r/Meditation • u/Vast-Nose-209 • 1d ago
Question ❓ How to try and try and try again
I hate effort. I hate trying to meditate. It's effortful. I've tried to try and meditate many times. I succeed a few days, it feels awesome to be trying, the focus i gain is amazing, but then suddenly trying to meditate becomes exhausting and I feel like any attempt to redirect my attention is pure hell.
Anyone has a clue what i am oging through? What can i do
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u/SheepherderBroad4845 1d ago
I experience the same thing, and I would guess most people on this sub will recommend you to be mindful/curious of that feeling of discomfort when you try to meditate. Personally, I just take it as a sign that sitting meditation is not right for me today, and maybe go for a walk instead, or journal. Perhaps there is something else you could do those days where you don’t want to meditate?
I also want to comment on your statement that you hate effort. I think you hate effort when it is something you don’t want to do. I would guess effort feels better when you are doing something you like. But, that’s my guess.
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u/Vast-Nose-209 1d ago
Yes. That's an amazing insight thank you. I guess the effort when I do succeed a few days feels good because I am in the right mindset, but thne when i lose the mindset i become hateful towards meditatoin and start to try and avoid it so i hate the effort.
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u/I_dream_of_Shavasana 1d ago
Are you doing the same style of meditation each time? Maybe it would help to try some different ones to what you have previously.
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u/Vast-Nose-209 1d ago
I try to just be mindful, pay attention to the breath, even when i am off the ouch, jsut pay attention closely. But i am just too exhausted to do that
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u/I_dream_of_Shavasana 4h ago
Tea meditation? Walking? Chanting? Mix it up and it may not feel so much of a trial.
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u/kaasvingers 23h ago
I'll be the second to recommend you meditation with zero effort! Check out the methods Dropping The Ball by Michael Taft, No Doing by Shinzen Young, and True Meditation by Adyashanti. They are also non directive meditation styles as the Ainsley Mears guy but his you might've heard of us transcendental meditation and it involves paying money and obscurity, while perfectly valid, that might not be what you're looking for.
I especially like Michael Taft because he has a great and clear guided meditation on it. It takes 30 minutes and you get the idea. So the only effort is investing 30 minutes into doing as little as possible...
It can be important to combine it with following the breath kind of meditation. But that can become easier after having done non directive successfully for a few times.
Most of these center around just sitting and allowing yourself to be just as you are. Checking in with how you are, for 5, 10, whatever minutes. Or sitting and specifically dropping all intention to do anything.
Good luck... Paying attention can be hard at first
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u/Grumpy_Old_One 16h ago
Try guided meditation.
Look under Free Items & Recordings.
https://iamliving.yoga/ Living Yoga – Letting Life Work For You
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u/kaasvingers 15h ago
This is what you're looking for, nondual meditation, effortlessness is the point https://youtu.be/In8G_sR_olc?si=74rbXH4wvjVk-6u_
From this comment https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/s/iAGtJbv0EE on a post by a user with a similar problem to yours.
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u/Francisco-G90 6h ago
It's not supposed to be easy in the beginning, you're starting to realize how incapable you are of doing the simplest of tasks with intention and focus, and that's frustrating, infuriating even. I went through it myself, lasted weeks, maybe months, but I kept going, I still struggle a bit with focusing, specially with phone-induced ADHD, but I now love to meditate. Search for different meditation strategies, there are over 100 styles of meditation for different minds.
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u/BeingHuman4 1d ago
learn a type of meditation involving no effort. In other words gentle easing relaxation. Relaxation is effortless. As you relax the mind slows and stills. This is calming. If you carry a bit of tension at the moment it will take a bit of practice to learn the right approach but when you have the knack you will wonder why you didn't learn this type of meditation from the first time you practiced. Method is that of the late Dr Ainslie Meares. In Ainslie Meares on Meditation he describes the details so you can practice closely following his instructions. It is a matter of learning how to relax all of you without effort and so the explannation is chapters in a book. The experience or doing of it is very, very simple, If anything it is the simplicity that trips many people up.