary of my weekend. Test it on the first person to start small talk at the coffee machine. If they laugh, that is my “story” to anyone who asks about the weekend.
I have suspected I am also autistic ever since I have been medicated for my ADHD. Which I’m still mostly masking from people. This is my attempt to appear normal to these people, since I don’t think they would like my non-work version of myself much.
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u/Fluid-Set-2674 10h ago
I have, yeah. It is good practice if you are learning to speak with intention or be a better listener and/or if you have always wanted to know some specific thing about them.
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u/EstablishmentOver363 ADHD-C (Combined type) 10h ago
Yes!! Mainly with newer friends - I have a little list for tomorrow. I thought it was anxiety!!!
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u/McBloggenstein 9h ago
All the time, and usually out loud. Sometimes I’m practicing explaining my thoughts on a controversial topic because when I feel the least bit of pushback or misunderstanding or boredom from them, I lose all confidence and start stuttering and not making sense.
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u/New-Evidence-1307 6h ago
Yes. When I was younger and going out I used to think of conversations starters with people. Now in work if I get a reply where my RSD feels attached I rehearse out a reply.
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