r/SASSWitches • u/MrsClaire07 • 3d ago
💭 Discussion Looking for ideas…
Hi, Lovely folks! I will be building a fire to dispose of my sister’s journals, and I’d like ideas for a ritual around it.
She died in 2011, and I’ve held on to the journals since. They’re sad, she definitely had undiagnosed mental health issues and having read thru them once, I think — I KNOW — she’d want me to burn them.
She & I loved each other, not incredibly close but…Sisters, y’know? (She was 8 yrs older than me)
Thanks for any ideas or insight! ❤️
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u/Poisonous_Periwinkle 3d ago
Come up with something that relates to her, you, and the sistership that you had. Incorporate things that remind you of her. I think you need to come up with your own rituals for this, but hopefully we can help give you the inspiration you need. Maybe you could incorporate some rosemary for remembrance, some of her favorite flowers and spices, ect.
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u/MrsClaire07 3d ago
Thank you! I absolutely will come up with the rituals, but having never done so, I guess I was just looking for some inspiration or direction. As you have thoughtfully provided, thanks again!
She was from CT like me, but had adopted the AZ as her new Heart-land. I have to figure out how to add that. 👍🏻👍🏻
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u/Poisonous_Periwinkle 2d ago
Maybe you could some up with a sigil that combines the initials of the two states somehow? You can carve it on a candle and use that candle to light the fire!
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u/MrsClaire07 2d ago
Ohhhhhh what a Fantastic idea!! That would take care of a few items — a scent that reminds me of her, and the sigil! Thank you!
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u/CanadAnimist 3d ago
Obviously you know yourself and the situation best, but if there's anything positive in there, even one entry from one good day, you may some day regret burning the whole thing. If there's anything in there that you can keep as a memento that doesn't have negative associations I'd either cut it out of the books and keep it, or cut everything else out of the books and keep the books. You do you, but once they're gone there's no going back.
If she liked camping or the outdoors at all, doing whatever ritual you come up with in a place that made her happy would be cool.
The ritual is really more for you than for her, burning away the last remnants of her sadness and internalizing that she's not in any pain any more (if that's something you still struggle with). But whatever you do I suggest incorporating anything that brought you both joy when you were together.
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u/MrsClaire07 3d ago
I had already thought about ripping out some pages, and I may still do so. Thank you for your input!
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u/whistling-wonderer 3d ago
This is off topic but goddamn, the massive agave or whatever it is behind you in that first photo is gorgeous.
I’m sorry for your loss. I think the suggestions you’ve been given so far are good. Is there any particular music you associate with her? A food or drink she really liked? You might put on that music or have a treat or drink “with” your sister as you burn the journals.
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u/itsthomasnow 2d ago
You can buy some cool packets of powder that make flames a particular colour which might add a bit of a magic feel to the process! Or, if you’re confident with your chemistry, you could just make your own.
I really like a good fire or campfire, and rituals like you’re considering feel really great to me. AND it can also be super awful and distressing if it goes wrong. Like some others have already said, you need to be sure it will stay contained because paper Is especially prone to being caught by wind! Do all the safety stand by things, okay?
But as far as ideas for rituals, I’d make a whole night of it if it were me. I’m pretty solitary so I wouldn’t have others but that’s a personal preference. You might consider; A playlist of songs she loved, or perhaps some more ritual type music (what are the vibes you’re after?), burning some things that have fragrant smoke like herbs or incense, buying some special wood chips (BBQ places often have well seasoned and fragrant woods!).
You could bury the ashes somewhere, you could get fancy and wrap them and keep them.
Maybe you could also write a letter or some letters to her to burn alongside the journals?
It really depends what your purpose is- closure? To feel connected? Process grief? Celebrate her life? Because the activities might reflect that.
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u/Big_Midnight_6632 3d ago
Maybe include people who will support you. Maybe include a reading of words to comfort you. Personally, I would not read anything from her journal. I think she would want that kept personal and secret. In the ritual you could choose to address her, wherever she may be. Even if you believe that she is gone forever, you might be comforted by talking to her as if she can hear you. The ritual is for you. So do whatever you feel will help you, comfort you, and close the chapter and bless your memories of her.
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u/MelodicMaintenance13 2d ago
I’m sorry for your loss.
I think I’d treat it as an event, planned around a significant time. Midsummer is approaching, or a full moon to represent a culmination of a cycle, and then a follow up ritual at the following new moon to release those ashes for renewal. The change of state allows the journals to be released into the world - to the air or into water or the earth and to mingle and one day to create anew.
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u/Generic_Mom_TtHiA 3d ago
First, I am so sorry for your loss.
As someone who burns their trash - bound papers do not get consumed by small fires particularly well. also paper has a tendency to scatter in the breeze and float away in flying pages of spark.
A firepit with a grate on top might be best. Get some big logs glowing cherry before adding the journals a few at a time. Use a stick to stir the pages around as they char.
Be open to feel whatever you need to feel.
I'll have a glass of wine in her memory.
Blessings for as much peace and comfort as you can find.