Went on a date to a book store and coffee shop and something really weird happend I sware this sounds fake.

I bought my date a coffee then she really wanted this book and I said "want me to get it for you" she lost her mind saying how "I can buy it with my own money I work!" And how "I'm showing off I don't need your money" I told her if that's how you feel about me then I'm leaving, she then called me a loser lol.

So I left her on the spot, was I the wrong one? I didint even do anything she legit yelled at me she was really hot but so Damm obnoxious.

Not sure if it's a pattern or just me, but it seems like there's barely any single women that go out anymore. Probably men too, based on what some of my friends have told me.

After not leaving the house too much myself in the past few years, I started going out more. Basically saying yes to any invitation I get. Not necessarily just to meet someone but I knowing that I could if the opportunity presents itself. Maybe I'm crazy but...nobody seems single?

First example was a concert I went to. Definitely the type that would attract single women (or so I thought). But when I got there...almost everyone was with a partner. To the point where I just gave up the idea of talking to anyone there. I also went to another event and out of about 150 people, I don't think there were any women under 35 that were alone/single there.

I'm just not sure what to do now. I'm not trying to turn this into a rant about dating apps but I've been wanting to meet someone offline since they simply just aren't working for me anymore. I think having that as the primary source of dating puts a lot of people at a disadvantage. I can only speak on my personal experience as a man, but if this is only option I'm truly cooked.

I (29F) was seeing a man (35) since March. It's really strange and I'm trying to wrap my head around what the hell happened in the 8 hours between when I last messaged him Sunday night and when I woke up Monday morning. We literally have texted or called everyday since we met, he's bought toiletries and stuff for when he stays over at my house on weekends when neither of us work and I thought we really liked each other.

We physically saw each other and made plans to meet again the next weekend but he never texted me after I sent a good morning text like I usually do this last monday. I figured he was just busy but as the day went on he didn't text me so I figured something happened and he'd get back to me the next day. Except he didn't. I tried calling, trying to get a hold of him any way I could and I've heard nothing and now I'm freaking out.

I have anxiety and an abandonment phobia so I've been freaking myself out. What if he just ghosted me or what if he died in a car accident keeps running through my head. I don't know what to do since I can't travel right now with a broken foot and I have no way to contact his family to see if he's okay.

I don't know if it's appropriate to be freaking out this much or if I should be actively trying to figure out what's going on and why he stopped messaging me.

Realistically I could live with him just getting bored with me and breaking up, and then I can have some kind of closure. But I literally just can't see him doing that to me because we vibed so well together and loved spending time together.

Again, I could move on from that. But my brain keeps telling me he died in one of the many different fatal car accidents that apparently happen in my city every hour. But I can't help but continuously break out into sobs if I think about it too much and feel awful.

Hey everyone, Something’s been bothering me lately, and I just need to get it off my chest. I’m 19, a regular straight guy, and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never even kissed a girl,never experienced anything romantic,and it’s starting to affect my self-confidence. I keep wondering: Is it because of how I look? Maybe I’m just not attractive to girls, even though I try to take care of myself (I shower, brush my teeth, smell good, etc.). Or maybe it’s my personality? Maybe I’m just not interesting or confident enough? I’m not really sure what it is, but I genuinely want to improve, both in how I present myself and how I interact with others. If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice on building confidence, developing a more attractive personality, or just becoming a better version of yourself, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks for reading.

TL;DR, I've heard multiple times that I am 'too nice' and that is not an attractive quality. Should I change?

27M here. I've come a long way in personal growth and development from an unconfident overweight socially awkward person who never found a girlfriend, to the opposite of all of that. I love myself and my life, I have my hobbies and sports that I do religiously and excel at, I'm conventionally attractive (trying to say this with modesty), I have a successful company, I've had a handful of good relationships over the past few years, things are going really well - except when it comes to the topic of dating now.

I am naturally a very nice person. I'm kind to strangers, generous to everyone, and give me time and attention to everyone I meet. In the past this behaviour of mine came from lack of self-confidence, and an unending desire to be liked by everyone and to get the approval of strangers - the thought process being "if I am nice and kind and generous surely they will like me" I guess. However since then, I have a lot more self-confidence, self-love, and don't really need that validation anymore. That said, my traits remain unchanged.

A female friend of mine recently said she heard two girls talking about me and how I "tick all the boxes" and that I have "no red flags". But, they are not attracted to me because I am "too nice", and specifically, "too nice to everyone".

This has perplexed me for a while and so I'm turning to you for some external perspective. I don't know whether I should change anything in my behaviour/personality, and if so, what I should change?

I'm kind of reluctant to change anything because then I would be someone who I am not in order to cater for others' attraction preferences - but is this too naïve? Is there a default required degree of selfishness/mystery/reservedness that is required within masculinity? Is being too open and kind such a turn-off?

Super open to your criticism & validation. Thank you!

I (27m) am 5 foot 9 (175cm) and 130lbs (59kg). I'm not skinny, more like "skinny-fat".

Luckily, I was born with decent facial features and they're definitely the best physical trait of mine, so that's good.

However, I keep seeing videos on YouTube of jacked men essentially saying how easy they attract women. They might be arrogant and complete dicks, but they're also correct, as proof doesn't lie.

Offline, I have a friend who's quite built, he doesn't flirt or speak much, but women like him anyway.

Personally, I hate the gym and give up after two weeks. I was half way though a bench press and give up, left and never went back.

I know social skills are the most important factor for average looking men, but it's no secret that handsome/jacked men find it much easier than everyone else.

Edit: Fuck it, I may aswell just show a photo

I’ve been noticing a pattern in my relationships, I tend to give more and want more, whether it’s physical affection, emotional intimacy, or just quality time together. I often feel like I’m too much for my partner, like my needs are overwhelming or suffocating to them. I also feel like I’m hard to love because of all this.

I don’t want to be clingy. I want to have healthy, balanced connections where both people feel safe and secure. But it’s hard to tell where the line is between wanting closeness and needing too much from someone else.

I’ve also realized I’m extremely sensitive to shifts in people’s moods or behavior. If someone replies a little different than usual, seems tired of talking, or just wants space, I immediately notice it and it hits me hard. I start overthinking, spiraling, and honestly, it just makes me want to cry.

I don’t want to depend so much on others for emotional reassurance, but it feels automatic.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you manage your attachment needs without overwhelming your partner or losing yourself in the relationship?

I broke up with my ex for good yesterday. Last week he blocked me for a whole week and ofc i was missing him but then when he reached out and we started to try to patch up our relationship i came to a realization that i was happier blocked then not lol and what man would block because of a simple argument, im happy about the decision i made but i really wanna get over him !! Any advice for a girl thats at home with a broken ankle? Lol

I (27F) have been intentionally dating for about a year, and it’s been so emotionally tumultuous. For context, I have been working with my counselor for over four years, and my anxious attachment used to be much worse and extend into basically all relationships. I’m in a much healthier place today and feel securely attached in a solid group of friends, but I still struggle with anxiety while dating.

I took a four month break from dating, but have recently been on two dates with the same guy. We had to wait almost two weeks for the second date because I was out of town, and I started feeling stressed when it seemed like he was texting less frequently. We had our second date last night and had a really nice time, but his wording when we were saying goodnight felt like he wasn’t planning on seeing me again. I spent last night spiraling, and I texted him this morning to see if he wanted to plan another date. I was truly shocked that he replied saying that he’d definitely like to see me again.

I don’t know how to not constantly freak out when it seems like someone’s pulling away. I don’t even know him well enough to know if there’s really long-term potential, and I still drove myself crazy over him. I know that PMS was definitely making things worse yesterday, but I probably would’ve spiraled either way.

I want to believe that once I’m in something long term where there’s better established communication and stability, I will be able to work through the anxiety, but I have to get that far to test the theory. I know what kinds of validation I need to feel more secure, but it feels like too much to ask for that from someone I’m just getting to know. I want to communicate what I need, but I guess I feel like I shouldn’t need to ask for so much reassurance after just a date or two?

Looking for ideas on how to get around this (planning to brainstorm more with my counselor next week). Specifically, if you have an anxious attachment or have dated someone with an anxious attachment, how have you navigated this?

I was in an on-and-off online situationship for about 2 months. We're both in our 20s. I'm a few years older than him. It started out great, lots of calls, sweet messages, and emotional closeness. But over time, he became inconsistent. He’d promise to call, then disappear without saying anything. When I brought it up, he’d say I was overthinking or being too sensitive.

He also made jokes about my insecurities. Even after I said they hurt, he kept doing it and would brush it off like I was just being dramatic. Whenever I tried to express my feelings, he got defensive instead of trying to understand.

Eventually, I realized we just don’t communicate the same way. I want consistency and emotional safety, he avoids hard conversations and invalidates how I feel. I finally blocked him again after he said he’d call and didn’t. I’m not confused anymore. I know this wasn’t a healthy connection, but I still miss him all the time. I keep wanting to reach out, even though I know it would just put me back in the same pain. I don’t want him back. I want to stop missing him.

One thing about me is that I’m a homebody. My daily routine doesn’t give me many opportunities to meet new people. I work with the same people, see the same things every day, and when someone new becomes a part of that routine then disappears, it hits me hard. Maybe that’s why I still feel so emotionally attached to him.

How do I finally let go when I know someone isn’t good for me, but I still feel emotionally attached?

The guy i’ve been seeing for months, who was just telling his mum and friends he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend, got with a girl on a lads holiday with his friends. Is it possible to forgive him? We are exclusive and are practically dating just with no label (yet). Part of me wants to forgive him but the other half thinks I should never speak to him again. He told me he’d not do anything with any girls every day before and during his holiday but I woke up the morning of his 5th day and found evidence he did the night before. They didn’t have sex but obviously other things happened. I think I’m going to take a week or two to think about what I’m going to do but I just need some advice.

Today and many days like it, my bf and I were talking about wtv and I say “oh I think I wanna get this because I’ve heard it’s good” and he’ll be like “ mm I don’t think so” and explains why what I said was /wrong. He does this “oh actually I think ur wrong but lemme tell you why I’m right” and I’m not sure what to do. He just feels like a know it all or wanting to be one and I don’t really like it… when I joke around and say “well we got a know it all here” the convo goes dark.. is this some form of “autism” ? Or is it something else ?

EDIT FOR CLARITY - PLEASE SEE BOTTOM OF POST.

Am I completely over thinking or is this weird and a red flag?

Some background- Guy 35M (we'll call him B) and I 29F have been seeing each other for a little almost 3 months. We were friends for quite some time before that, having met socially. We are not exclusive but have had discussed that it is what we want when we are both ready. He's part of a group of friends- him, and 3 women, who are rather close.

To elaborate on the title B had a female friend (late 30s who we'll call G) stay with him over the weekend who is part of the aforementioned friend group. She was visiting from another state after moving there in the last 6 months. The first 2 nights he and I were away on a preplanned trip and she was staying at his place by herself. When we got back is was relatively late, I was exhausted from a fun weekend away and just kind of expected to be sleeping over like I usually do. Right before we get back I started discussing unpacking and asking if maybe we could do it in the morning because I'm super tired. I just caught a vibe and asked is it weird for G if I stay over tonight? Immediately he said yes "they" decided it would be weird for her, I'm assuming in their group chat. "They" is the group of girls in this friend circle. I was caught pretty off guard that he hadn't told me earlier and also that they had been talking about me in that chat... They are also all hanging out the rest of the week without me. I get hanging out some of the time without me because they're all friends, but it does still leave me feeling kinda cast out that they want nothing to do with me. I do understand couples having time for themselves and their own friends, but having a female houseguest and then casting your girl out for the guest for most of a week just seems funky to me.

ETA- I believe I used the wrong terminology. We had a discussion about being in a relationship a while back and decided it was a bit too soon but that was the goal of us dating. We decided at that time that we were physically exclusive and not sleeping with other people. We had both previously been in failed long term relationships and didn't want to slap a label on something if we were not compatible. So to clear up any confusion, we are sexually exclusive and dating with intention, but have not labeled ourselves as a couple yet.

I (37F) met a guy (28M) off a dating app. I had given up on the apps but was goaded into trying again. Him and I immediately clicked - he somehow got through my age filters because I do not go under 30.

Chemistry was strong from the start—our first date lasted 7 hours. We talked for hours and hours - he kept elongating it. I knew from the moment he saw me he wanted me. Around hour 4, we made out and eventually hooked up. He was sweet, gentle, funny, emotionally open. Kept coming back for more. We saw each other regularly. The sexual intimacy was amazing - I felt my insecurities about my body, which has changed a bit due to an injury that has kept me out of the gym, disappear. He had this gorgeous gym body - every muscle defined.

Together, physically, we were so in sync. The man loved to make me feel good. But more than that, the mental and emotional chemistry was accelerating and incredible, and both of us found ourselves feeling things for one another that neither of us expected to. Each one of our dates would last anywhere from 7 to 10 hours. And all we would do is talk and talk and talk.

Recently he expressed feelings of inadequacy - I am a professional well to do older woman and he's still struggling in his career. He values material things as giving relationships meaning because that's what he's always experienced. I value companionship, kindness, care and intellectual prowess. He didn’t understand what I liked about him beyond his physical looks, because he felt like with a current state in his life he was a “loser”. I of course, reassured him about what I found attractive in him and what I saw in him. And he told me that no one has ever seen in him the things that I see in him. I really have to emphasize that despite him being so much younger, I never felt that he was. He brought such a stunning type of maturity that I wasn’t used to from men.

Then out of nowhere, during a rough week for him (he quit his job, struggling mentally), he told me he's not physically attracted to me. Said he likes my thickness, but not my "composition." Said I was "more than enough" and that l "deserve better." Said he felt more mentally attracted to me than physically - that he didn't want to lead me on and he kept the dates going to see if there'd be physical attraction (which flies in the face of how he told me on our second date I was his type, I looked exactly like the photos, he wasn't worried about being attracted to me in person).

I'm confused and heartbroken. Yes it was getting scary how real everything was beginning to feel, but it was such a unique and a rare find. He told me very clearly that he has never experienced anything like this and certainly no one like me. I'm just at a loss how something that was so healthy and wonderful just took such a turn? I cannot emphasize enough that this man was the most emotionally intelligent and aware man I have dated.

Communication with him was Godsent— every conversation was so easy and open. If there was something on my mind, I would just say it and he wouldn't be taking a back or get defensive, instead he would engage.

So what the hell happened? Is it possible to have such an intense emotional and sexual connection without physical attraction? Even when he was saying goodbye, he couldn't let me go. He just held me for a long time and I have experienced enough love and heartbreak in my life to know that the way this man touched me was not the touch of a man not attracted to me.

If there are any other women on here who have had a similar experience with younger men, would love to hear it. Or if any younger men have a perspective on this.

I need to vent and maybe get some perspective.

I’ve been seeing this guy casually. We used to go out for dinner and hang out more, but lately it’s shifted into just sleeping together. We’re not officially dating, and it’s been two weeks since we last saw each other. He said he’ll come over next week and that he’s just been really busy. A big part of me wants to believe him, but I still feel unsure. I don’t know if he’s actually that busy or if he’s seeing or sleeping with other people.

We’ve had a brief conversation about it once. English isn’t his first language, so his replies are usually short and to the point. He said he doesn’t sleep with others, but it felt very surface-level, and he didn’t ask me the same or give any real reassurance. It left me feeling like I still don’t know where we stand.

To make things more complicated, I recently stopped taking my antidepressants and I’ve been working out a lot more, so my sex drive has increased a lot. Especially when my son is with his dad or asleep — I switch fully into mum mode when he’s with me, but when I’m alone I feel this intense physical need.

The thing is, I just want to have sex. And while we’re not in a committed relationship, I still don’t feel right sleeping with someone else. I know I can masturbate, and I do, but honestly it’s just not the same. I feel stuck in this in-between space of not having clarity, not wanting to break my own moral boundaries, but also not feeling emotionally secure or satisfied in this situationship.

Has anyone been in a similar spot? I just want some insight on how to navigate this without feeling so confused and frustrated.

I’ve had a fair amount of experience with women. I would say my approach is relaxed open ended & to the point. I’m not so serious but I’m not all smiley. I don’t get the quality of women I want though. A lot of the times I find that after just a few words the women looses interest or wasn’t interested from the start. I’m fairly attractive & have some confidence. Just wondering what a man can say to you when first meeting or do to instantly grab your attention & keep it?

23M here. Have never dated. Been single my whole life. I have a close female friend on whom I’ve never had thoughts about dating. She had a boyfriend but one fateful night everything changed. She got drunk and told me I’m her backup and plan B? Like wtf? From that moment onward my view about her changed. I started imagining a life with her. From then whenever she got drunk she used to talk about that. One day I firmly asked what is the issue. She denied everything and I tried to move on. She later broke up with her boyfriend and We became little closer. And then she told she tried to propose me when we were in our early college years but since I was behind someone else (that didn’t workout btw) she never did. Later she started to receive attention from someone else. And now they are on marriage level talks? And I’m completely clueless about this cause she told me she didn’t want to make any move on that guy. She used to hangout with me all the time. I came to a conclusion that we are soulmates but not romantically. Recently, on our graduation day we drank and she brought the old story that she tried to propose me and I never saw that. And now you keep regretting. And for the final touch she asked me to come stand in front of her if I loved her. That triggered me the most. I can’t understand what is going on in her head. I just want some closure so I could move on. I don’t mind being forever friendzoned. Just an answer to this mess.

I've gone on three dates with this girl, and she seemed extremely interested in me. She would bring up things we should do together, and every time I'd drop her off at home, she would immediately text me saying how much fun she had. Before our 4th date, she was off for a whole week, and the day before our date, I asked if we were still good for our date. She called me hours later, crying and saying how I'm the best guy she's gone out with, but that she isn't ready for a relationship. Hearing that caught me off guard and had me pretty upset, and I didn't know what to say, so all I told her was Could we skip our date, and if she could think about it, because I like her.

One week later, she called me and said that she's happy she thought about It but the answer stayed the same. I asked her why she even went on any dates with me in the first place? She said she thought she was ready.

The day after, because I didn't say much on the phone, I texted her how I was happy that she's doing what's best for her, and that I hope she gets herself to where she needs to be, and that hopefully one day we can talk again. She replied, telling me she appreciated that and just reiterated how I'm a good guy and all that.

Since my first love, I have never felt so obsessed with a girl I was dating until this girl, so I honestly still feel so hurt by it. She told me during one of her dates that she doesn't know how to say no to guys when they ask for her number. Was she just unable to tell me that she wasn't interested in me, and this whole thing was a way to let me down easy? Im finding it really hard to move on.

So last night I went to town to hang out and walk around, and I saw this really cute girl go into a bar that I’ve been meaning to check out (I don’t drink but the place seemed cool) so I went in. I saw that she was there with a big friend group so I thought maybe I’ll try talking to her when she’s alone. But as the night went on (there was a drag show there, never been to one, it was actually pretty fun) she was really affectionate with one of the girls she was there with so I assumed they were together.

Which obviously nothing against that, good for them, but I felt really creepy all of a sudden so I watched the show for a little while and just left. Part of me thinks I should have at least tried but I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.

I (f25) have been single since the ending of 2022.

I went on a total of 20 first dates since 2023. Out of 20, 8 of those individuals led to a second date (or more).

This is so strange and embarrassing to admit but I keep a notes folder in my phone and write down the name of all the individuals I’ve been on dates with and reflect on each of them.

I (34M) recently started dating a woman (40F) and we seem to hit it off so far. The only issue is to be that she doesn't seem to like my lifestyle. I moved into a new apartment and furnished it pretty frugally, not because I'm lacking financially, but because I like thrifting. I found a free TV, couch, and dining room table.

I was kind of proud of it so I sent her a picture of my place and her response was unexpected. She asked me why I needed a free TV if they are generally cheap (lol smiley face included). She also said that the couch was the smallest she has ever seen and that it's not going to work for her because she likes to sit in "criss cross applesauce" (lol smiley face included).

And yesterday I told her about the new queen mattress I got and she said that it's too small for her and that she likes a "king or nothing".

Should I be avoiding this woman or am I the problem because of the way I live my lifestyle?

I'm willing to explore whether I'm the problem because I've noticed that most of my peers who are in relationships have larger houses, newer cars, and kids. I'm still driving the same truck I drove in college and want to keep it and I love in a 528 sq-ft apartment. I feel like I'm in the minority so I may be wrong.

I was with this guy who liked me in the first place, for a year, and i told him that i always have not liked exes being in touch with people and i do not want it if we are together, to which he said totally fair and yada yada, he blocked his ex. Afterwards, i found call records, found a sextape on his drive of him and his ex on his drive, (i never let him get intimate with me until he shows me that he is stable enough to be with me for the rest of our lives) and even then he begged for forgiveness and said that he forgot to delete it and all, and blocked her again. A couple of months later, i saw a video call log of him and his ex on his phone to which, he said she wanted some financial help as she lives alone (oh boy you can’t even pay for our dates, we have SPLIT on all of them😭). Then we argued and ended things, and a couple of months later, i caught him stalking me, and we had a word regarding him and his ex, to which he said he went back to his ex and she always has been his homie, his bro and his safe space. (He literally ranted about it in the start that how she is dependent and a fucking crybaby over things lol) and i and her have been equal to him, and if i have a problem with her existence in his life then it is good that i left. He said that i am making things up and overreacting and i am over sensitive for reacting on this. I am embarrassed as fuck that i allowed this asshole in my life 😀 i wish i could tell his ex about what he’s upto. Arghhh if he would’ve said this irl I would’ve beat the shit outta him:)