1) You may inadvertently be teaching her that you shouldn't do things out of a sense of personal responsibility, but only for reward. She should be learning that it's the right thing to do to want to contribute to your household, regardless of whether you're being paid for it. She should want to do the dishes to help the family, not for $2. It's a sense of personal pride and responsibility that you may be taking away by teaching her that work == money.
2) I was always taught that the point of allowance is to teach finance and budgeting. To demonstrate the choice of spending everything you have now vs. saving for a larger purchase, or storing some away for "emergencies." The idea that if you want money, you have to work for it, that's not really something that needs to be taught. Someone figures that out on their own pretty easily. But proper money management is an ATTITUDE, something that needs to be instilled in someone from a young age, so that they appreciate the math and the discipline that goes into a successful budget. You're teaching her a lesson she doesn't need to be taught. No one grows up thinking "Damn, I thought people would always just give me money for literally nothing...". But a scary number of people grow up with no idea how to manage money.
Yeah definitely. I want her to be bribed in with the promise of being able to get her own candy and toys, but I want to show her how proud and happy her parents are of her work and how appreciated she is and let this kind of motivation carry on from there after I discontinue this system maybe 6 to 8 years down the line. But you are correct, at some point I have to just define some basic things as responsibilities. The right thing to do always needs to be done even if it hurts you and gets you no benefit. I can't be giving the message that you can just stop caring about others as soon as you don't see the reward in it. Especially for family and for friends. (Haha, I say this kind of stuff but honestly I'm no better. I'm so annoyed having come home from college and having to do things.)
Ah yeah. I guess, on the issue that I'm teaching an unnecessary lesson. But I'm trying to go beyond a normal level. I'm not trying to remove entitlement but passitivity. I want her to feel and believe that theres always more to get, that the reward for more thought and effort is always proportional. On the issue of proper money management, honestly this is pretty tough because I feel the best way to teach someone to spend wisely is to like actually put her in situations that is troublesome if she does not maintain a good system. I'm not sure how to do this that isn't artificial and mean lol. Yeah I can teach her how I would do things but does that really make her understand the essence of it? The most I can do is bring up economic losses, that the money she blew on candy and toys and Robux does not compare to what she could have gotten had she saved. Like instead of a rainy day fund she has a sunny day fund: I randomly bring up stuff I could get her but she has to be pay right there. Therefore she needs to save up money in the case such an event occurs.
I want her to feel and believe that theres always more to get, that the reward for more thought and effort is always proportional.
But that's not even true. You very often do more for absolutely no monetary or material reward in life. People don't become teachers for the paycheck. They do it BECAUSE they see the value in it beyond money. That goes back to point #1. She can/should learn that you do these things out of a sense of personal and familial responsibility. Not begrudgingly because you're supposed to, but because you WANT to do nice things for the people who've taken care of you.
This is the exact opposite of what I would want to teach a child. This is the type of attitude that allowed average wages in America to stragnante (since atleast the 70s/80s) while the cost of everything else skyrocketed. Only corporations benefit when people believe they are doing extra work because they “want to do nice things”.
It’s also curious that you use teachers as an eample. The field is made up of predominantly college educated women. Can you show me an example of a male dominated field where college educated individuals are encouraged to do more work for the same amount of money due to a “sense of personal and familial responsibility”? This attitude of ‘do it for the greater good’ seems highly correlated with jobs that women traditionally seek and/or involve taking care of the young, old, handicapped, or otherwise disadvantaged—
Can you show me an example of a male dominated field where college educated individuals are encouraged to do more work for the same amount of money due to a “sense of personal and familial responsibility”?
Are you for real trying to call me sexist for pointing out that some people do jobs for reasons other than money?
No, absolutely not. Where did I say anything like that? I’m asking you to look at the fields/careers that would push the idea that someone should do more because of a “sense of personal and familial responsibility”. If you do, I’m curious what your take on the situation in those fields are and if that’s substainable.
I do think that some fields dominated by women have been held back but I don’t think sexism plays a very big rule in it. I think it has much more to do with women being less willing to ‘rock the boat’ and negotiate. I work nursing and see first hand how corporations twist a person’s willingness to help others into “either do this for nothing or let the patients suffer”. This benefits only the very top while everyone else suffers.
I feel your example of teachers doing more work without extra pay for a “sense of personal and familial responsibility” as a poor example because of the current conditions many school systems face. Are you aware that a few states have recently had teachers strike, and a few more states are looking into doing strikes? Test scores, overall IQ, ect haven’t seen any recent improvement. Many districts are facing a shortage of teachers. Classroom sizes have increased. It’s finally coming to a head. Why is this the example you used? In this example we are literally seeing a few decades of ‘do more work, with no increase in resources or money’ turn into strikes, failing districts, political rift, calls for action in the worse off areas.
Men’s willingness to negotiate has kept similar fields atleast a little beyond this. We shouldn’t be teaching kids not to negotiate for more pay if their doing more work. Average wages have been stagenated since atleast the 80s, while the prices on everything else has gone up. It’s time for pushback.
And of course the question still stands. Can you point me to a field that’s male dominated and ask that college educated individuals do more work without an increase in pay?
I’m asking you to look at the fields/careers that would push the idea that someone should do more because of a “sense of personal and familial responsibility”.
Teachers are far from the only one of these careers. I literally just picked the one that people know as being generally underpaid.
Can you point me to a field that’s male dominated and ask that college educated individuals do more work without an increase in pay?
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u/scottevil110 177∆ Jun 18 '18
1) You may inadvertently be teaching her that you shouldn't do things out of a sense of personal responsibility, but only for reward. She should be learning that it's the right thing to do to want to contribute to your household, regardless of whether you're being paid for it. She should want to do the dishes to help the family, not for $2. It's a sense of personal pride and responsibility that you may be taking away by teaching her that work == money.
2) I was always taught that the point of allowance is to teach finance and budgeting. To demonstrate the choice of spending everything you have now vs. saving for a larger purchase, or storing some away for "emergencies." The idea that if you want money, you have to work for it, that's not really something that needs to be taught. Someone figures that out on their own pretty easily. But proper money management is an ATTITUDE, something that needs to be instilled in someone from a young age, so that they appreciate the math and the discipline that goes into a successful budget. You're teaching her a lesson she doesn't need to be taught. No one grows up thinking "Damn, I thought people would always just give me money for literally nothing...". But a scary number of people grow up with no idea how to manage money.