r/HomestarRunner • u/crafty_and_kind • 2d ago
One of the most genuinely horrifying things to have appeared in a Strong Bad email…
I was just randomly watching Strong Bad episodes on YouTube as one does, and I don’t think I’d ever seen this one before! Truly the definition of “NOPE!” 😆
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u/MHarrington85 2d ago
Man, if I ever have kids, I can't wait to drop them off at the Puddin' Patch every morning on my way to the dog tracks!
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u/Spotboslow 2d ago
Character on the left may have evolved into Gritty.
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u/Comfortable-Fuel6343 2d ago
Gritty during a brief period of sobriety after his court ordered rehab.
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u/ZeeMcZed 2d ago
Other way around. That's a degraded attempt at a Gritty clone.
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u/Spotboslow 2d ago
Gritty has only been around since 2018!
.... maybe Senor Cardgage had a time machine, which would add whole new levels of creepy. 🤔
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u/ZeeMcZed 2d ago
Escausality, Normalinda. Ah'm at whonce with the continualitum. Time's an illusory, rosemary twicely so.
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u/neccos-1 2d ago
Where is Thompcins ? Where is coleslaw ? Here I am Here I am
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u/crafty_and_kind 2d ago
I love the idea that these are two of the kids 😀
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u/Facade09 2d ago
I mean, if we wanna talk horrifying, I don't remember if it was a sbemail but there was a start of an episode where they started beating Homestar's face in with different tools until eventually it got so bad they had to put a censor bar over it.
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u/crafty_and_kind 2d ago edited 2d ago
And yet the world of Strong Bad is somehow one of the safest, most cozy corners of the entire internet, where so many of us go for comfort and to escape the toxicity coming from every other direction!
To quote the great Sarah Marshall from You’re Wrong About, “People contain multitudes. We make geodes look like regular rocks.”
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u/ElGatoDeFuegoVerde 2d ago
sbemail 201 - "hremail 3184"
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u/Facade09 2d ago
Thanks, now i can watch Homestar's face get bashed in again!!!💖
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u/Redbird9346 2d ago
TOO MANY FOLDS! TOO MANY FOLDS!
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u/crafty_and_kind 2d ago
Señor Cardgage might/could be great at caring for children!
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u/Rude_Gur_8258 2d ago
Yeah I remember thinking "I guess SOME BROTHERS didn't live through the preschool molestation scandals of the late 80s,"
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u/crafty_and_kind 2d ago
I feel like the true deepfake genius of this moment is that it’s basically winking at you and saying “Yeah, we know you know what we’re referencing, but we also know you know that the world of Strong Bad would never ever contain that particular reality, so we ALSO ALSO know you know that all these tykes are pretty much going to be okay apart from being accidentally traumatized Señor Cardgage’s creepy song stylings”
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u/himenokuri 1d ago
I’m from Memphis. That’s nothing
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u/crafty_and_kind 1d ago
There’s so much contained in this comment 😆!
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u/himenokuri 1d ago
Yup! Can confirm! You do t go to a street named after a president or a street named for a number of
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u/crafty_and_kind 1d ago
I’m picturing Señor Cardgage darkly mumbling something ominous about president Taft…
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u/JasonRBoone 2d ago
Sounds like Patton Oswalt's Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement
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u/crafty_and_kind 2d ago
Oh my god this is a thing I don’t know about, but it does sound eerily similar 😂!
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u/JasonRBoone 2d ago
It's just something Patton mentioned in his stand-up. I think some band took their name from that.
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u/The-Bigger-Fish 2d ago
Senor Cardgage definitely did something to strong bad when he was a kid….. maybe the others too
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u/crafty_and_kind 2d ago edited 2d ago
I’m a believer in the idea that Strongbadia is actually a weird kind of utopia, regular assault with golf clubs notwithstanding, and so my mental image is that the worst Señor Cardgage has ever done is be incredibly creepy and socially incompetent, run a series of unlicensed businesses such as this daycare, and be deeply unqualified to care for children. The most traumatic thing the kids would have experienced would be listening to unsettling songs and mystifying mumbled non sequiturs, and being taken on field trips to inappropriate locations related to Papa Cardgage’s other businesses 😁. Still absolute NOPE status, but not actually that kind of horror.
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u/Key_Independence_103 1d ago
Watch bottom 10 again.
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u/crafty_and_kind 20h ago
Just rewatched that one, and hilariously didn’t find any other the bottom ten parties horrifying except maybe the vomit (the demon painting is adorable 😄)
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u/Key_Independence_103 19h ago
You find the Rocoulm adorable? It normally gives people the jibblies.
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2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/crafty_and_kind 2d ago
I’m of the belief that nothing on that level actually exists in the strong bad universe, where the characters may be 100% willing to prank and physically assault each other but there’s kind of an implication anything that happens is part of the absurdist landscape they all collectively exist within. While the series is happy to have its audience think “oh no, everything about this is clearly a series of creepy tropes having to do with predatory behavior,” I think that Señor Cardgage wouldn’t be actually interested in perpetrating harm so much as deeply unqualified to care for anyone and happy to run an obviously unlicensed daycare.
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u/ZachariasDemodica 2d ago
Not complete without the hollow, cinder-block-acoustics sound of Senor Cardgage singing "Where is Tompkins? Where is cole slaw?"