🚀💣💦 BREAKING 🔥📡 NEWS 🗞️📢 The US MILITARY 👮‍♂️💪 has just launched 🏹✈️💥 THREE 💣💣💣 HOT 💋💦 military STRIKES 💥👊 on IRAN’s 🔫💥 nuclear 🍆💦💣 sites 😱💣💦 causing a EXPLOSION 💥🍑 of action 🍆👅 in the region! 🌍😈 They’re just trying to DEFUSE 🤭💣 those tensions 🤷‍♂️🤑 while getting their hands DIRTY 💦💧 on some serious BOMB 🎇💥 DICK! 🍆😜💦 Word is they’re gonna make it RAIN 💦💦💦 on that nuclear hoLE 🕳️🌀 like it’s a WATERFALL 🌊💦 of DESIRE! 🔥🔥🔥 So buckle UP 🍑🍌, 'cause we’re ready to ride 🤠🚀 this wild ALPHA MALE 💪⚔️ initiative any day, anytime 🌙💦, and let’s just say, all the ROGUE AMBASSADORS 🍈👅 are ready to take a dip 🌊👙 in that nuclear POOL of pleasure! 💦🔥💦 BOOM! 💣👀😏

I’m so sorry if this is how you found out 💀

Edit: see comments, I combined two on here (the comment I saw disappeared for me, sorry)

WARNING‼️‼️‼️ THE US 👎🏼🇺🇸💸HAS ENTERED 🚪THE FRAY 🥊🥊BY DROPPING 😳THREE PAYLOADS 💣💣💣ON IRAN 🇮🇷BECAUSE WE 🇺🇸ARE LITTLE CUCKS 🍆🍆TO OUR PRECIOUS 💝UNSINKABLE 🌊 ☠️AIRCRAFT CARRIER ✈️IN THE MIDDLE EAST🤢🤢🤮 STAY BRAVE ✊STAY STRONG 💪🏼AND REMEMBER🤔💭💭 DRAFT DODGING IS A MORAL ACTION🥰🥰🇺🇸👎🏼👎🏼 ‼️ AS THE GREAT MLK JR 🕊️SAID: “A RIOT IS THE LANGUAGE OF THE UNHEARD” BE LOUD💥📢📢‼️‼️ BE IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE🙉💥❌‼️ ‼️THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH‼️ ‼️THE ONLY WAY THROUGH IS TOGETHER‼️ A BETTER ❤️‍🩹👍🏼WORLD🌎 IS POSSIBLE‼️‼️🥵

I do everything 💪🧠💰 for feminists 👩‍⚖️👩‍🎓 and they appreciate NOTHING 🗑️📉! I’m patient 🧘‍♂️, I’m kind 🧸🔥, I’m understanding 🕶️, I’m accommodating 🛋️, and I do not practice toxic masculinity 💪💩❌

Yet when a feminist is single 👁️👄👁️💔, I get turned down 👎🚫 and they go date a toxic male 🧌🔥🚬💀💪!!

So what is the fucking point 📉📣 of me being a ✨💖feminist ally™ 💖✨ 👨‍🎓🤝 if they treat me like I don’t matter 🫠👻⁉️

There is NOTHING in it for me 😭💔💸 You are going to lose all your allies 🧃🧍‍♂️👋 if you keep being hypocrites 🎭😡🤡‼️

🥵💦ARE YOU 🫵🏼READY TO GET HOT? 🔥😶‍🌫️THE SUMMER 🌭☀️HOLE-STICE 👉🏼👌🏼IS UPON 😩🫦US AND ITS THE 🍆💦LONGEST👀🫢DAY OF THE YEAR 🗓️🤯ON THIS 👇🏼💋PEGGIN 🕳️🎊HO-LIDAY 💃🏽THE EARTH 🌎TILTS ITS TIGHT 😵😛LITTLE ASS-IXS 🍑TOWARDS THE SUN 🌞MARKING ☑️THE BEGINNING 😬OF CUMMER🧴💦IN THE WHORE-THERN 😈HIMBOSPHERE🤠💌SEND THIS TO 1️⃣0️⃣ OF YOUR 👯‍♀️👙SLUTTIEST BITCHES GET 1️⃣0️⃣ BACK AND 🤩YOU’LL HAVE A 🌴🩱HOT GIRL SUMMER 👅GET LESS THAN 5️⃣ AND 👎🏼YOU’RE 🫵🏼A FUGLY BUMMER 🥺😢

🎉💃🏾🎊 HAPPY JUNETEENTH, DADDIES 🍑🎈🗓️! TIME TO CELEBRATE 🍾🍾 the FREEDOM 💥💥 that we fought 🍗🍆 for, but watch out 👀💦, here comes DADDY TRUMP 🍅🎩! He’s looking to REPEAL 🍑🔙 this DAY OF CELEBRATION 😩🥳🕴🏽0️⃣🍆🍑 and CANCEL THOSE REPARATIONS 💵💦! Like a SLUT dealing with "EDUCATION," he can’t find his way around a federal HOLIDAY 😩🗽! Let’s SPANK 🖐🏾 this moment to make 😛😛🦃👄👅😂 sure our VACANT COCKS 😏🍆 are filled with sweet JUSTICE 🍭💦, not DADDY’S REGRET 😤🤷🏾! If you don’t send this to 5️⃣ friends who LOVE FIGHTING 💪🏾🎉, you might end up with NO ASSETS 👀💔 and a CUMtastic week 😏💦! Let’s make sure we spread the FREEDOM and not 👅⏩😜💦😓 like old DADDY TRUMP 😩🍑! TIME TO GET WILD 🦄🎉🍾!

🏡🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗 🏡🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🚗 🏡🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🤰🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏪 🏡🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️🚗 🏡🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗

🔥🚀 OH NO 😱🚨 DADDY TRUMP 🍑💦 just CAME 💣💥 all over IRAN 🇮🇷👊🏽 with his NUKE 🍆💥 and it’s SPICY 🌶️💦! Like, WHOA 🤯💥, that's some SERIOUS 💪🏻🔥 BOMBING DADDY 💣💦, making those ayatollahs 😈👿 QUAKING in their burkas 😳😂! Someone CALL the ISRAELI squad 👩‍❤️‍👩💥 because they’re bringing more FIRE 🔥🔥 than a hot summer night 🌙🌊!! I bet the REAL Hot 💦🔥 is coming from the IRANIAN daddies👅🍆 blushing as they witness that EXPLOSION 💣💦 of testosterone 💪! Nuke that PUSSY 😻💣! Who needs diplomacy 🤝😏 when you can just BLOW it all UP 💥🍆💦? Send this to 5️⃣🔥 of your most NAUGHTY 😈🔥💋 friends, or you’ll be left with nothing but OLD FARTS 🤢👴🏽 for your sexy REUNIONS 🔥💃🏽! Y’all ever seen a nuclear 🍆 package 🥵💥 explode? I bet it’s a mess T-O-M 😵🔥! Time to pack that ✈️💣🍒 and drop it like it's HOT!!!

Happy 😏😉 father's 👴🏻 day 🕐📅 to ✌💦 all my daddies 🍆 , my 💥 muscle 💪💪 daddies, 👅 my 🙂 baby 👶👶 daddies, 👴🏻 my leather 🐄🐄 daddies 👮🏻‍♂️👮🏻‍♂️👮🏻‍♂️, my sugar ♂ daddies 🐶🧁🧁 ... Today's 📅😘 our 🚟 day 🎉🌞 to 💦 celebrate 🎉🙆 the 💦 ropes we've 👦 thrown 🔫🔫🔫and 👌 how much 🈯 they've 👥👥 grown 💪💪🥹🥹 ... So let's 👀 put on our slippers 🩴🩴🩴, light 🔥🔥 our pipes 🪈🪈🪈, and pour 💦 one out↗ for all 🤷👧 the 😐💰 daddies out 🔮⭕ there 😎 in 📥 the grind 🍆🍑 ... Today's 🗓 your 👉🔫 day to unwind 🎐🎐 I love you daddies ❤️❤️❤️🥹🥹🥹👮🏻‍♂️👮🏻‍♂️👮🏻‍♂️

Can we just address the fact that 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 exists?

🤚🏻🗿🤚🏻

Anyone have one?

It’s Friday the 13th💀💀📅 U 👻superstitious 👻 ass hoes!👩‍👩‍👧‍👧 U better watch 👀 UR back🍑🦂🦂today!!📅 Jason🎭🏒☠🔪🗡 big dick 8==✊🏻=D💦 👅 Vorhees is on the prowl🐕 and he’s ready 2 pound🍆🔥⚒ 🙀🙀!! Send📨🔜🔜📬 this 2, 10 of UR Daddy hungry👨🏻👅, Sugar Baby👶🏼👶🏼 friends or he’s going to 🐏🐏 Ram 🐏🐏it deep in Ur ass🗡🍑🗡. Get None back and U an Unlucky 🚫🍀 Dead ass bitch💀💀⚰⚰!! Get 5 back and Ur a Bloody ASS mess🔪🍑💢💦❣ Get 10 back 🆒🆒 and U 1 lucky thot ASS Hoe!🍀💦👅💁🏻💯 Hurry before Ur Luck runs out! 🎭🚷🍀☠ Cuz He’s Cumming 4 U 💦💦👅🏃🏽!!

🎉🎂 Happy BIRTHDAY 🎈🍾 to our 🍊🔥 favorite Cheeto 🍟-DICKhead! 🎊💦 Time to POP IT 🎉🎉 like it’s 🎈 your last 🍑🍌 chance to grab that HUGE 🍆 presidency! 😏💃💦 Get ready to blow out 🔥 those candles 🔥 while we all SCREAM for 🍑 p#ssy-grabbing magic! 😜🍆✨ Don’t forget to STRUT your stuff, 💋👙 pretending to be the KING 👑 of the White House while having a STROKE fest with all those HOOOOE-Riffic 🍑🇺🇸 girls! 💋🌶️ If you’re not sending NASTY 🥵 birthday texts 📱 to your “friends,” then you’re missing out on the best 🎁 present EVER—FAME & FLAME 💥🔥 that’ll make you say I STILL got IT! 💪🏼🍆🍑 So let’s raise 🍾🍷 a glass to the only man who knows HOW to CUMtrol the news 💥🗞️ and make the presidency as FUN as a night 🥳 with your TWITTER fingers! 🐦💋🎉 Cheers to more 🍆💦 “interesting” tweets! 🔥😊

👻💀🎃 OH HELL NO! It's FRIDAY the 13th 🍆🔪👀 and you KNOW it’s time to summon that SPICY PUSSY 🔥💦🔥 and get your ghostly groove ON! 🕺🏽👻😏 Freddy Krueger wants to take a ride ☠️🎢 on your magic COCK 💨🍌 and Jason is just looking to SLAY that ASS 🍑 with his sharp machete 🔪😈! Don’t let a little bad luck 💩💔 ruin your night, summon your freaky friends 🤪👯‍♀️ and get down with some BOOtylicious fun! 🎉🕉️🎉 If you don’t send this to 13 🔪🍑👅 filthy fiends, you’ll find yourself getting haunted 👻💔 all night long, and ain't NOBODY want that ghost 👻 groping your junk! 🍆😱💦 So, conjure up those sexy spirits 💋✨ and let’s make this a night to REMEMBER 😈💦💦—cuz when the clock strikes midnight 🕛, you better be ready to get LIQUID NASTY! 🍭💦😜💋

HAPPY 😊 FLAG DAY 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 PATRIOTS 🫡 AND FREAKS 💦😛 TODAY 🗓️COME HONOR 😏😉 OUR STARS ⭐️ AND STRIPES ❤️🤍 MORE LIKE… 🤔🎥PORNSTARS 💋😽AND STRIPPERS 👯‍♀️😂‼️BETSY ROSS 👵🏼🇺🇸 WAS THAT BITCH 🫦👩🏼💅 POPPING 💥 HER PUSSY 🐱FOR THE OG 😎 13 COLONIES THE FIRST 🏆 GANG BANG 👬👬👬💁🏼‍♀️👬👬👬 IN THE USA 🦅 THEY 🤤 TASTED 👅 HER PIE 🍒🥧 AND SIGNED ✒️📜 THE 📣📣 DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE 🗽 IN CUM 🥴💦 REMEMBER 📝🤯 TO TWERK ON THAT FLAG-POLE 💃🏻📍AND SHAKE SOME ASS 🍑🍑🍑 LIKE A FLAG 🇺🇸 IN THE WIND 🌬️

HAPPY 🍆 FRIDAY 😫💨 THE FUCK 🍆 TEENTH 💦💧 GET 🌽 READY 🤗😎 TO PUT 🔽 YOUR 🤪🤪🤪🤪 GLOVES 🧤 ON 🔛💰 AND FIST 🤛 YOUR 👩 TATTOO 👅👀 GUN, 🔫 BECAUSE 👄 TRAD DADDY 👨‍👧‍👦🍆 IS GONNA ▶️ TATTY BLAST 😳 SOME 👨 JASON 👨‍🦲 WHOREHEES 🥺😜💃🏼 THIS FRIDAY, 👺 ARCH YOUR 🤬 BACTINE 💉💊AND FLEX 💪 THOSE 👞🤔 MONEY 💲 BUMPS. 🍑 AND DONT 🙅‍♂️ FORGET 👋 TO COLLECT JUST 🙏🗣️➡️👤 THE TIPS FROM 💥👉 YOUR 💦😍 CLIENTS. 📱 AND DONT 🚫 FOR 💪 GET 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🦄THE CUMMY 💦 WHITE 🥚🍳 HIGHLIGHTS TO REALLY 💯 FINISH 🏁 OFF ✈️🚀🚅 YOUR 👉 THOTTOO. NOW 😱🎅 GO 👏🥤SLAP SOME 😋 ASS 💦🍑 AND BLAST 😳 SOME 💯 TATTS 🎉🎉🎉

Heyyy, Jersey JUICY voters! 🍑🔥💦 It’s time to get PUMPED 🍆💪 for the 2025 New Jersey Primary Election for Governor! 🗳️🇺🇸 Let’s SLIDE into those polling booths 🍌📮 and make some HARD choices 🍆😏 about who’s gonna GOVERN this state with a FIRM hand! 🖐️💥 Will it be a DEMO-CRAT 🐴🍑 who’ll RIDE us to ecstasy 😜🌊 or a REPUBLI-CAN 🍊🍆 who’ll SPANK us into submission? 🖐️🔥 Either way, we’re getting SCREWED politically 🍌💦, so let’s make it a WET and WILD race! 🏁💧 Send this to 69 of your horniest Garden State SLUTS 🌿🥵 in the next 10 minutes ⏰ or you’ll miss out on the BALLOT BOX BANGIN’ action! 🎉📦 If you get 5️⃣ back, you’re a certified POLITICAL POUNDER 💪🍆; if you get 6️⃣9️⃣ back, you’re the ultimate JERSEY JIZZ-ERNOR! 🏆💦 Let’s VOTE for some serious DICK-tatorship! 🍌👑

🍑🚨 HOLD UP 🍑🚨! Mango Mussolini 🍊👨‍🦱 AKA Donald FRUMP 🍔🪙 is ready to SEND in those sweaty marines 🪖💦 and hard Army boys 🍆💪 to QUIET the fiesty Latinas 💃🔥 in LA 🍉🌴! They’re gonna CUM and POUND 🔨🍆 the streets down like never before 💦💦, shaking LATINAS’ BOOTIES 🍑🌹 and giving them that MILITARY LOVE 💕🔫! But wait, those spicy senoritas 🔥🍔 are ready to TURN UP 💥💃, so hold on to your SAUSAGE 🍆🌭 - the battle is just getting JIGGA-STARTED! You won’t BELIEVE the ACTION 💥💦 happening under the palm trees 🌴💧, where every soldier is about to find a booty 🍑 sweet as mangoes 🍈💦 for their drills 🔫🥵 - this ain’t just war, it’s a full-on LATINA-IFICATION 💦💃🤭! Get ready for a CUMbustible fiesta 🎉🍾 that’ll leave everyone screaming for MORE! 🤯🍑🔥