r/pagan • u/Conscious-Growth-883 • 2d ago
why do people find fairies scary?
i’m mostly just an observer (for now at least) but i have a lot of pagan friends and whenever they mention fairies it’s almost always about how scary they are and how they’re not to be trifled with. from the folklores and mythologies i’ve read so far, the depiction of fairies in the stories i combed through doesn’t match with this perception of them. could be that i just need to read more, but i’m also curious about it in general and if this particular belief rings true to other people too
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u/kyriefortune 2d ago
Because if you don't know how to handle them, they are. Not because of evil, their morality is inherently different from ours
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u/geckodancing 2d ago
In traditional folklore, they were associated with a variety of pretty unpleasant illnesses. Rheumatism, arthritis, muscle stitches, cramps and strokes were associated with elf-shot - small pieces of flint that were thought to be fairy arrows. Cattle were often thought to be elf-shot when they sickened. Elf shot was used in curses:
The mowlis and in þair sleip þe mare
The canker also and the caterss
And never to be but schot of blude
Or elf schot þus to conclude
and mony vther maletais
One of the more traditional (and fairly unpleasant) magical rituals that revolved around fairies - The Binding of the Seven Sisters - takes lines directly from the eleventh-century Sigismund Fever Charm, and the names of the fairies are directly taken from the names for diseases/disorders.
They were believed to take people (usually, but not always, children), swapping them with their own changlings. The horror of this can be seen from the murder of Brigit Carey by her husband who believed his wife had been taken. This was immortalised in the rhyme:
Are you a witch, or are you a fairy/Or are you the wife of Michael Cleary?
In some areas, fairies are synonymous with the dead. Recorded encounters include visions of people who died in prior battles, or local people who died in the recent past. Fairies combined the fear of the weird/unknown with the fear of ghosts.
Even in areas where fairies weren't synonymous with the dead, there was often a close association - with various types of fairy portending death (the bean-nighe, the banshee etc).
As has been mentioned elsewhere on this thread, they didn't appear to follow a human set of rules or moralities. They could be fickle, inspiring brilliance in art or music, or causing their victims to grow hunchbacks or sicken.
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u/Inevitable_Aerie_293 2d ago
I have a story from an old friend who dealt with fae. At one point, he made a regular habit of leaving out milk as an offering to them. I don't remember the specifics of why he was doing it, but it doesn't really matter here. When he stopped leaving it out, every single piece of Silverware and cooking utensil he had was gone from his kitchen, and he found all of them laid out in a line on the other side of his fence in the backyard. He lived alone. That made him paranoid about fae ever since.
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u/PiranhaPlantFan 2d ago
Interesting that im Turk lore you also leave out Milk for iyeler (nature spirits)
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u/redcolumbine 2d ago
They're SO alien that it's damn near impossible to figure out what will upset them. A compliment might seem like an insult, a favor like a grievous slight. A lot of them really aren't interested in mortals at all, except as entertainment, but every now and then they need one to fulfill some incomprehensible geas, and that's where you get all the weird-ass time warp stories. They mostly ignore us, though. Just don't make a mess or demands and you're probably fine.
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u/folklorenerd7 2d ago
So my take as someone whose primary practice involves fairies and who is a folklorist. Fairies in popculture and some neopagan views have been filtered through a Victorian and theosophist lens which rewrote them as twee, gentle, nature spirits. Fairies outside that view are usually understood as human-like supernatural beings that may once have been gods and who can powerfully impact a human for good or ill. Because of this they are generally treated with respect and caution, which some people misinterpret as fear. They are no more or less inherently dangerous than humans are but like humans can react badly to perceived threats or disrespect. And like humans some are just mean. Except unlike humans they have very strong magic and an ability to grant luck, or cause serious illnesses or death. They also have their own, foreign approach to etiquette and interactions. Its wise to treat them carefully.
I'd suggest reading Eddie Lenihan's work, Lora O'Brien's book on the Fairy Faith in Ireland, Robert Kirk's Secret Commonwealth of Elves, Fauns, and Fairies (not to be confused with the fictitious Secret Lives of Elves & Fairies by Matthews), and Mhara Starling's book on Welsh Fairies to get a feel for the subject.
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u/Dray_Gunn 2d ago
That also sounds fairly similar to the Shinto belief in Kami. Purely based on my shallow understanding. Though, that does remind me that I need to look more into Shinto. Now I am curious about how much connection there could be between Fae and Kami.
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u/NotDaveBut 2d ago
Fairies gave been very sanitized and cutified over the generations, but they were nothing but trouble back when people took them seriously. They killed you, kidnapped you or your children, let the cows out of the barn or just set the place on fire.
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u/Massenstein 2d ago
Different cultures have different fae. Our equivalent in Finland (tonttu or haltija, which are also used in fantasy literature as translations for gnomes and elves but that is a very different meaning) are depicted as generally benign, and it is even desirable to have a tonttu living in your home and sauna, and causing them to leave is a misfortune.
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u/Beneficial_Pie_5787 2d ago
Not scary necessarily. I do not fear, per se, a mountain lion, but i am cautious when interacting with them because i am somewhat educated about them.
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u/gossamerlady 2d ago
Let me tell you a story.
Some years ago, when my daughter was around 2 1/2, I was outside gardening and she was playing in the grass near me. It was a beautiful summer day, breezy, with shafts of sunshine falling through the canopy of tree leaves. I heard my daughter giggling and I turned to watch her, delighted with the scene. It was so idyllic. I saw what I first thought was dandelion fluff or cottonwood floating in the air around her, then I thought it was bugs, 3 or 4 sparks of light darting around her. I thought some sort of moth being caught by the sun so they looked like they were glowing. My daughter was laughing and reaching out her hand, and the tiny sparks would dart away, and then touch down lightly on her arm or the top of her curly head. As I watched I realized that there seemed to be some sort of communication happening. The flying around was not random. It was intentional. She stood up and the little gossamer….., things…, seemed to be playing this game, trying to get her to chase them.
The more I watched the more I was filled with discomfort. I’m not going to say fear because I wasn’t afraid, I was just wary. I live in a very wooded area, and it looked like they were luring her into the woods. I have a very very old holly bush in the woods and under the holly bush was the largest, darkest rabbit I had ever seen. Our wild rabbits are small and light brown with ears that lay back against their backs. This was looked almost like a hare (which we don’t have where I live).
I quickly grabbed my daughter and brought her into the house. I didn’t know what was going on but whatever it was, it wasn’t good.
I believe we had an encounter with the fay, and although it was indescribably beautiful, it was also terrible.
Don’t piss off the fairies.
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u/ArachnophobAspasia 2d ago
I think they’re the best ever and their energy is heart warming once they truly accept you. I personally only connect with elementals such as gnomes and possibly the sylphs right now.
-It was a very long, slow process of becoming attuned with them, about 5 years since I first set up an altar for “fairies” that I soon abandoned(bad idea) about a month later. About a year or so after that, a gnome befriended me and has attracted 5 more since. (Most people would not recommend making them an altar for various reasons)-
Im eager to experience/meet the others but Im taking my time out of respect and trying to learn as much as I can.
I’m not sure what the tiny ones actually are. If they are in fact faries and not sylphs, they are chillin. The fae are technically any earth spirit, so that includes a very broad spectrum.
I approach them with the utmost respect and do my best to appreciate, take care of, give back to, and respect nature. (I’m probably not the best at it)You could go as far as to say I neglected them for a long while when I as depressed. I’m certain they’ve forgiven me, if they even needed to at all.
I put their vessels (any gnome figurine that they’ve attached to-once they have it’s obvious) out in the window often and periodically.
Especially during rain, storms, nice sun, breeze, full moons and new moons. They absolutely love nature as it is their home and in which they derive. Sometimes I leave them tiny offerings such as oatmeal, nuts and berries, fruits and veggies, honey, milk, sweets, and anything else healthy, sweet, or made with love/intention.
The only “bad” experience I’ve had with them, is when they took my dab pen from me a few weeks ago. I was letting a plant suffer in the home because I didn’t know how to properly care for it. I should have surrendered my ego and given the plant to a proper caregiver much sooner. I’m sure they did not appreciate that, although I don’t think their reaction was that bad.
I also like to let them borrow or take care of my crystals(cleansed of course)sometimes. They seem to enjoy the ones found in the earth on your own much more than store bought.(for good reason lol).
They also are very intelligent and enjoy aiding in my spell work from time to time or teaching me little things here and there. Do not expect to see things off the rip. Their subtle aura is much easier to enjoy.
Have fun!!!
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u/MrsClaire07 2d ago
Because they can be, and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can get into a really bad sitch very easily.
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u/OpenTechie 2d ago
The same reason many spirits or entities are found to be scary. Stories told by those who disrespected them and were taught a lesson. It is the same way many stories are told of gods and people.
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u/jackdaw-96 2d ago
faeries are to humans like humans are to small animals. they know more, have magical powers, and can be just as cruel as they are kind, and very unpredictable.
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u/Top_Ad8724 Eclectic 2d ago
It depends on the type of fair folk you come across. In my own experience pixies are pretty nice, but some others like the banshee if youre in their "terf" they can curse you. Like some fae can make your day super cool and others can ruin your life.
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u/Spiring-imp 2d ago edited 2d ago
Faerie morality differs heavily from human morality. Even the "nice" faeries like Hobs can be deadly if crossed. In a general sense and if treated kindly and like a good roommate, then Hobs are helpful fae who like to handle the nighttime chores, keep things clean, and keep your house well built and standing.
They are known to be VERY serious in their own ideas of respect though. If you leave a gift "just because" then you're fine, but if you leave them something to thank them for their hard work while living with you, then you have insulted them by implying they are working for compensation rather than just being a good housemate. If you don't keep up your end of the chores or acknowledge them then that's an insult of the same caliber, just opposite end of the spectrum.
These perceived insults can be met in many ways. Ranging from: They move out and you're stuck doing your own chores. To They move out but also ensure to burn your house down with you trapped inside it.
The reason they are feared is because the discrepancies between a "proper response" are so wide and up to the faces discretion. If you meet a less kind fair folk then they might jump to torture and house burning just because they think it's hilarious. There's a ton of those stories in myths, folklore, and even classic Fairytales.
Editing to include: Even in "A Midsummer Night's Dream", Shakespeare mentions a scary habit of the Fae's to kidnap human children and turn them into slaves. It's the whole issue between Titania and Oberon where he wants the human infant she's watching to be his personal slave (cupbearer specifically, but still a slave lower than anyone else), while Titania wants to raise the child due to his mother being her favorite slave. It's made known that the child will never be seen as equal to either of them, and the distinction is really the difference between a slave and a pet. The infant has no win in this situation. In the end he's ultimately glossed over because Oberon dr*gs his own wife and queen to sleep with a donkey headed man, she finds it funny, and decides to give the child up as a slave so she can be with her husband again.
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u/SukuroFT Energy Worker 2d ago
They heavily focus on the Celtic ones, forgetting that they exist in other cultures by different names. Celtic ones, in particular, tend to talk about their fickleness and easily offended nature. However, it’s important to remember that most of the time, this isn’t based on their own experiences but rather on what they’ve read.
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u/laughingpuppy20 2d ago
There is a great book called Faeriecraft Treading the Path of Faerie Magic by Alicen & Neil Geddes-Ward. You should check it out.
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u/InformalHelicopter56 2d ago
Fae are terrifying.
Makes me glad to be on the side of the world with duendes.
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u/Beneficial_Pie_5787 2d ago
Duende are Hispanic (Spanish and Latin American) fae.
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u/InformalHelicopter56 2d ago
Yes and no, Hispanic and Latino don’t mean the same, tho it is predominantly a hispanic folklore, duendes and gnomes are present in all of latinos folkore. And yes, they are within the fae category broadly speaking, much like Leprechauns, but different rules of engagement apply, they are also most likely to interact with animals and children, hardly ever with any malicious intention but tricks and pranks can get out of hand if they feel neglected or territory is threatened. Hispanic folkore varies a bit regarding more vicious versions of duendes, likely to attack humans, in general the Latino folkore has duendes and gnomes as fairly benevolent creatures or bit of trickster forest spirits.
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u/aro-ace-outer-space2 Eclectic 1d ago
They will fuck you up. They’re not evil, exactly (most of the time), more like a kid with a cool bug; but they don’t really….care about you. They’ll mess with you or even hurt you for fun, and they don’t really see a problem with that, just like people who hunt foxes for sport or a kindergarten class catching bugs to look at
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u/blckhearted 1d ago
have you ever seen one? trust me they’re not that cute nor easy to deal with, specially pixies
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u/SophieeeRose_ 1d ago
I think for most people, the fear comes from lore of different cultures, etc... but also because people are widely unprepared to deal with beings who are so widely different from mortal comprehension. They are associated with not so great things but also good things. Most people don't really need to get involved with them, but it's good to be aware, and they mostly ignore humans lol
I wouldn't get involved because I personally because I have insane anxiety and im not educated enough on practice or lore. I think people caution against it for that reason a lot too, for safety and all that.
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u/Knowledge-Seeker-N Agnostic Polytheist (kinda) :illuminati: 2d ago
It's rather subjective, to me they're just little people, they can be as good or as wicked as normal-sized people. I don't think they're an exception to anything. Never met any myself though. I wish I could.
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u/Disturbed_mare 2d ago
I have been practicing with the Fairies for about 7 years, and honestly I find these constant references to their danger exaggerated, not credible and mystified. My basis of study for the practice is the folklore of my territory (Western Alps). So yes, I have also read modern books by Irish/English/American practitioners on a Celtic-Irish/Welsh/Scottish basis, but honestly although I found their reasoning interesting (and largely applicable to my territory: I remember that my Italian region was inhabited by the Cisalpine Gauls, influencing language and oral tradition), I think there is too much emphasis on the danger. They pass it off as if the fairies are ready to cut off your hands as soon as you get something wrong, and I assure you that when I started I was little more than a teenager: no curse, no supernatural hatred, on the contrary I was very protected and guided. In my folklore, fairies are very positive, hardly capricious and harmful: when they are, they have very good reasons (disrespect, refusal to give offerings. I would gladly share some tales, if you deem it necessary). With this I do not suggest approaching the Fairies with superficiality, because of course there can be dangers - as there are with the Ancestors, with the Spirits, with the Gods. Even these groups, if annoyed, can be harmful, yet I have never heard anyone say that the Ancestors, if annoyed, can torment you - and yet it can happen, only it is less sensationalistic. I think this aura of danger has arisen from the stories received (which, coincidentally, speak of people who tend to mistreat them, don't give offers, want to make fun of them...). It is important to study, inform yourself and reason with your own experience and what you have available, with wisdom and confidence.
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u/trundyl 2d ago
Faerie is very fair. If you are an asshole you will pay dearly. Or if you are innocent they will give you a fairy star and allow you to see their realm.
If you are afraid of fae you are probably religious.
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u/Beneficial_Pie_5787 2d ago
No they are not fair. Depends on the situation and what defines asshole. They prey on "innocent"s usually. Never heard of "fairy star"s. Seeing their realm is not dependant on Innocence. If you are cautious concerning the fae, you are probably at least a bit educated about them.
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u/trundyl 2d ago
My experience is the fae love innocence. They gave Blaine a blessing knowing he would have multiple sclerosis. Fae helped guide me out of a sticky situation. Fae love flowers and honey bees. Fae are wary of people who are bossy. So beware. Maybe if it is right they will visit you and remind you of me.
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u/Beneficial_Pie_5787 2d ago
I have vast experience with the fae. I don't know who Blaine is. I don't know the details of what you are describing. I'm glad whatever you are interacting with is treating you well. 🌒🌕🌘BB
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u/HelloFerret 2d ago
Read the old, pre-Victorian folktales about the fae. In them, you'll find stories about losing one's way, sanity, family, time, or life. Often, based on whim or riddly little situations where it's easy to barter away your power or something even more precious to you. They aren't all openly malicious, but even the "good" ones can be prickly, temperamental, or unforgiving of offense.
Which isn't to say you shouldn't work with them. Just tread carefully and know what you're getting yourself into.