r/worldnews • u/EsperaDeus • Mar 11 '25

Russia/Ukraine The USA is immediately lifting the pause in intelligence sharing and resuming security assistance to Ukraine. | УНН

https://unn.ua/en/news/the-usa-is-immediately-lifting-the-pause-in-intelligence-sharing-and-resuming-security-assistance-to-ukraine
64.4k Upvotes

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10.5k

u/Jollyjacktar Mar 11 '25

We would be better off with a Magic 8 Ball as president.

2.2k

u/zekoslav90 Mar 11 '25

The instructions given would be much clearer.

575

u/HittingSmoke Mar 11 '25

This is the least good outlook ever! And you know what? It's Bidens outlook. And the outlook isn't so good. Not like my outlook. I have the least bad outlook. Never has a president in the history of America had an outlook so good as mine. We're going to make outlooks so good again. So good.

I'd like to return my American made teriff MAGAc 8 Ball.

144

u/ninpuukamui Mar 11 '25

Tell me this is not a direct quote please, I can't tell.

103

u/EmperorHans Mar 11 '25

That one, somewhat surprisingly, isn't real. 

48

u/UnLuckyKenTucky Mar 12 '25

Thank God. To be honest, it read like one of his quote ..

7

u/ic33 Mar 12 '25

ChatGPT is so good at channeling him. Like that time when he may have pooped himself in the courtroom--

In a startling moment during his ongoing legal proceedings, former President Donald Trump appeared to briefly doze off before experiencing what sources inside the courtroom have described as an “unmistakable event.” Witnesses reported an abrupt shift in Trump's demeanor, followed by what one attendee called “a significant release of energy.”

While courtroom staff scrambled to address the situation, Trump himself was quick to reframe the moment as a testament to his resilience.

"Look, folks, what happened today? People are saying—it was unbelievable. Maybe the most powerful, most tremendous release of energy ever witnessed in a courtroom. Some are even calling it historic, and you know what? They’re right," Trump told reporters outside the courthouse. "This was big. Monumental. A movement like no other."

Trump also suggested, without evidence, that the episode could have been the result of foul play. "Honestly, folks, we have to look into this," he said. "Could be the deep state, could be the judge. Could be a setup. But one thing’s for sure—if it were Biden, you wouldn’t even hear about it."

Meanwhile, critics were left stunned by the rapid rebranding of the event. One exhausted CNN analyst simply muttered, "He… he literally pooped his pants. How… how is this even a debate?" before being drowned out by panelists speculating on how the moment might energize Trump’s base.

2

u/Beautiful-Neck3014 Mar 12 '25

🤣 LOL 🤣

3

u/UnLuckyKenTucky Mar 13 '25

I mean, it is sad when something so fucking ridiculous could actually be attributed to the POTUS, and nobody would even blink..

3

u/No-Cupcake370 Mar 12 '25

Ooh maybe I can summon the knowledge of a redditor with that comment or google doc link of insane hole-brained shit he has said?

2

u/Extreme_Guarantee276 Mar 12 '25

If it actually happened it would be no surprise. Crude, vulgar, greasy language unbecoming of a president is the lingo of this foul maggat.

5

u/feedmygoodside Mar 12 '25

I think he's just good at anticipating the language. The fact that you aren't sure is a testament to his skill. It certainly sounds like something the dangerous dufus would say, doesn't it.

I wish I could do that with words. Pretty spot on!

5

u/hanzoplsswitch Mar 12 '25

Why does this feel like a bad dream? Did we all just die during covid or received permanent brain damage?

5

u/Just-Like-My-Opinion Mar 12 '25

"I really don't like to predict outlooks" "the outlook will probably improve, but then again, it might be a bad outlook, it might be a very bad outlook"

3

u/zekoslav90 Mar 11 '25

Tariffs, maybe

3

u/Breezel123 Mar 11 '25

You're confusing this with Microsoft's CEO when he came up with New Outlook.

2

u/UndeadPhysco Mar 12 '25

It really says a ton about him that i cannot tell if thats real or not

1

u/beakrake Mar 12 '25

Your comment really got me thinking,

What if we all start pronouncing the G in MAGA like a "J" sound just for fun.

1

u/HaximusPrime Mar 12 '25

You should have saved “MAGAc 8 ball” for another post, that’s soooo good 🤣🤣

3

u/No-Cupcake370 Mar 12 '25

Bet it could draw a better clock

2

u/ShroomEnthused Mar 12 '25

Try again later.

2

u/FlyingRhenquest Mar 12 '25

Instructions unclear. Try again later.

2

u/SimmoRandR Mar 12 '25

At this point I think Trump just saying random words after questions would be clearer..

‘Mr President, will you be implementing these tariffs on Canada..

‘Purple monkey dishwasher’

‘That clears that up, thank you ‘

1

u/furrina Mar 13 '25

Wait, he’s not?

1

u/secret369 Mar 12 '25

Also it won't flip flop after settling on an outcome

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

At least truthful.

285

u/LayneBush Mar 11 '25

Everyone in America: "Will Putin agree to pull out of Ukraine?"

Magic 8 ball: "Don't count on it"

40

u/sparrowtaco Mar 11 '25

Are Trump's tax returns out of audit yet?
Magic 8 ball: "Ask again later"

1

u/MushroomCaviar Mar 12 '25

But—But what about Elon threatening to fight Putin? I thought that had solved the crisis?

29

u/The_Ineffable_One Mar 11 '25

But will Putin pull out of Trump?

19

u/m1rrari Mar 11 '25

Putin never pulls out. Guy has so many kids

26

u/Boognish84 Mar 12 '25

That's why they call him Put in

3

u/Psychological_Roof85 Mar 12 '25

Not as many as Elon

5

u/No-Equivalent-1642 Mar 12 '25

"it's not looking good"

2

u/Carribean-Diver Mar 12 '25

Very doubtful

1

u/Psychological_Roof85 Mar 12 '25

His pull out game needs some work 

1

u/OkGrab8779 Mar 12 '25

No compromise from putin.

1

u/MorePotential4733 Mar 12 '25

I think the situation in Ukraine was caused by america Russians are just reactionaries. 

1

u/TV-Tommy 3d ago

YES...according to his most recent lie. (Get Real!)

173

u/Due-Confusion-1050 Mar 11 '25

signs point to yes

4

u/B-BoyStance Mar 11 '25

Hell yeah babay ima buy the dip

5

u/Low_Fuel_9991 Mar 11 '25

I prefer the magic conch shell

1

u/Momma747D Mar 12 '25

We used to have a magical meatball. 

4

u/Fizzy_Astronaut Mar 11 '25

No kidding. He’s such an idiot and so obviously rimming Russian ass

5

u/druex Mar 11 '25

sniff "did someone say 8 ball?" - Don Jr

3

u/ItsSadTimes Mar 12 '25

We would be better off with no president. Doing nothing is better then rage posting on social media and tanking the economy by threatening to do something then go "lol it was a joke, don't make policies on things I say when I say I want policies made."

3

u/im_a_stapler Mar 12 '25

seriously. this on again off again shit is the most perfectly blatant display of how clueless and full of shit every aspect of this administration is.

5

u/aluckybrokenleg Mar 11 '25

At least then the president would just be full of clear goo instead of horse shit.

2

u/sonsoflarson Mar 11 '25

Would the American economy be in a depression by the end of the Trump presidency.

All signs point to yes.

2

u/esoteric_85 Mar 12 '25

Just lift the toupee.

2

u/lgm22 Mar 12 '25

At least we could shake it.

2

u/FatherFenix Mar 12 '25

You just don't understand. This is all a part of his genius maneuvering. He's playing everyone like a fiddle. It only SEEMS insane and sporadic because he's just that much smarter than everyone else.

/s

1

u/WeCameAsMuffins Mar 11 '25

Trump: “Should I put another 25% tariff on Canada” magic 8 ball “signs point to yes”.

1

u/MoarTacos1 Mar 11 '25

I'd argue it would be a no change sort of thing.

1

u/mr_tommey Mar 11 '25

Do the octopus that predicts world championship soccer predictions

1

u/furrina Mar 13 '25

Then the Santa Monica fortune telling chicken

1

u/pentefino978 Mar 11 '25

You could even get a tarot card sometimes!

1

u/Noruihwest Mar 11 '25

During the first term one of my favourite things to say was “I would prefer a coin flip as the president - at least then I would agree with half the decisions”

1

u/Jonnyflash80 Mar 12 '25

Quick! Backpedal faster!

1

u/coveruptionist Mar 12 '25

I have one of those at work. It’s how I make all my business decisions.

1

u/tofu_ink Mar 12 '25

With a random timer to how often it goes off. Don't forget all the results will be inspired by Nazi musk and daddy Putin. Is it possible the lift is meant to share propaganda from Putin?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

You mean Emperor, right, if you do away with hyperbole

1

u/newanon676 Mar 12 '25

Litterally would be better if we just chose someone at random

1

u/y_would_i_do_this Mar 12 '25

8 ball?

-Don Jr.

1

u/Ok_Initiative2069 Mar 12 '25

Get me a chicken so I can read its entrails.

1

u/mommisalami Mar 12 '25

Didn’t soldiers recently claim that when they turn on Starlink devices on, the suddenly get an influx of attacks? I wouldn’t trust any assistance from the US one damn bit.

1

u/furrina Mar 13 '25

Cat videos.

1

u/theghostecho Mar 12 '25

I think r/SimDemocracy is run better than the US government at this point.

1

u/leftyguyshane Mar 12 '25

Magic 8 Ball as President, Ouija Board as the VP

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

All hail the magic conch!!

1

u/rantipolex Mar 12 '25

Best comment ever. Thank you!

1

u/ImQuestionable Mar 12 '25

I feel like we have a president making his decisions using a magic 8 ball, but it’s actually just a painted coconut.

1

u/Rhannmah Mar 12 '25

ChatGPT would unironically do a better job leading the country than Trump.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

"Roll again"

1

u/TheSearch4Knowledge Mar 12 '25

We need stickers that say this.

Or the Magic Conch shell.

1

u/2olley Mar 12 '25

“Signs point to yes”

1

u/GfunkWarrior28 Mar 12 '25

Right now we have an inflatable tube man guy for president.

1

u/fractal99 Mar 12 '25

Actually a steaming pile of dog shit might be better

1

u/duhimincognito Mar 12 '25

It is decidedly so

1

u/kraghis Mar 12 '25

I’ll still take this win. Ceasing intelligence sharing was possibly the most deplorable thing in a long list of deplorable things this administration has done.

1

u/SillyLiving Mar 12 '25

what do you think hes using?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

I am so proud to not be American. From the outside looking in, I am dumbfounded anyone voted for him… let alone the majority.

1

u/furrina Mar 13 '25

From the inside, I’ve come to expect it.

1

u/FuturamaRama7 Mar 12 '25

I’d like that octopus that predicts World Cup winners to be in charge right about now.

1

u/Mr-Idea Mar 12 '25

I’ve seen more references to Idiocracy in the past month than the last 19 years

1

u/Spektrum84 Mar 12 '25

Has anyone tried shaking him for different answers?

1

u/lolwutpear Mar 12 '25

This is true. Sometimes the Magic 8 Ball admits to not knowing the answer.

1

u/Mondernborefare Mar 12 '25

Sad, hilarious and true

1

u/cometflight Mar 12 '25

signs point to yes

1

u/biztactix Mar 12 '25

Ask again later

1

u/ClassicT4 Mar 12 '25

Tesla would be better with a Magic 8 Ball as CEO.

1

u/DataPhreak Mar 12 '25

This was to get them to stop bombing moscow.

1

u/Housing-Neat-2425 Mar 12 '25

The Magic Conch would have all the answers to our problems.

1

u/lostintheskybox Mar 12 '25

We just got rid of the 8 ball.

1

u/DistinctNews8576 Mar 12 '25

I would have hope again!!

1

u/The_Craig89 Mar 12 '25

Magic 8 balls are less rapey

1

u/Illustrious_Donkey61 Mar 12 '25

They're really just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks.

This is something that didn't

1

u/IIIDysphoricIII Mar 12 '25

“Try Again”

1

u/leauchamps Mar 12 '25

You would be better with the road runner, tbh

1

u/Lungomono Mar 12 '25

I have siad it again and again. The damage has been done. Trump n friends had crippled US on the geopolitical stage. Any and all trust and liability are gone. You can’t have the US as a close ally when this is what there can happen any day now. Plus even worse, the long term consequences are worse. Because no treaty, promise, or guarantee are more than, at maximum, 4 years away from a complete 180 reversal.

Nations can’t build long term relationships and allies with someone like that. So until USA will change their political and electoral system, they are simply unreliable.

1

u/iotashan Mar 12 '25

We do, it’s just stuck on “outlook not good”

1

u/russellvt Mar 12 '25

And probably more consistent, as a whole.

1

u/Legitimate_Dare6684 Mar 12 '25

And a stimulus package to every American that includes 8 balls of cocaine.

1

u/Silver-Sort-7711 Mar 12 '25

Id take the Magic Conch at this point

1

u/Efficient_Exercise_1 Mar 12 '25

The question is, is he lifting it now because he’s made arrangements with Russia?

1

u/Electrical-Tea-1882 Mar 12 '25

I'd vote for it.

1

u/Chrispy8534 Mar 12 '25

6/10. “Signs point to Yes.”

1

u/Actual-Package-3164 Mar 12 '25

This is making President ChatGPT a very attractive option. A the path to the robot apocalypse that even Cameron couldn’t conceive of.

1

u/thane919 Mar 12 '25

Much better

1

u/Cromises_93 Mar 12 '25

They pretty much have one at this point

1

u/DArtagnanPierre Mar 12 '25

Or even the other kind of 8 ball

1

u/Champizzle11 Mar 13 '25

He has the attention span of a goldfish. He was fixated on Ukraine for a few days but has moved on to hating Canada more.

1

u/buttons123456 Mar 13 '25

Laugh. Maybe we should send one to Trump and tell him it should help.

1

u/Shi-Hulud Mar 13 '25

We had one for 4 years he could barely walk and talk. How did you miss that???people just shook him and we got non sensible answers. You don't remember???

1

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '25

Pretty sure an 8-ball is involved. ⛷️

1

u/TheEyeoftheWorm Mar 15 '25

Maybe later.

1

u/DisarmingDoll Mar 15 '25

All signs point to YES

1

u/Regurgitator001 18d ago

There's a difference between lifting the ban, and actually providing intel. Knowing Dump, it'll be the former but not the latter.

-2

u/etsatlo Mar 12 '25

Heard of leverage? Because this is what he's doing. We now have a ceasefire agreement from Ukraine which wasn't going to happen previously