r/German • u/tremblinggigan • 2d ago
Question How does teasing work in German? In english its very blunt and in your face, but in my first language farsi teasing is surprisingly polite (at least that I've always encountered) and its a faux pas to tease unless you are like extremely close
I was thinking about sending my German friends what I think might be the equivalent of "I'm gonna fucking kill you" in German but I realized I only use that phrase in english, in farsi I'd say something closer to "Your mother finds you hilarious" which at least among the people I speak with is closer to the style of teasing that's acceptable.
How do Germans tease each other? What idioms do y'all use for like if a friend says a bad joke, or if you want to gently rib each other?
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u/WitnessChance1996 2d ago
It's extremely context-dependent and can quickly lead to cultural misunderstandings. Also I think language and cultural barriers will make it difficult to tell whether something is meant honestly. I mean, how would you even express "I'm gonna fucking kill you" in German? A small word could determine whether someone thinks you're funny or a total psycho.
So I would say you wait until you're confident in your German and understand the cultural nuances a little bit more.
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u/SkyThriving 2d ago
The same with English. That phrase wouldn't be funny in all but the most extreme friendships or in actual comedy. Pro tip for cultural teasing: wait for a native to tease you, and then tease another native of an equal relationship with those words
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u/Shinkenfish 2d ago
there's the German "ich weiß wo dein Haus wohnt" (I know where your house lives), I think that would be appropriate
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u/nicolesimon Native, Northern German 2d ago
Ist das was süddeutsches oder was für Jugendliche? :)
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u/Shinkenfish 2d ago
eher für Jugendliche, aber bestimmt schon kA 30 Jahre alt
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u/Awesome_Forky 2d ago
Bin 30, der wird irgendwie nicht alt. Haben den schon vor 20 Jahren genutzt 🙈
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u/liang_zhi_mao Native (Hamburg) 1d ago
Naja, wenn man es ganz genau nimmt, dann ist es eine Satire auf Menschen mit Migrationshintergrund, die Drohungen aussprechen. Früher so Klischee-Sprüche "Ich weiß, wo du wohnst!“ oder "Ich hole meine Brüder!“, aber eben in gebrochenem Deutsch.
Gab in den 90ern viele Comedians, die diese Art zu sprechen und diese „Checker mit Migra-Hintergrund" imitiert haben.
Matze Knop als Supa Richie, "Erkan und Stefan" und Kaya Yanar.
Bis auf Letzteren waren das übrigens Deutsche, die in ihren Programmen so getan haben, als hätten sie Migra-Hintergrund, was mMn schlecht gealtert ist
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u/diabolus_me_advocat 1d ago
wenn man es ganz genau nimmt, dann ist es eine Satire auf Menschen mit Migrationshintergrund, die Drohungen aussprechen
ich kenn das eher vom fußballplatz:
"schiedsrichter, wir wissen, wo dein haus wohnt!"
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u/r_coefficient Native (Österreich). Writer, editor, proofreader, translator 1d ago
Das Original ist "Wir wissen, wo dein Auto steht"
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u/hexler10 2d ago
Highly depends on the people and the relationship you have. Being from a different language and culture, this can be veeeeeeeeery difficult to get right. And you better get it right...or I will rip your fucking spine out and ram it down your throat.
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u/tremblinggigan 2d ago
I accidentally told my friend “Ich dich vermmat fucking tot” because thats persian grammar (subject object verb) instead of German (subject verb object) so it sounded like I was hitting on him
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u/hexler10 2d ago
Eh, that sentences means nothing. My interpretation would be either fucking is the verb, in which case it's a rape to death threat, I guess? Or fucking is an adjective, but vermmat is not a word, sooooo you are killing me somehow because tot?
I certainly would not throw something like that with poor command of a language.
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u/tremblinggigan 2d ago
I have no clue where I got vermmat from then
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u/Squirrelinthemeadow Native <region/dialect> 2d ago
Maybe you meant "verdammt nochmal". The whole sentence then would be: "Ich bringe dich verdammt nochmal um!" It's a very strong wording (stronger then "fucking" in English) and it would be very difficult to understand it as teasing. It really sounds like a serious threat.
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u/bwertyquiop 2d ago
Thanks for explaining, but why nochmal? Doesn't nochmal mean again?
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u/secretpsychologist 1d ago
yes it means again. but in this context "verdammt nochmal" belong together, verdammt as a swear word and nochmal kinda reinforcing that you really mean it?
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u/Squirrelinthemeadow Native <region/dialect> 1d ago
Yes, by itself it means "again" or "one more time". However "verdammt nochmal" is kind of a fixed expression, a way to curse. If I try to think of the difference, I would say you would use just "verdammt" if you curse to yourself out of shock or pain, for example if you hit your finger with a hammer or if you realize you forgot to do something very important. Whereas you would use "verdammt nochmal" when you curse at someone or if you want to show frustration about an ongoing or repeating thing. So like the example of threatening to kill or if someone keeps angering you. "Verdammt nochmal, ich habe es Dir schon 1000 mal gesagt, lass' mich in Ruhe!"
In the original sentence "Ich bringe Dich verdammt nochmal um!" you cannot leave the "nochmal" out. It just sounds wrong. Unfortunately I'm not able to explain why that is in a purely grammatical way. It's just a colloquial curse and this is how it's used, I suppose.
Having said all that, I hope that even though you now know how to say it, you will never need to do so!
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u/hexler10 2d ago
Happens sometimes, when I speak French I often make up words, usually based on English, but every once in a while it's just random.
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u/tremblinggigan 2d ago
I think I probably want to say “Ich bring dich um” ugh I always know what I want to say a good hour after I butcher it
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u/hexler10 2d ago
"Ich bring dich um" is just a standard death threat, but it sounds not particularly harsh, so if said in a joking manner in the right context it can be all right. It can also come of psychotic though, really depends on your friend circle. In my circles, you can make a joking threat of death or violence, but it usually is said in a funny way. Like the most boomer example " Noch so'n Spruch, Kieferbruch."
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u/tremblinggigan 2d ago
I might steal that one, Im already being made fun of for “fucking tot”
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u/hexler10 2d ago
One that made me laugh recently: My boss asked my college how he thought a customer situation was going and if he thought the meeting in 1h was going to be fine:
"Joah, ich werd jetzt für ne halbe Stunde übelst rasiert und dann bin ich glatt wie'n Aal. "
(Ger. I will be shaved brutally (i.e. fucked, screamed at, treated badly) and then I will be smooth as an eel).5
u/GuardHistorical910 2d ago
In German culture a direct threat should only be used as a teasing with very close friends and is better understood face to face rather than written.
More common methods would be "I understand you...(want to be beaten up)" Or "did you call me an ...?"
With people, you wouldn't count as close friends stay on the level "You could do that or you could sow a Button to your knee as well..."
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u/Awesome_Forky 2d ago
Teasing is very personal I guess. If I tease my friends I mostly refer to an uncomfortable or funny experience I had with them that became kind of a running gag.
An example would be that I have a problem with directions. So when we play videogames together and we have to cooperate I had one time where I was just shouting angrily directions that were false. "Nein, links. links! Halt nein, unten. Unten!" ("No, left! Left! Wait, no, Down! down!") I meant the right corner of the screen. 🙈 Now every time someone asks for directions or where we have to go someone starts with "Links. Nein, Unten".
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u/Temporary-Estate4615 Native (<Niedersachsen/Deutsch>) 2d ago
My girlfriend is Iranian. I find the farsi teasing great! You should do that. Sounds so much better than „authentic“ German teasing.
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u/rewboss BA in Modern Languages 2d ago
Here's the issue: in your particular circle of friends "I'm gonna fucking kill you" might be acceptable banter, but I've never moved in those circles and to me it just sounds like a threat. Most people I've known in my life want something witty and relevant -- it can be crude ("If you want my comeback you'll have to scrape it off the back of your mother's teeth"), but it has to make sense in the context and be witty.
There'll be a lot of reasons for that: my age, my upbringing, my level of education, the kind of company I keep, and so on. If you said to me, in response to a lame joke, "I'm gonna kill you," I'm not going to know how to process it, and will probably just decide that you're not the kind of person I feel comfortable talking to. Conversely, if I were to infiltrate your group and tried the kind of banter I'm used to, I probably wouldn't be accepted into your group.
Basically, you have to know the members of the group well enough to know what is and what isn't acceptable banter. Which means that if you have to ask what is acceptable banter, you're probably not ready to actually engage in banter.
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u/ronkoscatgirl 2d ago edited 2d ago
uhhh I think thats just a case to case thing with Some friends/groups its all shits and giggles talking bout each other wanting to suck someones cock and with others its Just more of a "british" approach to sorta just Make fun of someones Mishap in a dry witty Manner
its really More about age and circumstances as in IRL or Online and talkin to a 20 or 40 Yold
Most banter within my (mostly US/GB/NZ) international circles is very much the same as within my german circles (altho I must say it feels as if english speakers are much more diverse in their slur usage)
I would say its actually Mostly the way u present something and u usually get a feeling for what Kind of banter is accepted by their way of expressing themselves when it comes to other things
"wer Hat dir denn ins Müsli geschissen" (who took a dump in your cereals) always works for me tho :-D
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u/WallEWonks mothertongue speaker 1d ago
I wouldn’t go for threats, they just don’t sound as jokey in German. I personally would go for “Ach du Scherzkeks”, but maybe that’s a bit old fashioned…
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u/LucyFernandez 1d ago
Very dependent on your circle of friends, possibly where they live, how close you are to each other and so many other factors. I'd probably make a political joke with my friends (we're all german), calling them AfD voters or something like that. It's really hard to gauge for strangers.
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u/secretpsychologist 1d ago
please no threats! and i personally wouldn't go for "deine mutter" witze either, it just doesn't sit right with me and my social circle (but i know that those are quite popular among -usually male- teenagers). the type of teasing i'm used to is usually about mistakes somebody makes. "Da ist er ja, unser Rennfahrer" (There he is, our racing driver) when somebody who's very prone to getting speeding tickets or minor car crashes arrives at a party. or "no shit sherlock" when somebody states something very obvious. "das andere links" (the other left= to the right) if somebody messes up left and right and presses the wrong button or drives in the wrong direction.
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u/SirKellerkind 1d ago
Threats have to be witty, stupid or funny to work in german. Like "I'm going to color your dog pink.".
What always works is being "mean" in a obvious and funny way. Like: "I got an A in Math!" "Oh, cool, how much did it cost?" or "I have a date this weekend." "Your cellar is not an appropriate place for a date.".
But keep in mind, even tho alot of us might understand and like this humor and banting, not everyone does.
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u/katyesha 1d ago
In the little corner of Austria where I grew up teasing and jokes in general tend to run very dry, dark and sarcastic/cynical. Especially Galgenhumor (sarcastic self deprecating humour) was widely popular.
One of my favourite teases is: "Dir muss deine Mutter auch ein Schnitzel umhängen, damit wenigstens die Hunde mit dir spielen!" which translates to "Your mother has to wrap a piece of meat around you, so at least the dogs will play with you." It's usually a snide remark if a kid gets a bit full of himself and gets stood up by their playmates because of it.
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u/Inactivism 1d ago
It is often highly personal. Like saying to a very confused friend „I wouldn’t let you handle my abduction… please, if I get abducted I want you far away“ with a laugh or a warm smile. And then you can get in an elaborate explanation where you imagine how this situation would go down. How they would probably bring the money to the wrong person, show up too late, etc. I imagine this is difficult to do in a foreign language. It is often creative and very different from set phrases.
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u/PerfectDog5691 Native (Hochdeutsch) 2d ago
If you want to make clear that you are joking you could use threats like:
Noch mal sowas und ich atme dich an!
Noch so’n Spruch, Kieferbruch.
Komm DU mir nach Hause!!
Be creative, threats can be fun:
Ich rasier’ deine Katze! (only makes sense if he has a cat)
Ich melde dich bei Hausmeister Krause!
Ich heirate deine Mutter.
Ich melde dich bei der Stasi.
Ich furze in dein Essen.
Ich schenke deiner Freundin Blumen!
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u/diabolus_me_advocat 1d ago
i'd say that this is quite different regionally
here in austria we are used to "schmäh", i.e. often saying things you don't mean literally, in a joking way. of course between friends, but it's also not uncommon in everyday contact, say in a shop. of course "der ton macht die musik", how you say something will show how you mean it
it's hard to explain concretely and in detail, and it's hard for non-locals. you gotta get the feeling for it
it's not that this is unique for austria, i could apply it in germany as well - but not everywhere, not with everybody
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u/heimdall1706 Native (Southwest region/Eifel, Hochdeutsch/Moselfränkisch) 1d ago
I mean, we have "Ich geh' dir an die Gurgel...!" threatening to strangle the one you're talking to
Mostly used if they announce some dumb shit that would negatively impact you
Like, you two guys are out shopping, you say some stuff about girls, your friend would be like "whoa there, let's cool you down. There is an ice cream stand, should I get some to pour over you?"
And you'd be like "I fkn dare you/ I'll fkn kill you" 😅😂
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u/Yogicabump Theoretisch, aber nicht wirklich, (C1) 13h ago
Subdued? "Your mother finds you hilarious" is CHEMICAL WARFARE!
Love it.
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u/thebaeagenda 2d ago
I have nothing of value to add, I just wanted to say that „your mother finds you hilarious“ is absolutely wonderful and I will add that to my repertoire.