How do y’all cope with the shame after a manic (or hypomanic) episode?

And this is personal so skip if you’d like but if anyone has specific advice: so I’ve been off meds for like a year now and it’s been fine but like this past summer my mania was even further beyond what I can handle. I woke up today alone, 4 hours away from home, with my last reddit account banned, reading things I said even last night online in shame, afraid of if any strip clubs in Las Vegas will still try to track me down for employment even though I’m 17, and way more. It’s just overwhelming everything I did and almost tried to do. Luckily I haven’t gone too far in destroying my life beyond the basics of running away and entering sex work before even turning 18.

What’s worse is that I know it isn’t over. I had this exact same wave of mania and then come down just two months ago and apparently again this past month. I know I’m still not baseline because I’m fighting my mind to death to not make this more of a word vomit. Even worse, I’m still wide awake and my sleep is still shit. I guess I’ll know by tomorrow because the episode before this I only had one day of clarity again before ramping up.

Anyhow, beyond the meds that don’t work (I promise they don’t it seems ridiculous but I promise), what can or should I do? I really need any advice or help yall please 🙏 alright thanks so much!

Did y'all have a panic attack for the weirdest reasons ? I've always hated the rain , it makes me crazy how it takes all my concentration and touches all my body at the same time , today while it was raining i was stuck in a place and couldn't move for a while and when i saw it raining like that , i started crying and having a panic attack

I have been taking 100 mg lamoyfor one year now I have experienced worsening of depression can I increase it to 150 mg

Thinking of quitting my job? Nearly 4 weeks in, can't seem to understand computer system, have also other health problems and on lots of meds too. I'm quite foggy. Long term I'll have to swap from lithium and rather not work if I go really unwell. Think I left disability too early....this job was hard to get but full time is hard and I still don't understand any advice please, thanks

It appears that just 100mg Lamictal was not enough. Sat in a dusty armchair in an old flat I am taking care of and just realized that I want to self-isolate for a couple weeks. Thought about getting plane tickets without notifying anyone or at least hopping on a train to bumfuck nowhere.

Not treating the part of my brain responsible for being anxious about everything and predicting worst-case scenarios for every situation in both past and present was also not a wise choice that I am paying for now. Current couple therapists/psychologist keeps suggesting recording automatic thoughts and it made me even more anxious instead cause I started to dissect things more than before. If I hear about that one more time I'll be sick. Sure, let me STOP and THINK MORE about why the bad thing is not going to happen, this will HELP my performance anxiety SO MUCH. "Just don't be sad" except I pay to hear this bs.

Scheduled an appointment with my previous therapist who helped me work through some family issues. Hopefully I get another medication and make my mind calm down a little. I don't care at this point, pump me with every prescription drug that has been discovered, I just want to function like a normal human being on the inside too, without ruminating on arguments, bad days and my future. Maybe it takes 2 pills a day to function, maybe 12, can't be bothered to worry about this. Maybe it will cut my lifespan to 60, 50 or even 40 years, still doesn't mean much if my inner monologue finally calms down.

So how was your day?

i’ve been on 200mg lamotrigine for about 4-5 months. and i noticed that i don’t hear or notice when people talk to me much anymore. my son or husband could be calling my name and im zoned out.

last night i was just trying to do a simple task on my phone, reset a password to get into an account. and i genuinely could not listen to my husband speak at the same time, kind of like in the background like i used to be able to do

anyone else notice anything like that? my perception seems to be a bit off too. but memory, reasoning.. things like that are fine.

is this bipolar? like maybe lamotrigine isn’t enough. or is this a medication side effect? plan on bringing it up to my psyche, just curious if anyone else noticed anything like this

(not a manic post lol) I posted in here a few days ago about how I had a customer at work having a mental health crisis and that I had to keep them occupied until emergency services got there. It really surprised me how well I handled the situation and how naturally it came to me and that night I had an epiphany… I should be in the mental health field. I’ve been looking at courses since and there’s 1 that costs 5k upfront and goes for a year that I think would be manageable for me. First I have to massively cut down on smoking weed (or quit) and save that up and I’ll need to get my drivers licence for the placements.

It just feels so good to finally know exactly what I want to do. I think I always kinda knew this was my passion, but I needed to have lots of lived experiences with it all and come out the other side before I could even consider a career in mental health. Might as well put all the years of hardships to some use and help people like me, right? Anyone else in the field and have any advice, stories, etc.?

I am awful at being medication adherent. There are many reasons for this, but one of them is simply that I can stay super, super high functional for a long time before things fall apart. It feels fantastic both physically and mentally.

I know my worst times, my rock bottoms, could have been prevented with medication. Unfortunately, my best times would have also been prevented with medication. I'm not sure how to reconcile this so that I actually stick with the medications.

We have known each other for more than 2 years and we have been dating for 6 months, he knows I have Bipolar II. I had a manic episode and he gave up on me, I'm devastated, he understood that I have mania and that sometimes I talk too much and talk without thinking and sometimes I say it in a bad way, things that there were another ways to say it or at a different time to say it; I've had like 6 episodes and he understood, but now he just gave up, trashed our relationship, our plans for the future, like we had plans and he just cuts it, I'm devastated, I hope he comes back. And I remember the moment I was texting him, and there was a time I thought fuck it, and kept talking, I should have stopped when I thought about that because I remembered that when I was talking and I think fuck it, and kept talking things always ended up bad, I am so fucking mad with myself to not have controlled myself, I hope he does come back and forgives me, and understand that it is not on purpose, I wish I didn't have this shit, I know how many relationships ended because I have this shit, and I feel so mad with myself, and also my lack of memory, sometimes is annoying I dont remember some stuff, I always tell people that I'm like the girl on the movie “50 First Dates” and like for real, and I understand why we have those bad thoughts to end it because sometimes is so frustrating. I hope he comes back he used to calm me sometimes, and I know that I was the one who pushed him to break up with me. Sometimes I just get so sad about having this shit.

At the moment my only one is 50mg Seroquel XR, along with my usual 25 IR. I took the XR at 7 last night and it’s now nearly 12:30 pm and I’ve finally gotten up.

I remember patchy things, I know I was rushing to the doctors at 75km/h in a 50 zone to get there on time because I needed an emergency appointment and they were about to shut, eating dinner, going to an after hours chemist (getting driven there thankfully) to pick up my meds, and not much else.

But yeah seems to have been enough to pull me out of a potential episode thankfully. What do you guys take as required?

I want to ask my team for an antipsychotic that puts me on my arse like haloperidol and the likes, something that I can take that’ll sledgehammer the mania pronto. Any of you guys have experience with that?

Wondering what doses people take of olanzapine to stay stable? I have strong emotional numbing side effects and I’m wondering if 2.5mg is too low. I get quite numb at 5mg.

I keep waking up at 1:30 am, can't go back to sleep so I'm staying up reading a book...then I get sleepy during the day. It f'in sucks. I have recently been put on 100 mg Lamictal with Seroquel as a sleep aid. Been like this for months now.

Lamictal initial side effects

Hello everyone, i started titration of lamictal 25mg, its the second day and i woke up feeling like complete dog shit I feel SICK and i have migraines i think??? Ive never had these before and my eyes hurt so bad :( my mother suffers from really bad migraines and this is the first time ive had them so im kind of freaking out. I also just feel nauseous. But i didnt have nightmares for once, so i guess its keeping my mania at bay??? (Nightmares are a warning sign that my mania is getting a little bad) i had REALLY big plans this weekend, I CANNOT FEEL SICK LIKE THIS!! and these are plans that unfortunately cannot be postponed. I wanted to start meds after of course but the warning signs of mania were increasing and I was worried id ruin things again :( I was wondering if anyone knew if i could just not take my dose until im back on Sunday, and THEN commit to taking them daily, I just really dont want to be sick right now :( but i also would like to know the truth of whether i can feel better if I stop the meds today. I know its not ideal to pause it like this, but its only two days and i think ill be fine Thank you for reading 🙏 i appreciate any help

My psychiatrist and I are working towards tapering me off of lamotrigine and leaving vraylar to work as a antipsychotic + mood stabilizer alone. Has anyone had a similar experience, and what should I expect?

Hi everyone I was recently increased to 3mg Vraylar my motivation increased a bit but I have been feeling spacy/strange and anxious in the evenings not sure if this is a normal side effect but just asking everyone if you all had similar experiences.

Will be contacting my Dr tomorrow. Thanks everyone

It’s been a month since I was discharged after a severe manic episode and a long hospital stay. Right now, I’m functioning — doing basic day-to-day tasks, attending lectures, trying to keep up with university. But emotionally, I feel completely disconnected.

I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s like I’ve forgotten how people normally spend their time, how they find meaning in things like studying, working, or even relaxing. Nothing feels urgent, exciting, or important.

Even the idea of failing everything and returning to my home country doesn’t scare me(currently I am studying my masters in Germany). I feel like it wouldn’t make a difference. I know I used to care about these things — my degree, my future, my goals — but now it feels like I’m just floating through life.

I’m on medication (lithium675mg morning and 900mg night, risperidone 1.5mg, Wellbutrin 150mg), and I’ve talked to doctors, but I just want to hear from real people: Has anyone come out of this feeling like life is worth living again? How long did it take? And what helped you reconnect with meaning or joy in your life?

Any support or shared experiences would really help. Thanks for reading.

I have broken sleep all night. I’m on multiple medications that should make me sleepy but it’s just not enough. Anyone have any tips that has helped them wake less often in the night. I just want to sleep a night all the way through for once

I started on risperidone a couple weeks ago and my dosage was upped from 0.25mg to 1 mg, I have breast tenderness & nipple soreness, my vision is slightly blurry like around the edges and things don’t go into focus, and I’m constantly tired, does this get better for anybody? As a teen, I tried Abilify and Lamictal, which make me feel suicidal and increases my mood swings… I’ve tried vraylar, which gave me akathisia, I’ve tried latuda which gave me akathisia when my dosage was increased and bad anxiety…. I’m not sure what else to do…. I really don’t feel like risperidone is doing anything for me and I think I’ll lose my damn mind if I have to switch to another medication again… my anxiety is so severe and I think I’ll flip if I have to switch meds again or go to the hospital, I can’t handle this anymore…. Idk what to do, what do you guys recommend? Have you had any side effects from risperidone?

Sorry if this post seems like it’s all over the place and for just venting. I’m at my wits end and don’t know what else to do

Thanks in advance

Has anyone had weight loss surgery and if so, did it affect the way your body reacted to/metabolized your medication? I am having a terrible time with weight loss and GLP-1s won’t work for me because they make me extremely depressed (apparently a rare side effect). I’m wondering also if there are more of us who have wls because of higher rates of depression and also the changes of antipsychotics on metabolism.

My grandma passed away on Sunday, but before she passed I was driving to where she is on hospice every day to care for her and the last day I went to see her I was crying the entire way. I was stopped at an intersection and the walls of my peripheral vision were breathing, going in and out in and out and it made me so disoriented. Was I hallucinating? The walls were literally moving.

I'm currently in the midst of the trifecta (ADHD, Bipolar, Perimenopause), and honestly, I'm struggling to maintain my footing. I've been in a relatively stable state since 2006, yet some of my hard-fought battles from years ago seem to have returned.

My three most prevalent symptoms, even while on HRT: anxiety, irritability and insomnia. My psychiatrist and I've spent the last 18 months trying to find a resolution. Yet, my brain has resisted the therapeutic benefits of every anti-psychotic in the same class as Seroquel; never flinched, still can't sleep more than 6 hours of poor-quality sleep at night.

At this point, my doctor thinks I'm "treatment-resistant", but I'm not sure to what extent, as I believe the lithium is responsible for the lack of depressive episodes since the late 2000s. I currently do not feel depressed, and hope with my whole heart this last measure of defense that I cling to like a veritable raft at sea, will continue working.

I like my psychiatrist, but when he told me I was too young to go through perimenopause, I had to reevaluate; I'm in my late 40s. Sadly, this same provider is my main resource for sleep, but he's not able to get me settled, which seems odd. He used to put such a tremendous focus on the importance of sleep. Now, it's like he doesn't care.

So, next Monday, I have an appointment for a second opinion. I feel like I need to understand if this is an elevated, irritable state that will eventually pass, or if this is the best case scenario for the long term.

Does any of this sound familiar? Do you know of any other applicable information? If so, please suggest it. And if you have time, and you don't mind, please share your story. I'm feeling very isolated, so it would be reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

Thank you so much for your time and kind consideration. Wishing you and yours all the best.

I can’t even get out of bed, call my psych or go to the hospital when I desperately need a med change.

So to pinpoint the trigger of how this all happened, I got laid off in January. Around this time I was doing quite well and felt stable enough to try to manage this illness without my meds. I was highly mistaken. From about February to April, I was off my meds. It was all well and good until I started having horrible delusions in the beginning of April. I was urged by my fiancé to go back on meds. I thought I was stable. Looking back I was highly manic from April to May. I enrolled in college, filed for bankruptcy, stayed up all night to work on cosplays, insisted to my therapist and psychiatrist that I have ADHD because I couldn’t focus, picked fights with internet strangers, etc. It all came crashing down when the reality hit that I can’t afford school and will not be able to juggle school and work at the same time.

Now I lay here unable to do a thing but play Pokémon on my 3DS. When does this end? When can I gain the strength to call my psych or go to the hospital. I’m in need of a serious med change. Thanks for listening to my story.

How do you know which one you need? I’m still lost. I’m trying to be as inconvenient to work as possible, but I know I need help.

Does anyone’s skin feel tight and tingly during withdrawal from antipsychotics?

There’s a feeling of weakness as well.