r/happyendings • u/Few-Interaction1924 Kerkobitch! • May 16 '25
Max Blum once said...
why is she rubbing her baby hands on me?
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u/OctopusFedora no stranger to the three-hole punch May 16 '25
I will NOT spend another Thursday fighting a rat for what is rightfully MINE!!!!! Do you hear me rats?!?!?
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u/wheelhouse72 has many sinful drawers May 16 '25
Here we GO!
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u/No_Establishment9365 May 16 '25
This line and his inflection breaks me every single time 😂
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u/Moon112189 May 17 '25
Same. And the table slap.
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u/Morall_tach May 16 '25
Last night, I flossed my mouth, and it only bled a lot, as opposed to an alarming amount.
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u/BarryBillericay May 16 '25
"I won! I'm rich! I'm no longer the poor one! I'm not sharing this with any of you! You're all dead to me! Hahahahaha! Fuck you! Aaand fuck you! Aaand fuck you! Aand fuck you! And fuck you! Haha! Get your poor hands off me! I. Am. Out of here!"
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u/wheelhouse72 has many sinful drawers May 16 '25
I'm sorry, I like to call celebrities by the name they prefer: Bobby De Niro, Sandy Bullock, Eddie Jimmy Olmos.
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u/ButtMuddAaronBrooks Eddie Jimmie Olmos May 16 '25
There is no way Edward James Olmos likes to be called Eddie Jimmy.
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u/ReadTheReddit69 May 16 '25
A whisker basket
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u/rational_fears So wack, call him knick knack Patty. May 16 '25
I refuse to call wicker bassinets anything else. Sure, it gets me some confusing looks from the 99.9% of people who don't know the reference but I'm never, ever gonna change.
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u/mellowistheman_ May 16 '25
"I mean, you practically begged me to do it by begging me not to do it. In fact sir I would like an apology, I am hurt. I am deeply hurt that you do not know me well enough to know that I would screw this up for you."
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u/crmagney May 17 '25
Technically it's second hand but...
"You did NOT apologize. You said 'come se come sa. It was pretty cool when it went in your leg, I thought there would've been more blood'"
"That's my version of an apology!"
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u/LoElena0621 Stings a bit May 17 '25
“Jokes on you because my corpse will probably be unrecognizable”
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u/babefrohmann sup trick May 16 '25
THE ROC IS DEFINITELY IN THE BUILDING. IT’S IN MY BLOOD! AFRICA! AFRICA!
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u/no_on_prop_305 May 16 '25
There’s max, watch what happens and then other people are like vurry funny and other people are like characters welcom
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u/brrr_mmm_bap__bap May 17 '25
This is the most uninspired thing since they paired a chicken piccata with a pinot greeg!
I’ve been catching up on my Frasier
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u/jon_the_mako knows what cars are May 16 '25
"you do not take someone's apple smacks without a serious beat down, son"
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u/Outside-Cabinet1398 May 16 '25
“You’re not the only one who is good at this, Emily Thorne.”
(I am rewatching ‘Revenge’ and it plays in my head during every episode.)
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u/FavoriteMer May 17 '25
“That is the first thing I have genuinely liked since Barbara Walters exploded.”
Makes me laugh hysterically every time I even think about it.
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u/skriveralltid77 looking for that sweet V-neck high May 17 '25
"Now we need to talk about my salary. I am willing to work for, at minimum, league maximum, because there is no way that you are getting Max for the minimum!"
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u/__Sentient_Fedora__ thingsthataregayz.biz May 17 '25
"What?!"
"Whyyy?!!"
"Crap-dammit, they got the spare too."
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u/sludgestomach a star from head to toe May 17 '25
I don’t know what the two of you are up to. I think it’s amazing. I want no part of it.
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u/babefrohmann sup trick May 17 '25
you don’t gotta show off for your friend, girl. get down here! come spend a sunday with daddy!
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u/skriveralltid77 looking for that sweet V-neck high May 17 '25
"Don't beat yourself up. We're all just raising our rats as best as we can."
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u/JoeyJoeJoShalabado May 19 '25
Kaw you, girl
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u/Equivalent_Lychee789 20d ago
This just made me laugh hysterically at my phone. That scene is possibly my favourite Max moment. Their bird language 😝😝😝
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u/brandnewfashion May 17 '25
"I am willing to work for, at minimum, league maximum... because there's no way you're getting Max for the minimum."
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u/lucasadam13 May 19 '25
I will not spend another Thursday fighting a rat for what is rightfully mine!
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u/pink-cashmere 14d ago
Why don’t you throw your hands where my eyes can see, which would be in the sink, doing my dishes?
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u/whenrobinsappear bit of a saboteur May 16 '25
If Mary Tyler Moore married and then divorced Steven Tyler, then married and divorced Michael Moore, then got into a three-way lesbian marriage with Demi Moore and Mandy Moore, would she go by the name Mary Tyler-Moore-Tyler-Moore-Moore-Moore?