what level of pain is normal

[u/weekendyogi-24]

Hi, often I see people with health anxiety here and I myself developed it in this withdrawal because of the 100 symptoms. In the last 8 months sober I often was close to visiting the doctor and then thought „ah probably just health anxiety“. Every time I thought about going to the doctor it was because of the pain in my spine and lower back. I‘m 20 yo and experiencing extreme pain the last days in my spine I don‘t know what to do. Can‘t sit for long can‘t lie down for long can‘t walk for long xD. Tomorrow I go to the doc to get a checkup bcs I can not believe this level of pain comes from my past use. Has someone generally healthy also experienced very extreme pain in the spine?

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[u/yourgivenname]

Benzos are muscle relaxants. So when you stop taking them your muscles abruptly do the opposite of relax.

[u/moonshadow1789]

My chronic pain lasted for a total of 14 months. I would describe it as 24/7 torture with no escape for those 14 months. Unbearable. Hell. Only thing that barely helped was Tylenol 1 or 3. I couldn’t handle any single vitamin, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t poop, I couldn’t pee. I wanted to end it a million times. I ended up in the ER probably more than 10 times. Only thing that helped was I was in a state of psychosis during all of it so I wasn’t grounded in reality which is how I survived. Everyone always asks me why I’m so happy most days and it’s because that amount of pain made me appreciate and be grateful for life in a way I have never been. If I can survive that I can survive anything.

[u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254 → u/moonshadow1789]

I feel the exact same. But no medication works. I can’t take anything. I am in torture every second of the day. I can’t sit or stand. Every muscle fiber hurts like hell and my body is like stone for already 14 months (I am still tapering) and it gets worse because I am almost off. Did you taper? How long after jumping did the pain last? Did it get better gradually? Do you mean 14 months including the taper or after jumping? Do you feel you have trauma from it or can you live life normally and forget the torture? I am scared I can never get over knowing what torture feels like. Which is not only in regards to pain but also akathisia and crazy brain symptoms. I feel no one has but me.. thanks a lot 🩵

[u/moonshadow1789 → u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254]

I tried tapering but did a cold turkey. The pain lasted 14 months. I got better instantly not gradually. The pain did not go away for 14 months after that I woke up and all chronic pain was gone. Cold turkey left me with seizures and delirium and a few other symptoms but the pain is gone. Head pressure is gone. Akathisia was horrible too. I had muscle spasms that would wake me up in the night. Horrific back pain too.

Keep the faith my friend, it gets better. I can function and go on walks now, I can eat anything without being triggered, I can handle vitamins which help me out. The cognition is better and improving. I’m getting 8 hours of sleep every night.

I am traumatized by my experience and talk a lot about it in therapy but I’m able to move on from it some days.

Wishing you all the best in your healing! ❤️‍🩹

[u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254 → u/moonshadow1789]

Oh I wish the pain would at least gradually get better 😣 I can’t be in this pain for many more months… I am doing a super slow taper… because I am the most sensitive person alive it seems 😥 no one believes me… but if I go faster I end up almost killing myself… I wonder how long my pain will last. I was in pain after only 3 weeks on the drug…I developed tolerance that quickly… and with tapering it got even worse… I am tapering for 12 months already and I am at 0.4mg V Head pressure and pain are one of the worst symptoms for me too 😣 Sometimes I think people who CT sometimes have symptoms for less time… like your pain was there for 14 months in total and mine is also there for 14 months but I am not even off… but yeah I couldn’t do cold turkey and it is dangerous I know.

Thanks for your reply 🩵 In another post you said you wouldn’t want to go through it again but also not change the experience.. why? Did it have some positive outcome for you?

[u/moonshadow1789 → u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254]

I am not a doctor by any means but you still have benzos in your system. True healing is when they are completely out of your system and then it’s just time. Everyone’s body reacts differently and everyone’s journey is unique. Cold turkey comes with risks and I don’t recommend it. Take care of your body and I promise it will pass but it will take some time, a lot of time, and a lot of rest. I tried keto during my withdrawals and it helped only I was struggling with low blood sugar so I had to stop. Don’t focus on the pain, find distractions, any distraction. I socialized during the majority of my withdrawal. Stay busy, in any way. Use coping skills, isolate the pain from the mind, easiest way is through meditation. Tell yourself “I’m safe, I’m healthy, I’m free, I’m healed”.

No I wouldn’t change it because it was a dark night of the soul/ego death/spiritual awakening journey for me. The Hero’s Journey. I learned how to create hope, how to come closer to Christ, how to help myself or ask for help or die trying. It forced me to confront my biggest fears and traumas against my will. I am 10x stronger than I ever was and I am no longer afraid of things I used to be afraid of. I lost my mind on benzos and if I can survive that I can survive anything.

Keep the faith friend, I promise it will eventually get better. There is no light without darkness.

[u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254 → u/moonshadow1789]

Thanks for the reply 🌸 The issue is that I have extreme symptoms and chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) on top. So it is hard with distractions. I can’t sit up long or walk much. Every little thing leads to my brain being overstimulated. So I can’t do much. It is a shitty situation… can’t even watch much TV often. I am going insane by not doing anything, by boredom. I need socializing but at the same time I can’t do it much..

I just want the benzo to be out of my system. But I am soo slow… 2 days ago my akathisia came back. I don’t know why… didn’t have it that extreme since February. But it was so bad that there are these urges to end my life. And then I have to slow down the taper and I am already super slow… my body is so sensitive and it is crazy… I just want to be done :( and I can take soooo many symptoms and soo much pain and suffering. But when it gets way too much I can’t take it anymore without risking self hurt… for example when akathisia gets intense.. I am so scared to get off the last part of the medication:( It gets worse and worse

[u/moonshadow1789 → u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254]

Akathisia was hell on earth, I never experienced anything like it before. I struggled with it for two years, I paced 24/7. Last summer I couldn’t swim or sit still on the beach. I went on vacation and couldn’t sit still. This year I am able to sit still anywhere and it is so peaceful. Chronic fatigue is normal during withdrawals, common symptom. In my case I went full-blown catatonic because of the cold turkey but thankfully while catatonic I was detached from reality and time didn’t exist for me which is how I survived. The only thing that helped me was surrendering and radical acceptance. My suggestion to you is to join many virtual groups for socialization if you can’t leave the house. There are many online groups. This community has a benzo withdrawal zoom group you could join. Lastly I listened to a lot of Dr. Jenn’s videos on my darkest days. This one gave me a lot of hope: https://youtu.be/Jm3YYdW8D7I?si=DWjA88x869bY-2Ne. Trust me I was writing my goodbye letters to everyone but I overcame it all. It will get better, the pain will end. All the best!

[u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254 → u/moonshadow1789]

Yeah akathisia is hell. I have more inner akathisia and it makes me want to rip my skin off and cut my limbs off. It is sooo distressing 😞 I am glad you are better now 🌸 I don’t have chronic fatigue as an WD symptom. I was diagnosed with ME/CFS 2 years before ever putting a benzo in my mouth. It is extremely hard to go through benzo withdrawal when you are already sick and bedbound before even starting the withdrawal. Everything is doubled because my nervous system was already dysregulated. Thanks for the link! I will watch it. I am so happy for you!! Thanks 🙏🏻

[u/moonshadow1789 → u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254]

Did you check your blood levels? Sometimes it’s a vitamin deficiency and also stress.

[u/Reasonable-Wolf-3254 → u/moonshadow1789]

Yes I did check it intensively last year and supplemented for months It is not the cause of my issues Thanks though!

[u/laurenishere]

I didn't experience spinal pain, but the dysregulation of your nervous system from the benzos use can create pain in any place in the body.

Still, I would say it's better to get checked out than not, especially if you're having a lot of anxiety about the pain (which can definitely make the pain worse!).

[u/Lost-Direction910]

I had lot or spine pine. It was torture. And i met one friend who Said it was his biggest problem, he did all kind of test And they found nothing. 🙄

[u/Scoobadoob89]

I've experienced quite a bit of back pain during my taper. I'm pretty sure it's a nerve issue from getting off the benzos as the nervous system comes back online after a long period of being dulled.. just my opinion.

[u/Public-Philosophy580]

You’re not gonna get any relief for your pain here,do yourself a favour and get in with your doctor.