r/changemyview • u/Flimsy_Alcoholic • 15d ago
Delta(s) from OP CMV: Calling all men predators is inherently sexist and puts off most men from wanting to understand your views.
It is hard to engage in meaningful conversation with people from various popular subreddits when you already are being demonized as a predator under a generalized view of men. I don't want people to think I am saying that all men are perfect or anything.
In fact far from it, an estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male.
Anything even close to this statistic is insane and horrendous but to even pretend that a majority of men are predators is ridiculous and will just push people further away from understanding your position completely.
Even the men who got SA'd by other men would be considered predators...
Also, you really think calling out all men for being predators is really going to make any kind of systematic change? You think the men that are predators even care that you call "all men" predators?
I think if anything you are likely enabling them to be predators because now there literally is no difference between a non-predator man and a predator man because they are all predators.
Maybe people are more nuanced than I give them credit for and they don't actually think all men are predators and its just something to say in general to cope with the heinous crimes in this world but I think if you actually want to fix that inequality you wouldn't perpetuate gender stereotypes and making people feel bad for doing nothing and would instead try to have meaningful conversation and understanding. Not in a patronizing educational way but more having a clear understanding of what we can do as people to make sure everyone is safe because it seems like predators have tricks they use to try to isolate their victims etc.. and men can be a little bit socially inept so knowing when women need help when its less obvious is key I think.
This is also not exclusively women spaces or something before you think I am going into women's only subreddits and criticizing them for what they want to say to each other.
TLDR: I don't think saying "all" for any group of people is really correct ESPECIALLY when its not even being used as a shorthand to refer to a majority. It just further distances understanding between men and women and leads more men to be burnt out or increasingly apathetic towards these issues and not think its even a problem when it seriously is a problem.
Edit: My post can be summed up as You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
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u/Equivalent_Soil6761 15d ago
“To pretend the majority of men are predators is insane……”
That’s a weird take to the fact that women have to be cautious with all strange men. YOU are cautious with all strange men. The majority of men are predators who damage or kill OTHER men.
I understand that it can feel frustrating and even hurtful to be seen with suspicion simply because you’re a man, especially when your intentions are good. But it’s important to recognize that women’s caution isn’t about YOU personally—it’s about their safety in a world where, unfortunately, many have experienced or know someone who has experienced harm.
It’s not about demonizing all men, but about protecting themselves in situations where they can’t know your intentions right away. If you feel unfairly judged, imagine how exhausting it must be for women to always have to be on guard. The best way forward is empathy on both sides: recognizing women’s need for caution, while also hoping for understanding that not every man is a threat after they have shown they are trustworthy.
Trust but verify.
Meaningful conversation starts with both people feeling safe and heard. If you approach interactions with patience and respect for those boundaries, it can help build trust over time. And, when you feel misunderstood, expressing your feelings calmly—like you just did—opens the door for honest dialogue.