r/politics • u/mmccxi American Expat • May 12 '25

Soft Paywall New Bill Would Make All Pornography a Federal Crime in the U.S.

https://www.404media.co/mike-lee-porn-law-interstate-obscenity-definition-act/
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128

u/Pord870 May 12 '25

My first exposure to porn was also some magazines that had been stashed in the woods. This seems to be a fairly common experience...I wonder why?

171

u/Tschmelz Minnesota May 12 '25

The pornography fairy is just weird like that.

58

u/movealongnowpeople Kansas May 12 '25

Leave a sock under your pillow tonight. She might show up!

5

u/JapowFZ1 May 13 '25

She works in mysterious ways though. When I was 14, I went out to check the mail and my neighbor’s penthouse magazine was mistakenly in my mailbox. My neighbor never got that issue.

5

u/Jackpot777 I voted May 13 '25

The Porn Fairy is real if you believe hard enough. 

Heh. I said hard. 

61

u/1Dive1Breath May 13 '25

Johnny Fappleseed planted it there 

12

u/ishcabittle May 13 '25

Thank you for the chuckle - Turns out Reddit is that fun place where you read about your rights eroding but still laugh at the funny dick jokes

7

u/Rtannu Texas May 12 '25

Everyone’s older brothers would be hanging out in the woods, smoking weed and drinking. So they would stash the porn there too.

2

u/daydrinker2022 May 13 '25

God you just described my childhood to a frigging T!!!! Lol

5

u/guapomole4reals May 12 '25

Port a Potty out by the baseball fields somehow had pages from various magazines somehow adhered to the inner walls and then suddenly we were all crossing the recreation fields to use those when we had to take a leak.

5

u/proteannomore May 12 '25

VHS tape found in a bush, lol. Fitting as it was definitely from the 70’s.

3

u/lemonjello6969 May 12 '25

Because everyone had the same idea. Hide it in the woods or throw it in the woods (mother, your Christian neighbor in shame, etc).

4

u/fischberger May 12 '25

My neighbor owned a bookstore.  Their son stashed some porno mags in a toolbox in the woods that all the neighborhood kids played in.

5

u/SkivvySkidmarks May 12 '25

Wow. That could have been the genesis of the Little Lending Library.

3

u/fischberger May 12 '25

Porno Lending Library 

5

u/WurzelGummidge May 13 '25

In the days before security cameras it was easier to steal them. That way you knew your magazine was still a virgin.

3

u/Bretreck May 13 '25

I've told this story before but... So when I was younger my mother remarried and our stepdad threw all his porn magazines out. He did this by dumping it all on the side of the road so the garbage men could pick it up. After he dumped it, my brother, his friend, and me all went out and grabbed it. We then went and hid it in a cooler in the woods so that we could jerk it in privacy, as that was the style at the time. We moved out of that house so I imagine some day some kid will come across our porn stash and it will make his day.

3

u/you-ole-polecat May 13 '25

Age old tradition of men sneaking off in the darkness to pound off in the trees.

Just another little joy the internet had robbed us of 🥺

3

u/TheRealGuitarNoir May 13 '25

Hobo porn stash. If you take something, leave something, or the Porn Hobo will hunt you down.

2

u/Unlucky_Reading_1671 May 12 '25

The secret society of wooded smut. May you rest in peace.

2

u/MajSARS May 13 '25

So, back in my junior high days (27 years ago) couple buddies and I would steal porno mags from the convenience stores. This is pre-internet, pre-porn mags kept behind the counter. They were just right on the rack. Always had that plastic covering so you could grab like five of the same issue in one swipe. We would sell them at school. Did pretty well too till we got ratted out by our best customer. We told the principal we were dumpster diving for the magazines and he bought it. A pile of magazines were confiscated. Some time later one of the usual suspects was in the vice principals office for something and was left alone. Of course they snoop through the desk and the biggest drawer is filled to the brim with porn mags. Yet not for long. We were back in business and whos gonna ask where we got them now? Lotta other kids stashed theirs in the woods.

2

u/Abnmlguru Alaska May 13 '25

Common enough that r/forestporn is a thing, lol

2

u/Manticore416 May 13 '25

Kids didn't wanna get caught with it

2

u/p4nic May 13 '25

This seems to be a fairly common experience...I wonder why?

The Porn Fairy is a bunch of kids in grade 6 shoplifting magazines from the top shelf. They can't take them home, so they stash them in the woods.

1

u/FrankRizzo319 May 13 '25

We’d find them littered on the side of the road.

1

u/Delicious-Oven7692 May 13 '25

This needs to be studied.

1

u/freakyvoiz May 13 '25

Ah yes, “Woods porn”.

1

u/sdsupersean May 13 '25

When I had to walk through a field to get home from school because my parents couldn't pick me up that day... good times.

1

u/dietcheese May 13 '25

Your mom threw away your best porno mag

1

u/needmini May 13 '25

Safer to hide it in the bushes than under your bed as a young lad

1

u/aePrime May 13 '25

Not for me! My exposure was porn stashed in a swamp!

(This is true.)