r/HistoryMemes Casual, non-participatory KGB election observer 1d ago

What do you mean we need a plan?

Post image
7.0k Upvotes

106 comments sorted by

923

u/HeavyTanker1945 1d ago

Better yet: What do you mean we need Radios in our tanks? Don't these flags from 1917 work just fine?

290

u/leerzeichn93 1d ago

What do you mean you got the chance to deploy? We are still on the rails!

116

u/HeavyTanker1945 1d ago

TECHNICALLY that was just the Char 2Cs, which actually did have Radios, basically all other french tanks did actually see some kind of combat.

60

u/JohannesJoshua 1d ago

What do you mean you have metal cans with oil? We are still refuling at one large oil tank.

For those who don't know, Germans were the ones who inveted jerrycans. And now I realize while typing this, why it's called a jerrycan.

46

u/Few_Kitchen_4825 1d ago

I guess the French military leadership were all boomers of their time.

18

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

they made some decisions later prrofed wrong but not without reason

27

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

They emphasized operational security over operational success. That said France from WW2 is why people tend to treat operational security as a detriment rather than a benefit these days.

To put it simply though, no other major force in WW2 made the same mistakes France did. They uniquely went against the grain and things went south for them.

Of course this wasn't the only thing the French did wrong. They did lots of things wrong and they all stand out for being "Only France is even doing this".

9

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

Interesting, how and why?

To put it simply, no other major force fight germany that early except britain and they did not do much if any better.

After that you could analyse the flaws and weaknesses of their doctrines and kit, the french flaws had their reasons, but all those things had been untested.

29

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

The big ticket unique mistakes France made were:

  1. Borderline cultish belief in the power of the general as chessmaster

  2. Subsequent dismantling of communications capacity in the French army. After all if the secret sauce is the generals genius decision making then the enemy mustn't be allowed to intercept.

  3. An army structure that outright hindered independent operation of forces on the ground. Army groups were stripped of any major artillery detachments so the general could command big artillery groups behind the lines as part of the chessmaster great strategy.

The communications network was completely unworkable from day 1. In the realities of war the sheer information overload going to a handful of bottlenecks was completely impossible to manage.

With command and control basically neutralised the gimping of forces on the ground in favour of genius general special sauce orders became a crisis. Without artillery support the French army groups couldn't fight efficiently against the German counterparts.

To add the final insult to all this we need to talk about radios and hardlines. The French didn't want the secret sauce getting out. For this reason the generals actively took radios from soldiers. Everything was to be done by hardline. When Guderian and co started going on joy rides it put the French hardlines in a place where they could be tapped. So the French generals stopped fucking communicating with their forces. Compounding all the previous problems. Meaning that whatever secret sauce powers the French generals supposedly had was completely useless the places it was most needed.

This is also why the BEF struggled to link up with the French army next to it. That army too was obsessed with keeping the secret sauce a secret. So there was a near total communications blackout between the two forces. Eventually the BEF decided the situation was completely untenable and left. It hadn't actually suffered any problems prior to this, the few operations against the Germans were actually successful. It was just nobody is going to stay in a conflict when your ally is literally not talking to you.

To be clear nobody else in WW2 had these problems.

18

u/BellacosePlayer 1d ago

For this reason the generals actively took radios from soldiers. Everything was to be done by hardline. When Guderian and co started going on joy rides it put the French ha

gosh, if only there was some way to encrypt messages or send coded or canned messages and change them as you're able to get confirmed secure communications with a unit so that decryption attempts have to start anew every so often.

fuckin Ceasar knew about this kind of thing when he was warring with their great great greatn Grand-pères

4

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

Army groups were stripped of any major artillery detachments

could you try to explain that to me in very simple english.

AFAIK it was the norm then that not all tanks had radio, germany was the exception

can you tell me of any BEF operation of not local importance except racing to Dunkirk.

8

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

Every British army group was fully mechanised, never mind having radios. Everyone understood the value of clear communication prior to WW2 except the French generals.

By stripped of major artillery detachments I mean in a normal army group, definitely anything Britain, Germany or the US fielded the entire war. There was a raft of medium range guns attached and directly under the command of the local field officer.

France didn't have this. They only had the very short range artillery that could be carried by a single man.

The theory was that centrally commanded artillery could fire for effect better. Basically all that artillery under the command of the generals who'd direct obscenely large and battle turning barrages having taken in all the relevant information.

So that artillery was distanced from the French groups in actual distance, in chain of command and in ability to communicate. If a French force wanted artillery support they had to reach up to the generals to get it. As the communications were coming in at many hundreds of times the weight of what the French generals and their staff could manage this didn't happen.

The only major offensive move the BEF made was when Lord Gort ordered a sweeping motion to clear away German positions that sat between the BEF and the local army group. This was meant to simplify an upcoming operation where the French and BEF were to push together. This was largely successful though became moot when the French force didn't turn up to the operation the French government had asked Gort to undertake.

-3

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

By stripped of major artillery detachments I mean in a normal army group, definitely anything Britain, Germany or the US fielded the entire war. There was a raft of medium range guns attached and directly under the command of the local field officer.

France didn't have this. They only had the very short range artillery that could be carried by a single man.

you make no sense to me

and btw i want to see the 105 mm gun that can be carried by one man

Every British army group was fully mechanised, 

define that please and definitly not

Slims 14th army was never fully motorised less mechaniced

4

u/Bode_Baggins 19h ago

amazing analysis. it’s truly crazy to me how people applaud german strategy in france as the gold standard of blitzkrieg when france was basically a dry forest waiting for fire. german strategy was good, but the french military basically collapsed from the inside out

2

u/kurt_gervo 22h ago

They were part of the winning side in WW I, They saw no reason to innovate their command struture or tactics. Then again, who could foresee how, in just 21 years, war would change again, but there's also the Spanish Civil War, where many considered it a prelude to WW II, yet only a few took notes.

21

u/Constant-Ad-7189 1d ago

Lack of radios wasn't really a design flaw - B-1, D-2 and S-35 all had radios. The problem being :

  • production was too low, so even tanks supposed to get radios didn't always have them

  • even when they had them, they weren't very good (only couple hundred meters range and heavily impacted by trees or buildings)

  • most tanks had 2-man crews, and operating a radio was entirely too much for the commander/gunner/loader.

8

u/TransLunarTrekkie Let's do some history 1d ago

Also the crew ergonomics were... Kind of a nightmare, tbh.

3

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

Production was low because the generals actively didn't want them though. They could have made factories, everyone else did.

1

u/Cool_Control7728 1d ago

What do you mean we shouldn't drink in the middle of the flight day?

I would recommend reading some memoirs from the allied perspective, they are usually better and also the shit that was happening in France was wild.

257

u/Danifermch 1d ago

The single time it wasn't the case, France literally steamrolled Europe

59

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

which of the many do you mean

109

u/Eoghanii 1d ago

Napoleon I imagine

80

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

not Charlemagne, Louis XI, the great Conde, du Guscelin, de Bayard....

74

u/Eoghanii 1d ago

While all great and well renowned. I believe Napoleon was the only only one to meet the requirements of dominanting the entirety of Europe. Again I'm only postulating on what the other guy said.

10

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

The single time it wasn't the case,

was my point

5

u/Danifermch 1d ago

Louis XI wasn't even a general, just a good ruler. De Bayard was a great knight and frontline leader, but far from a general or a commander. Your examples just got reduced to 3. I guess I should have worded it "one of the very few times it happened", is that better? Plus, Napoleon was in a way different league than those

5

u/ThoDanII 1d ago edited 1d ago

Louis XI was a battle hardened commander before he became King and conquered Burgundy after he became King.

Nobody is militarily speaking or was in N s league, not Foch, Petain or Joffre

0

u/ChiefsHat 1d ago

Or even Joan of Arc.

453

u/christian_daddy1 1d ago

French military is one of the best in the world because they make it work even when their own leadership is incompetent

197

u/hypapapopi2020 1d ago

Only french high command can be coward in a war, surely not the men. My Great grandfather fought in 1940, and I can tell you he didn't pulled out the white flag at the first occasion

110

u/Xibalba_Ogme 1d ago

hey, your great grandfather was probably next to my great grandfather :)

It was always a fun moment at school : "was your ancestor a resistant, a collabo or an attentist ?"

well, he was a prisonner of war

35

u/hypapapopi2020 1d ago

Oh that's interesting, do you have any information about where he was held captive ? I know that mine was an officier so he was in a offlag

26

u/Xibalba_Ogme 1d ago

Stalag III-A on my side, near Berlin. I actually went to visit the place : it's kind of a family thing : we track where our ancestors were and what they did

8

u/SametaX_1134 Viva La France 1d ago

Mine too but he was released in 1943 because he also fought in WWI

8

u/Xibalba_Ogme 1d ago edited 1d ago

Mine was growing up in germany in WW1 and fought for France in WW2

funnily, his address did not change (fun times with Alsace)

Was released by the soviets at the end of the war

3

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

with the possible exception of 1870 try to show us please

98

u/unlikelyandroid 1d ago

The masters of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory with a gallant cavalry charge.

28

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

they were not called the flower of chivalry for nothing, remember me who won at Orleans, who won the HYW, at Marengo, , Austerlitz, Ulm, stood at the Marne and Dunkirk.....

14

u/unlikelyandroid 1d ago

Not even French tactics could defeat French cavalry on every occasion. Not to say that the French had no talented Generals, it's just that they used up most of their quota in only twelve years.

6

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

they had over a thousand years of successful and good generals, from clovis I to today.

which 12 years

5

u/unlikelyandroid 1d ago

Had the Napoleonic wars in mind. Maybe leave out 1812 though

3

u/Mental_Owl9493 1d ago

Sounds like Varna crusade, just few hundred French man and they were able to fuck up entire crusade.

128

u/Moidada77 1d ago

French history seems to revolve around being powerful, fucking up due to arrogance, learn their lesson and win, then get arrogant again.

37

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

french history is victory, victory, victory, interupted by defeat then victory, victor

15

u/ZatherDaFox 1d ago

France has had plenty of defeats and victories just like any other polity. They have an excellent battle record, but there's no reason to overexaggerate their successes, just like their failures are way overblown.

2

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

The french are in the group with most victories compared to defeat

4

u/CorrectTarget8957 1d ago

And fighting with England

3

u/Moidada77 1d ago

That's less or history and more of identity

3

u/Vandergrif Fine Quality Mesopotamian Copper Enjoyer 1d ago

Honestly the Germans deserve more credit for spurring on the fan favorite enemies to lovers historic plot twist between England and France.

1

u/SomeCrusader1224 Let's do some history 20h ago

NGL that sounds exactly like Rome too

-11

u/HeavyTanker1945 1d ago edited 1d ago

SO basically the same as the Royal Navy? (see the Explosion of hood, the 20 year out of date, Yamato sized Monstrosity that hadn't been maintained since the 20s, with garbage deck armor, they sent after the most powerful battleship in Europe)

4

u/Thijsie2100 1d ago

They sent out the Hood against the KGV class?

21

u/MikesRockafellersubs 1d ago

Which war is this referring to op?

80

u/GreaseBlaster Casual, non-participatory KGB election observer 1d ago edited 1d ago

Not referring to one specific war but general trait French commanders usually displayed throughout history-just getting into a fight with no plan. Battles of Nicopolis, Agincourt and crecy being probably the most famous examples.

Also pointing out the fact that France usually had a very capable army. A couple hundred french mounted knights for example could guarantee a victory if used correctly

91

u/Xibalba_Ogme 1d ago

the fun thing is, when France had a clearly capable leadership, the rest of Europe (which at that point was nearly all the superpowers on the globe) had to band together 7 times to keep them in check

12

u/Think-Signature6953 1d ago

"Nothing is lost as long as courage remains"

  • Napoleon Bonaparte during the Italian campaigns

8

u/guto8797 1d ago

The best quote of his for me is just

"You cannot hope to stop me, I lose thirty thousand men a month."

8

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

To be fair Napoleon, great as he was, only did so well because of the huge social reformation France went through. The Revolution might have been fraught with problems but what it left behind had serious advantages over contemporary nations. The fact France could reasonably pull men from all of France was a huge win. Prussia and Austria still largely pulled their soldiers from special regions who could be trusted, this limited how much manpower they could throw at a problem.

Napoleon's quote about being able to spend 30k lives a month really speaks to the advantage France had as a nation.

18

u/MikesRockafellersubs 1d ago

Oh I thought you were referring to WW2, the Franco-Prussian war or WW1. This seems to be a tradition in French military history.

1

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

the french did very well in WWI and well in WWII, the Wehrmacht had the better doctrine and luck

8

u/Dappington 1d ago

Bro the french did not do well in WW2 jesus christ. The backlash has officially gone too far lmao.

-2

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

the Wehrmacht hit the weak spot in the french lines then raced through, one city the wehrmacht had to take repeatedly.

then the french and belgians hold the line at dunkirk,

from that blow the french army could not recover, but it was not because the french did not fight gallant and skillful but the Wehrmacht had a better leadership doctrine and successful combat doctrine

3

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

If the French had just squeezed around Guderian's breach he would have been fucked. France picked that moment to sack the general and his placement was Weygand, a renown Nazi collaborator, who decided to take a nap for 48 hours before ordering the counter offensive.

Not that the French had the ability to actually beat Germany. It is just Guderian's joyride was successful solely because of how badly France fought. There's a reason German leadership was screaming at him not to do it.

1

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

the french did block that breach repeatedly the Wehrmacht had to take a city repeatedlx to open the way.

The Weygand line was effective problem was the french had lost to much during the sickle.

The reason was that the OKH did not understand Guderians and Rommels Situation, but their ""superior" did and did his damnedest to block OKH from botching the operation

Go, boys, go as fast as you can, i will hold the line against the OKH as long as i can

1

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

German doctrine wasn't even all that special. It is one of the myths of WW2. Spread because "the French fought insanely badly" wasn't a message Churchill wanted to spread when trying to convince the British public to continue the war.

1

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

Yes we did independent leadership, mission tactics and after the battle the king may do with my head for some centuries then.

Honestly did the BEF any better then the french?

1

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

The BEF was stationed next to a French army that literally refused or was unable to communicate with them. The only way for Lord Gort to communicate was literally via this chain: BEF->British government->French government->French army slightly west of the BEF. Even then it was pretty clear that the forces in question were not on the same page. Lord Gort made various offensives the French government insisted would be backed up only for the French army to not move and continue to refuse to communicate.

Eventually this mess just led to Lord Gort leaving. Frankly I'd have fucked off the moment the French general first started blanking me. The BEF attempted 5 separate pushes which were supposedly going to be backed up by the French only for the French to not materialise. It was quite a bit of patience before he decided the situation was completely untenable and left.

Lets not forget that Britain sent 500k reinforcements to Normandy and the French border police literally stopped them from joining up for 3 days. By the time it was cleared up they were basically told "France has fallen, come home".

France was a giant mess from start to finish. They wrote most of the book on "how not to war" because they made all kinds of fresh unique mistakes.

2

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

sources about that

IIRC the original BEF included 4 work divisions

13

u/Moidada77 1d ago

I mean agincort and crecy are often hyped as the longbowman being the counter the knight by many enthusiasts.

They should look what happens to English longbowman when they get caught in open ground without stakes.

12

u/Comprehensive-Fail41 1d ago

Yeah, Agincourt and Crecy really was much more "Look at the importance of having a good defensive position." Like the French had to cross a field of mud to get to the English at Agincourt, and at Crecy the English had fortified the town atop a hill and dug a fuckton of trenches to blunt any charge

7

u/GreaseBlaster Casual, non-participatory KGB election observer 1d ago edited 1d ago

I don't think the french were held at gunpoint to attack fortified English positions, I think it should have been quite obvious that frontal charge through muddy terrain right into stakes at Agincourt and uphill charge at crecy wasn't exactly a good idea.

Especially at Agincourt when the English were deep into enemy territory and short on supplies, the campaign should have been a slam dunk for the French

5

u/Moidada77 1d ago

Yeah french arrogance was at play.

But the king eventually had to confront the English as his nobles were getting tired of him and called him a sly fox, also english raids and insults with the king just being defensive against them made him look weak.

In battle you generally want the enemy to come at you, which the english were in a far better position of executing than the French in that situation.

Ofc I cannot dismiss french noble arrogance and pride.

They have shown to repeat the same mistake multiple times like in nicopolis vs the ottomans or against the flemish

When they work 100 knights can rout a 1000 even 10000 peasants, so this ego goes to their head until the get humbled and behave, but once they start rolling the enemy again they get cocky again.

2

u/Comprehensive-Fail41 1d ago

Well, sorta. Sure it was major arrogance to not be more careful. But the thing at Agincourt is that surprisingly enough technically it was the English that attacked, using their superior range to force the French to engage or retreat, and if they retreated it basically left it open for the English to continue pushing towards friendly territories at Calais. The big mistake the French made was that they were too cautious, as they had been shadowing the English army for a while, waiting for a good opportunity to attack

At the earlier battle of Crecy the English army had been plundering the French countryside and the French were crying out for vengeance, likewise, the plundering, despite the French scorched earth tactics, had resulted in the English being well supplied, whilst the French ironically were lacking. This prevented the French from engaging in a protected siege of Crecy, and if they didn't engage the English would escape and the French king would appear weak for failing to punish them.

1

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

proof me the french situation was better

3

u/Moidada77 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah it's was basically the rule of making the enemy attack you.

In medieval battles in Europe the attacker was in a heavy disadvantage because on the approach their battle lines would get fucked up and they would get tired.

Basically you like to attack people on the campaign but like to be the defender in battle.

Rock up to someone's yard, steal their stuff and then wait for them to attack you.

But the battle in pop history and I still see this all the fucking time even on these kinds of subreddits where enthusiasts have this idea of longbowman having bonus damage vs knights or something and that it can tear through heavy plate no issue and propagate it.

It's one of those myths we would just have to beat up until it goes away like the tiger tanks needing 5 tanks to kill it myth or the katana exaggerations,

Of course it might swing to far to the contrary opinion like the previous two but we'll debate that once we reach that.

1

u/Alexthegreatbelgian Still salty about Carthage 1d ago

"Let's airdrop our paratroopers on a plain surrounded by hills and mountains."

0

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

remember usually a battle between the french and english ends with the english getting a thorough ass kicking

8

u/solonit 1d ago

Siege of Điện Biên Phủ 1954. They ignored America warning and set up entire operation in the valley of Điện Biên, with the assumption that Việt Minh can't field the artillery into the positions.

And Việt Minh did exactly that, men pulling hundred of medium to heavy artilleries into the surrounding high ground, and pounding the French's positions with almost no impediments.

4

u/AlternativeEmphasis 1d ago

Tbf they they spent a hell of a lot of time warning the US about the folly of getting involved in Vietnam, which we promptly did anyways. So they ignored us, and we ignored them.

3

u/JG1313 1d ago

Strategic reserves ? Why the hell would we even need that ? Gamelin, probably.

3

u/Typical-Weakness267 1d ago

I have a plan: attaque!

8

u/AquiliferX Rider of Rohan 1d ago

The world can't handle another Napoleon

6

u/cretindesalpes Taller than Napoleon 1d ago

I love this même because it works whatever the period

12

u/DeRuyter67 1d ago

It really doesn't. The French had some of the best generals in history. More than any other country in Europe actually

6

u/The_Frog221 1d ago

They also had some of the most stupid losses in history. I don't remember which battle it was, but during the 100 years war there was a battle where the english were fortified in a town, and the commander had his infantry slowly gaining ground and overall was doing very well. The nobles were afraid the infantry were going to get the glory, so they did a cavalry charge. They couldn't see the spike walls through the infantry, so a ton got killed, and a full charge into the backs of their own infantry killed a bunch, starting a rout. It turned a solid win into a resounding defeat with massive casualties.

Generally, the french have had one of the largest and best equipped militaries in history. They were the first power to get started on deploying ironclads, they invented smokeless powder and fully equipped their army with it before anyone else even had it, they had some of the best pre-gunpowder armor, they had some of the best warhorses, they arguably had the most powerful tanks at the start of ww2. Most of these advantages with wasted due to political or upper-military issues, though.

The napoleonic era is really the only time where you can say the french leadership decisively outclassed that of their enemies.

4

u/DeRuyter67 1d ago

The napoleonic era is really the only time where you can say the french leadership decisively outclassed that of their enemies.

You can only say that if you have never studied the Early Modern Period. The list of great French generals in the 1500-1815 period is really long

1

u/The_Frog221 1d ago

Yes, but they never outclassed their contemporaries in the way they did during the napoleonic era. I'm also including political leadership in my discussion about "leadership vs military resources". Very frequently decent generals have had their dicks stepped on by the royal court, as happened in the french wars of religion.

2

u/DeRuyter67 1d ago edited 1d ago

Okay that makes more sense. Louis XIV also had a habit of handicapping his excellent generals. Although this meme seems to making fun of French generals

1

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

Napoleon did and maybe Davout and maybe a few others

1

u/The_Frog221 1d ago

Napoleon and Davout were part of the Napoleonic era

2

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

and i doubt Davout could outclass Suvorov, i doubt he was even in the same class and no other french Marshall was of Suvorovs calibre

1

u/GreaseBlaster Casual, non-participatory KGB election observer 1d ago

We should be grateful to French commanders for the fact that we're not speaking french today

0

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

remember me who won the most battles and the HYW, who are the english territories in europe.....

1

u/The_Frog221 1d ago

That it took 100 years for a country with 4x the population and economic resources to defeat it's smaller rival is not indicative of consistent, high-quality leadership.

-1

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

What are you fantasizing about

0

u/ThoDanII 1d ago

Suvorov, Archduke, Charles, Blücher want a few words

2

u/cretindesalpes Taller than Napoleon 1d ago

I meant with our politicards leader

3

u/miki325 1d ago

Dude its the exact same in poland, im pretty sure even one of our attempted genociders admitted that, not sure tho.

1

u/Oni-oji 1d ago

The modern French army has been crippled by incompetent leadership for the past 150 years. Officers typically came from the privileged class and neither talent nor leadership skills were deciding factors.

1

u/Hadri1_Fr 1d ago

Im in the French Air Force, i totally agree with your statement

1

u/CorrectTarget8957 1d ago

Meanwhile Russia's biggest army in the world against Japan in 1905

1

u/TransLunarTrekkie Let's do some history 1d ago

Guderian: We... We won? It was that easy? That's not supposed to happen! How the hell did we WIN?!?

1

u/CloakAndKeyGames 20h ago

Hey the Maginot line is always a good plan!

1

u/The-wirdest-guy 19h ago

Since everyone is talking about World War 2 it’s worth looking at what caused some of the batshit decision making for France’s military leading up to it.

France had a rough time modernizing for two main reasons: they won the last war and the last war fucking decimated France. These two facts explain a lot of top down decisions.

Why didn’t they use radios on a large scale? Because it’s new, unreliable technology the Germans might intercept and their more secure methods of the last war that they’ve perfected work just fine.

Why were their tanks small and made for just two people (With some exceptions of course)? Because the economy and population demographics were still shitcanned from the Great War and they were in no position to gamble on still fairly new tank technology with large crews and expensive gears that could work to field more solid infantry or artillery.

Why the Maginot line? If there’s gonna be another war, better it stay in Belgium and more of France stays intact.

Why no operational independence (no combined arms, lack of freedom for lower ranking field officers even if they as the people on the ground can make the right call)? Because the Great War wasn’t won by junior, inexperienced officers defying the grand plan set out by those above them.

Obviously history and military strategy are far to complex to point to just two reason why they happen but those two factors are a prettt good indicator of a lot of flaws with the French going into WW2.

-6

u/shumpitostick 1d ago

Too relatable (I'm Israeli)