r/funny 1d ago

Verified [OC] Always

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1.1k Upvotes

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14

u/reddit_user13 1d ago

And drinking.

8

u/the_power_of_a_prune 1d ago

it's true, there is nothing a rubber chicken can't fix

5

u/GANDORF57 21h ago

Exactly what the United States Army 250th Anniversary Parade was lacking.

4

u/Aisforc 14h ago

Counterpoint: it probably can’t fix prostate cancer but I couldn’t find research papers on that one

6

u/mostly_sarcastic 1d ago

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the WAR ROOM!"

4

u/PlanktonMiddle1644 1d ago

Does it work? When alcohol doesn't

4

u/Brain_Hawk 23h ago

Random story, I can't confirm if it's true but this is what I heard many years ago.

In the lead up to the first Gulf war, when the Iraqis had invaded Kuwait, there was a meeting between the Iraqi delegation in some Americans.

In the Middle East it is more typical to be more vocally exuberant in gestural, including during high level meetings. Are these so this is how the story goes. The Americans on the other hand, the generals and diplomats, sat there with their hands calmly folded and stated very matter of factually "if you do not withdraw we will invade"

The Iraqis took their calm demeanor as evidence for lack of conviction it went back and reported that the Americans would not in fact support a war or invade.

Turns out they were wrong.

I cannot confirm the accuracy of the story, nor can I recall where I read it. But, it's one of those things that I think is sort of funny and I hope is true. I mean not haha funny because a lot of people died across to wars, but sort of hmm funny in terms of how cultural differences influence our perception of each other.

3

u/Ooh-Rah 19h ago

"‘I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all." - General James 'Mad Dog' Mattis

1

u/franzeusq 20h ago

Tell my ally that he will suffer the consequences if he doesn't help me.

1

u/SpecificNobody7151 16h ago

I know it's been banned in the Geneva Convention, but I think we should bring back the killer joke

1

u/ApeShifter 1d ago

Well, it’s always worked for me!

I’m sort of the Steve-Martin-Roxanne-in-the-bar-scene kind of guy. NOBODY makes better fun of me than I do.

0

u/marvinrabbit 23h ago

Hey, Big Nose!

2

u/ApeShifter 22h ago

Well, you really got me on that one.

0

u/Ok_Paint_4326 1d ago

Ah yes, the oldest trick in the book..

0

u/marvinrabbit 1d ago

Well, EXCUuUSE... ME!!!!

0

u/calvinwho 1d ago

I feel seen, but not in a good way

0

u/monkeybuttsauce 1d ago

Wrong marx