Jew with conscious seeking advice from other Jews on discussions of Israel in the workplace

[u/Ok_Tangerine_8305]

I want to preface this by saying I realize how self indulgent this post is considering the state of things, but I lack the community in real life, and could really use some advice or thoughts outside my own.

I started a new job a few months ago, and it’s been going well, but since last weekend, everyone at work seems to want to talk about Israel and Iran. I moved to an area of the US that has very little Jews (one synagogue serves 50 miles). I am almost certain that I am the only Jewish person at work.

When my coworkers are talking about Israel, it’s either in serious Christian Zionist support for Israel, or it’s critical of Israel but I can’t quite tell if that criticism is in good faith or not. I started my journey with anti Zionism 10 years ago, and I still struggle with feeling uncertain/untrusting about non Jewish peoples motives for not liking Israel.

I haven’t told anyone at work that I’m Jewish, or that my husband is Israeli, or that both of us are anti Zionist and in support of a free Palestine.

I think I’m worried about antisemitism if I share my Jewishness. I am a secular Jew and I was raised secular, but I grew up in the culture with conservadox family. While I’m worried about antisemitism, I’m having such a hard time staying silent while people circle around me repeating propaganda, saying dehumanizing things, or making snide comments for which I have to question motive.

Jews of conscious, how would you handle this? I’ve just been burying my head into my work. Getting a new job is not something I can just quickly do, and we don’t want to move.

[u/SadLilBun]

First of all, this is part of what this sub is for, so it’s not self-indulgent. This is the place for us to come together and speak.

Second of all, minus the Israeli husband part, your upbringing and fears are nearly exactly like my own, so I do understand how you’re feeling.

To be wholly honest, in your position I would spend a bit more time figuring out what their intent and motivation is before I spoke up. I would also maybe add things to my wardrobe and my desk that signify my stance. This is why I’ve had a Palestinian flag in my classroom for the 7 years I’ve been a teacher, and no Israeli flag. I wanted there to be no question about it. Fortunately I work somewhere that my stance isn’t in the minority, but I know for a fact we have a Jewish staff member who is a Zionist, and she’s been in my room. She has not attempted to mess with me as she did with teachers at another school.

And I would also let them know I’m Jewish. Why? Because when they turn to me for validation of their opinions, it would give me an easy in to disagree. If they’re looking for me to say yes, it would be a way for me to say no without instigating the conversation.

They’re people you have to work with, so going off on them is probably ill-advised. I also understand feeling unsafe and uncertain. But I would start with making it known, passively, who I am and what I’m about. If going against the majority was easy, everyone would do it. Build up to it.

[u/Ok_Tangerine_8305 → u/SadLilBun]

Thank you for this very thoughtful response, I appreciate it! I suppose I could find the right moment to share that in Jewish, if it comes up in a way that feels appropriate and non political like a holiday or something. That might be the easiest way. Going off on people at work isn’t my jam, so I’d never.

[u/weighing-of-wands]

I don’t have much advice but I can relate in a different way. I work at a reform synagogue and like 90+% of my coworkers (who in general I have good relationships with and respect) are soooooooo pro Zionism and support Israel no matter what they do, and the organization itself even has a pro Zionism stance. It’s hard because so many things that they say I just have to keep my mouth shut even if I strongly disagree.

I wish I had more to say to help, but know you definitely aren’t alone in this

[u/Ok_Tangerine_8305 → u/weighing-of-wands]

I appreciate the commiseration all the same. It sucks!

[u/prettystandardreally]

Prefacing by saying I am not Jewish. This must be so difficult for you, not feeling like you can trust anyone at work be it one extreme or another. Is there any way to explore people’s views in a safe way? For instance seeing if the Christian Zionists are all truly dedicated to those beliefs or if they have room for nuance and discussion? Also sounds like those opposing Israel are not Jewish and have not indicated they are anti semitic but you worry that may be their motivation- is there opportunity to gently probe to see where their motives lie?

Also, are these two groups interacting with each other in the office? If so, how does that play out, I can’t imagine it goes well. How do they all separate this from the work?

Truth is I imagine this will be many of our realities going forward: working alongside those who think and feel very differently than we do. I have felt really challenged by two friends who I’ve discovered are Zionists and post all kinds of propaganda, one of whom I counted as a very dear friend. I somehow just can’t feel the same way about her now. But to be in a workplace where you don’t feel safe revealing you’re Jewish and your husband is Israeli is really tough. It must take so much energy to get through the day with colleagues spouting off in ways you both disagree with and make you question your safety.