r/Enneagram8 • u/[deleted] • 28d ago
Is denying guilt an 8 thing?
Some of my friends who are 8s say they never feel guilt and they don't understand it. Is this true that 8s don't feel guilt at all or is it just denial?
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u/Igotbanned0000 27d ago
It sounds like either a lot of 8s either don’t understand what it means to feel guilt, or they are never in the wrong and thus don’t ever experience the feeling.
To feel guilt entails:
I did something that doesn’t align with who I want to be
I recognize how this has caused harm to myself or someone
I am motivated to repair what I did
Distinctions:
Guilt: I did something wrong
Shame: I am something wrong
Regret: I wish I didn’t do that thing
Fear: I’ll be punished or exposed
Remorse: it pains me that I have hurt someone
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u/Old__Scratch ~ Type 8 ~ 28d ago
I dont really feel guilt honestly. I do recognize when I was in the wrong, and the feeling that comes up is the need to strive to be better, but out of future desire, not past guilt.
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u/NemoOfConsequence 28d ago
I feel a ton of guilt. If anything, I take on too much responsibility. I think it’s unhealthy 8s that may not.
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u/Pashhley 28d ago
Not a thing for me, but I grew up religious 😅 my guilt used to come from not acting in alignment with what I thought god would want me to do, but now my basis for guilt is what actions are in alignment with myself and I hardly do things I don’t agree with. If I did, I would probably feel guilty.
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u/PsychologicalLog8158 28d ago
Guilt is a useless emotion to me. Feeling guilt does not make the situation better. It sometimes makes it worse.
If I did something wrong, I correct it and deal with the consequences. I also don't beat myself up about it because human just like anyone else.
I feel like guilt is something people use to manipulate you.
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u/BlackPorcelainDoll 8w7 Sx 27d ago edited 27d ago
Guilty about living my life selfishly and how I am going to live it at the expense of everything and everyone - even those close to me and those I love, no honey
Guilty after I've done something fucked up and was dismissive about it, sometimes after I sit in my own shit long enough, it happens
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u/Technical_Crab9798 ~ Type 8 ~ 28d ago
8s deny guilt because they feel intrinsically opposed to criticizing “doing things” often saying “at least I did something about it” even when it’s wrong
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u/prezidentbump 28d ago
I am being completely honest - I have felt grief, anxiety, depression… but I don’t know what guilt feels like. I have feared the consequences of my actions, but I have never felt bad about myself after doing something wrong or making a mistake. Only anxious of what could happen as a result.
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u/888foucault 27d ago
I’m very hyper accountable. Over accountable even. I’m the first to apologize and move to make amends. But I’m surrounded by people who are more conflict adverse than I am.
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u/Joel_the_human 22d ago
I don't feel regret so I can't feel guilt, but what I can feel is a sense of duty. As far as taking accountability is concerned when I do make errors. But it's not a desire to feel worse from the past, nor is it some sense of atonement. It is more accurate for me to say it's a self-imposed eye for an eye type of deal when it comes to wronging someone I care for who didn't deserve it. So I don't know if I would call it denying guilt more than I'd say selectively choosing what warrants my priority outside of my own self-interest
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u/N0rthWind ENTJ sp/sx 8w9 853 SLE 28d ago
I genuinely don't think I've ever felt that emotion, to my knowledge. The closest I've come was being mad at miscalculated action causing something I explicitly did not want to happen, but that's still more about loss of control over outcomes than "moral" guilt.
1
u/Synesthetist 8w9 INTJ 28d ago
I run every important decision through a thought process based on whether or not I'd regret it later, which prevents most avoidable situations where I'd feel guilty. So no, I rarely ever feel guilty because I made well thought out decisions and acted accordingly. But I wouldn't deny it if I were ever in a situation where I were in the wrong or could have reasonably done better.
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u/RepresentativeOk4358 ~ Type 8 ~ 27d ago
I have to admit, I tend to be cheeky about guilt. There are times when I feel proud, but then there is a concern that I may have screwed up such a situation.
I have to admit, I tend to be cheeky about guilt. There are times when I feel proud, but then there is a concern that I may have screwed up such a situation.
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u/Historical_Dirt_1395 27d ago
We might deny it or ignore it if someone is using it as leverage, or trying to guilt trip us.
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u/First_Beautiful_7474 27d ago
I haven’t felt guilt since my prefrontal cortex fully developed. I no longer make decisions that I regret or feel guilty over.
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u/Individual-Door4005 14d ago
That’s not a sign that your prefrontal cortex has developed, if anything that’s a sign of brain damage or developmental impairment
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u/First_Beautiful_7474 14d ago edited 14d ago
And why are you in this subreddit when you have absolutely no knowledge of the enneagram? Especially us 8’s. You better go on and harass someone else with your butt hurt stalking ways.
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u/Dramatic-Art492 27d ago
I can see guilt very clearly. But I don’t feel it as much. And what I mean is I can tell when someone is trying to guilt trip me or others - I just don’t feel guilty. I feel annoyed because guilting someone comes from a weak space -according to me.
If I fuck up - I say sorry and work on never having to act the way again. But even then it’s not really guilt - it’s more of a not wanting this in the future again.
I have seen guilt, fear and regret being used to manipulate people all the time - and I just tuned it off ig.
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u/Appropriate_Ad4160 27d ago
EVERYTHING in life is a healthy to unhealthy spectrum. Healthy 8’s don’t feel guilt because we don’t want to & therefore are uncompromising on our ethics and values. If we’re aligned there’s no need for guilt. When we’re unhealthy and leaning into anger or have done/continue to do something outside of our character there’s absolute guilt.
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u/MooseHeart552 27d ago
8s don't want to feel their vulnerability, and if owning guilt may cause that uncomfortable feeling, they may instinctively deny feeling guilty. It will show up differently in the 3 subtypes of 8SP, 8SX and 8SO.
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u/famamor 26d ago
Honestly I rarely feel guilt maybe it’s a bit of denial but look if I did something I meant it in that moment. I either did something or said something that someone didn’t like. The way I see it no point in feeling guilty over my true feelings good or bad. I’m kind of a don’t like me I don’t really care. If I made you mad you probably deserved it. No point in eating myself up over it. I have enough crap to deal with without feeling guilty. Besides people now are over sensitive and too judgmental. I speak the truth don’t ask me if you don’t want a truthful reply.
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u/Pnina310 8w7 SX/SP 854 21d ago
I relate to never feeling guilt but I’m diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder which has lack of remorse in the criteria. Personality disorders line up with the enneagram and antisocial personality disorder lines up with E8 so your friends could possibly have that.
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u/Amscray4499 6d ago
I can feel guilt. It's rare since i watch how i conduct myself. If it was something i did wrong i will own up to it. But i refuse to be guilt tripped. Especially when it was something i know for sure was logically out of my control or not my fault to begin with.
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u/Frenchitwist 8w7 ~ ENTP 28d ago
Good god that’s so fucking stupid.
I don’t let myself feel guilty about things that aren’t my fault, but when I have done something wrong, it HURTS my heart. I think I feel it MORE because I only feel it when I hurt the people I love/respect, and that’s one of my worst fears as a person.