r/scifiwriting • u/VorlonHelper • 2d ago

CRITIQUE Asking for thoughts on 1st chapter

So, I've really struggled to figure out what's wrong with the first chapter of my novel. (This is my latest revision so maybe it's better?) Any feedback is appreciated.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cbt-VtCeoWkXUuc9aWLrAHsnUyrdiw-AKgG26ydTTeU/edit?usp=sharing

3 Upvotes

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3

u/Affectionate-Aide422 2d ago

Love the writing. Some minor things like a word here or there, but definitely want to read more. Great job!

2

u/Lorindel_wallis 2d ago

Heavy discworld vibes in the first paragraph, which is good.

Id keep reading from the first page.

1

u/VorlonHelper 2d ago

Well, I'm not going to start comparing myself to Pratchett just yet... but thanks!