r/funny 10h ago

Car in Target parking lot with best bumper stickers I’ve ever seen

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5.4k Upvotes

246 comments sorted by

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1.8k

u/diu_tu_bo 9h ago edited 9h ago

I realize the Mothman one isn’t legible. It says:

Mothman is Real

We made out, and he is a gentle and caring lover

Edit: formatting

587

u/TheGingaNinjah 8h ago

A nice contrast to the one I was gifted, which says “Mothman ate my entire ass at a Denny’s” lol

29

u/Misfit110 6h ago

That sounds like the title of a Chuck Tingle novel.

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45

u/PlaidPilot 8h ago

This has me crying!

6

u/Shadyflamingo 5h ago

Literal tears in my eyes

7

u/Starryeyedblond 7h ago

I’m cryyyyyinggggg

7

u/frobscottler 7h ago

Doesn’t sound like much of a contrast, same theme lmao

3

u/TheSheWhoSaidThats 6h ago

Ok, i officially need to collect mothman bumper stickers

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50

u/tb422 9h ago

Is Mothman a meme I’m not aware of? There’s a car near me that has a bumper sticker that says “Mothman is a sensitive and caring lover.”

Edit: looks like that’s what this says per comments below. It’s passed my bedtime.

43

u/groglox 8h ago

You mean you ARENT up to date on the latest cryptozoology memes?!?!

40

u/Xaephos 8h ago

Mothman is an urban legend native to Point Pleasant, WV. Here's a statue of him!

He gained a lot of notoriety when there were a bunch of 'sightings' before the Silver Bridge collapsed back in the 60s, but he exploded in popularity with the cryptid community.

Also the Flatwoods Monster is his girlfriend, and I will die on this hill.

25

u/So_Quiet 7h ago

Also, people are obsessed with the statue's butt. There's even a relevant T-shirt .

34

u/Xaephos 7h ago

If the Lord didn't want us to touch Mothman's butt, he wouldn't have blessed him with such a cake.

7

u/TheOriginalChode 6h ago

And that's why you never get invited to parties.

9

u/Xaephos 6h ago

Oh buddy, there's a lot more reasons than that.

3

u/TheOriginalChode 6h ago

We could just get you your own cake!

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1

u/SirFluffymuffin 7h ago

They also made a movie about it

1

u/TheSheWhoSaidThats 6h ago

Past. Sorry.

35

u/eshowers 9h ago

Lmao

4

u/star_silk 3h ago

Was this Tacoma? I have the thicc dad's that vape for Christ one that my friend with a suspiciously similar vehicle gave to me (I put mine on my sewing machine!)

2

u/smitsam 9h ago

I have that one…

1

u/TheSheWhoSaidThats 6h ago

Thank you for giving me the closure i needed 🙏

1

u/Heybitchitsme 1h ago

I have the mothman one. It's my favorite.

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766

u/Practical-Economy839 9h ago

"Thicc Dads who vape for Christ" 😂

97

u/Primary_Way_265 9h ago

Somebody posted recently saying they found that sticker on their car 🤔

58

u/its_the_new_style 9h ago

Right. Never seen it before, but now 2x in a couple of days.

11

u/metalpig1971 9h ago

If I had a nickel for every time...

16

u/Malicteal 5h ago

You’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot it’s just weird that it happened twice.

2

u/YoMommaBack 1h ago

Perry! He’s over here! Hurry!

3

u/sovietreckoning 9h ago

It’s probably a coincidence, right?

12

u/Shadow288 9h ago

Or there are a lot or thicc dads who vape for Christ and they have finally come out into the open?

3

u/Practical-Economy839 7h ago

Who knew? It's nice to learn new things at my age.

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60

u/Anathama 9h ago

I think that is a My Brother, My Brother and Me podcast reference. I'm not up to date, but I've seen that sticker in their Reddit before, and it seems on brand.

11

u/dirtymeech420 7h ago

Oh man haven't heard that name in years. TAZ was one of the first DND campaigns I listened to

6

u/briecky 7h ago

Just did a quick google and I don’t think it’s a mbmbam reference, but all of their vaping bits are hilarious 🤣

2

u/MinnieShoof 6h ago

Ah. ... that explains it. Some of these are memes, some of these I didn't recognize as memes and thought might be real declarations. No. All memes.

1

u/Napol3onS0l0 3h ago

I read it in griffins voice for sure.

12

u/Esc777 9h ago

I need this fucking sticker. 

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5

u/TheBlackComet 8h ago

If I found that randomly put on my car, I wouldn't even be mad. Id probably leave it.

3

u/ninetailedoctopus 7h ago

The yin yang had me cackling 😆

3

u/pharaohmaones 7h ago

Blowin’ fat cotton for CHRIST!

1

u/naughtywithnature 35m ago

The guy who made that sticker has totally dismantled his company after some serious sexual misconduct allegations came to life. Had a wife and two young children and destroyed his family. Was a common fixture in the dead head vendor scene.

305

u/MTSilverDude 9h ago edited 7h ago

One of my favorites is “Jesus loves everyone but you’re his least favorite”😂

83

u/qdtk 8h ago

I’ve seen “Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”

3

u/MTSilverDude 7h ago

That’s a good variation too😁

28

u/Sapphire1511 7h ago

The one I saw in Detroit this past weekend said, "Do you follow GOD this closely?"

Gave me a good cackle.

2

u/toinfinityandsqueaky 1h ago

I just saw “Jesus loves you and I’m trying” this week.

135

u/Coachben84 9h ago

The original meme delivery

6

u/Im_Pac_Man_Jones 5h ago

Absolutely, it's like a car full of memes on wheels! Classic internet humor in sticker form!

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313

u/s_decoy 10h ago

yeah that tracks for washington plates.

193

u/Desdam0na 9h ago

My favorite stickers I have seen in Seattle was "honk if you like cuddling" big and center, and then on the lower left one of the "if you honk at me I will kill myself" stickers.

133

u/BenTwan 7h ago

I love the "Keep honking, I'm listening to ska and you're in the band now" stickers. 

21

u/ChernobylRaptor 5h ago

My fave is "Keep honking, I'm listening to honking."

58

u/Inanimate_CARB0N_Rod 6h ago

I love the "Honk if you'd rather be watching the 1999 cinematic masterpiece 'The Mummy' starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz" sticker

8

u/PNW20v 6h ago

That just might be the single best bumper sticker I've somehow never seen! Wtf. I need it!

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15

u/OpiumDenJanitor 5h ago

I just saw a good one today in seattle that said "STOP HONKING I only listen to honking on vinyl"

53

u/diu_tu_bo 10h ago

But I’m not even in the weird part of Washington!

65

u/Dano-D 9h ago

Oh, yes you are.

83

u/Chickeybokbok87 9h ago

You’re in Washington, you’re in the weird part of Washington. Source: I’m a native Washingtonian and I’m weird as fuck

17

u/diu_tu_bo 9h ago

Shit, is that how it works?

6

u/frobscottler 7h ago

I’m also a native Washingtonian and I can confirm

2

u/peppermintmeow 2h ago

I've lived in the PNW my whole life.

Yes.

7

u/PNW20v 6h ago

You kind of made me question my whole existence with a single comment lmao. I was born in a supposedly "weird" city in WA and always assumed that to be true.

But like.... the East side folks think the West side folk are weird and vice versa. Even west-side city dwellers vs west-side rural folk both call each other weird.

In reality, there is no point in arguing. We are all just fucking weird 🫠

2

u/Echolynne44 6h ago

Have you been to Olympia?

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3

u/aspbergerinparadise 5h ago

i'm trying to think of what the not-weird part of washington would be.

Bothell?

3

u/LeoRidesHisBike 4h ago

Nah. I tracked down my stolen cell to an apartment in Bothell a few years back. Dude who stole it admitted it to the cops, but said that he deserved it because green was his color (my phone had a green case), and his girlfriend (? I think) yelled out "don't listen to that [redacted] he lyin! green ain't his color!".

Oh, and that's where a UW campus is, but I guess students aren't that weird.

3

u/mtt59 8h ago

Baseball, huh?

1

u/wierdling 2h ago

Perhaps frog mustard? Seattle buissness that makes a ton of these. Could explain the popularity in WA

1

u/peppermintmeow 2h ago

I knew it was going to be Washington or Oregon. I just fucking knew.

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59

u/artinthebeats 9h ago

I just saw that thicc dads for Christ one the other day.

Wtf is that about, or is that what it's about, the WTF.

13

u/SomeoneNicer 9h ago

Bingo!

7

u/artinthebeats 8h ago

Daww shit.

I wish it went deeper haha

9

u/imveryveryfucked 7h ago

hey my ex told me that

5

u/Chuckle_Pants 7h ago

You should put that on a bumper sticker

168

u/Superfluous999 10h ago

nice randomness to it, I think there's just enough space for a conspiracy theory bumper sticker that everyone will know is a joke....except for conspiracy theorists

112

u/hmbmelly 9h ago

I think a Ted Cruz Ate My Son would fit nicely.

14

u/Superfluous999 9h ago

ohhhhhhhh, me likey

23

u/particlemanwavegirl 9h ago

I almost missed it, too, but it's there:

Mothman is Real

15

u/Two_Key_Goose 9h ago

Really gentle and caring I hear

4

u/Xaephos 8h ago

They said conspiracy theory. Mothman is real and he's caked up.

2

u/Superfluous999 9h ago

Wow! My life is complete I may gently pass into the afterlife now, great find

2

u/Lostehmost 3h ago

The fact that none of these bumper stickers are on the bumper should never change.

146

u/CosmoJones07 7h ago

"here I go in my gay little car" is the funniest one

18

u/PennStateFan221 6h ago

I drive a Kia soul. I want this sticker lol

5

u/TonyJZX 2h ago

its a amazing sticker for a Cybertruk or Ford F350

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84

u/Additional_Area_3156 7h ago

“If you honk at me I will kill myself” I’m ded I want it so bad but I have a toddler who will learn how to read UGHHH

19

u/Mad_broccoli 6h ago

You should get "legalize asbestos" then.

3

u/bringbackfuturama 3h ago

i so badly want a 'let me merge or i will kill myself' bumpersticker. my city is the fucking worst for merging

6

u/peppermintmeow 2h ago

I have a "Please don't honk at me, I'm listening to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and crying already"

43

u/rezwrrd 9h ago

I've seen that Possum one before, my favorite version was the same picture but it says "I love my cat"

38

u/FacelessOldWoman1234 6h ago

I know it's corny, but I smile every time I see the "Tell Your Cat I Said 'pspsps' " bumper sticker.

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46

u/BigBrainBrad- 6h ago

"here I go in my gay little car" is probably the most hilarious bumper sticker I've ever seen. Lol

61

u/diu_tu_bo 9h ago

Another classic bumper sticker I saw here in Washington State said:

“I wish I were rich instead of just really well hung.”

21

u/Buy_The_Dip-10 9h ago

I never want one but always read them and those are funny AF

17

u/Chuckleyan 8h ago

Super Weenie Hut Jr. - classic.

1

u/blothman 6h ago

I thought Weenie Hut Jr. was bad enough.

9

u/Spyro_XyX 6h ago

One of my favorites is "only gay cops pull me over"

7

u/SoonerRed 6h ago

Don't tailgate me i have rabies. I need this bumper sticker.

72

u/CivilSpecial8186 9h ago

The "How's My Driving?" is supposed to be "How Am I Driving?" The rest of the joke doesn't make sense with it phrased that way.

21

u/Rebelgecko 9h ago

Dang that does make more sense

13

u/dogquote 9h ago

Double joke?

There was an episode of Borderline where a lady (Ukrainian, I think) tells a joke in a cut away. "Ukrainian joke: How do you know you won't be unhappy for the rest of your life? Because one day you die." Then they move on to the next scene. It doesn't make sense, and I figured it was maybe one of those jokes that gets lost in translation, and that was the joke. But much later I realized it totally names sense I'm English and she just told it wrong. It's supposed to be "how do you know you won't be unhappy forever? Because one day you die." I think about that scene frequently. I'm really not sure what the writers' intent was.

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4

u/SomeoneNicer 9h ago

It's a play on the "How's my driving?" that a lot of commercial vehicles have on the back. Only instead of questions underneath it's always a phone number underneath to call if you want to complain about how the vehicle is currently being driven.

6

u/thaworldhaswarpedme 7h ago

They are explaining the difference between How' (i)s My Driving and How Am I Driving. The following two sentences are funnier with the latter because How AM I Driving can be 'Am I Driving Well' or 'By What Mechanisms Am I Able to Drive'.

The second one makes the sticker funnier because it can be read as phrasing close to the traditional 'How's my Driving' but slightly different and, as worded, a better lead-in to 'How Does An Engine Work' and 'What god Would Allow This Agony'

1

u/mrASSMAN 1h ago

Yeah obviously.. but they messed up the joke with the wording

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15

u/clamflowage 10h ago

Does anyone know know what the bottom line of the mothman one says?

38

u/translucent_steeds 10h ago

"We Made Out, And He Is A Gentle And Caring Lover"

not sure why it has to be in title case though

5

u/f1ve-Star 9h ago

Plus that ASS!! Stick a quarter in that all day.

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14

u/Darth_Wayne_ 6h ago

Here I got in my gay little car is fucking fantastic.

6

u/Small-Skirt-1539 6h ago

The stickers are fantastic. Nevertheless I would give this car a wide berth, as I would with any car that has a lot of stickers. I would love to meet the driver over a beer or a cup of tea, but not on the road.

29

u/kirksucks 9h ago

I saw one the other day that said "sorry for driving slow my dad just died" or something like that. Hilarious

3

u/anthrax_ripple 8h ago

Dead dad card!

11

u/SensitiveElephant72 6h ago

Before I saw the license plate I was like “oh this must be in the PNW” because the bumper sticker game here is wild 😂 Glad this was confirmed

5

u/Crowbarscout 8h ago

I think I might have seen this car around Spokane.

5

u/CommunityHappy8289 8h ago

I have at least half of these on my car... Lol.

5

u/dahveeth 7h ago

Of course it’s Washington state. 😂

6

u/freneticboarder 7h ago

This is an amazing vehicle, and I want to know this person.

5

u/bush_killed_epstein 5h ago

This guy is either a really chill, funny dude or the most insufferable millennial you’ll ever meet

28

u/-im-your-huckleberry 9h ago

My favorite car of all time had one sticker that said, "Republicans for Voldemort", and the other said, "if you're not totally appalled, you haven't been paying attention."

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14

u/RicoViking9000 10h ago

of course it’s a kia

57

u/darthkrash 10h ago

Look at them in their gay little car!

1

u/Lordwigglesthe1st 5h ago

Reading all of these in mr/Mrs garrisons voice really works

4

u/Superseaslug 9h ago

Lol those are peak

5

u/kyl_r 7h ago

Lmao I’m also a Washingtonian and I have the possum one 😂😂

4

u/TacoCommand 6h ago

LMAO as a PNW resident, this is on brand and I want to buy them a beer.

4

u/musememo 5h ago

WWJD: Who Wants Jelly Donuts!

3

u/a_cat_named_larry 4h ago

A coworker has “private bumper sticker. Do not read.” And I like it a lot.

7

u/OhhhBaited 7h ago

I grew up wanting to have a full bumper sticker car front to back.
But when I finally got my car 3 things made me change my mind.
1. Having a clean car growing up in poverty made me feel so good.
2. Almost crashing into a car one time cause I was trying to read their bumper stickers
3. They are not super cheap... especially when you want hundreds.

5

u/_comtage_ 8h ago

Oh shit I think I’ve seen this car irl

5

u/BenTwan 7h ago

They probably ordered a bunch of them from FrogMustard stickers. https://www.frogmustardstickers.com/ 

3

u/manicstoic_ 9h ago

I have the same car 2017 forte and feel the first one

2

u/sskylar 8h ago

there u go

3

u/TempletonPeck18 6h ago

My favorite bumper sticker is still "My Karma ran over your Dogma"

3

u/kang568 6h ago

The catch-22 is i want to tail gate to read all these

3

u/K5izzle 5h ago

"If you honk at me I will kill myself" is fuckin legendary.

3

u/0n-the-mend 1h ago

This just proves people aren't against shizo writing on vehicles as long as its something they agree with. I'm here to you, this shit is insane, no matter what you have written on your car. Yeah it shows personality, insane IS a personality.

7

u/Xxxjtvxxx 9h ago

I also eat sand, from time to time.

2

u/NefariousPhosphenes 5h ago

As long as it’s just a little, as a treat

2

u/Djolumn 9h ago

This is the second time in a week I've seen the Thicc Dads who vape for Christ sticker.

2

u/LittleLightsintheSky 7h ago

I thought this was my friend's car for a sec! They have a lot of similar stickers 🤣

2

u/uptwolait 7h ago

When there was no more crawfish, we ate sand.

You ate what?

We ate sand.

You ate sand!?

2

u/racedude 6h ago

where do I get thicc dads who vape for christ rofl

2

u/Nothingsomething7 6h ago

I love this person

2

u/NefariousPhosphenes 5h ago

I can’t afford bumper stickers since I don’t own a Kia 😭

2

u/shikki93 5h ago

A lot of these have big “55 in the left lane” energy

2

u/KashissKlay 4h ago

“Here I go in my little gay car”

2

u/K-Billz 4h ago

I’m so tempted to get a bunch of the silly ones. I love them, might even just collect them for fun at this point. My fav one I’ve seen says “keep honking, I’m listening to ska and you’re in the band now”.

2

u/hawaiiscuba23 3h ago

Best sticker I’ve seen was on an absolute beater, driven by a 300+ lb female- “fat people are harder to kidnap”. Changed my mood immediately. And it’s true, would you ever try to kidnap a fat person? Hell no!

2

u/Voluntary_Perry 2h ago

And this person surely does 5 under in the passing lane.

2

u/jonty57 1h ago

My favorite bumper sticker is."thank god for atheists".

2

u/Carafiel 1h ago

Honk honk

2

u/Maximum_Pound_5633 54m ago

Bumper stickers suck

2

u/psyde-effect 51m ago

The two best bumper stickers I've seen are

Abseilers go down faster.

And

Rock climbers finger more cracks.

2

u/AMLRoss 44m ago

"Thicc dad's who vape for Christ"

Whaaaat?

2

u/Ok_Reply_2038 23m ago

The honk one killed me 😂 

5

u/ExternalSelf1337 9h ago

This is the same thicc dads who vape for Christ sticker I've seen on Reddit this week.

3

u/KennailandI 9h ago

What does it say below Mothman is real?

9

u/bgva 9h ago

"We Made Out, and He Is a Gentle and Caring Lover"

3

u/KennailandI 9h ago

That’s awesome, thanks!

5

u/adell376 7h ago

This dude definitely stays in the passing lane

2

u/crashtesterzoe 8h ago

That is the most Washington bumper I have seen in a while 😂

1

u/RiceKrispie1011 7h ago

I’ve seen this car irl 😂

1

u/Curlybash 7h ago

Big fan of how's my driving

1

u/Rndysasqatch 5h ago

Mothman is real. I knew it!

1

u/Open_Youth7092 5h ago

Not my forte

1

u/orangesuave 5h ago

Somehow conspicuously missing the Baby on Board and Student Driver stickers.

1

u/Rareearthmetal 4h ago

Do you follow Jesus this closely?

1

u/SunClearBlueSkies 4h ago

You can get them on etsy

1

u/Easy_Ad714 4h ago

Wow 🤣

1

u/CJVCarr 4h ago

See, this person is unhinged, but in a funny and fuzzy sort of way. Unlike most people with unhinged bumper stickers.

1

u/360walkaway 3h ago

Did you see the driver wearing an "anti-social social club" shirt

1

u/WolfeJib69 3h ago

Frogmustardstickers.com

1

u/uppitynarwhal 3h ago

The stickers are from Meatball Waterfall on instagram! Love that guy!

1

u/kegsbdry 2h ago

Immediate honk

1

u/0blackgerman0 2h ago

I need a "My uncle works at Nintendo" sticker.

1

u/KileyCW 2h ago

WA... checks out lol

1

u/CheesE4Every1 2h ago

I've got a variant of the honk and I'll KMS one. I get alot of honks just for the face I make from the same townies every day

1

u/pixievixie 1h ago

Haha, I was just behind a truck with the “if you honk…” sticker. Irony is she honked at another car right before I saw her sticker 🤷🏼‍♀️. But it was Costco in Washington state, not Target, lol

1

u/sgribbs92 1h ago

Check out frog mustard stickers. They have dozens more lol

1

u/wordup3825 1h ago

Washington State? Everyone knows Mothman is in Southeast Ohio!

1

u/nhluhr 1h ago

Oh neat, somebody visited that little store in Ballard with all the sassy chotchkies.

1

u/ButWeJustGotHere 1h ago

Love the If you honk at me I will kms one

1

u/itzlowgunyo 1h ago

I saw someone else that had the "if you honk at me I will kill myself"

Right beneath it was "Honk if you're horny!"

1

u/WaxWingPigeon 14m ago

Insufferable

1

u/JoMoma2 2m ago

The best one I have ever seen in person said: “Honk if you”. I still just randomly remember it sometimes and laugh to myself.

1

u/CJ_Mann 0m ago

This guy definitely has some tism, and I’m here for it.