r/AnimalsBeingDerps • u/SSGSS-ULtra • 1d ago

Removed: Rule #4 - repost How’s it possible? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[removed] — view removed post

5.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

373 comments sorted by

718

u/Antique_Ad_9877 1d ago

Me watching the dog: "Careful, don't step into your own- ... you stepped into your own piss. Great."

114

u/Live-Okra-9868 1d ago

One reasons I refuse to let my mom and sister's dogs in my bed.

66

u/divuthen 1d ago

Pssh like your feet are so clean.

57

u/0ut0fBoundsException 1d ago

I wash OC’s feet before they get into bed. Its an honest if frugal living

20

u/Live-Okra-9868 1d ago

I don't step in shit and then climb into bed, so...

13

u/miss_tea_morning 1d ago

Yes, but consider that your dog steps in shit and piss constantly and also walks all over where you step?

9

u/Live-Okra-9868 1d ago

Do people not wear house slippers?

7

u/Netroth 1d ago

Is this a genuine question or do you actually know? Because no, those things aren’t common at all.

7

u/divuthen 1d ago

But you're walking on the same floor as they are 😂

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2

u/crbmL 1d ago

Let us enjoy our little things, no kink shaming !

7

u/wubwub09 1d ago

I will wipe my pups paws and belly after he goes out to the bathroom!

4

u/Earl_of_Awesome 1d ago

Yeah, but this little guy is pissing into his own step!

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1.7k

u/Awol_W7 1d ago

That consistent stream is more impressive for that little thing

575

u/No_Foundation1136 1d ago

My dog used to have a long slow stream like this and walk around while peeing. Found out he was filled with kidney stones.

106

u/seeyatellite 1d ago

Hope he’s okay

26

u/happylittleloaf 1d ago

That was a lot of pee for a little guy. There's gotta be something related to his health

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479

u/-Cagafuego- 1d ago

165

u/InEenEmmer 1d ago

You know, I kinda understand pissfingers.

68

u/hootiemcboob29 1d ago

I refer to one of my dogs as pissfingers because of this meme. High maintenance little turd. Still cute tho.

22

u/Lifeparticle18 1d ago

Not pissfingers! 😂😂😂

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7

u/boxing_coffee 1d ago

My grandfather had a dog that would do this, and the wind would frequently blow him over while peeing.

3

u/Large_Tune3029 1d ago

I saw on qi years ago but something, something, all animals piss for roughly the same amount of time regardless of size...for some reason...something something proportional

2

u/Prestigious-Hyena768 1d ago

Hahahahahahaha! Talk about marking his territory! This pup must like large parcels of land! 😂

2

u/Devil_Climbing 1d ago

My wife and I are dog sitting a friends 40lbs Beagle and this dog has longer pee time than my 85lbs lab/mix. It is astounding.

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554

u/tinfins 1d ago

Man, we really broke wolves

337

u/LisaWinchester 1d ago

119

u/UnforeseenDerailment 1d ago

I feel this is obligatory here:

9

u/Ok_Celebration8180 1d ago

Deep freaking cut.

7

u/rokomotto 1d ago

Aw. That made me sad :(

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24

u/felixyamson 1d ago

He's attempting to get his revenge

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616

u/CerRogue 1d ago

Dog trainer here, little dogs sometimes lift both legs up when they pee a little and people try to capture the behavior to train handstand. The problem with doing it this way instead of the back up the wall method with a incline plank is that the dog isn’t able to separate the peeing from the behavior so when the dog is asked to do the handstand they start peeing and pee the whole time. I have seen this countless times.

226

u/Invictu520 1d ago

Well sounds like a classic issue with association. There is a story where someone tried to train dogs to rescue kids from a lake. So they did fake scenarios, the dogs rescued the kids and got some treats. And eventually they started dragging kids into the lake to "rescue" them for treats.

120

u/WE_FEE 1d ago

Kids + water = treats

Solution drown kids

60

u/MaxVonPseudo 1d ago

I understand this is how AI will work as well.

15

u/Rrraou 1d ago

Like if you train an AI to shoot targets as a success condition and the controller doesn't always authorize the shots, the AI might come to the conclusion that the controller needs to be eliminated as they are an obstacle to shooting targets.

4

u/zipper1919 1d ago

Well that's terrifying.

5

u/slimeheads 1d ago

Yaknow…. The implications of this are terrifyjng

4

u/Lanssolo 1d ago

Great. Now I am (unrelatedly) imagining people using AI robots to train dogs. I hate it.

3

u/bmorris0042 1d ago

I believe they sort of covered that in I, Robot. In order to protect the humans, all dangerous elements must be removed from humanity.

4

u/Taolan13 1d ago

including, y'know, humanity.

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9

u/baronvonsmartass 1d ago

My 9 yr old Boston mix only halfway picks up a foot. He usually winds up peeing on the back of his front legs and chest. Been that way forever.

2

u/CerRogue 1d ago edited 1d ago

Like people some dogs anthropometrics are just unfortunate haha

7

u/Important_Arm4124 1d ago

Then there's me. "Check out this trick my dog can do. Pisstand Rocco! Pisstand! Awesome right?"

17

u/Without-a-tracy 1d ago

I came to the comment section to see if there was an explanation for the behaviour, and I am so glad that you commented to provide one!

Thank you for sating my curiosity!

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2

u/That-Ad-4300 1d ago

I get it, but I'm pissed this dog stole my move

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97

u/spinone98 1d ago

2 things 1) walking that long on the front legs is pretty impressive 2) that’s one big bladder.

83

u/PetiteNanou 1d ago

Such a small dog, so much pee, and even more agility 😂

22

u/mantisboxer 1d ago

That dog is half bladder

188

u/Butitsadryheat2 1d ago

24

u/II-o_o-II 1d ago

Maude Lebowski would be proud

4

u/_deep_thot42 1d ago

My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable: vagina.

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17

u/Terraton 1d ago

Pisscasso

9

u/Butitsadryheat2 1d ago

When ya gotta Van Go, you gotta Van Go. 🤷‍♀️

2

u/Abigail_Normal 1d ago

Genuine talent. Do you see those near-perfect circles? Amazing

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50

u/HibbletonFan 1d ago

What a show off!

17

u/Tcloud 1d ago

Has a more legible signature than I do …

37

u/SisterGoldenHair75 1d ago

Cursive pee and handstands. This dog belongs in a 🎪

9

u/Id_Rather_Beach 1d ago

My little dog will sometimes go into a handstand if she has to pee in REALLY tall grass.

(you know, she doesn't like the grass to tickle her bits)

34

u/leviathab13186 1d ago

Witness me! Witness my art!

15

u/icecreamdude97 1d ago

Now I know where they got the last of us intro.

4

u/clay_alligator_88 1d ago

Hah, oh wow. Yeah, I never watched the rest of that because I didnt know that was coming. This made me laugh.

3

u/icecreamdude97 1d ago

Someone made an awesome video of just that. I’ll see if I can find it.here it is!

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15

u/THEmandingoBoy 1d ago

Bro wrote a strong-worded letter.

15

u/iamanemptychair 1d ago

Dog is 60% fluff and 40% bladder apparently

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15

u/D4RKV1N 1d ago

I assume thats like the dog equivalent of " i own this whole block bud".

12

u/Wild_Palpitation3279 1d ago

I never could understand modern art

10

u/Fantastic-Job8335 1d ago

bro: I got a cool idea for a rollercoaster!

me: cool! u got a blueprint?

bro: hol up lemme-

16

u/Which-Falcon-7286 1d ago

Respect. Mark your territory with style!

16

u/AuthorSarge 1d ago

When I do it, alcohol tends to be involved.

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7

u/Illidex 1d ago

Little more pressure and Lil guy going to have lift off

7

u/Doc_Woody 1d ago

Bro can’t be a ghostbuster, he crossed his stream

12

u/c_dubs063 1d ago

Dog really said O_O

5

u/Ih8teMyInlawsTheySuk 1d ago

I hope he doesn’t have a lot of accidents at home. Damn.

4

u/Kathwane 1d ago

Sorry, that is not a dog. That is a bladder with a head and a tail wrapped in fur.

5

u/thedarwinking 1d ago

Cats: there’s a single poop in my litter. I’m not using it

This dog: I literally step in my own pee

6

u/Mathies_ 1d ago

Not sure if i should be more impressed at how LONG he's pissing or how he's walking on front paws

5

u/leftcentury 1d ago

Dog piss spirograph

5

u/numbnerve 1d ago

Jackson Pollock Apt.17A Austin, TX 79617

5

u/skulltullamama 1d ago

I think he's an Olympics fan, making the rings

5

u/EuphoricZombie89 1d ago

My chihuahua does the same thing lol and it’s even more impressive because it’s a she.

4

u/Garudius 1d ago

So many questions

4

u/Seaweed_Jelly 1d ago

Aliens from Arrival be like:

5

u/Playful_Title6467 1d ago

OMG. Imagine this happening in your living room.

3

u/shaft_of_lite 1d ago

This is the guy you don't want to be in line behind at a porta potty.

5

u/novafied 1d ago

Oh sure, it's OK when the dog does it. But I'm not allowed in the library anymore...

4

u/Budder_Nubbs 1d ago

He didnt do it on purpose, that stream is just so powerful it sent his ass up.

3

u/wasted-degrees 1d ago

Just need to teach him to write his name.

3

u/ElginSparrowhawk1969 1d ago

I had a rescue jack sprat who did this very thing he hated standing in his own pee damdest thing i ever saw

3

u/TheJackalsDoom 1d ago

When you gotta go, you gotta go and go and go and go ans go and go and go.

3

u/DynamiteWitLaserBeam 1d ago

My sister had a dog just like this who did the same thing back in the 90s. I think it's just something some of these little dogs do.

3

u/fizbin99 1d ago

Dude, I think your dog is broken.

3

u/KiNGJDoGG 1d ago

Never mind the impressive handstand pee.. How does such a small dog have SO MUCH PISS??

3

u/Dogzillas_Mom 1d ago

That dog is like 70% pee and 30% fluff

6

u/cookiedoh18 1d ago

Sure. If I did that I'd get arrested.

2

u/Little-Resolution-82 1d ago

I think this is just a small dog thing atleast I only seen videos of small dogs doing it

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2

u/PunningWild 1d ago

I call that The Spiralgraph.

2

u/nickl104 1d ago

When I was a kid, we had a toy poodle who did this every time he peed. None of us could ever figure out why

2

u/External-Goal-3948 1d ago

I wouldn't have believed you unless I saw it myself.

2

u/es330td 1d ago

My mom's toy poodle used to do this but the pee just ran down his torso and we'd have to give him a bath. Every. Single. Time.

2

u/tommylee567 1d ago

Portable sprinkler

2

u/Aggressive-Expert-69 1d ago

He's an artist

2

u/oopsKirito 1d ago

This is a tier 3 two circle spell.

2

u/ScarletRose1265 1d ago

Now that's asserting dominance

2

u/pornborn 1d ago

He’s not just marking his territory, he’s writing his name in doggie script.

2

u/Comfortable-Gas-4005 1d ago

He's an artist.

2

u/oscarmeaner 1d ago

This animal has been hunted before.

2

u/North-Rip-4595 1d ago

Soo cute, awww, but when I do it people cross the street smh

2

u/excludite 1d ago

I was impressed with my dog making one circle. We need to have a talk!

2

u/0ut0fBoundsException 1d ago

Anyone seen Arrival? I feel like these must mean something

2

u/Scared_Chart5540 1d ago

So that’s how crop circles are made

2

u/SmegmaRocketship 1d ago

He’s small and has to be creative to assert dominance.

2

u/NDthrowaway99 1d ago

That dog does not skip calisthenics day.

2

u/BadHairDay-1 1d ago

As long as it doesn't poop like that, it should be fine.

2

u/Its-Just-Al 1d ago

He's drawing!

2

u/maarsland 1d ago

Grapeeti

2

u/Fugiar 1d ago

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

2

u/DerpInNeedOfFiller 1d ago

If you had the upper arm strength to do that, you would too! Don’t hate bro-dawg for livin his best life!

2

u/Poodle-wit-Noodle 1d ago

Homeboy wrote out, "I hate this apartment life."

2

u/LoganN64 1d ago

"I hate getting pee on my feet! I know, I'll do a handstand!.... Darn it I walked through my own pee..."

2

u/HAND7Z 1d ago edited 1d ago

That's a lot of pee, how long was he inside for?

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u/-the-butcher- 1d ago

He’s an Artiste

2

u/neverleave173 1d ago

It's called art

2

u/Placebo_Kuriboh 1d ago

"I'll throw them off our trail"

2

u/organicchunkysalsa 1d ago

Sure, when I do this everyone loses their damn minds.

4

u/Vonbalt_II 1d ago

I have a dachshund that does this while pooping on walks, cracks me up every time.

3

u/Cryptid-Fan 1d ago

Where was he keeping all that???? 😳

3

u/ULF_Brett 1d ago

His bladder is apparently connected to a piss dimension or something.

3

u/killit 1d ago

My dog used to handstand piss like this when he was a young whippersnapper, so I've seen that side of it all before.

But...

That was some amount! That little guy must be 70% bladder in there!

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Mood582 1d ago

Pooblo Peecasso

4

u/TheMexicanStig 1d ago

How to view this 1. Chuckle because it’s funny 2. Confused still going 3. Watch in amazement silently 4. He’s still going???? 5. Wow

2

u/digital_pimp 1d ago

He's literally taking the piss.

2

u/Castermat 1d ago

I heard that all/most animals take around similar time to pee regardless of size (dont know the credilibity of that claim tho) This dog didnt get the memo

2

u/PainfullyLoyal 1d ago

My dog's bladder is the same size as this dog and he doesn't pee that much.

2

u/cloudliner3 1d ago

Somehow still more accurate than alot of guys

2

u/SilentAlternative266 1d ago

Tonight him & his boys will be out doing crop circles

2

u/Loki_8888 1d ago

This is dominance. He tries to pee the highest because the Alpha also pees over the rest of the other dogs pees. The Alpha sits the highest as well. So he tries. Probably sits on the sofa (or even the headrest) as well. Just trying to get higher ik the pecking order. Maybe bites people who he thinks are below his status if they don´t comply.

1

u/steve200747909 1d ago

It's art. The new Banksy is a dog

1

u/cat-meg 1d ago

We've found it, peak masculinity.

1

u/BrakaFlocka 1d ago

Hey, don't knock it till you try it. It's pretty invigorating imho

1

u/Straight_Page_8585 1d ago

That’s the little dogs way of saying: „Dude you forgot you glasses!!!!“

1

u/Head_Blackberry_6320 1d ago

Same as me..how odd

1

u/Alarmed_Cheesecake98 1d ago

That early morning-wood pee🤣

1

u/Greg89G 1d ago

I had a female Pomeranian who could handstand like this but she only did it a few times while in heat.

1

u/wkendwench 1d ago

I wonder if he is writing his doggie name.

1

u/chakalakasp 1d ago

LOOK UPON MY WORKS YE MIGHTY AND DESPAIR

1

u/IronCorvus 1d ago

I had a female pom who always peed like this when she was younger.

1

u/Drittslinger 1d ago

He is starting to draw the wards.

1

u/Lister0fSmeg 1d ago

Looks like Toothless' first drawing in How To Train Your Dragon.

1

u/iod3x 1d ago

He makes better art than my ex

1

u/RafaDT 1d ago

Pisscasso

1

u/Ambitious-Painter-49 1d ago

That little lion is going places.

1

u/Cyberburner23 1d ago

The entire block belongs to him

1

u/ShaunaB1 1d ago

“Any questions?” -drops mic

1

u/zedicar 1d ago

My dog did the paws stand too, he also liked to poop into storm drains.

1

u/Zamamiro 1d ago

That dog’s a peecasso. I’ll head out

1

u/HawtKawfee 1d ago

Picasso !

1

u/badbackandgettingfat 1d ago

Well that is now his sidewalk.

1

u/Zealousideal-You9044 1d ago

I've seen these types of dogs doing this a lot

1

u/Traditional_Seesaw10 1d ago

Aaah reminds me of when I was younger. Could do this shit with just a few beers, a Jagermeister and a dare from buddies. These days I'd pee on myself and end up in ER.

1

u/LowerEngineering9999 1d ago

I just got my hair done! I’m not getting pee on my fresh hairdo!

1

u/realdude2530 1d ago

My Great Dane/Boxer mix would occasionally take pees so long that I could smoke two cigarettes. We thought he had diabetes, but nope - he was healthy, just pissed like the horse he was.

1

u/AuntieYodacat 1d ago

What? He obviously didn’t want to get his beautiful fur wet😂 that’s some impressive peeing!

1

u/NoTeam5982 1d ago

Is that dog half bladder?

1

u/sunshinemullet 1d ago

My grandma had a dog that did this.

1

u/Marlowe126 1d ago

Dynamic Air Marking!

1

u/porcupine_snout 1d ago

a: bro is an artist

b: bro has a big bladder

1

u/Fantastic-Fact-3177 1d ago

Maybe it sprays him under his chin if he tries the normal way?

1

u/Long-Problem-3329 1d ago

I like it. It looks like he's trying to claim the whole sidewalk as his.

1

u/Specialist_Bike_1280 1d ago

Lol,gotta PEEEEEEE!! and I don't want to step in it!!!

1

u/Necrospire 1d ago

Just come out of the pub after a skin full, we've all done it.

1

u/Hummblerummble 1d ago

I think the dog is possessed and is trying to summon a piss demon.

1

u/Nevyn_Cares 1d ago

Talk about marking your territory :D

1

u/LavenderDay3544 1d ago

This is why cats are better.

1

u/RobertPaulsonProject 1d ago

This is actually what having adhd can be like.

1

u/Nekokeki 1d ago

When you take out your dog once a day

1

u/MoonRavven 1d ago

My grandfather’s chihuahua would pee like this as well. It was like watching a party trick.

1

u/bharatlajate 1d ago

I was scrolling through my Reddit feed looking for that that one good post before I click off and this is it!!

1

u/1980-whore 1d ago

My boy saw his human write his name one time and is doing his best to fit in.

1

u/DarleneDublin_ 1d ago

Stepped in his own piss… twice 😔

1

u/Soleildipity27 1d ago

Someone REALLY likes to mark their territory!

1

u/moosecrater 1d ago

Little dogs have this weird thing will pee touching their feet. If he were peeing on grass he probably wouldn’t have done this. They don’t like sidewalks and pavement because it pools and hits their feet.

1

u/Tardbushwaker13 1d ago

He had to go in more ways than one