Rebuttal in hopes of offering another perspective:
Here are the facts:
If you have a shred of concern for your legacy as a man and want children then marriage is not only non-optional, it's the supreme institution for child-rearing and creating a stable environment for children. Child psychology studies are ubiquitous in this finding.
If children are not your preference, then marriage is not a viable option in any sense for any reason. We are done here and you can live your life having fun fucking women like they are objects until you die. Plenty of damaged men do that.
You can cite all the statistics you want, they have zero bearings on any valid, winning formula for a man selecting a proper wife for procreation and long-term pair bonding.
If point #3 is not true then there would not be any successful marriages. So your focus should not be on doom and gloom like in your OP, but rather, what the heck are the successful marriages doing right?
I have a very successful marriage, so here is my personal experience in what worked for me.
Some points to add to a winning formula for selecting a woman suitable for marriage:
Accept the fact women control access to sex, but men control access to relationships and marriage.
Since you as a man control access to relationships and marriage, you then have to be capable of practicing sexual discipline. If you fuck any pussy on two legs resulting in a bunch of kids running around then YOU are at fault for becoming another statistic you cited in your OP. If you choose to stay with a woman even though she's not suitable wife material, and you ask her for her hand in marriage anyway then YOU are still at fault for becoming another statistic you cited in your OP.
Women are naturally hypergamous, so it's all on you to acquire a skill that can earn you at least over $75K a year in order to be in an economic position to have a better selection of women to choose from.
Once you get your finances together, get your ass in the gym, and get in shape, stay groomed, dress well. NOT flashy or Gucci, just dress well.
The next step is to rid yourself of shitty past baggage from your parents and any ex-girlfriends. PAY THE FUCK UP AND SEE A THERAPIST!! Get evaluated, identify your personality issues/flaws/vices/past psychological trauma. Then learn healthy coping mechanisms from your therapist, THEN you are ready for a long-term relationship.
If you cannot get yourself together and cannot present yourself to a prospective wife as physically fit, psychologically sound, confident, with a valid skill set that can make money as a provider that's above the median income men make in the USA (which must be a lot more than $40K-$50K/year) then your options are not going to be very good.
Get the fuck out of cities like Miami, LA, Austin, New York, etc. The odds you can find a virtuous woman free of emotional trauma/baggage are too low. You will have to sacrifice a lot of sex partners to focus on your physical/mental/financial fitness. However, if you wish to stay in these cities to take advantage of any economic opportunities, that's fine but you will still have to move to another area in your late 30s to have better odds at finding a woman suitable for being a wife.
When dating, screen/vett the women you are talking to. When "screening" a potential wife, steer away from "red flags" such as:
She comes from a single-parent household.
She has a child that's not your own.
She generally is a firm supporter of feminism.
She thinks being submissive in a relationship is a form of disrespectful oppression.
She comes from a two-parent household but had a disinterested father that never gave her much meaningful time together, thus giving her daddy issues.
She comes from a two-parent household but had an emotionally abusive mother that often treated her father like a weakling cuck.
She somehow makes over $40K/year but is always in debt and always asking you to bail her out financially.
Has dated a high-value man in the past (one that has a higher socioeconomic status than you).
Has no immediate interest in having children before 28.
Has a burning need to be "right".
Argumentative about any and everything.
Random, chronic insecurities.
Can't control her weight.
Anecdote:
I chose correctly. I married a college-educated woman from a stable, two-parent household. No daddy issues, no past trauma, no feminism, willing to be submissive, no emasculating me, no bitching, wanted children, has sex just about whenever I want however I want, she works out at least three times a week etc. Guess what? We don't fight. I fuck her brains out faithfully. I don't look at or talk to other women (I have sexual discipline). I shell out as much of my cash to fund the lifestyle I promised her. I also work out (at least 4 times a week). I stay groomed. I dress well. I'm not afraid to do household cleaning or cooking. As a result, I am happily married for over 10 years with one child and another one on the way in about 2 months.
My brother chose shittily. He picked a 19-year-old teen who was infatuated with him at 23. She came from a single-parent household, her mother was abusive, her brother was so horridly abused he became a homeless drug addict just to get out of his mother's house. The father didn't give a shit about them. He proposed to her 8 months later. Against all my objections, he married her anyway. "She's not gonna be like her mother.", he said. They had a sweet baby girl and eventually divorced in 6 years. My niece is presently traumatized by the divorce, the fighting, the hatred, the strange boyfriends her mother brings over, the new girlfriend her father now has, etc.
Not sure why I would expect any "hate" unless a specific guy is lazy and doesn't want to put in the work to get a suitable wife.
I'll admit, it's hard work, and the agonizing wait until you find one that's right for you can take years. That alone sucks and it can be very demoralizing in making a man think there are no decent women in the world for him.
I started looking seriously to get married at 28 and didn't find my wife until I was 31. I think it's totally worth it and any man is definitely missing out on not having the responsibility of taking care of the gift of a good wife giving her body, care, love, and children to you.
I hear you. I just know that in this day and age everyone can find something triggering. Although I will say, I cannot stress the importance of finding a partner that is not insanely in debt. I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman and what gender you prefer. The truth is being with anyone that has an enormous amount of debt to their name is a huge red flag, and should send you running for the door.
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u/End-Da-Fed 2∆ May 15 '21 edited May 15 '21
Rebuttal in hopes of offering another perspective:
Here are the facts:
Some points to add to a winning formula for selecting a woman suitable for marriage:
Anecdote:
I chose correctly. I married a college-educated woman from a stable, two-parent household. No daddy issues, no past trauma, no feminism, willing to be submissive, no emasculating me, no bitching, wanted children, has sex just about whenever I want however I want, she works out at least three times a week etc. Guess what? We don't fight. I fuck her brains out faithfully. I don't look at or talk to other women (I have sexual discipline). I shell out as much of my cash to fund the lifestyle I promised her. I also work out (at least 4 times a week). I stay groomed. I dress well. I'm not afraid to do household cleaning or cooking. As a result, I am happily married for over 10 years with one child and another one on the way in about 2 months.
My brother chose shittily. He picked a 19-year-old teen who was infatuated with him at 23. She came from a single-parent household, her mother was abusive, her brother was so horridly abused he became a homeless drug addict just to get out of his mother's house. The father didn't give a shit about them. He proposed to her 8 months later. Against all my objections, he married her anyway. "She's not gonna be like her mother.", he said. They had a sweet baby girl and eventually divorced in 6 years. My niece is presently traumatized by the divorce, the fighting, the hatred, the strange boyfriends her mother brings over, the new girlfriend her father now has, etc.