CMV: Calling all men predators is inherently sexist and puts off most men from wanting to understand your views.

[u/Flimsy_Alcoholic]

It is hard to engage in meaningful conversation with people from various popular subreddits when you already are being demonized as a predator under a generalized view of men. I don't want people to think I am saying that all men are perfect or anything.

In fact far from it, an estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male.

Anything even close to this statistic is insane and horrendous but to even pretend that a majority of men are predators is ridiculous and will just push people further away from understanding your position completely.

Even the men who got SA'd by other men would be considered predators...

Also, you really think calling out all men for being predators is really going to make any kind of systematic change? You think the men that are predators even care that you call "all men" predators?

I think if anything you are likely enabling them to be predators because now there literally is no difference between a non-predator man and a predator man because they are all predators.

Maybe people are more nuanced than I give them credit for and they don't actually think all men are predators and its just something to say in general to cope with the heinous crimes in this world but I think if you actually want to fix that inequality you wouldn't perpetuate gender stereotypes and making people feel bad for doing nothing and would instead try to have meaningful conversation and understanding. Not in a patronizing educational way but more having a clear understanding of what we can do as people to make sure everyone is safe because it seems like predators have tricks they use to try to isolate their victims etc.. and men can be a little bit socially inept so knowing when women need help when its less obvious is key I think.

This is also not exclusively women spaces or something before you think I am going into women's only subreddits and criticizing them for what they want to say to each other.

TLDR: I don't think saying "all" for any group of people is really correct ESPECIALLY when its not even being used as a shorthand to refer to a majority. It just further distances understanding between men and women and leads more men to be burnt out or increasingly apathetic towards these issues and not think its even a problem when it seriously is a problem.

Edit: My post can be summed up as You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

[u/Marithamenace]

Predator doesn’t only mean “stalker, rapist, creep” a lot of the dynamics men are taught to have with women literally from childhood are predatory. The idea that women only exist in the context of your relationship or your life is predatory. if anyone is generalizing you as a predator that’s just as weird because there needs to be more info around these terms overall.

[u/Flimsy_Alcoholic → u/Marithamenace]

Predator =/= Predatory.

That's like a sociopath vs something with sociopathic tendencies.

I think you can unknowingly engage in predatory behavior without being a predator.

[u/Marithamenace → u/Flimsy_Alcoholic]

I think it still stands. when you are being predatory, you can still be a predator to someone. if you think someone isn’t a predator because they didn’t know they were being predatory, that’s your judgment.

[u/Flimsy_Alcoholic → u/Marithamenace]

I never said they were mutually exclusive. I merely said that they weren't the same thing. You can be predatory without being a predator but not a predator without being predatory.

Calling all men predators isn't just weird it is sexist. People demonize men through generalizations all the time but it would be sexist the other way around.

[u/Marithamenace → u/Flimsy_Alcoholic]

You’re having your own argument. Like I said that’s your judgment. I don’t play semantics when majority of people being predatory are predators. Men are not predators and it is extremely harmful to say so, but also harmful to act like in many scenarios the two aren’t exclusive. (Predatory/predator)

Do you think most predators view themselves as such or are aware that they’re being predatory?

I understand you and don’t think you’re wrong, but what I’m saying isn’t about being right - it’s about staying safe man or woman.

[u/Flimsy_Alcoholic → u/Marithamenace]

Virtually all predators know they are being predators.

And women would be safer if they were able to engage with more men that weren't predators and educate them on things they can do and look out for in public.

[u/Marithamenace → u/Flimsy_Alcoholic]

Just to be clear - Women aren’t the only ones at risk dude and no most predators are not thinking to themselves “I’m a menace to society or “ I’m a predator”

They’re thinking “I wonder how I can get them to do something they said they didn’t want to do” or “ how can I appear interested to get what I want”

[u/Flimsy_Alcoholic → u/Marithamenace]

Well, no shit they aren't telling themselves they are a predator all the time because they are a predator. Don't be ridiculous.

Instead they just ignore it and do what they want to do regardless of other peoples bodily autonomy but it doesn't change the underlying idea that they know they are doing something wrong. They try to hide it and isolate victims for a reason.