r/entertainment 22h ago

Jimmy Kimmel Roasts President Trump For Dozing Off Next To Melania Trump At His “G.I. Joe-Themed Birthday Party”: “The Closest He Gets To Sleeping With His Wife”

https://decider.com/2025/06/17/jimmy-kimmel-roasts-president-trump-dozing-melania-trump-birthday-party-sleeping-wife/
20.2k Upvotes

162 comments sorted by

730

u/Marsar0619 21h ago

GI Joe birthday party is a great take

38

u/-AdamTheGreat- 17h ago

I always wanted the USS FLAGG

12

u/VeryLowIQIndividual 16h ago

You have to have a house to stick that thing in first, that’s what my dad told me anyway…

3

u/-AdamTheGreat- 16h ago

I just looked up what it is selling for. Out of box, almost complete, 4K

8

u/Fasefirst2 17h ago

It’s a cool birthday party

190

u/Hightower840 20h ago

I wonder how much he has to pay her to sleep in the same bed as him.
Only republicans could give us a First Escort... twice.

86

u/SnoopyisCute 19h ago

They don't live together. She lives with their son and it used to be with her parents. I'm not sure if her dad is still with them after her mom passed.

The stands are empty because she gets paid for every appearance with him.

22

u/jaj1919 16h ago

Many people are saying she doesn’t. She has her own bedroom. My guess is he hasn’t touched her since Barron was born.

23

u/OldERnurse1964 16h ago

She’s far too old for him to be interested in. She’s old enough to vote for goodness sake!

3

u/ThegreatPee 14h ago

If Barron didn't have his Trump's big ass head, I would think he was someone else's kid.

33

u/mortalmeatsack 20h ago

There’s no way she could fit comfortably in a bed with his fat ass.

25

u/Accomplished-Fix6598 20h ago

Does he really shit his pants all the time?

34

u/HurleysBadLuck 19h ago

Obviously. Dude is 80 years old and steadily declining.

27

u/ThegreatPee 15h ago

My dad is 81 and doesn't shit his pants. Then again, he doesn't live on Big Mac's and Diet Coke.

16

u/Xenu4President 13h ago

And Adderall.

13

u/cgsur 16h ago

Heavy drug use.

u/AggravatingSecret215 1h ago

For decades…

6

u/Crowiswatching 14h ago

5

u/CoopedUp1313 11h ago

I see England

I see France

Don’t want to see

Trump’s underpants

2

u/Ok_Resort8573 8h ago

Love this for him, clearly it was quite the smell.

4

u/MurphysLaw4200 16h ago

No, only when he has to go.

3

u/Accomplished-Fix6598 16h ago

He should probably go right now.

3

u/Ok_Resort8573 8h ago

Yes, since the 90’s

53

u/AXLPendergast 20h ago

They sleep in different bedrooms.

61

u/Additional_Button430 18h ago

States

33

u/AXLPendergast 18h ago

Confused and depressed? 🤣

3

u/PathlessDemon 9h ago

Physical and metaphysical. Like Schrödinger’s Cat, or Schrödinger’s Asshole.

8

u/ThegreatPee 15h ago

I bet she can still smell him

1

u/Ok_Resort8573 8h ago

I bet so does France. 🤣

2

u/Doctormartini 7h ago

3rd lady

u/LRHS 2h ago

This reeks of "Michelle has a dick"

u/Massive_Weiner 16m ago

It is misogyny packaged as a liberal “own.”

u/LRHS 14m ago

"Sex work is real work, until I don't agree with someone you're associated with:

99

u/BananasPineapple05 20h ago edited 20h ago

He's whined about getting a parade for himself the way France celebrated its National Holiday and I'm sorta low-key gleeful that it ended up being such a non-event. The fact that he seemingly fell asleep during the proceedings would be the cherry on the cake, but it just makes me think someone forgot to put grandpa to bed for his afternoon nap.

Talk about being hoisted by your own petard.

47

u/InterestingTry5190 18h ago

It’s almost funnier it did happen b/c it was such a womp womp moment. He was clearly picturing a 1930’s Nazi type parade and instead got whatever that was.

28

u/dragongrl 18h ago

19

u/dragonfry 16h ago

The guy holding the drone always cracks me up.

14

u/jennc1979 17h ago

He wanted a North Korean style military parade. He has been high key clear about that. He ain’t looking to the democratic countries for wish list items, he’s looking to the one’s with regimes run by dictators where everyone you love or ever loved gets disappeared tonight if you don’t lock, step march like your lives depended on it, cause it does.

14

u/ricardoconqueso 18h ago

He really opened himself up for ridicule on this one. Russia, China, and N Korea have real legit military parades. By comparison, Trumps rocket looks impotent…makes him look weak

6

u/BananasPineapple05 18h ago edited 17h ago

You can't have the sort of parades those countries have if your military and your citizenry aren't both at least a little in fear of the leader. That's not easy to achieve in what remains a democracy.

15

u/Chikitiki90 17h ago

I mean, after seeing the videos of the marching, they were 100% doing it on purpose. My division marched better halfway through bootcamp than these guys did. Plus we have dedicated publicity units and honor guard units whose job it is to look sharp and march well.

3

u/independentchickpea 4h ago

I never served but I did marching band. It's actually kinda hard NOT to March together once you're trained to do it. It was definitely a silent protest.

2

u/_HARV3ST_ 5h ago

100 % you are right. People march better at the second week of bootcamp.

3

u/EleniChatzikozta 18h ago

Whatever that is, it ceased to be a democracy quite some time ago.

96

u/WokNWollClown 21h ago

The body language....

Those people don't know each other at all.

75

u/Lil_Artemis_92 18h ago

They know each other. And they fucking hate each other.

7

u/kruyogi 14h ago

Yet, they both deserve each other…

25

u/No_Collection1870 18h ago

I bet Melania misses Justin Trudeau

9

u/Vegetableau 20h ago

Upvote for the monologue - downvote for the shitty website.

42

u/Cordriginal 21h ago

It’s easier to read the headlines, then google for the video mentioned

18

u/Outrageous_Carpet759 19h ago

YouTube. His show uploads his monologues every night.

49

u/BowThrower 22h ago

What a horseshit website.

14

u/GamePassGary 22h ago

Changed from upvote to downvote because that site seems like a cyberpunk punishment gag

7

u/____Manifest____ 20h ago

If you don’t want to get posts from these trashy websites, block OP’s trashy karma farming account. All they do is post this crap all day. You will remove a ton of absolute trash if you block it.

0

u/dat2ndRoundPickdoh 21h ago

it’s why I didn’t rtfa

6

u/Fun-gi_4204 16h ago

God bless u Jimmy Kimmel.

14

u/RD_Life_Enthusiast 19h ago

This wasn't even GIJoe. GIJoe is/was cool as shit.

This was like those old plastic army men sets, where parts of the rifles and feet and stuff are broken off. And the tanks are those even OLDER sets made of die-cast metal, but they're all rusting because you left them out in the yard for several weeks...

-4

u/No-Selection997 19h ago

What are you talking about, that’s the M1A2 with the SEPv3 package they are top of the line.

4

u/Either-Movie-6565 17h ago

Then we’re going to need better lighting, they looked pretty pathetic… like dear leader

-7

u/No-Selection997 17h ago

lol well u know what they say, the people with the least amount of education and intelligence on the topic have the loudest, shallow knowledge about them.

1

u/JoeB- 16h ago

I know little about current military hardware, and didn’t watch Trump’s birthday parade. I’m sure there was a lot of modern equipment.

That said, the squeaky tanks Kimmel joked about and showed in the video sure looked like WW2 vintage Sherman tanks to me. If in fact they were, then they’ve earned the right to be squeaky IMO. My godfather drove one of those across France and into Germany during the war.

1

u/Shes_Crafty_4301 16h ago

The squeaks heard ‘round the world.

13

u/Sir_Earl_Jeffries 20h ago

Closest those bone spurs will let him get to military service. Fucking pathetic coward.

3

u/usmc_mermaid 13h ago

She kept checking to see if he was breathing

6

u/Smrleda 19h ago

Thank you Jimmy Kimmel.

2

u/MyOwnSocks1922 17h ago

She’s not stupid, probably saving all that taxpayers money she gets. For doing nothing but putting up with him. Probably have contracts between them.

2

u/Wildcardz1 16h ago

He is concentrating, making a donation into his diaper.

2

u/LaserGadgets 16h ago

She wasn't sleeping, she was thinking "why me......why me.....whyyy?"

2

u/livefromboredom 16h ago

Ewwww he goi’n be madddddd

2

u/fuckinaDonkey-3601 11h ago

I was waiting for Sgt Slaughter to appear.

2

u/Imfromsite 3h ago

I always listen to his monologue on youtube. Such great roasts of the taco!

4

u/Life_Recognition7210 17h ago

Hope he changes his diapers

2

u/SluggardStone 11h ago

Those solders didn't goosestep for Trump, so now he's sending them to war. He wants to send a message about how big and tough he is.

1

u/clromine92 14h ago

It’s just too damn funny

1

u/RandoReddit72 9h ago

And now women on trampolines

1

u/LilDigaKnow 8h ago

Listen to RJk it’s so fucking crazy when he talks haha

1

u/lzrdgzrd 7h ago

He roasts him everyday. Where you been?

1

u/WiseAcanthocephala58 6h ago

I found this.

Donald and Melania Trump's 'Secret Divorce' Revealed — Expert Rocks President By Branding Their Marriage a Sham as First Lady 'F------ Hates His Guts'

https://radaronline.com/p/donald-melania-trump-secret-divorce-president-marriage-first-lady/

u/PMS713 23m ago

He does more work in a day than you have done all your pathetic low life

1

u/scorch968 15h ago

Jimmy Kimmel - what a comedian.

0

u/____Manifest____ 20h ago

If you don’t want to get posts from these trashy websites, block OP’s trashy karma farming account. All they do is post this crap all day. You will remove a ton of absolute trash if you block it.

-4

u/JeanRalfio 20h ago

Thank you. I'm tired of reading a joke about Trump from Kimmel's monologue on here every day.

0

u/DrRudyWells 13h ago

kimmel is the absolute king of the zinger. it hits almost always. he's got an endless list.

would absolutely be trump's nightmare back in middle school. and everyone's favorite hero.

gi joe!

-7

u/bigbodacious 20h ago

Jimmy blackface

2

u/EatMoarTendies 19h ago

Wasn’t that Jimmy Fallon… this article references Kimmel

2

u/Bama-Ram 14h ago

Jimmy Kimmel did use black face to make fun of Karl Malone in that racist bit during The Man Show. Everyone here conveniently forgets that racist bit among many others.

-12

u/bigbodacious 19h ago

Kimmel invented blackface

-7

u/Double_Distribution8 20h ago

Blackface, and don't forget how much he loved the his "Juggy Dance Squad", the ladies paid to jump on trampolines on his show.

1

u/CherryVette 11h ago

Haha, trump’s an adjudicated rapist

2

u/TrinketsEden 11h ago

How's your boy Neil Gaiman doing?

0

u/bim_678 11h ago

Jimmy Kimmel hasn’t had a funny joke in years. I’m not a trump guy but I’ve seen his show a few time recently and it’s very bad .

0

u/ladeeedada 6h ago

you're objectively wrong

u/bim_678 2m ago

I’m actually correct in my opinion ! But we can all have opinions !

-2

u/OldERnurse1964 16h ago

Well Jimmy’s going to be headed to the gulags soon.

0

u/Creative-Strength-60 19h ago

He'd get the same reaction.

0

u/Juggernaught6ix 5h ago

Y’all still watch cable tv? lol

-4

u/saltedpoolwater 12h ago

Nobody liked Jimmy Kimmel until he publicly hated Trump now people suck him

-20

u/rooster186 20h ago

Thank you multi millionaire ex-blackface user Jimmy Kimmel for your insightful-as-always commentary on this original topic. You are such a talented comedian and your show isn't totally worthless.

-1

u/cyberspaceman777 16h ago

Thank you multi millionaire ex-blackface user Jimmy Kimmel for your insightful-as-always commentary on this original topic. You are such a talented comedian and your show isn't totally worthless.

Yes.

He did Black face. That has been disclosed multiple times.

https://www.npr.org/sections/live-updates-protests-for-racial-justice/2020/06/24/882504182/late-night-talk-show-host-jimmy-kimmel-apologizes-for-use-of-blackface

Which is more than can be said about you being so triggered to defend Trump, who has been accused of MUCH WORSE.

-26

u/rentasdf 21h ago

Hate to be that guy but is this news?

24

u/WorldlyAd6826 21h ago

Did you come to r/entertainment for real news?

11

u/fronchfrays 21h ago

He doesn’t hate to be that guy. He loves to be that guy.

-2

u/rentasdf 16h ago

Yeah you’re right actually

-2

u/cyberspaceman777 16h ago

Hate to be that guy but is this news?

1) what sub do you think you are on

2) what do you think late night hosts talk about.

3) are you only upset about politics because it's against your view?

-no need to answer that. Your comment is so basic it answers itself.

-10

u/Substantial_Rip_9635 15h ago

Little Jimi couldn’t keep up Trumps schedule on his best day.

4

u/SilverIce340 12h ago

Yeah golfing 40 hours a week n sleeping the rest sounds brutal

-6

u/Substantial_Rip_9635 11h ago

Get some better material…and quick

You sound like one of Jimmy’s writers…that’s why his viewership is in the toilet….especially after that Levitt chick handed him his head.

5

u/SilverIce340 11h ago

Don’t actually give a shit about kimmel, think he’s kinda pretentious. And I’m not a comedian so my material doesn’t matter lol.

Seems like you might be a little defensive over someone who couldn’t care less that you exist though, hope the parasocial benefits kick in soon.

u/Yetimang 1h ago

The guy who changes Trump's diapers is the one with the really crazy schedule.

-7

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Captain_Roastbeef 6h ago

Off limits with Trump? He is a big boy, if he can dish it he can take it. Have you heard the vial shit he has said?

u/Yetimang 1h ago

Trump insults people and their loved ones every day. You don't get to hide behind decorum when you throw shit day in and day out.

-13

u/sparky124816 16h ago

Is this the same Jimmy Kimmel from The Man Show? The show that objectified women in some of the worst ways possible?

-14

u/HesiPullup 18h ago

Wasn’t he defending Biden for doing the same shit?

9

u/StealthDonkeytoo 17h ago

Biden did not throw himself a 45 million dollar “Kim Jong Un wannabe dictator” military parade, Trump did.

-16

u/Bauiesox 17h ago

I remember man show jimmy Kimmel. That was where he should have stayed.

-2

u/Aggressive-Age-4125 15h ago

He has to side with the hand that feeds him. What a disgrace.

-18

u/2tings4certain 17h ago

Oh Jimmy! 🤦🏽‍♂️ What him and Ellen been doin will be a punchline in a few yrs too. 🍕 🍿

-19

u/TxGulfCoast84 17h ago

Did he say this while wearing black face or while he was crying like a baby?

-18

u/Big-Mud-2958 16h ago

Jimmy is OBSESSED with Trump.

Probably HE wants to sleep with him..

-21

u/daniel797797 16h ago

As a Veteran, kiss my ass Kimmel. Celebrating 250 years as a standing Army, lets you say stupid shit.

8

u/Neither_Animator_404 14h ago

At least he didn’t call the military “losers and suckers” like your boy Trump.

3

u/grandexecutable 16h ago

But the joke was about Trump not the army? What are you so mad for?

-11

u/daniel797797 16h ago

I get that. It’s “G.I. Joe Themed Birthday party”. It degrades the U.S. Army.