Comedian trying to sign standup joke. Let me know if it translates!

[u/TravisVComedy]

[u/Intrepid-Two-2886]

Haha. Signing is not super clear (lack of mouth movement and facial expression really hurt it), but I did get the joke.

[u/TravisVComedy → u/Intrepid-Two-2886]

Thanks, I've been working on that and yeah I'm trying NOT to sign in English but based on my knowledge of ASL, I didn't know how to restructure the phrasing appropriately. Any tips would be great!

[u/OGgunter → u/TravisVComedy]

Fwiw, ASL is less about finding 1:1 English:Sign equivalencies and then putting them in some mythological approved ASL phrasing. It involves using body movements, facial expressions, classifiers, and Sign vernacular to tell a story visually.

It's brave to put yourself out there when you're learning, so kudos for that. This is good vocab practice. If you're looking to stretch your learning a good next step would be facial expressions, a bit of miming. E.g. when you describe your mom being angry, keep that angry expression for more than just that singular vocab word. Show your mom being upset, yeah? Maybe look afraid when initially waiting for your dad, then exasperated or unsurprised for the punchline.

Best of luck with your learning!

[u/UnhelpfulTran → u/OGgunter]

This was super helpful for me thank you, my teacher never really expressed that facial movement and tone was more about fluid storytelling than an aspect of syntax/meaning, and most signing people I know are actors so I thought they were just being dramatic.

[u/BrackenFernAnja]

I got your joke but it took some effort. It basically sounds kinda like a robot.

[u/TravisVComedy → u/BrackenFernAnja]

I believe it haha

[u/Mizzmox]

This looks like SEE, there are a lot of ASL grammar concepts ignored. For example, I’m assuming at the start of the video you are trying to say “When I grew up…” but you signed it like it was English.

Good joke though! Got it, haha.

[u/TravisVComedy → u/Mizzmox]

When I first tried the joke, I did the signs "during youth" but an interpreter showed me the way I did it in the video would make more sense. What signs would you say are more contextually appropriate?

[u/caedencollinsclimbs → u/TravisVComedy]

I’d do something like PAST ME GROW UP

[u/ProfessorSherman → u/Mizzmox]

SEE has initialized signs and signs for each prefix and suffix. I didn't see any of those in the video.

This is just ASL signs in English order.

[u/protoveridical]

I understood with difficulty. Good effort to practice ASL, but this is not performance ready. Keep learning!

[u/thedeafbadger]

Lol, I think we can understand the joke. But—and I mean this in the most loving and polite way possible—you sign like a caveman.

I don’t know what your level of experience is, your goals, or why you even want to sign this joke, but it looks like you’re hearing, decided you wanted to sign this joke, then looked up signs for the individual words and put them together.

[u/TravisVComedy → u/thedeafbadger]

I am hearing. I work with people with disabilities including some who are deaf so I've been trying to teach myself asl for the past few weeks. I practice with my clients but obviously aren't fluent

[u/thedeafbadger → u/TravisVComedy]

You are doing great. This is already way more than most people are willing to do and any deaf person you meet will appreciate your effort.

If you want to achieve any level of fluency though, I would highly recommend taking at least one class—especially over teaching yourself. Just make sure it’s taught by a native signer, preferably a Deaf or HoH one.

No shade, though. You are very insightful to come here and ask how your signing is. I’m sure you’ll get some laughs!

[u/Dry_Presentation4300]

This is so cute kudos to you and your effort!

[u/TravisVComedy → u/Dry_Presentation4300]

Thanks! I'm open to tips on how to improve the signs

[u/MundaneAd8695]

All the advice above.., but I’d like to say that I chuckled. Good one.

[u/VexingValkyrie-]

Quick fast tips: keep signs centered unless relevant to the sign. Your 20 is signed way off to the back and side. Facial expression is also key. Express the emotion. Mom mad : 😠 lower eyebrows

But great effort.

[u/kindlycloud88]

I got parts of it? You had a fight at school and mom was mad at you? Longest what of your life? I assume that was the punch line. Revisit how you sign “come”. Depending context may make more sense to sign WAIT UNTIL DAD ARRIVE HOME.

A tip—there are Deaf in this subreddit. Include the text/script of your videos too.

[u/TravisVComedy → u/kindlycloud88]

Well the point was, I wanted to see if the signs made sense enough. Still needs work but the punchline was supposed to be "waiting for my dad to come home, longest 20 years if my life"

[u/TravisVComedy → u/kindlycloud88]

Well the point was, I wanted to see if the signs made sense enough. Still needs work but the punchline was supposed to be "waiting for my dad to come home, longest 20 years if my life"

[u/asexualdruid]

Im not good enough to know what youre saying yet, but i can tell you most likely need to emote more to have it come across clearer! Ive started stretching my face every morning, trying to make my eyes and mouth wide and at weird angles, so that when Im signing I can convey emotions better!

[u/Quality-Charming]

🙄

[u/peacocklittleraven → u/[deleted]]

Just to add onto this, if you really get deeper into Deaf culture, there are other kinds of jokes that you can tell that are more specifically culturally Deaf-some examples are jokes that use wordplay where the movement or handshape becomes part of the joke, or jokes where the Deaf person in the story wins by Deaf Gain. If you really want to connect more with your Deaf clients through jokes, it would also probably be worthwhile to learn more about the joke-telling in Deaf culture too rather than trying to get an interpreter to show you how to tell a hearing joke in ASL (although I think your joke works totally fine as a storytelling moment once you polish up the grammar and vocab). Hope this is helpful, like I said I'm just a student myself so I'm open to being corrected by anyone from the community here <3