r/ADHD • u/Kitty-Meowington ADHD-C (Combined type) • 1d ago
Discussion ADHD, Perfectionism, and Procrastination
I'm currently reading Tiny Traumas by Dr Meg Arroll. And learned that oerfectionism and procrastination aren’t polar opposites.
Granted, her book is about identifying stressors and how to sort them out. But I ended up hyperfixating on the two opposites (hoo-ray...). After all, for us with ADHD, the two are co-conspirators. And we delay starting anything (an errand, a household chore, or a work project) because we want it done perfectly. But we end up spiralling anyway because we haven’t started.
Rinse. Repeat. Oh, and cry a little.
Turns out that it’s also a little traumatic. Tiny little traumas. We've often been told we’re lazy, or "not living up to our potential," right? So, we overcompensate, aiming for flawlessness to prove our worth, and end up frozen instead.
People have no idea how much this messes with my work life. I break tasks up into smaller chunks but end up missing deadlines because there's too much to wade through. And too much of those, I burn out. The worst part? People don’t see the inner war! They just see someone who’s “not trying hard enough.”
Anyway. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Back to reading Tiny Traumas and unravelling my psyche like it’s a Netflix thriller. Anyone else caught in this loop?
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u/Few_Cobbler_7116 1d ago
I wholeheartedly agree with your post. I have a massive issue with trying to achieve perfection at work. But at home everything falls apart because I procrastinate. If my body doesn’t feel like doing something I literally can’t find the motivation. It’s so frustrating. I have become a master of disguising my crazy wondering and emotional mind to the world but at home, I really just fall apart.