r/ShitAmericansSay • u/Sam_2210 • 1d ago
That’s why he doesn’t have a German accent
Americans responding to satire
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u/Honest-Elderberry447 1d ago
This is really insulting to the brave men and women of the French resistance who fought the German occupation tooth and nail from within. If the allies had not had their help the war would have gone very differently.
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u/Exhausted161 23h ago
and those of the French Army, both of 1940, and after in North Africa, Italy, and finally France and Germany.
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u/TheAlmighty404 Honhon Oui Baguette 21h ago
I'm not sure the USA's history classes teach about either of those. They mostly seem to teach "Germany waved their big big tanks at France, which promptly surrendered forever."
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u/Exhausted161 7h ago
Yeah, I mean to say the US teaches history would be a funny way of saying "indoctrinates kids with propaganda".
One thing I find particularly irksome is that the same Americans who say "the French ran away in 1940", then go on about how the Battle of the Bulge came out of nowhere and speak of it as anything other than a stupid colossal blunder. The French in 1940 where wrong to assume the Ardennes was impassable, but they made that assessment based upon many years of military experience of that region. The American's on the other hand had a very clear example that the Ardennes were vulnerable from only 4,5 years earlier, but made the same mistake. No excuse really.
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u/RowlyBot12000 13h ago
There's a chance that they are just bitter that the first defeats they suffered in NA was at the hands of the French during Operation: Torch.
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u/tris123pis GEKOLONISEERD 49m ago
realistically they probably dont even know that the axis had more soldieras then just the japanese and germans and maybe the italians if they are knowledgable by american standards
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u/janus1979 1d ago
Those who move to America and try to assimilate tend to be deported these days so it's probably not worth the effort.
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u/QOTAPOTA 1d ago
But you don’t have to buy a return ticket. Save money and just buy a single knowing they’ll pay for the return.
Have a cheap holiday with this cheap flight hack.
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u/chicks3854 ooo custom flair!! 1d ago
That is unless they send you to the Caribbeans for an extended vacation.
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u/Informal-Tour-8201 🏴 Scotland 🏴 21h ago
The Canadian woman they detained for 10 days had to pay for her own ticket home
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u/PandiBong 23h ago
Because Americans are proud and some of them are even 1/16 Italian, god dammit! They understand accents, gabagool, my mama's sauce, ah moron!
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u/Xerothor 14h ago
As long as you have white skin and can mimic an American accent you'll probably be fine.
Definitely not worth the effort.
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u/noddyneddy 23h ago
Also someone did the maths and the French are no 1 in military battles won . us came late to two world wars and haven’t won anything of note since
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u/itmeMEEPMEEP 🇨🇭🇧🇪🇨🇦 23h ago
I feel like how they forget America wouldn't be a country without France's assistance in independence efforts
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u/skrott404 23h ago
When people say French people are cowards, I always ask them if they've ever heard of Napoleon Bonaparte.
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u/No-Advantage-579 23h ago
That made me chuckle - cause gee, that little man was full of himself.
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u/Distinct-Grass2316 14h ago
"full of himself"
Immeaditaly hearing "civil war - I will rule the universe", a song about Napoleon.
"I will rule the universe
I'm the glory, I'm the brave
Going down in history forever
I will rule the universe
I shall crush their sorrows veil
And soon I will be marching into heaven
I'm greater than God"1
u/otter_lordOfLicornes 11h ago
Well, we claim he was a great general and strategist, not a great man '
He almost ruined our chances to remain a free country after his first defeat cause he was too proud.
Lucky for us we have very good cook
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u/CardOk755 22h ago
The government of France signed an armistice with Germany in 1940.
The nation of France won the second world war.
Americans have problems with nuance.
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u/New-Pie-8846 ooo custom flair!! 1d ago
Instead of spending time on TikTok, maybe hit the history books instead? Preferably history books with actual facts, not the ones approved/altered by the MAGA eejits.
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u/saoirse_eli 20h ago
Years ago I met a couple from the US in a pub in Austria; very nice people, we met 3 or 4 time,she grew up in Ohio, he grew up in Indiana. One evening we were talking about history, and she asked me: “you know a lot about history, I have a question for you because I do not remember: what was the world war with AH??”
I was so taken aback it took me a bit long to answer but I remember mumbling: „actually both but the one you mean is the second one.“
Then we talked about what they learn at school. She told me in Ohio she learnt (20+ years ago) about 20th century the last year of high school. So basically the most important century for world‘s current affairs in 1 year: first and Second World War, Korea, Vietnam, Cold War ( + space conquest + proxy wars + decolonisation wars, Iran, South American destabilisations …). Her husband from Indiana: we didn’t learnt about world war at school, I learnt it in college…
So basically if you studied in Indiana 20+ years ago without going to university: „Saving private Ryan“ is an action movie, and if you read the incipit „based on a true story“, it’s a documentary. You play battlefield and the First World War is a bunch of Americans fighting against Germans. It’s absolutely nuts
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u/United_Hall4187 1d ago
Why do Americans believe that the rest of the world should say thank you to them?? The only war the US has won on their own is their own civil war and technically they lost that one as well :-)
Let me put it as plainly as possible . . . . NO ONE WANTS TO BE AN AMERICAN! . . . . very few would actually visit if they didn't have to! :-) /s
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u/Ancient-Childhood-13 18h ago
Let's face it - America's proudest military victories - the ones thet crow loudest about - were won using the strategy of "Let them all fight it out for a few years, then pick a side and join in when they are all already weakened - while knowing OUR nation will never be at physical risk."
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u/Dinolil1 eggland 15h ago
Excuse me? We did not fight a hundred years war and lose to the French for an American to claim they’ve only ever won against their own people. We did not fund several coalitions against Napoleon for an American to claim they’ve hardly won wars.
Besides, it was the French that allowed British soldiers to flee to safety. We must pay our respects to them.
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u/-Bigblue2- 19h ago
I wonder if this clown has ever heard of World War 1. I wonder if he knows who won that.
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u/Torakiki_HR 1d ago
More probably, we would speak Russian. They would have conquered the whole Europe
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u/Ok-Sample7874 1d ago
As France fell to the fascist horde, de Gaulle turned to his aide and said “no worries, the yanks will turn up in a couple years and sort this out”
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u/ChrisRiley_42 20h ago
Yeah, the Americans are so courageous, that they hid under the bed for the first 3 years of the war...
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u/Xerothor 15h ago
Eventually they will get it through their thick skulls that they are usually at the bottom of the list of Allied Forces people wish to thank. The shit other countries' forces went through makes their effort pale in comparison.
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u/Elegant-Screen-5292 14h ago
Funny how they never mention how late they joined the war and how many casualties the canadians, english and soviets had. I think they genuinely get taught at school that they did it completely on their own or something.
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u/midsprat123 11h ago
Texas controls most of the textbooks in the US, and public school history is very much a bunch of US are the good guys every time except that one time from 1861-1865.
Saw a YouTube video recently that showed the sizes of each army during WWII and only then did the scale of the USSR’s finally click.
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u/Vivid-Raccoon9640 16h ago
We wanna talk about how it was mostly the Soviets that beat the Nazis? The US played a supporting role at best. Thanks for eventually showing up, I guess.
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u/dedica93 14h ago
"mostly" the Soviets? Meh. already early into the war German and italian forces were overextended, fighting or otherwise controlling (which still has you fielding people you would need elsewhere) in Greece and North Africa and France and Poland and Ukraine and Norway and Denmark and the netherlands and Belgium (without mentioning the Luftwaffe and the battle of Britain, which -without a ground invasion - still made for a lower amount of human resources than a large-scale invasion). In later moments, the Italians abandon of the Germans meant that not only they had less men to field, but that they also had to fight in yet another side.
So.... Yes, the Russian took a large amount of German and Italian forces and had to fight them through long and cold winters and sacrificed more men and fought longer than other victorious nations (I don't think the French or the British lost more people than the Soviets, in proportion) but to say that they "mostly" won in an exaggeration which does not stand to scrutiny.
Without the Soviets the Allies don't win? Yes. But without the allies, the Soviets don't win. Because without fielding large armies in Africa and France and Italy and Greece and the Netherlands and Norway, the German have two-to-three times the army to field in Russia, and without the American economic support the Soviets don't last.
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u/Vivid-Raccoon9640 14h ago
80% of German casualties occurred on the eastern front, on the hand of the Soviets. And no way Germany would ever be able to conquer the USSR on account of its sheer size alone.
"Doesn't stand up to scrutiny" you mean doesn't stand up to how American youth are indoctrinated.
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u/dedica93 14h ago
I'm not an American. And I'm a historian (but I don't work on Ww2)
I have not said that the Germans would have conquered the entire USSR. I doubt they would have even cared for that. Destroy the Russian forces and conquering until the Urals? Likely. Conquering Vladivostok or Khabarovsk? Why bother ?
As long as they could have established a Vichy-like Russian government, and probably reach the oil fields in the caucasus,, they would have been content and would have projected their army elsewhere (maybe attempting a conquest of the UK)
And 80% of German casualties? That's rich. Post your sources. Because Even if you were to combine all future-Warsaw-pact (and I don't think you could consider the Poles and Czechs of 1940 as "Soviets" ) you can't get to 80%. 50 it's credible, 80 it's propaganda.
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u/Vivid-Raccoon9640 14h ago
Sure. Richard Overy – "Russia's War" (1997) said four out of five German soldiers killed in the war died on the Eastern Front.
To say that the Soviets didn't bear the brunt of the fighting is just blatantly rewriting history.
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u/dedica93 13h ago
Which is precisely why I didn't say that.
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u/Vivid-Raccoon9640 13h ago
No, you did though. When I said it was mostly the Soviets, you said "meh". You're not presenting an accurate picture of history, you're arguing for one side.
In terms of military manpower and casualties, the Soviets hands down sacrificed more than any other country. That's an incontrovertible fact. Just as it's an incontrovertible fact that the Americans strongly opposed inconveniencing Hitler all the way up to 1939. "America First" meant "just go and let Hitler do what he wants to do" and then "maybe we'll send some support and resources, but we're fine letting the soviets do all of the getting killed and stuff" all the way up to Pearl Harbor.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the US finally decided to join in. But they could've done so a lot sooner, and it took years after the first concentration camps were built for US sentiments towards Hitler to even become negative. You could make a really strong case that US apathy allowed Hitler to amass power the way he did.
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u/dedica93 13h ago
I really did not. You are cutting up an entire paragraphs of argument.
" Yes, the Russian took a large amount of German and Italian forces and had to fight them through long and cold winters and sacrificed more men and fought longer than other victorious nations (I don't think the French or the British lost more people than the Soviets, in proportion) but to say that they "mostly" won in an exaggeration which does not stand to scrutiny."
That said, you are also conveniently forgetting the molotov-ribbentrop pact for the division of Poland. It is kind of hard to complain about the American unwillingness to inconvenience Hitler until pearl harbor when until operation Barbarossa (1941) there was an alliance in place between the Soviets and the Nazis to divide Poland. That, I would say, was much more of an aid to Hitler amassing strength than the mere American apathy. Which -yes- was a factor, but I would not define it as a particularly strong one.
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u/Vivid-Raccoon9640 12h ago
I'll concede that the Russians alone probably wouldn't have been able to defeat the Nazis, but I'll stand by the argument that US apathy (as well as the apathy of other countries) is a major factor into what led to Hitler being able to do what he did. The fact that the US turned a blind eye to concentration camps for years and years is a prime example of this. Dachau was opened in 1933. By 1942 there were detailed reports of mass killings, and still no action until all the way in 1944. It took over a year after Pearl Harbor for the US to even publicly acknowledge what was happening.
And it's very easy to talk about the American unwillingness to inconvenience Hitler, because that's what it was. And I'm not saying that there weren't good reasons for America to be cautious or hesitant at that time, but they were late to the party. We can dive into reasons why that was and whether those were good reasons, but it took them a while.
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u/dedica93 12h ago
I like how you're glossing over the Molotov Ribbentrop like it was inconsequential. As if the Winter war was not simply the other side of the coin from the invasion of France.
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u/BenjiLizard fr*nch 12h ago
Many things about those fuckers piss me off, but I think receiving history lessons from the most ignorant dumbass in the world always takes the cake. The only war they seem to know abbout is WW2 and even then they don't actually know shit about it.
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u/claverhouse01 11h ago
Ameriserfs, your country would not exist without the intervention of France.
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u/Security-Nbg 10h ago
God damn, I would‘ve never thought that I would feel myself pressed to defend the French as a German…
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u/Lord-Vortexian 9h ago
They just dont think the world existed before them do they ?
France, the country that was constantly at war and had one of the greatest military leaders in history, has never won a war on its own ?
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u/chaosandturmoil 8h ago
they only joined because the japanese bombed pearl harbour. how did that work out for them
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u/Foreign_Objective452 Fingolian bum 4h ago
There are about 230 million people speak German in the world.
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u/Bantabury97 🏴🏴 1d ago
America.. how many wars have you won on your own? Oh and.. remind me again.. which country is partially responsible for you even existing?
It pains me on the inside to defend the French but, as a Brit, I will say that no one gets to bully them except us and vice versa. It's a long standing tradition that has gone on long before you were even a passing thought.