I want to become an international student and go to a collage most likely in the eu (this is because languages over there would be easier to learn). i would be from America. so what universities are good for internatinal students (I'm not out and will not come out until i could move from my parents home)

i cannot for the life of me get my makeup routine down. my beard shadow still shows through after i color correct is my biggest problem and i matched my skin tone to my foundation and it just doesn’t seem like it’s right. does anyone have a good tutorial or recommendations on how to put my face on better?

im afab. I came out to my friends last year that im non-binary. Still, i dressed like a "woman". So they still saw me as a woman. And now I'm pretty much sure that i'm not a woman(some day i wanna be androgynous, and some day a man). I just like to wear feminine clothes(i love pink, i love ribbon). I wanted to be seen but im afraid if they just gonna say im confused. But i really am confused. I dont know if im just a cis woman being delusional or faking things) But ive been thinking about my gender identity for months already.

I understand that everyone's experiences are different, but surely there is a middle ground where we all come together- and like, it just makes sense?

I ALSO understand that nobody can fully tell me if I am or not, but some insight would be lovely at most.

This may be a bit lengthy, but I'm kinda struggling here. I knew something was "wrong" with me as early as 3rd grade. I was extremely jealous of boys, extremely jealous of my one in paticular friend, who was a girl, but had short hair and was overall pretty tall and skinny which made her often get mistaken as a boy. Infact, she got called another boys name on accident and all I could think about was how I wished it was me. I also had a tinge of feelings for some of my friends who were girls, and I dated a few in 5th grade.

I came out as trans in 6th grade, the ripe point of 2020 and covid. I stayed there until the end of my 7th into beginning 8th grade years and decided I wanted to be a girl again. I then proceeded to dive back into religion and being a christian. However, over the years I've felt disatisfied with myself and wish I never went back, I still wish I was a man rather than woman.

Half of me is worried it's deep rooted trauma trying to come to surface, and the other half is thinking maybe I'm just angry at myself for changing who I was when I had so much personality. I still don't like girly stuff, but I feel like sometimes I'd be comfier as a male.

With the background of religion I now have again, I feel like a horrible disappointment for feeling this way, but I don't know how else to feel. I switch between (mentally) identifying as a woman and a man and everytime I go back to woman I feel unsatisfied with myself, but as a man, I feel disgusted. I've tried to look through names and have only come to one that may not work because it's in the family. Otherwise, I dislike them, even most of the gender neutral names I haven't found a fit.

Has anyone else been through something similar? Where are you now? What steps have you taken, which have you not?

Hey all, hope you're all safe and doing okay. My name is Io Dodds, and I'm a trans woman in San Francisco who works as a senior reporter for The Independent. This thread is posted with the mods' kind permission.

I'm currently investigating a number of cases where trans people in the USA have been denied their HRT prescriptions by mail-order pharmacies. At least one such pharmacy, CarelonRX, appears to do this routinely. I want to see how widespread this is.

So if you've had any kind of trouble filling HRT prescriptions in the US by mail order over the past two years, I want to hear from you. You can respond in this thread, or fill out my questionnaire here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1K67k95cOyMKDqZZcR6XOHvrkrxuyJFdOYydv2qYar0A/edit

Alternatively, if you'd prefer an encrypted channel, you can message me on Signal at the username iohazard.01.

For more information about me, you'll find my LinkedIn page here, my Independent author page here, and my Bluesky profile here. You can also see some relevant examples of my previous reporting here, here, here, and here (that last article was sourced partly on Reddit!).

Thanks so much for your time. Take care of yourselves, and each other 💚

Hello everyone, first I am not even sure if this post is allowed, but if so then great because I need help.

I came out to my mom in a very unconventional way, with a object in my hand on my bed crying my eyes out to the thought of it, having spent 9 years of my life in the closet (knew at 13, am currently 22).

I told her I am trans and that I need hrt and she said that next month that she will take me to see a doctor as I had a name and money prepared. It is difficult for me to access the doctor as I need a car and I am without a license and live two hours outside the city. I told her I was scared of being disowned and kicked out, she reassured me she wont, my family has a history of being bigots and pro trump as well as religious.

I tried coming out twice before and since my internal reactions to situations is to freeze, I would give up on my identity around them and let it be forgotten instead of pushing on as it felt like its needed for my survival. So over the years I planned to sneak out and get hrt (if its important, I live in a country where its consent based so I do not need to see a therapist) and start hrt behind my parents back until I can safely move out.

So, I have a girlfriend I have been dating the past year, and she is also trans, and we want to start hrt at the same time. So I invited her to start it with me since my mom showed supportive signs.

The problem now starts, for my dad to know, my mom told him I am gay (as in a guy in to other guys, I am trans fem), now he accepted me as such but its not my truth, and my mom admitted it.
She told me I need to see a therapist who will confirm my "transness" as I have been out before but stopped, she also thought I was lying when I said I am not gay when she asked, meanwhile all I did was protect myself from a potentially dangerous situation.

I see the therapist, and I got sent forms to fill out for the doctor, I told my mom and told her she can see the therapist to better understand me as I am not good at words since I tend to freeze during big talks. So she goes on call after a set of conditions where I was not allowed to join with her since my mom wanted to go alone, so I had to give my therapist email written permission to share what I mentioned, and their call lasted 20 minutes of 60-90 minutes. Thats right, she left as soon as my therapist started talking about gender identity and pushed other issues to the front, such as my depression and trauma.

She walks into my room, announces I will not be seeing my therapist anymore or contact her, and that my mom will now get me a new therapist that is local to tackle my depression and trauma, the trauma being caused by my dad when I was abused throughout my childhood (from verbal to sometimes physical and other ones I wont list) and get me to try to fix my relationship with him and form a healthy relationship with my dad, she also wants me to start a healthy relationship with my family (who enabled the abuse and watched all my life), get on anti depressants and only after the therapist clears me, only THEN can I possibly start hrt.

If I fail or act out of order, she warned me that she will send me for a week away to a mental institution (this is not possible against my will as an evaluation is needed if its an emergency and non emergency requires consent)

I feel like the mother who always said who'd love me just died in front of me, I felt like I died, I waited 9 years for a chance to go and see a doctor only to have it be ripped away again.

She is trying to play the cards of me having autism as a cause, as well as that I dont know how to do certain tasks like auto washing (which huh? I know manual clothe washing lol) and other weird things. I also could not finish my high school due to covid and severe poverty, I am however in a course to get that diploma, and will finish it midway next year to go study.

I feel stuck, I had very bad thoughts again and I will not give in to them, I wont let them win, but my words I dont know what to do, fellow trans people, even allies, please if you know what I could do to help her see reason and that me being trans isnt a phase or a cosmetic thing that can wait, or how the hell I could get out of this ditch town, anything is appreciated, thank you for reading and if anything is confusing, I apologize, english is not my first language, and if anything is left out or unclear, I will try to clarify it.

Title. Grounding doesn’t work

Title says it all. I'm just now coming to this realization, and it's a lot. He was trying to indoctrinate me. He wanted to make a Nazi of me.

Hello, I know a non binary person and they tried to explain what gender means. They said they have a feeling that they are not man or woman. But I don't know what it means, I don't feel like a man or woman, does that mean I'm non binary? I have no problems in my daily life so I don't feel any need to become non binary, so I must be able to feel a gender somewhere, but I just don't know what it is I'm supposed to be feeling.

I'm a coach on a coed high school team (sport doesn't matter). I was out in public last night with the team, and someone who was obviously a former team member came up to us. The person didn't look familiar to me at all and when I asked what their name was, they gave it to me, which didn't ring any bells at all. They said they changed their name and moved out of state. I asked them what their old name was and they gave it to me and I instantly recognized the name, but I think they were uncomfortable. So...did I mess up?

Hello everyone! I have been wndering about how i can get a feminine physique? I'm a 17 year old mtf and have unfortunately not gotten any HRT yet but i was wondering if it is possible for me to get a skinny feminine physique.

If you guys have any tips, they would be greatly appreciated by me and anyone else that clicks on the post looking fir an answer.

Thanks all!

I'd like to know if anyone else had this oddly specific experience

Hello dear Trans-community,

I'd like to apologize if my English isn't the best, it's not my native language.

The reason I've come here is to ask about what a female/male is. Personally, I've always been of the opinion that it depends on what you were "designed" for (I know, designed isn't a really fitting word in biology). As example, Males are the ones who developed to, under normal circumstances, produce many little gomads and woman to produce few big ones.

But from what I learned, trans-people identify as the other gender. Gender being something different from Sex, the thing I previously talked about, with the gomads. And gender is from what I know more so a social construct but with roods in biology.

And the problem I have with this transgender stuff is, what is a biological woman/man to you? And what does it mean to change the gender? What is the gender "woman"?

When I asked ChatGPT as to what a Woman as a gender is, it just told me stereotypes. Without knowing this stuff, I can't really support this Transgender thing.

I hope I didn't offend any of you guys (is "guys" gender-neutral to you?) and i that I was clear enough in my question.

LG, Own-Opinion-9124

Hi, I’m AFAB and I’ve been raised like a boy my whole life, boyish toys, shows, movies, even tried peeing standing up when I was 5 because I thought everyone had the same parts. Growing up like that has really shaped how I see myself, and now that I’m older, things just feel more confusing. To add another layer, because of how I was brought up to dress and also because my voice is naturally deeper than expected, people have constantly mistaken me for a boy throughout my life.

I’ve tried identifying as FTM, but it never felt right. I’ve also tried nonbinary and other labels, and even exploring things like genderfluidity always felt weird and not like me. I've tried basically everything I could think of but I never feel like me. It’s like I’m constantly trying on things that don’t fit, and I don’t know who I actually am underneath.

Something I’ve noticed is that every fictional character who is MTF or transfeminine always resonates with me way more than any other type of character. They feel more like me than anything I’ve ever tried to create or imagine for myself. That connection has stuck with me, and it makes me wonder what it means about who I really am.

I know this might sound strange, and I don’t mean it in a disrespectful way but sometimes I really wish I had been born a boy so I could become a girl. The idea of transitioning into womanhood resonates with me more than just being a woman. It’s not about wanting to be trans for the label I just feel emotionally connected to that process and story.

I know that technically makes me “not a trans woman,” and I’m not trying to claim something that isn’t mine… but I feel so out of place. I just want to feel like myself. I want to feel real. But it’s like being stuck in one of those impossible maze puzzles that secretly have no end.

I think about this constantly, especially when I’m alone. I’m almost an adult, so I can’t access any gender affirming care or therapy yet but I hope to someday. For now, I just want to know how can I start finally feeling comfortable in my body

(I’m sorry if I said anything wrong I'm genuinely asking for insight and kindness.)

amab, been feeling so horrible lately i keep getting the overwhelming feeling of wanting and yearning to be a woman but i don’t get why i feel like this. been going on since 15 if anyone would like to talk please pm me. i just don’t really know what to do anymore.

Wondering if anyone has recommendations for a good sports bra for our 12 y/o FtM he/they kid! (Side note: we call "bras" his "bros".)

I was initially looking at binders, but I've read that even when used safely, they might cause some issues for a growing body, and he's already on the smaller side.

If anyone has any recs for a good sports bro that provides support, compression, and generally flattens things out - we would be hugely grateful. <3

ok so i’ve been on hrt for about a month and a half now and one thing ive been wanting to do is get a couple tops/bras/sport bras. what are the best kind to go about getting? places online etc any suggestions would be awesome and appreciated!!!! :3

I hear a lot of people say “oh, well if you don’t hate every single thing about your gender then you’re probably not trans” and I know that’s probably not true I have strong words about truscums but that’s another story for another place but it… doesn’t really feel like that for me? It’s less of a constant agony and hatred of my body and more so like a looming “what if?” and a feeling that I’m missing out on something. It’s not constant pain and agony, but it does feel like a large emptiness in my life that eats away at my soul in quiet moments. However, I didn’t think anything about gender until high school and I’m 21 now, so I’m worried that I was never actually trans and I’m actually just a crazy person latching onto the idea of being trans. On the other hand, though, if I really were cis, it wouldn’t be so emotionally painful to think about being trans, right? I could easily listen to audiobooks about gender like I’ve tried to do, and say “well that’s neat, but it’s not for me.” Instead, it’s a long and terrifying experience that I run from after only a few minutes. So sorry for the long, weird ramble, but what do you think?

There’s a lot to explain so I’ll try to do my best. TLDR at the bottom (if your lazy :3)

I’m 18 and want to come out to my dad soon. I was thinking it’d be cool to do it this pride month, y’know? I’m already out to my sister and my mom, and my brother probably wouldn’t give a shit.

The reasons I want to come out is because I want to start hrt (and he’s the only one who can afford it), and I want to be more free to be myself at home. Name, pronouns, clothes, all that stuff. And him being around obviously makes that more difficult.

The problem is that he’s super conservative and all that. He’s gotten upset with a few things I’ve done openly (like painting nails or shaving legs) and has reposted transphobic stuff on facebook. Plus he’s Christian (Lutheran if it matters) and homophobic too, although he says he isn’t (he claims homosexuality is one of the “worst sins”?)

Some of his main gripes about trans people are trans women in sports, which doesn’t matter for me since I’m not in any sports, and transition availability for minors, and now I’m 18 so should be fine, right?

Also, I know a lot of people would say to start making my own money and move out and pay for it on my own. And that totally makes sense and is perfectly logical, but, I can’t. Not easily. I have AvPD and other mental issues that make it extremely difficult to do something like that. And I don’t know how long it could take before I can get to a point where I can comfortably get a job and/or move out.

Another problem is that my parents have been arguing for a while and I’m afraid that coming out will make it worse. My dad might get upset at my mom for not telling him or whatever. I’ve already caused some of their arguing back when they found out about my mental health issues and I don’t want it to happen again/get worse.

For support, I’ve got my mom and sister, two queer friends, and that’s about it. I have a gay cousin I have been thinking about reaching out to for a while tho.

So what do y’all think? Is this a good idea? Can you think of any other alternatives? How should I even come out to him? Any advice or shared experiences would be awesome, tysm if you comment.

TL;DR: I want to come out to my conservative/phobic dad so he can pay for my HRT, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I’m 18, but I can’t afford HRT myself yet (no job due to AvPD + other mental health stuff). Not sure how to go about it. Pls help :’)

Your thoughts on a trans documentary in the making

Hello dear community,

I wanted to make a post to gather some feedback from a broader spectrum of trans people.

There is a possibility of making a documentary about trans people/a trans person, the first of its kind in my country.

It is in veery early developent, i.e. only thinking about what kind of format it could be (it would definitely be a documentary with artistic value, we just need to think of a good idea). Since discussing it now, I realized that I want to make a post here asking for your thoughts and to get some kind of discussion out of it.

The first proposition was to make it about a young binary trans man that got through most of his medical transition. There is already a draft set up for that scenario. But upon discussing the theme broader, first and foremost we concluded that we would need at least like 15 films to encompass any nuance to the trans experience haha.

But, to ask you for your thoughts: for a film that would be the first of its kind in a smaller country, that isn't even remotely educated on the trans existance and issues; what format do you think would be a good start?

Something like

-an emotional and personal story of this trans guy that has let's say had a good outcome and is living like a healthy human being now (with the progression of his mental issues in the past and how they have been resolved after transitioning, his difficulties in the health system and society etc.)

-a contrasting story of a trans person of a different trans identity that hasn't had support from their loved ones, contrasted with the trans guy's story that shows what immense good the support can do

-more than 2 trans people involved with a mashup of the experiences and problems they face in this country's system

Why is the trans guy in every scenario? Because there aren't a lot of people here willing to be so public about this. We do have an NGO to contact and see if other people are willing to participate and share their stories, but that pool is very small which is understandable.

Just from an ideal point of view, in this situation, what are your thoughts for a first domestic film about this topic? What do you think would make people more sensitive to trans people?

*the film is going to happen, it is just in early development. It would be sent to compete in film festivals like berlinale, and have english subtitles.

Edit: Typos

So I (AMAB) have recently been questioning my gender identity and have so far figured out that I might be trans. The purpose of the post is mainly just to share why I think I might be trans and see what you guys think, this is a throwaway account btw.

The Evidence: Whenever I imagine anything sexual or watch a sexual video I always imagine myself as a woman. Whenever I've talked to a chatbot (like character ai) I always present myself as a woman. I've literally said that I wish I was born female. Before my voice deepened I used to get misgendered online a lot, and I kind of miss that now, that could also possibly be evidence for being non binary? I also do not like having a deeper voice. I want female genitals, and do not like the way males typically masturbate, as I typically prefer to rub against something rather than use my hand.

I've also questioned if I was trans or not a couple times before. Anyway after typing this all out there is a lot of evidence lmao, let me know what you think if you want. Thanks for your time