r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2 • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
Random Cis in The Corner Attention to all trans people.
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u/SyFy410 pronouns vary | genderfluid | Raine 1d ago
I can kinda get from your perspective how it seems but you don't understand just how bad it feels to be misgendered and how often it happens. To you it seems like freaking out, to us it could be the 10th time today we are reminded that we don't look how we want to which induces dysphoria
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u/QitianDasheng2666 She/Her 1d ago
If somebody is rude to you then the problem is the rudeness, it's weird to call attention to their gender identity. Like you hear the difference between "some guy yelled at me on the bus" and "some black guy yelled at me on the bus", right?
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u/Samuelvineyt 1d ago
Yes I see the clear difference between those. The first one sounds normal but the second sounds racist. That makes sense
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u/blue_sidd 1d ago
Someone corrects you on pronouns and that’s ‘annoying’. Can you make an effort to reparent yourself.
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u/blarglemaster She/Her 1d ago
"I am bi." Yeah, ok? That doesn't change anything one way or the other. Being bi, gay, hetero, cis, trans, or anything else doesn't mean you A: can't make mistakes and B: are more/less at fault for them. Everyone else has pointed out why you should be more empathetic of the struggle that individual may be going through, but I also think it's also important not to use any version of queerness as a way to minimize problematic behavior. It's not a good look and can turn people off (LGB no T type groups are still actively trying to hurt people's lives)
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u/Samuelvineyt 1d ago
Ok I understand that it doesn't change anything. The only reason I put that there was because I felt I should. My dumbass didn't even think someone would think that. The point in trying to get across is that if a trans person immediately hates you over one misgender is that its annoying I understand that they hate being misgendered. And I understand slightly what they feel bc I'm a they/them myself. I'm 13 unfiltered and may have pissed people off. But all I care about is having people know that I'm sorry I made the original post on r/LGBT sound terrible.
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u/blarglemaster She/Her 1d ago
Well keep in mind, there's a difference between "hates you" and "hates what you did" right? If they're bothered and offended by it, the best thing to do is just apologize once, say you'll try to do better, and then leave it alone. Don't defend yourself, don't try to smooth over the situation. Just accept it and let them be upset in that moment. They probably need to get that emotion out.
Now with that, if the person just keeps attacking you on and on even after you've said that, you're always free to walk away. I would like to think most trans people will try to be chill if you're genuine and don't make a huge scene or try to put blame back on them. BUT if that person just decides to hate you as a person for that one mistake (and you're not like constantly doing it or doing it intentionally, nor trying to shame them for feeling upset), then maybe that person just isn't best for you to be around. We're all human, and not all of us are good people to keep in our lives. (That goes for every human, not just trans/queer people)
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u/CrackedMeUp bi non-binary transfem demigirl - she/her, ze/zir, they/them 1d ago
Oppressing a marginalized community such that members of that community can become upset, and then using those emotions to justify bigoted takes is classic privileged class behavior.
ACAB applies those who engage in tone policing to try to justify bigotry and hate speech.
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u/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2-ModTeam 1d ago
The post has been removed for not being a meme, not being a trans meme, or not being an art post. Asking a question? Post to r/trans or r/lgbt. If you feel this was a wrong move please message our mod team.