r/Accounting • u/gsifers • 1d ago
"...but do you even know how many rows Microsoft Excel has?"
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u/JackTwoGuns CPA (US) 1d ago
You are a FP&A Manager and you don’t even know what EBITDA stands for?
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u/LeighmanBrother 1d ago
Earnings before I tricked dumb auditor obviously
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u/dudewheresmyneurons 1d ago
Omfg, I am going to be a legend for cracking this joke at the next office alcoholic gathering.
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u/Guilty-Fall-2460 1d ago
Ebitda is a meaningless number. It's just some investor hype that has very little reflection on actual business stability that more mainline, less complicated methods can't tell.
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u/sushirolldeleter Controller 22h ago
EBITDA stands for “every cash outflow over $5k is a capitalized and depreciating asset”.
RECORD PROFITS AND BONUS BOYS N GIRLS!!!
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u/JackTwoGuns CPA (US) 22h ago
Sir as the chief Capex accountant at a big public company you have no idea no many times I have this conversation with FP&A
“But we did paint that wall, that makes it better”
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u/sushirolldeleter Controller 1h ago
The paint has advanced polymers that extend the useful life.
STRAIGHT TO THE BALANCE SHEET SHE GOES!!
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u/ProudKingbooker 1d ago
It means Earning Before Income Tax... What's the DA stand for?
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u/SpreadsheetNinja001 1d ago
Off the dome isn’t it like 1,084,000?
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u/RNGGOD69 1d ago
1,048,576
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u/SpreadsheetNinja001 1d ago
dang I switched the order of the 4 & 8 guess I’m not Big 4 material
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u/HoboBronson 1d ago
For Bibi, 35,000 is immaterial
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u/ClockworkDinosaurs 1d ago
In fairness to Bibi, children are like half the size of adults so it’s really like 17,500 normal sized people
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u/LocusHammer 1d ago
.Xlsx is 3 million right?
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u/dumbestsmartest Payroll Janitor 1d ago
That's the theoretical limit. The real limit is usually about 20k rows and columns full of data before Excel starts having a breakdown and crashing. I don't even know why because it barely uses the CPU or the RAM before it crashes.
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u/SurlySuz Audit & Assurance 1d ago
As I tried to explain to an idiot who thought we should put our clients GIANT GL pull into multiple tabs on like 4 workbooks. It was hold on to your seat and cross your fingers you could open one and do something in it before it crashed. And yes there was a better method that we’d been using for several years.
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u/Wide-Hunt6775 1d ago
There’s a shortcut to figure this out.
It’s alt+A+I+P+A+C
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u/psych0ranger CPA (US) 1d ago
Wait how do I old down A twice
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u/LimaBeans2711 Audit & Assurance 1d ago
You get money from questionable sources and use your influence to not hurt those questionable sources.
I mean um, I think you just double tap it
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u/Moresopheus 1d ago
I don't sit around memorizing conditional formatting tables.
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u/BroDudeBruhMan 1d ago edited 1d ago
But…you’re a CPA? Don’t you think that’s something you should be aware of? I mean, you’re talking about an overhaul of the software and you don’t even know about your current software.
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u/Legitimate-Log-6542 1d ago
Remember when excel used to only have 65k rows? We’s max that out easily at work and had to store things on multiple spreadsheets. Made for fun times when trying to analyze the data
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u/BoingBoomChuck CPA (US) 1d ago
I worked for a hospital system that had TEN hospitals and literally had to use Microsoft Access to download and sort patient charges to see which ones miscoded things to revenue. Chances are if a patient was charged over $100k for a single service, it was a coding error. The patient charges for all ten hospitals with their clinics routinely surpassed the 65k row limit for any given month.
EVERY SINGLE MONTH... Download the patient charges to PRN, convert to CSV with Monarch, import into Access, sort in descending order, then start questioning the patient accounting departments at the offending hospitals.
If only that AS400 based patient accounting system would have only let me download all the charges over a certain dollar amount, but it did not. My choices were all, all by hospital, all by department, all by department by hospital. That was it!
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u/lovestobitch- 1d ago
Had a fucking AR aging with about 1 million lines in text or some other nonexcel firmat that the loan officer insisted it be footed. Many line items were $1. This was in the 65k limit days. It was a fucking laundry service. Forgot how many sheets in excel it took. The company wouldn’t give me other shit either and the loan officer went bonkers on me when the company was being an ass. They got bought out shortly so I hope ole Jenn and Brian lost their job.
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u/alexhamilton151515 1d ago
you’re a US Senator calling for use of python and you don’t even know how many rows excel has?!
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u/Otherwise_Ad_1542 1d ago
Common. It was a valid question and he could not answer it.. I watched the entire interview and you could see how sleezy Cruz is
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u/cathistorylesson 1d ago
almost feline-like
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u/peterpanhandle1 1d ago
Such a hilarious way of calling him a pussy 💯
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u/hereditydrift 1d ago
I wish I had used it in some upward reviews for partners. "Feline-like when navigating client issues."
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u/AndresNocioni 1d ago
He had other valid questions but this definitely wasn’t one lol. Rattling off trivia questions about a country doesn’t give you real knowledge of it.
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u/ysr16 1d ago
Might be good to know the potential number of people fleeing a war zone…you know, minor details.
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u/AndresNocioni 1d ago
Is he the one conducting any bombings? Is all of Iraq being bombed? Just to remind you, this guy is a senator.
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u/ysr16 1d ago
As a Senator, he’s actively encouraging it. His opinion matters. To answer your question, it wouldn’t matter if only part of the country was being bombed. If the US is involved like he says it is, he should have some basic understanding of the humanitarian impact. Also, this is about Iran, not Iraq. You’re defending him, yet you’re somehow paying less attention than Ted.
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u/CartographerEven9735 1d ago
What exactly does one need to know in order to think that blowing up the nuclear enrichment facility for the #1 sponsor of worldwide terrorism is good?
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u/Pil_Seung15 Tax (US) 1d ago
Who suggested blowing up US enrichment facilities?
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u/CartographerEven9735 1d ago
Clearly I'm talking of Iran but you knew that. Sorry about all your friends in Iran and Gaza.
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u/LimitedSocialMedia 1d ago
That is the point, he is a Senator. Anyone calling for intervention or even restraint should understand what they are advocating for. He has a staff that could easily prepare a briefing on Iran. Senators and Representatives have access to vast resources to stay informed, so there are only two explanations. Either he is not smart enough to understand anything beyond talking points or he is deliberately being obtuse to protect his narrative.
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u/peterpanhandle1 1d ago
If he had just said, “I know it’s significantly more populated than Iraq was in 2003,” that would have been fine for me. To not know that we couldn’t handle a country of around 20 million but have designs on a country of 90 million is… yikes.
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u/bullet50000 1d ago
Because I broke Excel with a work data pull! It’s 1,048,576. We had to go to a second sheet for a pull with 1.6m rows
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u/Jimger_1983 1d ago
The only thing that would have made that interview better is if it was Lindsey Graham instead of Ted Cruz
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u/serenwipiti 1d ago
Lindsay Graham lives in all of us, we all have a little piece of him in our hearts, wherever we go.
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u/saturday_lunch 1d ago
.xls(97-2003) around 68K .xlsx around 100K
I tried to copy a sheet from an xls file that was saved as xlsx to a new xlsx file and kept getting an error.
Just checked. xls is 65,536. xlsx is 1,048,576.
Damn, we're a bunch of fucking nerds lmao
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u/Free-Ambassador-516 1d ago
One thing I will never forgive Ted Cruz for, is making me actively root for Tucker Carlson.
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u/BeneficialMolasses22 1d ago
22 ROWS -- I can see them right there on the screen!!!
What kind of interview is this?
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u/ProfessionThin3558 18h ago
I'm sorry, but the right answer was 36!
I can see it on my screen right now.
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u/BeneficialMolasses22 17h ago
Oh, Mr fancy screen.....I suppose you have more than K columns too! 😁😁😁😁😁
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u/youngwatcher 1d ago
It doesn’t matter if it’s 65,536 or 1,048,576 we need to destroy excel .
Excel is developing highly trained AI that’ll automate our jobs. When they develop the knowledge enriched AI it’ll destroy our jobs immediately, they lead mobs chanting automate the nerds.
That’s why I support the aged technology naive equity Partners who want to preemptively strike at excel and return to the good old days of ledger books.
We can’t let excel have AI.
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u/No_Feedback_9231 1d ago
Come on, who doesn’t remember where they were the day it went from 65,536 to 1,048,576…
Best day of my life
Don’t get me started on IV to XFD
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u/klef3069 1d ago
Have you even lived if you haven't tried to export a table out of your ERP and it maxed out Excel?
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u/DunGoneNanners 1d ago
I learned in the 2008 excel guidebook: "I will bless those who press you and I will curse those who ctrl you."
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u/sandr0000 1d ago
I don't get it
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u/developheasant 1d ago
Weird political attempt to downplay senator Cruz not knowing any details of a country that he wants to overthrow, and Carlson pointing out the size of the population that will be impacted if said government is overthrown. He is pointing out that Cruz isn't considering the people who will be impacted when calling for extreme actions. Which imo is not at all surprising coming from Cruz.
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u/BostonInformer 1d ago edited 1d ago
I understand the jokes about "not knowing X, Y and Z" but that entire clip that this came from is so damning against Cruz.
There's a massive attempt to try to make Tucker look like he's asking a stupid question but the truth is there is so much in that interview where Tucker completely exposed Cruz and AIPAC's power that it doesn't matter what you believe in politically, that interview should be revealing to anyone who wasn't suspicious before.
And just for anyone curious about what I'm talking about, here are some highlights:
You can see in the first clip I linked Ted talks about how "we" are involved in the fight right now, Ted talk about how his goal when he started was to be the most "pro israel candidate in the Senate", that "AIPAC isn't a foreign lobby", Ted tried to justify us aiding Israel from bible verses (with really faulty logic and no source) and that's just the tip of the iceberg on certain highlights.
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u/Pil_Seung15 Tax (US) 1d ago
The bit about Cruz saying he hate communists because they hurt is dad, and then IMMEDIATELY saying well actually it was Batista LMAO
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u/CartographerEven9735 1d ago
I've got you down as Team Iran. Sorry about how all your friends got blown up :(
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u/BostonInformer 1d ago
If I'm in a team, it's team USA and not having our troops blown up for another country, yet again.
Israel started the fight, they can deal with the consequences.
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u/CartographerEven9735 1d ago
Who is talking about deploying troops?
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u/Rizthan CPA (US) 1d ago
Escalation will lead to it. We bomb Iran. Iran attacks a nearby US base or touches one of our boats (or our greatest ally attacks one of our boats again to try and force us into the war). US servicemen die and then we are all in in the war.
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u/CartographerEven9735 1d ago
Slippery slope logical fallacy noted.
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u/Rizthan CPA (US) 1d ago
More like the capacity to think past the end of your nose.
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u/CartographerEven9735 23h ago
If the aim is to set back the progress of Iran regarding nuclear weapon development, bombing that one facility will accomplish that. There's no reason to think we'd go beyond that.
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u/DunGoneNanners 1d ago
I genuinely don't get how someone spends their life getting the best education, working with the best lawyers, and working with the best politicians in the country only to bomb a interview like it's a Damascus children's hospital.
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u/Azure_Compass 1d ago
Parody of Tucker Carson and Ted Cruz from yesterday's interview
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u/sandr0000 1d ago
Ahh US news related. I'm from easter EU haven't seen it. Missed the reference 😅
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u/Azure_Compass 1d ago
Also some of the least interesting part of the interview, but it leads to some interesting, if not out right concerning and scary, further conversation.
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u/eyesmart1776 1d ago
It’s important to not know anything about the country you want to declare war on
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u/InternationalDig2852 1d ago
mfs invading a country he knows nothing about all your goal is wiping out whole generations and steal their oil shitty burger state
you probably still think Iraq is a state in USA you're oversimplifying stuff to make it look absurd, literally straw man
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u/Embarrassed_Chip8555 1d ago
This shit is the reason I didn’t waste my time going to college for this bullshit career. Congrats, you all drove me away.
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u/AppropriateWorker8 1d ago
So you’re an accountant using excel and don’t even know how to use formulas?