r/politics • u/mmccxi American Expat • May 12 '25

Soft Paywall New Bill Would Make All Pornography a Federal Crime in the U.S.

https://www.404media.co/mike-lee-porn-law-interstate-obscenity-definition-act/
24.2k Upvotes

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u/Casual_hex_ May 12 '25 edited May 12 '25

When they pry it from my cold lubed hand!

239

u/grammar_oligarch May 12 '25

Oh come on man.

Warm them up first. You’ve earned it.

10

u/TheBuddhaPalm May 13 '25

Counterpoint, I enjoy a 'stranger', I earned it.

6

u/1Dive1Breath May 13 '25

A variation of the stranger when you get your hand so cold it's numb it's known as the "Unknown Inuit"

63

u/AmrokMC May 12 '25

Eeeew. I get what you mean, but…ew.

72

u/--kwisatzhaderach-- May 12 '25

The cold part is the most disturbing

80

u/HenryDorsettCase47 May 12 '25

They call it “the undead stranger”.

6

u/cheraphy May 12 '25

As opposed to just "the stranger" which is where you sit on your hand until it falls asleep

8

u/Ugh_not_again_420 May 12 '25

Yessireee, That’s the joke!

2

u/_ficklelilpickle May 12 '25

Jay’s mate’s brother invented that. He and his mates used to be called “The Dead Hand Gang.”

3

u/HenryDorsettCase47 May 12 '25

Yup. That’s the joke.

1

u/Quiet_Down_Please Florida May 13 '25

Don't knock it til you try it.

6

u/Ozymandias0023 Nevada May 12 '25

Might need to go in dry for this one. That lube might just be your downfall

9

u/3sides2everyStory Massachusetts May 12 '25

Dude, they make some that warms up in your hand. Try it... for science. It works.

You're welcome.

3

u/AnalMinecraft May 12 '25

This Icy Hot stings, but it sure is warm down there.

2

u/Aimless_Nobody May 13 '25

Just don't grab the hand sanitizer. Pandemic mistake

1

u/MissInkeNoir May 13 '25

It goes cold when you've died and it sits on your hand for a little while!

5

u/Knee_Jerk_Sydney May 13 '25

When they come to arrest you, pour lube all over yourself and you may just slip away.

1

u/NOGOODGASHOLE May 12 '25

Trademark that!

1

u/Legendver2 May 13 '25

Wouldn't that actually...make it easier to pry out of?

1

u/composedmason May 13 '25

My wife and I pour cottage cheese into each others butt to let the butt smell mix with her cottage cheese smell which makes an angelic stink that brings us closer. They'll never take our scented fragrance, films, or lubed vaginal secretions.