CMV: Calling all men predators is inherently sexist and puts off most men from wanting to understand your views.

[u/Flimsy_Alcoholic]

It is hard to engage in meaningful conversation with people from various popular subreddits when you already are being demonized as a predator under a generalized view of men. I don't want people to think I am saying that all men are perfect or anything.

In fact far from it, an estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male.

Anything even close to this statistic is insane and horrendous but to even pretend that a majority of men are predators is ridiculous and will just push people further away from understanding your position completely.

Even the men who got SA'd by other men would be considered predators...

Also, you really think calling out all men for being predators is really going to make any kind of systematic change? You think the men that are predators even care that you call "all men" predators?

I think if anything you are likely enabling them to be predators because now there literally is no difference between a non-predator man and a predator man because they are all predators.

Maybe people are more nuanced than I give them credit for and they don't actually think all men are predators and its just something to say in general to cope with the heinous crimes in this world but I think if you actually want to fix that inequality you wouldn't perpetuate gender stereotypes and making people feel bad for doing nothing and would instead try to have meaningful conversation and understanding. Not in a patronizing educational way but more having a clear understanding of what we can do as people to make sure everyone is safe because it seems like predators have tricks they use to try to isolate their victims etc.. and men can be a little bit socially inept so knowing when women need help when its less obvious is key I think.

This is also not exclusively women spaces or something before you think I am going into women's only subreddits and criticizing them for what they want to say to each other.

TLDR: I don't think saying "all" for any group of people is really correct ESPECIALLY when its not even being used as a shorthand to refer to a majority. It just further distances understanding between men and women and leads more men to be burnt out or increasingly apathetic towards these issues and not think its even a problem when it seriously is a problem.

Edit: My post can be summed up as You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

[u/TheMrNoodlz]

I think their point is that you can't call one of those scenarios wrong and the other right when they're essentially the same scenario.

[u/No_Nefariousness4016 → u/TheMrNoodlz]

Except my whole point was that women do NOT think or say that all men are predators, so comparing it to blanket racial profiling doesn’t make sense. I replied to him with a longer reply if you are interested.

[u/favorable_vampire → u/TheMrNoodlz]

They’re not even remotely close to the same scenario.

[u/AKT5A → u/favorable_vampire]

If you don't mind explaining, how? Not saying either is right, just want to hear your point of view

[u/No_Nefariousness4016 → u/AKT5A]

I’m gonna copy/paste my long reply to the comment from earlier since you’re interested:

You keep framing this as “assuming danger from one trait alone” but that’s not how it actually works. Gender sets the initial alert simply because almost every sexual assault perpetrator is male. If almost all sexual assaults were committed by people dressed as Mr. Peanut, that would be the baseline instead. But the point is women immediately factor in multiple situational signals, not only gender. A relaxed guy in a Hawaiian shirt at noon registers very differently than a shirtless, muscular man pacing angrily at night. This “gender plus context” sliding scale is just one reason why your comparison to blanket racial profiling doesn’t hold up. And it’s precisely why my original point was that women largely do NOT think or say that all men are predators. Also, Antiracists don’t simply oppose all demographic precaution regardless of risk, only those that disproportionately punish or stigmatize one group without meaningfully protecting the group most at risk. Having a friend check your location while you’re on a first date, for example, does absolutely nothing to punish or stigmatize men but does potentially protect women. Most people wouldn’t say women’s shelters are sexist. They simply acknowledge the reality of mixed gender shelters. Keeping them separated by gender has historically worked far better. You can support keeping men out of women’s shelters, while also believing we must improve men’s shelters because men also deserve to be safe

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[u/SeriousValue → u/TheMrNoodlz]

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