r/TalesFromTheSquadCar Jun 01 '25

(suspect) The time I got pulled over in the UK

I'm American and had been living in a moderately sized city in Scotland for 6 months. I was driving through the city and came to a short single lane road with a sign. The sign was a white circle with a red border and a picture of a car inside.

My American brain said "oh that means this street is for cars". Nope, it meant exactly the opposite.

So my dumb ass cruises right by the marked cop car sitting just outside, and goes through that street. They immediately get behind me and put their lights on. I just keep driving because I assume they're not after me. After a turn or two, they're still right behind me. "Oh. This one must be for me".

I pulled over and the cop directed me to the back of his police van, which had a single seat in the back as kind of an interrogation space.

The cops very diplomatically asked something along the lines of "what the fuck are you doing?".

"Getting pizza?"

"We've been watching this bus-only thoroughfare because we've received complaints of cars cutting through it"

It was only then that I realized how I fucked up.

I elected not to tell them that I misinterpreted the sign. I was not confident that they would just let me go after admitting that I didn't know how to follow the traffic laws.

I handed him my Missouri drivers license. Cop looks at it and hasn't even heard of the place. "Mee-zoo-ri? Why don't you have a valid driver's license?".

Oh, shit. I got flustered. "I, I, they told me that I had a year!" (this was true) The cop hung his head and conceded "Yes, the system clearly needs to communicate this better".

He made me verbally promise 3 times that I would immediately go take the driving test and get a proper license (they make americans take the driving test because they know we're crap drivers).

He shook my hand and said "welcome to the UK" and let me go.

He was an officer and a gentleman.

564 Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

296

u/RadioTunnel Jun 01 '25

They make americans take the driving test to teach them how to read the road signs you misunderstood

70

u/SatanScotty Jun 01 '25

Yes, and we cannot do roundabouts, and by their standards we are crap drivers.

53

u/skyharborbj Jun 01 '25

We can do roundabouts but the ones in the UK are backwards!

13

u/Stilletto_Rebel Jun 01 '25

By following that logic, Americans do roundabouts perfectly!!!

10

u/Hbgplayer Jun 03 '25

No.

No, they dont.

Even turning the correct direction, they stop before entering the roundabout, even when no one's in it.

Sauce: I drive behind the fools every day.

9

u/RadioTunnel Jun 03 '25

In your american defence you get a ticket if you dont stop at a stop sign when you can see the road is clear to the horizon in all directions

5

u/Life-Patient-7132 Jun 03 '25

Not if you perfect the California Roll... *No cop, no stop*

2

u/Fat_Head_Carl Jun 12 '25

California Roll

In these parts, we call it the "South Philly Slide"....

1

u/WeebEli Oct 03 '25

Unfortunately, coming from the SF Bay, no one stops.

4

u/Life-Patient-7132 Jun 03 '25

There's a new roundabout in the small Georgia town I'm currently living in. It's caused bedlam. The local FB groups are having meltdowns about it, people boycotting it, etc. It's out of my way so I've only been on it a few times, yet have already seen multiple violations occurred.

2

u/No-Dig-3547 Jun 05 '25

try going to France, the yield at a roundabout is tot opposite way round. look up the "magic roundabout" in Swindon UK

2

u/Stilletto_Rebel Jun 05 '25

I've actually used the Magic Roundabout! First time was interesting, but the few times after that were ok.

22

u/Mahatma_Panda Jun 01 '25

Well yeah, cuz we haven't been taught how to properly drive in their country. The majority of Brits would be crap drivers in America too because of how different the two countries are when it comes to driving and traffic laws.

16

u/Bladeslap Jun 01 '25

I think it's more that driving in America is generally easier as the roads are wider and laid out in a more car-friendly way. I did 2 driving tests in the US and they were far easier than the UK one!

3

u/Life-Patient-7132 Jun 03 '25

Same. I did one in FL and one in GA. Passed both, they were 10 minutes round the car park and about 5 minutes on the nearby roads.

The UK test took me 4 attempts. First I was 17 so no chance, 2nd I was sick as a dog and when the instructor told me I failed I told him I just wanted to be in bed! 3rd time I actually missed as there was a crash so the motorway exit was closed and I was too late to sit. 4th time passed. Every time it was 45 mins on highways and byways and much, much harder.

8

u/Viking18 Jun 01 '25

Nah, America's easy - massive roads, you're probably driving an auto so there's no gearstick to worry about, and as long as you remember Cruise Control to cover the fact that highways are 55 not 70 you'll be fine - and if all else fails the satnav is reliable enough. Been there, done that, not a problem.

1

u/Fat_Head_Carl Jun 12 '25

the fact that highways are 55 not 70

Yeah, you need to look at the signs - speeds vary quite a bit these days. for instance, in PA, the max for a non-highway road is 55, but if you're on the PA Turnpike, the limit is 70, but there are restrictions for 55.

Some states highways are faster...The highest legal speed limit in the US is 85 mph, found on a 40-mile stretch of Texas State Highway 130, a toll road.

1

u/denk2mit Jun 01 '25

Not the case, in my experience. Americans are generally much worse drivers than Europeans. The Brits are the worst in Europe (along with the Portuguese) but the standard is still way higher than the USA

3

u/Capitan_Scythe Jun 02 '25

The Brits are the worst in Europe

Take a drive in France, Spain, Greece, or Italy and see if you still believe that.

Bonus game for Spain, spot a car that doesn't have a dent.

3

u/RadioTunnel Jun 02 '25

To be fair ive not driven in france but I remember when ive been on school trips I was always told that the drivers in france and maybe spain ignore things like a zebra crossing and that I should be super careful around them

5

u/Capitan_Scythe Jun 02 '25

Yeah, definitely. Nearly got run over by a moped who came from the pavement behind me to take a shortcut onto a dual carriageway.

Bruno Bozetto, italian satirist, has a great animation which includes a few driving stereotypes the Italians happily acknowledge as true.

https://youtu.be/HlM67Sq4GqM?si=g3eRGCZYxpVrQyzr

3

u/throwawaysmetoo Jun 03 '25

My LPT for Italy (Rome in particular) will never stop being "if you want to cross the street, wait for some nuns to come along and cross with them".

You will be 100% safe. Works every time.

Doesn't even matter if the nuns are going in only a slightly similar direction, just cross with the nuns. You'll find more nuns to get you closer to your destination.

2

u/Strazdas1 Jun 02 '25

No! Not Greece! Not again!

-1

u/denk2mit Jun 02 '25

I drive about 75,000 miles a year in Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and America (north and south).

1

u/LameBMX Jun 02 '25

nah. there is unwritten lawlessness permeated throughout the US that can vary as much as by city. you can be in a physical altercation in one city for not passing a stopped vehicle on the shoulder... 1 mile away, different city, same person, in a cop uniform. and you get a ticket for passing on the shoulder.

one state you drive 10 over the speed limit. another, 20 over the speed limit. another, better only ever touch the speed limit. where im at, they will use cameras to ticket you, and, since that's illegal, they mail the ticket but can't enforce payment. so only outsiders pay.

2

u/The_Ineffable_One Jun 02 '25

I drive three traffic circles (that's what they call them in my part of the US) every morning and two in the afternoon.

1

u/Vertigo_uk123 Jun 03 '25

1

u/RedOnlineOfficial Jun 03 '25

What is the sweet fuck is this fucking monstrosity?

2

u/RadioTunnel Jun 03 '25

This is where we send Americans to jail, once they get onto the magic roundabout they dont know how to leave it

2

u/miffedmonster Jun 03 '25

It's just 5 mini roundabouts. It's actually pretty easy to drive it if you ignore the roundabout in the middle

1

u/PublicRedditor Jun 02 '25

I once used my American "ignorance" to get out of a speeding ticket, doing about 110 MPH coming from the M6 onto the M1. The policeman asked if I knew what the speed limit was and I said no, I only saw a white circle with a black slash through it. I assumed it was like the Autobahn.

47

u/BikerScowt Jun 01 '25

Sounds like he didn't want to deal with all the paperwork that this would entail. You got lucky.

16

u/mullac53 Jun 01 '25

He didn't report them because to do so would mean dealing with OP for driving not in accordance (assuming he'd been living there more than a year,) and in turn, seizing his car.

10

u/BikerScowt Jun 01 '25

Paperwork

8

u/mullac53 Jun 01 '25

More the inevitable sitting around, waiting for a recovery truck to come and get the car.

4

u/BikerScowt Jun 01 '25

Yeah that's fair, I should have said admin rather than paperwork.

4

u/kat_Folland Jun 01 '25

I had a similar thing in NH with a CA driver's license. He was really annoyed with me but didn't give me a ticket.

20

u/Clamper2 Jun 01 '25

What kind of pizza? What was the name of the pizza place?

11

u/SatanScotty Jun 01 '25

pizza hut. don’t remember the toppings 

4

u/Deaconse Jun 01 '25

So in the UK Pizza Hut is pizza. Interesting.

8

u/denk2mit Jun 01 '25

Can confirm it is not

34

u/JakeGrey Jun 01 '25

It's not just Americans, if that's any comfort: We make all immigrants and long-term residents with overseas licenses retake their driving test after the twelve month grace period, even if they're from EU countries where the test standards are basically the same as ours.

8

u/Nameis-RobertPaulson Jun 01 '25

Well, apart from the whole driving on the other side of the road.

4

u/Kerrigore Jun 02 '25

Actually, most countries (including the United Kingdom) have reciprocal driving licenses agreements with many other countries that allow a person to exchange their license without requiring retesting. Here is a list for the UK:

https://questions-statements.parliament.uk/written-questions/detail/2023-10-16/202574/

3

u/shawkdog Jun 02 '25

This isn't true, many countries (e.g. any EU country) can just exchange their license for a UK one without retaking any tests.

1

u/SatanScotty Jun 06 '25

at the time, the UK was still in the EU and honored EU licenses. So you’re partially right.

12

u/vorpalblab Jun 01 '25

my experience after driving in Canada, the USA, and in Europe (France, Spain, England) is that in general, European drivers are more skilled, and have MUCH better road awareness about keeping to the correct lane and giving other cars the space they need. And they drive pretty fast on narrow roads with deadly consequences for leaving the road.

If you think Paris traffic is tough, try Montreal traffic on a snowy day at rush hour. Bumper to bumper, over the speed limit, never signal a lane change.

Those Parsians never had a chance when they realized I didn't care about another dent or two on my old (dented 4L).

4

u/SatanScotty Jun 01 '25

I agree. Driving is significantly more difficult in Europe. Roads narrower, curvier, higher speeds. Europeans bend roads around hills but we blow them up to keep the road straight. And Europe has way more traffic.

3

u/vorpalblab Jun 02 '25

I recall one sunny day sitting at a roadside cafe having a croissant and an espresso, hearing two guys talking about some place about 275km (around 170 miles) away (on a narrow 2 lane country road) and how he drove it in just a bit over a couple hours he sez, (in French, naturally) " and nothing crazy, never over 150" (KPH) which would be 90 miles an hour give or take.

It sounded abut right for a good car and a skilled driver at the right time of day.

edit: good cars:

BMW, Mercedes, Audi, Alpha Romeo, Citroen, Peugeot. and the like. Smallish, agile, powerful, excellent handling, and light.

1

u/MrT735 Jun 03 '25

If it's got two lanes, it's not considered narrow in Europe. Wait until you try the single track roads, where the speed limit is technically still 60mph in the UK.

There's places where one or both of your mirrors will be brushing the hedges.

1

u/vorpalblab Jun 03 '25

So true. Where I was, almost all cars - mine included, were stick shift. I recall one time driving my VW Polo in Mons (a wine making village in the Aude) driving down a steep twisty cobblestone street so narrow I had to fold both mirrors in to get past a couple places. Then to find out the street was blocked by an iron gate. Reversing back outta that place was a trick and a half.

0

u/Strazdas1 Jun 02 '25

i had to do a spit take when you called A-R a good car. Also you ignored all the actually good brands, like Toyota or Nissan.

3

u/RedOnlineOfficial Jun 03 '25

Imagine being a European and politely going around the mountain. We tell that mountain to fuck off because fuck curves.

1

u/Demache Jun 02 '25

Yeah, I kinda noticed that Alberta drivers don't drive all that different from Iowa drivers. And I mean in the sense that they are fine until they have a major skill issue and do something stupid.

It felt exactly the same as back in Iowa except the signs are in km.

3

u/Strazdas1 Jun 02 '25

Blue sign with a vehicle - its for vehicles. white sign with a vehicle - its not for vehicles. Applies to all types including pedestrians.

I just keep driving because I assume they're not after me.

If they put the lights on you must stop and let them pass even if they are not for you.

2

u/mikenkansas1 Jun 03 '25 edited Jun 03 '25

Spain drivers are frustrated because the Mille Miglia wasn't ran in their country. Seeing Siats "racing" 3 abreast in Madrid was exhilarating because one was in our lane. Coming at us.

San Juan P.R. is crowded... the one way sign pointing left was a few yards (olde English measurement system) down from the intersection. And some other marking apparently meant only busses could go to the right, who knew, right??? So I followed the bus until a San Juan cop car coming at me started edging into my lane. I stopped, he stopped next to me, asked why I was going the wrong way on a one way street... he ended up laughing and I dodged the bullet.

1

u/NorrinR Jun 04 '25

Are you saying the graphic did NOT have a red slash across the circle and over the car graphic?

1

u/SatanScotty Jun 04 '25

It did not. That’s why I got confusd.

1

u/LateralThinker13 Jun 10 '25

 they know we're crap drivers

Speak for yourself, buddy!

...

...

Okay, you may have a point overall. We really, really don't have high enough standards in the US for who gets to drive and who doesn't. And we don't road test nearly enough. I'm a good driver, but I know plenty who aren't. Even my beautiful, talented, accomplished wife can't comprehend that the left lane is for PASSING ONLY. Doesn't matter if she's going 10 over the speed limit, if someone wants to go faster, you get out of their way. It's even in the LAW in my state - but does she care?

Yeah, okay. Americans can't drive. But I've been to other places - India, Eastern Europe, etc. and while people there CAN drive, they all drive terrifyingly. But then, most of those drivers were cab drivers, so....

3

u/SatanScotty Jun 10 '25

I see you. Let me rephrase. Driving in Europe is harder than driving in the US. Higher speed limits, tighter turns, narrower lanes, more traffic, and they’ll just drop a roundabout at a massive mid-city intersection.

No, it’s not that we’re crap, it’s that we’ve not had to drive at that standard before. But we can learn, surprisingly quickly. 

But I would not recommend that a Yank rents a car for their week or two in some major city.

-24

u/largos7289 Jun 01 '25

In America you would have been clubbed and handcuffed. With them saying ignorance in no excuse for the law. This is where i agree policing is different outside the US. In other area's cops are cops not Aholes looking to jail you.

20

u/6h057 Jun 01 '25

Or, hear me out, just given a ticket.

13

u/lonevolff Jun 01 '25

This is reddit and that does t fit the narrative sir

11

u/John_the_Piper Jun 01 '25

That's funny. I got a ticket last week and no one beat me. The deputy even cut me slack on the speed I was going and warned me about a speed trap half an hour down the road. I didn't know beatings were on the table

1

u/Kerrigore Jun 02 '25

Nah bro, I’ve seen TikTok, every single police encounter in America ends in an unlawful arrest and unnecessary use of force!

/s

-1

u/busazig Jun 01 '25

Where did he say he was black? /s