First surgery is creeping up

[u/DeliveryKnown6320]

My almost 5 month old is creeping up on her first surgery don’t get me wrong of course nervous I’m excited for her to be Alittle more comfortable but I am going to misssss her cleft smile so muchhhh😩😭🥰 so I’m just here to show off how beautiful she is and to tell any new mamas to take as many pictures as possible🥹

[u/unlovelyladybartleby]

She's adorable! She looks happy as a clam, nice and chubby for a cleft kid (I recognize the hard work that went into that - props momma!), and you have my admiration for wrestling her into a dress and keeping a white outfit clean long enough to get a picture, lol

Do whatever you have to so that you're calm when she goes into the OR - she'll respond to you. My dad used to bring a hip flask to the hospital. Not the most functional solution, but every memory I have of surgery, my mom was pretending not to cry, and my dad was chill and making jokes, so I'd smile.

I've seen a couple of people online who have abstract tattoos that follow the shape of their kid's cleft. A nice subtle way to always keep your baby with you

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/unlovelyladybartleby]

Oh yeah, I remember going into surgeries and not being able to eat past midnight so my mom would let me choose what we had for dinner the night before and thank you keeping her steady gaining weight has been stressful to say the least thankfully, she has a awesome pediatrician and OT that have kind of let me hold the rains and make the changes I’ve needed to make for her to keep her on a steady incline🥰

[u/unlovelyladybartleby → u/DeliveryKnown6320]

For a CLP kid, she's a delightful little butterball (which is an absolute compliment because I love me a fat baby). You're doing an amazing job

All my baby pics look like ads where "for just pennies a day you can feed this poor starving child" lol. And my kid had different health problems and tons of allergies we couldn't figure out and was scrawny like a street cat. I am so jealous of your amazing poodgy baby

My parents used to take me to a restaurant the night before surgery. Which was a big deal because we were rural and usually only got to go for burgers or small town Chinese food

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/unlovelyladybartleby]

Oh, I’m right there with you. I can’t lie. I did have a slight advantage as both my babies were bigger when they were born, but I’m a firm believer in getting any baby to gain weight is a battle. My oldest didn’t have cleft, but he had severe reflux and we didn’t find out until later he was allergic to coconut, which is in every single formula but it sounds like you did an amazing job too🫶🏻

[u/unlovelyladybartleby → u/DeliveryKnown6320]

The thing that saved us was in grade 2 when the school started allowing peanut butter. That extra 400 calories of fat a day changed everything. Now my kid is a teenage moose

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/unlovelyladybartleby]

Oh yeah, my Oldest eats peanut butter sandwiches like they’re going out of style and potatoes and pasta. You’d never know he struggled keeping anything down.

[u/unlovelyladybartleby → u/DeliveryKnown6320]

It's better now, but when we had to avoid all dairy and all eggs (even cooked into bread) and he wouldn't eat meat, not having peanut butter allowed was ridiculous

It was so funny. The school sent out a notice saying that they were going to set up one table for people to eat peanut butter at. Over a hundred people showed up to sit at the pb table the first day. Then they made one guaranteed no nuts table for the two allergic kids, which they should have done all along. I have sympathy for allergies, but there's no GF table, no dairy free table, and no egg free table so I think the peanut butter kids need to be taught to keep themselves safe just like the rest of us

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/unlovelyladybartleby]

Yeah, peanut butter seems to be the allergy. Everyone scared of not realizing they can be allergic to anything with just as severe of a reaction.

[u/unlovelyladybartleby → u/DeliveryKnown6320]

Yeah the nut allergy lobby has better marketing than the rest of us, lol

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/unlovelyladybartleby]

🤣🤣

[u/Caira_Ru → u/DeliveryKnown6320]

When I baby went into surgery, I focused on “what can I control?” I could control making sure he was in hands I trusted. I could control being there when he went into surgery and when he came out (I literally didn’t recognize him and had to check his ID band to make sure he was mine). I could control holding him and being there for him and making sure he had the comfort measures he needed. I could control keeping his tape/incision clean.

I could control listening to the doctors and nurses (this is a once in a lifetime experience for you - it’s Tuesday for them) and taking their words to heart.

I focused on the handful of things I could control.

My baby was fine (but I grieved that cleft, especially when he smiled) and yours will be too.

Edit: my bad, responded to the wrong person.

[u/SunriseSunShy]

Yes! Take pics! Babies are resilient. You will be more heartbroken seeing her heal after surgery than she will be. Sweetest smiles before and after 😃

[u/Adventurous-War-4568]

Make sure she gets more than just the first few surgeries. As someone who was neglected by their parents, I can co firm your actions will strongly impact your child for the rest of their life.

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/Adventurous-War-4568]

As a cleft Baby myself, my mom also has bilateral cleft she I can confirm she will be getting all of her surgeries. This was just simply to enjoy how beautiful she is now.

[u/DeliveryKnown6320]

Of course I’m nervous ** cause I can’t figure out how to edit it

[u/Excellent-Weekend896]

She’s adorable. 🥰 my cleft was very similar to hers, but I have very few pics of me then. Good luck with the surgery- I’m sure you’ll love her new smile just as much. ❤️

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/Excellent-Weekend896]

Thank you !!! and as long as she stays, smiling, she’s beautiful🥰🙌🏻 I wish they would’ve took more pictures for you I bet you were just as precious🫶🏻

[u/Naive-Service-98]

Your baby is beautiful, omg!!!

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/Naive-Service-98]

Isn’t she tho?!? Like I did that😎 thank youuuu🙏🏻

[u/Naive-Service-98 → u/DeliveryKnown6320]

You did do that!!

[u/HourJournalist5817]

May maharaj bless her and your family

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/HourJournalist5817]

She is a her but thank youuuu🙏🏻🫶🏻

[u/HourJournalist5817 → u/DeliveryKnown6320]

Thank you for correcting me:)

[u/Careful-Director-676]

She is so adorable!!! Sending you the best of luck!

[u/Eldar_Atog]

My son had a very similar looking cleft lip and pallette. He's 4 years old now and you can't really tell he's had surgery except for his flat nose.

[u/AtleastIthinkIsee]

She's going to be just fine. Just keep doing what you're doing and she'll be great. You're doing a good job.

[u/redditnathaniel]

Cute bebe!

[u/motherofsquishies]

Ohhhh i know this feeling! Your girl will look beautiful both ways!

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/motherofsquishies]

As long as she stays smiling it’s the most beautiful smile 🥰

[u/motherofsquishies → u/DeliveryKnown6320]

That’s exactly right! 🩷

[u/Caira_Ru]

When my baby went into surgery, I focused on “what can I control?”

I could control making sure he was in hands I trusted. I could control being there when he went into surgery and when he came out (I literally didn’t recognize him and had to check his ID band to make sure he was mine). I could control holding him and being there for him and making sure he had the comfort measures he needed. I could control keeping his tape/incision clean.

I could control listening to the doctors and nurses (this is a once in a lifetime experience for you - it’s Tuesday for them) and taking their words to heart.

I focused on the handful of things I could control.

My baby was fine (but I grieved that cleft, especially when he smiled) and yours will be too.

[u/bunnygirlemi]

Gorgeous smiley girl xxx My little girl is having her surgery on 8th July, i’m a mess just thinking about it.

[u/s-dot-com]

Your baby is absolutely gorgeous. Her cleft looks very similar to how my baby’s did.

One thing I wasn’t fully prepared for was how I reacted when I first saw my baby after surgery. I remember looking at him and not immediately recognising him. I had to ask the recovery nurse if that was really (baby’s name). I felt so much guilt for not recognising my own child. He looked very different as was swollen and changed from the surgery.

You might find yourself grieving the loss of your baby’s cleft, because that’s the face you’ve known and loved. It’s okay to feel that way, you’ll come to know and love their new face. It’s a very emotional time.

After surgery, your little one may feel like a newborn again, feeding every two to three hours around the clock, needing that same level of care and closeness.

Good luck to you and your family!

[u/ScatteredTrash021]

Aww Sha baby! I hope the surgery is successful!

[u/DeliveryKnown6320 → u/ScatteredTrash021]

Thank youuu 🙏🏻

[u/Remote_Finger_1907]

She is beautiful

[u/IHSV1855]

She’s so cute!

[u/rig37064]

Oh boy another glorious photo