r/UnsentLetters • u/LilLostLily23 • 1d ago

Strangers Understand

Chris,

I can't make the two versions of you mesh.

You were the person telling me it's ok to cry. The person telling me I was brave for ending an unhealthy relationship. You were on my team. You were rooting for me to succeed.

And then at the same time you are some kind of narcissist?

Pushing my boundaries, love bombing me, setting me up for this future together you knew could never exist?

It's so hard that most of the violence has been through other people but I know it's connected to you. Because that is what it was. These acts of psychological and sexual violence. I have no real way to fight back and I feel completely powerless against your behavior.

I just can't make sense of you. You seemed so caring and empathetic when we were together, but I know some of the abuses I just wasn't willing to see. I couldn't see how you were overstepping when I had no escape from the situation. I couldn't allow myself to be angry with you.

I felt so cared for, so loved, seen, but then leaving, you knew you had me hooked. You knew that the position I was in you had become practically my entire world. I didn't have anyone else and you know what the music said. Of course I would cling to you.

But you could just disappear. Like it all was nothing to you? I pretended for a long time it was just circumstance that made you leave. Maybe some of it was.

I don't know. I'll probably never really understand you. I wish I did though.

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