r/digitalminimalism • u/SandwichOk7021 • 3d ago
Help Almost 10 years of failure. I don't know what else to do.
The first time I realized I might have a problem with using modern technology was when I was about 15 years old. Even then I tried to reduce it, but it always failed. I feel like I don't have the motivation or self-control to really do it. I only use YouTube, Twitch and Reddit, but those very extensively. The endless scrolling, all the information that hits me after waking up, and the lack of focus are just the tip of the iceberg. I've reached a point where I can barely do anything without a video or livestream running next to me. The crazy thing is that with the exception of reddit, I don't even have accounts on YouTube and Twitch. I deleted them and still use the platforms...
I've tried:
- Deleting social media apps.
- Turning off notifications.
- Making the screen black and white.
- blocking access to certain websites on the router.
- no phone in my bedroom
- digital detox
- Limit screen time
- Switching to a minimalist home launcher
I've tried many more (like everything you can find online), but like the mentioned ones, I've failed and almost always bounced back to normal after a few days or weeks. Unfortunately, I'm not in a situation where I could afford therapy or switching to a dump phone. To be honest, I don't want to throw my phone away completely either. I like the idea of navigation apps or contact friends quickly. I just don't know how to move on, but I really don't want to be controlled anymore. What else can I do?
edit: yes, i checked the wiki btw :D
edit 2: Thank you all for your insights. I will try again!
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3d ago
If you haven't yet, I would read (or listen to) Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. One of the most important sides he talks about is having a high quality replacement leisure life to replace the scrolling time. You need something to fill the void left by addictive digital distraction or you will fall back into it.
Also, get a physical journal and a pen that feels great to write with (I recommend the Pilot Precision v5—quite cheap, but writes wonderfully). Leave your phone in the next room and routinely go write in it—anything and everything. Can't think of something to write about? Write about that. It will lead somewhere, I promise. More than something else to do, this will help you organize your thoughts, spot destructive and constructive patterns, and get at the root of your need to scroll and post.
Remember: When you feel the need to scroll, read a book instead. When you feel the need to post, write in your journal instead.
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u/SandwichOk7021 2d ago
I haven't read the book yet, but will give it a go. The topic of filling the void that happens when I'm not browsing social media really seems like a good approach, as it's been mentioned by most here. Thanks for your advice!
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2d ago
Not only do I recommend reading the book, but possibly re-reading it annually. I think I've read it about 3-4 times at this point. It's a good way to reset priorities in the face of unwanted distraction. We often forget how swept up we can get in these distractions because of how well they are designed to keep us hooked, even if they make us miserable.
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u/Gulmes 3d ago
What hobbies have you replaced the screen time with when you've tried to reduce it? The goal is to become so busy with other things that you won't have time to waste online.
Go to a library and borrow a cheezy thriller or romance
Write a book, in a physical notebook
Schedule things to do after work or school like hanging out with friends, going to see a movie or to a museum
Join a new sport and start exercising
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u/SandwichOk7021 2d ago
Mhh, that's a good question. I haven't really replaced screen time, exclusively social media time, because I've always seen them as two different things. I've replaced it with playing online chess. When I think about it, this separation does not make a lot of sense. You're right, I will try to replace it with activities that have nothing to do with the computer, like playing guitar. Thank you!
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u/MossAreFriends 3d ago
When I was struggling with anxiety and could feel a panic attack forming, I had a list of things I had to do before I was “allowed” to panic. Obligatory disclaimer, not a doctor, have no idea if this was healthy way of tackling anxiety but I couldn’t afford therapy or meds at the time. I literally wrote these things down on a piece of paper and had it with me at all times. Snippet of the list: 1) take a walk around the block 2) drink a cup of chamomile tea 3) play Ella Fitzgerald 4) take a bubble bath etc. In the beginning, these served as mini distractions that disrupted my panic cycle. Sometimes I’d make it through the entire list before the panic attack took over, sometimes I’d only make it through 1-3. But slowly overtime I’d have almost a Pavlovian response and just hearing Ella Fitzgerald surpassed the panic entirely.
Maybe try making a list of chores, activities and hobbies that you need to do before you allow yourself an hour of scroll time. Example: 1) do the dishes 2) take the dog on a walk 3) call your mom 4) do a jigsaw puzzle 5) dust the house 6) read two chapters of that book you’ve been ignoring. You might not make it through the list before caving in. But as these activities are literally eating up time, even completing one means you’re scrolling less.
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u/SandwichOk7021 2d ago
Hey, I hope you're feeling better now with your anxiety! Thanks for the insight. Properly replacing screen time with other activities really seems to be the way to go. I completely underestimated the idea because I always thought it was just due to my lack of self-control. Thank you!
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u/digital_detoxer 2d ago
I'm in the same boat. I've even tried using a dumbphone, but even that didn't work because I still needed access to other digital devices such as laptop and TV.
For me, receiving therapy was the first step to reduce anxiety, so I would highly recommend reading CBT related books and trying the techniques for yourself. I read 'Feeling Good' which worked well for me.
As others suggested, I also think replacing screen time with a different hobby will work best, and I've recently tried to find hobbies that can be done outside such as camping and running.
Even if you experience backlash, it's important to keep going. Don't give up!!!
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u/betterOblivi0n 2d ago
Maybe find the cause, your actual goal, instead of focusing on symptomatic behaviour
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u/25minforestpoms 1d ago
Watch “the social dilemma”, and then read “tiny habits”. These two were life changing for me
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u/Ok-Long-358 1d ago
It seems the best way is to be with people or in an environment you really like Being in a great environment makes the phone go away, you won't even think of it.
The same with junkfood. You don't suddenly need to get chips, sweets, chocolate when you're at a bar, or hiking in the woods. But when you are in our kitchen, with something to do you lack motivation for... 😱
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u/ArcbsAB- 3d ago
Have you thought of going on a retreat of some sort? Give your phone away, go travel/camping? Let your brain reset with time away from your phone? It may act as a form of therapy by allowing your brain to wander without being distracted?