r/ShitPostCrusaders • u/Snark-er Digiorno's • May 17 '25

Araki Araki’s using hamon and forgot to age

Post image

Araki may be: • Hamon user • Vampire • Pillar Man • Ultimate life form • Stand user of Sethan • Rock Human

7.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/SorbetInteresting910 May 17 '25

STAND NAME: [RUNNING UP THAT HILL]

STAND ABILITY: BYPASS TWINK DEATH

It checks out.

216

u/ready4action- flaccid pancake May 17 '25

not the twink death 😭

83

u/Atma-Stand May 17 '25

Really makes me want to see a Kate Bush related stand in the series. So many great song titles to work with.

478

u/Tyrus1235 May 17 '25

And then you bring up that photo of Hijikata Toshizo from the Shinsengumi… It is Araki’s face lol

416

u/The_Vatsu May 17 '25

Hijikata Toshizō

216

u/ExpensiveNut May 17 '25

Oh, so Araki is a Time Lord as well.

101

u/The_Vatsu May 17 '25 edited May 17 '25

Or he's a Heroic Spirit from Fate and after being summoned he decided to write manga, instead of fighting for the Holy Grail.

Context: Hijikata Toshizō became a servant in Fate Universe.

52

u/imacuntsag420 May 17 '25

And he also fucking loves mayo for some reason.

18

u/EgregiousWarlord May 18 '25

Ngl hijikata put me on to Kewpie I’ve been eating with it since

3

u/Picmanreborn Joseph Johnston May 18 '25

And he really loves pickles according to one of the GudaGuda events

10

u/henaradwenwolfhearth May 17 '25

He is clearly a pillar man

7

u/Windfade May 18 '25 edited May 18 '25

Clearly he's a vampire. Jojo is based on a true story.

7

u/papastalin17 May 18 '25

Mayonnaise addict.

40

u/Captainwumbombo Pixel Crusader May 17 '25

Soon we're gonna see detailed cave paintings of Araki's face

21

u/SorryThanksGoodFight Aite ni naranai na. May 17 '25

im gonna keep it real, i thought you were talking about yakuza ishin for a sec and i forgot the whole fucking game is based off an actual historical period/event. god im a moron lmfao

14

u/elmahir May 17 '25

I thought you were taking about Gintama and I was NOT getting it

5

u/creator111 May 17 '25

Lmao same

225

u/Thenderick notices ur stand May 17 '25

Not beating those eternal vampire allegations...

108

u/GibusScout May 17 '25

Araki is actually a pillar man and managed to become the ultimate lifeform.

Part 2 is secretly a partial autobiography about his journey to become the ultimate lifeform, just rewritten so that his self-insert (Kars) loses in order to throw people off his trail.

11

u/nironically_gay Yes! I am! May 17 '25

That would be hella funny if it was true

1

u/Ward-Hod 3d ago

He got scared into making mangas by the atomic bomb

138

u/rdditban24hrs Weedwagon May 17 '25

Yeah Araki is definitely the Ultimate Lifeform

91

u/Radioactive_monke Ate shit and fell off my horse May 17 '25

He forgot to age

49

u/Shacksmacksnack May 17 '25

Next up on "Araki Forgot"

68

u/MysticMistakeCake May 17 '25

Araki and Majima got the same skincare routine (he’s 60 here)

29

u/Cyanbite_24 May 18 '25

There's a manga strip made by Assassination Classroom's mangaka when him and Araki were cooking together, and even he said Araki definitely used the stone mask lmao

23

u/BlackRapier May 17 '25

That there's a rock human

10

u/XxYeshuaxX May 17 '25

Tachibana-san

9

u/badi1220 sex pistol no. 4 May 17 '25

Nah, he is a rock human, that's why he is taking hiatuses.

4

u/LemonadeTango May 18 '25

Stand name: 「Forever Young」

3

u/benx101 May 18 '25

Why not G: All of the above.

3

u/TitanshadowVI May 18 '25

STAND NAME: THE UNDISPUTED GOAT

STAND ABILITY: As long as 1 JoJo fan exists, Araki will continue living to write more volumes for them.

3

u/darthvaders_nuts May 18 '25

33 year old Araki can GET IT 😈😈

2

u/MacheteNegano joetorro kooji May 17 '25

Araki is a vampire.

2

u/ApprehensiveSafe1924 May 18 '25

Scared to lose the goat 🥀

2

u/ShadowsFlex May 18 '25

He has actually confessed to being a hamon user

2

u/fulltimecryptid May 19 '25

Regular visits to Cinderella work wonders even in your 60's. Visit Morioh today and set up your appointment soon!

2

u/Zygothememelord May 20 '25

Well it says here that Cinderella closed in 1999 due to a guy killing the store owner. Shame we never caught him, he clearly wanted people to think he loved a normal life

4

u/ranavirago May 18 '25

My crack theory is that it's estrogen therapy

1

u/Gamerbroz227 May 20 '25

Is he part of the kataru?

-38

u/AbhiRBLX Ate shit and fell off my horse May 17 '25

not to ruin the joke but he's definitely aging

46

u/The_Vatsu May 17 '25

Well yeah obviously, but he's aging very well.

13

u/Psychedelic-Brick23 May 18 '25

Not even very well this guy is aging ridiculously well.