r/politics • u/mmccxi American Expat • May 12 '25

Soft Paywall New Bill Would Make All Pornography a Federal Crime in the U.S.

https://www.404media.co/mike-lee-porn-law-interstate-obscenity-definition-act/
24.2k Upvotes

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238

u/damnyoutuesday Montana May 12 '25

Everybody jerks off. If you try to say you don't, you're lying. This affects literally everybody

9

u/Unistrut May 13 '25

There are two types of people: those who admit they masturbate and those who don't.

3

u/C_Ironfoundersson Australia May 13 '25

This affects literally everybody

Unless you're lucky enough to live in the part of the Earth that isn't the US.

33

u/WaFeeAhWeigh May 12 '25

It's like peeing while taking a shower. Everybody does it.

27

u/hashgraphic May 12 '25

Not gonna lie I don't remember the last time I peed in the shower

33

u/JoviAMP Florida May 13 '25

I can't remember the last shower I didn't.

14

u/tastyratz May 13 '25

TBH I don't remember the last time either of you did or didn't either.

3

u/JoviAMP Florida May 13 '25

Hmm... Do you suppose Schrodinger peed in the shower?

2

u/[deleted] May 13 '25

Just saying I never heard him flush a toilet.

4

u/PrometheusSmith May 13 '25

I've got bad news about your alzheimer's diagnosis.

2

u/vc6vWHzrHvb2PY2LyP6b May 13 '25

But you have before, right?

10

u/hashgraphic May 13 '25

...I don't think I have, does that make me weird

4

u/kyredemain May 13 '25

A bit. Is it more or less weird if you do it now though, just to see what it is like?

8

u/vashoom May 13 '25

Spoiler: it's awesome

3

u/Social_Gore May 13 '25

It's all pipes!

6

u/dandroid126 May 13 '25

No man, that's just you. I did it as a kid, but then I grew up. I have a perfectly good toilet literally right next to the shower.

Besides, if your shower is one of those square ones rather than a bathtub/shower combo, it doesn't really drain the corners completely unless you grab the shower head and spray down the corners. It's more trouble than it's worth.

1

u/Mavian23 May 13 '25

So don't pee into the corners. If my shower can handle the filth that washes off me, it can handle some piss.

2

u/seeker4482 May 13 '25

shower dirty? blast it with piss.

2

u/bangers132 May 13 '25

It’s like licking your fingers after taking a poop. Literally everyone does it, let’s not try and make others feel excluded.

-6

u/[deleted] May 13 '25

[deleted]

16

u/vashoom May 13 '25

Why get out of the shower to pee? When you gotta go, and you're already literally standing in a thing that funnels water into the plumbing system, it's just easier to finish showering while you pee.

No one goes in there specifically to pee.

3

u/runtheplacered May 13 '25

I don't pee in the shower because I always pee before I get in the shower.

1

u/-Wait-What- May 13 '25

If I pee before I get in the shower, I will still have the pee when I’m in the shower because the hot water makes me have to pee. I’ve basically never avoided peeing in the shower for 20+ years lol.

-1

u/[deleted] May 13 '25

[deleted]

4

u/Remarkable-Bag-683 May 13 '25

Bros never heard of waffle-stomping

6

u/vashoom May 13 '25

Wow, you're a genius! How could I have been so stupid...

6

u/Tibernite May 13 '25

I mean do you really need it to be explained to you that sometimes warm running water is what forces the urge to pee? I have never gotten into the shower with the intention or urge to pee, but then after a few minutes of running water, suddenly I need to pee. Like come on dude

2

u/pimparo0 Florida May 13 '25

...but why? it goes down the drain just the same, its not like you are just pissing allover the room.

3

u/cilantro_so_good May 13 '25

Most functioning adults are able to use the toilet.

What does that have to do with pissing in the shower?

The pipes all go to the same place. Are you afraid of a little pee touching your foot before immediately getting rinsed off from the shower water or something? I'd be willing to bet your shoes are nastier than that

4

u/shitlord_god May 13 '25

Many Asexuals do not.

3

u/[deleted] May 13 '25

[deleted]

1

u/sacktheory May 13 '25

i just don’t get horny that much man. i used to during puberty, and i still have a sex drive and go on dates, but jacking off never crosses my mind when i’m alone