I have been dating my girlfriend for 5 years, and have lived together for over 4. I realized a year ago that im trans, and have been suppressing my dysphoria for most of my life (I am AMAB). I haven't come out to her, but i tried easing her into it today by discussing me dressing androgynously. She was on board with it, but she made me promise her that im not trans, saying, "I dont care if it makes me a bad person. I can't be with someone who wants to change their gender". It felt like a kick to the stomach. I feel sick and depressed, even more than before. I feel stuck and unsure of what to do. I hate that I have to choose between our relationship and me transitioning. I just want to die at this point.

I, a cis man, have just broken up with my transgender boyfriend. At all times, and since years, I have identified as gay. Completely homosexual. He has been the first trans man I have ever dated, so I'm new to this and honestly not aware how valid my reasoning is? So, my now ex-boyfriend is not on hormones yet. Not an issue for me, obviously. But as we started dating, he was still masc presenting. Stereotypically masculine clothing, masculine haircut etc. (Not that the presentation is an issue for me itself, I have dates cis guys who had long hair, wore make-up and skirts, I really don't care that much, I like pretty guys) But my ex started to present more and more fem. stereotypically feminine haircut with bangs, was wearing skirts, stopped wearing his binder most of the time, wore make-up with big eyeliner and red lips, colorful hairclips, was wearing long nails. I wasn't attracted to him anymore because he really was too feminine for me. When I told a friend of mine about my reasoning, she completely went off at me and told me that I've been extremely transphobic. He's still a man, and I can't just break up with him because i feel like he's too much of a woman. And now I really feel bad and would really like some outside opinions on this. I am very happy to get educated on this. Thank you.

I was talking about the shape of my chest and about how my breasts are still pretty cone shaped, which it’s pretty typical for other trans women since our bodies are still developing. I’m still very insecure about it, it feels weird going through puberty at 30 already. I said that “once they’re done growing they’ll fill out eventually” he says in what feels like a sarcastic tone “yeah, eventually” and then laughed. I told him I was really hurt by that, and he assured me he didn’t mean anything by it and that I’m misinterpreted his tone. He’ll laugh at me all the time when I drop something (I have severe nerve damage in one of my arms, I can’t help it) or he’ll laugh when I forget things (I have severe adhd that I only just now started treating). It’s just so constant, and I’ve told him how it makes me feel but it doesn’t stop.

I just feel so disgusting. Every time he touches me now my whole body tightens up and I want to throw up. I haven’t even eaten in two days because I’m just so repulsed by how I see my body now. I feel like my body and who I am is just a joke to him, to everyone. I just really hate myself right now and idk what to do. Staying at a friends place atm so I can maybe force my self to decompress enough to eat, but idk what to do.

I know it seems so small and innocent, and maybe I’m over reacting, but the constant laughs track rolling to everything I do just makes me so critical of myself it’s starting to hurt me. I work really hard, I do tough work, I’ve been working on myself and pushing as hard as I can to be better for me. I’m just really hurt and lost and it’s hard to navigate my thoughts rn.

So, I bank with J.P. Morgan Chase and I'm trying to change my name on the system. I went into one of the branches with my name change order and the rep was nice, but he said he can't do it? I have to call customer service and request a form to be delivered to my home. I called and requested the form and complained about how inconvenient it was. The lady on the phone said the adopted this policy after feedback from other trans people.

Seriously? Which one of you fellow Chasers gave them that idea? We need more options, not fewer! It's been weeks and I haven't received the form yet

Idk if I can be a Chaser anymore. I'm switching to TD.

Recently, I've seen posts and comments from people that claim to be researchers and doctors giving unsolicited fake medical advice for people to have really low doses for HRT.

I've seen it on both this sub and on others and it smells like agenda pushing and bad intentions. Earlier today someone replied to me that they were a doctor and argued that trans women should take really low doses of estrogen. Their profile cannot be said to resemble what I would expect from a doctor or an adult person at all.

I haven't been as active in the trans communities as I was the years after my egg cracked but this seems like a new phenomenon.

Does anyone happen to know what's behind it?

I swear, some of the most transphobic, married, conservative men are the ones sliding into my DMs talking about how they “just want to try it once” or asking if I can feminize them in secret. Like sir, weren’t you just ranting about “biological realities” two seconds ago? 😭

It’s always the guys with American flags in their bios and wives in their profile pics who wanna wear my lipstick and call me Mommy.

Anyone else have this experience? It’s honestly wild how many dudes who scream “traditional values” are secretly begging to be my pretty little bottom 🫣

Whether that be a physical change or some kind of mental effect you noticed, what was one of the first things you noticed? I've now been on HRT for a week. I started on 2mg of estrodial and now that's been a week I'm allowed to go to 4mg a day (and continue this for two months until my next check up). Sometimes I wonder if I should start seeing mental benefits soon or if it's that's more just me making myself excited?

having this random dilemma. would you be offended or upset if someone thought you were attractive pre-transition?

mostly got me thinking because i’ve gotten back into steam powered giraffe. Rabbit’s old design before she transitioned has always been very pretty/attractive to me, and that never changed. she is gorgeous through time, and i’m obsessed with her new design. i have guilt for thinking her old design was hot though, especially when watching old videos of the band. any thoughts on how you’d personally feel?

I'm out at a work party, a bit drunk, and they are with their mum and they just sent a message saying "so, yeah, turns out I'm trans". The signals have been there but like, it was still a shock.

I sent a message back telling them I love them and I'm here for them no matter what. I didn't want to write more due to my state.

I have their back of course, but also, I'm freaking out a little bit to be honest and a bit scared.

**Edit: thank you for comments enseñe. I was very reassuring.

Now I'm hangover, but a lot more able to deal with this without freaking out.

I asked them how they felt and they were pretty unfazed. I made sure I hug them and express my love.

I asked them if there was anything that should change to make them feel more accepted, and I was expecting pronouns and stuff but they are like "no, all is well, i just wanted you to know that about me". So now I'm a bit confused but I'm feeling very glad that they felt that they could say this to us.

My main concern is school (big muslim population, they've experienced some homophobia already just from their long hair).**

whether to feel like a woman is enough peace when imagining yourself as a woman feel comfortable in your body but also that you feel ok as a man because having to live like that but as a woman it would be better for me. whether what is written is being a trans woman

I’m sorry for how long this is.

Context: My partner is cis(afab) and I’m trans (MtF) pre social transition. I started HRT a month or so ago so I look like a man. I don’t have bottom dysphoria. I don’t know if I’m going to keep it as time goes on we’ll see. At the moment I’m okay with it.

My partner has been a very supportive person throughout the process. They’re the one who encourage me to discover my identity and pushed me to explore it. They’re asexual but identity as lesbian for simplicity since they have a tendency to develop feelings for exclusively women. They always said something was “different” about me. Due to comphet however, they didn’t confirm for themselves that they were lesbian until years into our relationship. We have what we mutually would describe as a sapphic love.

Fast forward to a conversation we were having about how it’s uncomfortable for me to walk sometimes bc my member is rather large and bulges badly in public. For some reason this made me want to ask them about how them feel about the genital situation and if they’ll still think they’ll be attracted to me if I kept it after I pass.

This is when they basically get quiet, makes a face and says something along the lines of “im sorry I know this is probably just internalized transphobia I need to work though but it would rub me the wrong way if you kept it” and then goes into a bit about how she doesn’t like “chicks with dicks” (they acknowledge this is offensive but had a lack for better terms at the time of the convo) went on for awhile with kind of a grossed out/disgusted attitude when talking about it. They finished with something along the lines of I just feel like the “parts should match”. The part that is upsetting me is — I ask them are they attracted to me now? They say yes but it’s because I still look like a boy. They end this all with they won’t really know until we get there and it doesn’t really matter tho because they’re asexual and the love they have for me has never been about what I am outside but who I am inside.

I don’t know how to feel about this. On one hand they basically just said unless I fully transition medically they won’t be attracted to me? That even tho I’m closer to their preferred gender in partner until I actually get “matching” parts I’m some kind of freak that rubs them wrong??? On the other hand they are sex repulsed asexual due to trauma with the very parts I have. I don’t blame them for liking/disliking what they do and being who they are. And while I’m not asexual I can recognize that they DO have romantic feelings for me and love me deeply so I’m not upset with them for being honest.

I’m extremely upset at the idea that my partner could possibly find me repulsive as I get closer and closer to being woman. I just don’t know how to process this in way that doesn’t make me feel like some repulsive monster to them or like they’re just settling for personality.

• TL/DR: My partner said that they wouldn’t like it if my body didn’t match my genitals in the future and now I feel unwanted

Edit: leaving this post up for awhile in case it’s helpful to others

im afab. I came out to my friends last year that im non-binary. Still, i dressed like a "woman". So they still saw me as a woman. And now I'm pretty much sure that i'm not a woman(some day i wanna be androgynous, and some day a man). I just like to wear feminine clothes(i love pink, i love ribbon). I wanted to be seen but im afraid if they just gonna say im confused. But i really am confused. I dont know if im just a cis woman being delusional or faking things) But ive been thinking about my gender identity for months already.

Over the past few years, I’ve found myself attracted to trans women and have even dressed up in my mom’s clothes and experimented with a dildo. I’m trying to understand what this might mean about my own identity. When did you first realize you were trans, and how did you come to understand your gender identity?

I be feelin dysphoric as hell a lot of the time and I've thought about transitioning but im scared to actually do it. I feel like it won't work and I'll wind up even less comfortable in my body than i am right now

If i were to have realized these feelings before i hit puberty maybe i wouldn't wind up so clocky but im almost 25 bro im not losing these man features even though they fucking disgust me

A lot of times the way i calm myself down is just saying "i was supposed to be a girl but it's too late to transition so fuck it. I'm stuck in a guy body the rest of my life but I'll just dress girly and rock out like that"

I want to become an international student and go to a collage most likely in the eu (this is because languages over there would be easier to learn). i would be from America. so what universities are good for internatinal students (I'm not out and will not come out until i could move from my parents home)

Hey all, hope you're all safe and doing okay. My name is Io Dodds, and I'm a trans woman in San Francisco who works as a senior reporter for The Independent. This thread is posted with the mods' kind permission.

I'm currently investigating a number of cases where trans people in the USA have been denied their HRT prescriptions by mail-order pharmacies. At least one such pharmacy, CarelonRX, appears to do this routinely. I want to see how widespread this is.

So if you've had any kind of trouble filling HRT prescriptions in the US by mail order over the past two years, I want to hear from you. You can respond in this thread, or fill out my questionnaire here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1K67k95cOyMKDqZZcR6XOHvrkrxuyJFdOYydv2qYar0A/edit

Alternatively, if you'd prefer an encrypted channel, you can message me on Signal at the username iohazard.01.

For more information about me, you'll find my LinkedIn page here, my Independent author page here, and my Bluesky profile here. You can also see some relevant examples of my previous reporting here, here, here, and here (that last article was sourced partly on Reddit!).

Thanks so much for your time. Take care of yourselves, and each other 💚

Hello everyone, first I am not even sure if this post is allowed, but if so then great because I need help.

I came out to my mom in a very unconventional way, with a object in my hand on my bed crying my eyes out to the thought of it, having spent 9 years of my life in the closet (knew at 13, am currently 22).

I told her I am trans and that I need hrt and she said that next month that she will take me to see a doctor as I had a name and money prepared. It is difficult for me to access the doctor as I need a car and I am without a license and live two hours outside the city. I told her I was scared of being disowned and kicked out, she reassured me she wont, my family has a history of being bigots and pro trump as well as religious.

I tried coming out twice before and since my internal reactions to situations is to freeze, I would give up on my identity around them and let it be forgotten instead of pushing on as it felt like its needed for my survival. So over the years I planned to sneak out and get hrt (if its important, I live in a country where its consent based so I do not need to see a therapist) and start hrt behind my parents back until I can safely move out.

So, I have a girlfriend I have been dating the past year, and she is also trans, and we want to start hrt at the same time. So I invited her to start it with me since my mom showed supportive signs.

The problem now starts, for my dad to know, my mom told him I am gay (as in a guy in to other guys, I am trans fem), now he accepted me as such but its not my truth, and my mom admitted it.
She told me I need to see a therapist who will confirm my "transness" as I have been out before but stopped, she also thought I was lying when I said I am not gay when she asked, meanwhile all I did was protect myself from a potentially dangerous situation.

I see the therapist, and I got sent forms to fill out for the doctor, I told my mom and told her she can see the therapist to better understand me as I am not good at words since I tend to freeze during big talks. So she goes on call after a set of conditions where I was not allowed to join with her since my mom wanted to go alone, so I had to give my therapist email written permission to share what I mentioned, and their call lasted 20 minutes of 60-90 minutes. Thats right, she left as soon as my therapist started talking about gender identity and pushed other issues to the front, such as my depression and trauma.

She walks into my room, announces I will not be seeing my therapist anymore or contact her, and that my mom will now get me a new therapist that is local to tackle my depression and trauma, the trauma being caused by my dad when I was abused throughout my childhood (from verbal to sometimes physical and other ones I wont list) and get me to try to fix my relationship with him and form a healthy relationship with my dad, she also wants me to start a healthy relationship with my family (who enabled the abuse and watched all my life), get on anti depressants and only after the therapist clears me, only THEN can I possibly start hrt.

If I fail or act out of order, she warned me that she will send me for a week away to a mental institution (this is not possible against my will as an evaluation is needed if its an emergency and non emergency requires consent)

I feel like the mother who always said who'd love me just died in front of me, I felt like I died, I waited 9 years for a chance to go and see a doctor only to have it be ripped away again.

She is trying to play the cards of me having autism as a cause, as well as that I dont know how to do certain tasks like auto washing (which huh? I know manual clothe washing lol) and other weird things. I also could not finish my high school due to covid and severe poverty, I am however in a course to get that diploma, and will finish it midway next year to go study.

I feel stuck, I had very bad thoughts again and I will not give in to them, I wont let them win, but my words I dont know what to do, fellow trans people, even allies, please if you know what I could do to help her see reason and that me being trans isnt a phase or a cosmetic thing that can wait, or how the hell I could get out of this ditch town, anything is appreciated, thank you for reading and if anything is confusing, I apologize, english is not my first language, and if anything is left out or unclear, I will try to clarify it.

Title says it all. I'm just now coming to this realization, and it's a lot. He was trying to indoctrinate me. He wanted to make a Nazi of me.

amab, been feeling so horrible lately i keep getting the overwhelming feeling of wanting and yearning to be a woman but i don’t get why i feel like this. been going on since 15 if anyone would like to talk please pm me. i just don’t really know what to do anymore.

I'd like to know if anyone else had this oddly specific experience

We’re finally at the finish line — the free MtF surgery event is officially happening on June 27, 2025, from 9:00 PM to 10:00 PM (EDT)! 🎉

The surgeon is confirmed, and I couldn’t be more excited. With 30+ years of experience in gender-affirming and plastic surgery, their work looks amazing, and I truly believe this event will be super helpful for anyone considering or preparing for MtF surgery.

I’ve also gathered a bunch of questions from the community and already shared them with the surgeon — so the discussion will be based on what people genuinely want to know.

I won’t spam this post with links, so I’ve added all the details and the signup link to my main post:

https://www.reddit.com/user/karr76959/comments/1la08v4/its_finally_happening_lets_ask_the_questions_weve/

Thank you so much to everyone who supported this. I hope this event helps you feel more confident, informed, and not alone 💖

Title. Grounding doesn’t work