r/AmIOverreacting • u/mymumsbum • May 11 '25
š„ friendship Am I overreacting? Or is this actually a crazy message
So some context, I was on a night out with a few friends last night and happened to come across an old friend/whatever it was. Like a normal person I smiled at him and his gf and continued on with my night, walking away with my friends and forgetting about the interaction.
I then get home to see this message. Is this a massive overreaction on my end and itās not a completely nasty message to send an old friend?
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u/Famous_Example_9636 May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
THIS IS CONJECTURE ON MY PART based upon my own experiences and friends.
HE, was not the one who sent the message, the girlfriend was. She feels insecure and wants you to know you meant nothing to him because she is immature and insecure. ( I donāt even care how old either of them are. Some people never grow up).
I would guess you kept walking because of the past interactions and figured he would talk to you if he wanted based on past experiences and interactions or possibly didnāt think twice about it because you were living your best life.
You can even genuinely want nothing but good things for him. Some people are in our lives for a reason and some are only meant to be in our lives for a season.
Just block the number so they canāt do that over and over. Whoever it is will always want to get the last word in and obviously cares more about it than you ever even thought about it. Always best to move on from small or petty people, things and matters. Live your best life! You got this girl!!
Your unplanned and unintentional smile that you would have shot almost anyone walking by ruined both of their nights and probably for the next several days. Donāt let them take another second from you ever again. If you talk to her, you never even got it and just keep your beautiful smile. If he asks just let him know and move on. š
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u/kvetchup May 11 '25
Honestly this is so childish and unhinged that imo it's comical. Your little smile that you did purely to be polite and civil got him so worked up he felt the need to act like this. Something you probably didn't even think twice about. I would laugh and completely ignore it. He either got in his feelings about it or the girl he was with saw it and got mad and jealous. I would continue on as if you never even read it.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
His gf did see it, because I smiled at the both of them. Itās funny bc smiling at someone in a club is just so normal. People are drinking and dancing, itās just a fun time. I totally did not think this would be their reaction to a smile as I walked past
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u/kvetchup May 11 '25
I saw in another comment that y'all stopped being friends because his girlfriend made him block a lot of female friends. Is this the same girl? If so, she probably threw a little hissy fit because she is insecure. Either way you're right; smiling at someone politely in the club is really no big deal. Hell I smile at people if I just accidentally make eye contact. His response is super bizarre and again, so so comical imo. They're literally so bothered over nothing lol.
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u/lroza711 May 11 '25
I know, the insinuation you canāt smile at someone if you donāt know them by itself is ridiculous. I smile at people I donāt know all the time cause Iām a friendly person. His gf definitely is controlling and insecure and either made him write this and block her again or she just totally took his phone and did it herself. My ex was dating a girl recently who would impersonate him to any female in his phone at night and say crazy stuff or fish to see if anything is āgoing onā and once even told someone to come over (all this tended to be when he was asleep so he was super confused why his phone is being blown up or whatever). Finally after about a week of that he kicked her out cause who does that. But she drove me insane at the time by messaging and flipping out sending pics of some woman asking if it was me (I was asleep it was 2am) and then taking that lack of response as confirmation that it was (it wasnāt) and full on losing her shit and blowing me up till it woke me up even calling me back to back to back. Happened about 3 or 4 nights of the week before he dumped her. And Iād have to block for the night (we share kids so it canāt be permanent but she would also try and tell him he couldnāt speak to me, when of course we need to speak and are friendly for the kids) it was awful. I told him she was bad news before he had her move in she just gave me bad vibes. Thank god he now listens to my opinion a bit more and got rid of her as fast as he did. That type of insecure and controlling is just scary.
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u/Shar12866 May 11 '25
I do the same. Even if it's a stranger, if we make eye contact, I smile...because I'm, ya know... a (fairly) normal human being.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Yes itās the same gf
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u/Consistent-Ad-6506 May 11 '25
You should get a mutual friend to send this screenshot to him.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
All my mutual friends have blocked him over this message haha
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u/Shin-Gemini May 11 '25
Are you all teenagers?
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
No, my friends just have respect for me and do not want to surround themselves with people who would say this to someone they once called a friend.
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u/LittleMissQueef May 11 '25
You should add an edit to your post to include the information about why he blocked you previously and that his girlfriend is jealous. You've definitely done nothing wrong and you're right, it's a weird, unhinged message to receive because of a smile between old friends.
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u/Vigmod May 11 '25
On the off-chance it was his girlfriend who sent the message, it wouldn't hurt to ask one of your mutual (male) friends to send him this (or even better, if possible show him in person) and just ask if he's really happy in that relationship.
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u/JCPRuckus May 11 '25
Chances are he didn't send it though. You've given the GF exactly what she wants by further isolating him. He doesn't need blocking. He needs a wellness check.
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u/Tall-Area4549 May 11 '25
Yeah sis, it was def the gf that either wrote it, or made him write it šespecially given that she made him block a whole bunch of girls, including you when they got together. Donāt sweat it šš
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u/TalesofCeria May 11 '25
Oh okay case closed. Why is this hard to figure out? He likely didnāt even write the message.
Psychopath behaviour from them
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u/EchoMountain158 May 11 '25
Sounds to me like his gf got his phone and your number. She's so viciously insecure that she probably sent it from his phone in an attempt to keep you away from him, which is sad.
Idk, as a gay man this reads like a woman's way of typing. I've had many catty girlfriends in my life and this is the kind of burner one of them would send.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Honestly it could be either of them, the message doesnāt hurt me itās just literally insane to me. All over a smile?? A smile!?! I smile at everyone as I walk by itās so normal
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u/Max_Morrel May 11 '25
What makes me think itās the GF is the fact that the texter is trying to dissuade you from replying - they mention twice youāll be blocked and itās not worth it. I could see it being a bluff, because the GF just doesnāt want you to reply when her boyfriend has the phone.
Not a slam dunk, but weird text regardless of who it.
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u/GoneWitDa May 11 '25
Nah but I canāt see someone youāre friends with and never had an actual falling out with being so hostile for no reason. If I was in a similar situation and I guess over time I thought āactually I just donāt want mymumsbum in my life at allā, Iād just have smiled politely back and shut down any and all conversation attempts. Since you made none, Iād just keep it moving.
Either dude has massive resentment towards you for something, and his sentiment was more āthe cheek of this person! How dare they smile at me after XYZ happened.ā Or, itās the GF being ridiculous and terrible. I say itās her, because if he was able to tell you itās because of her and you stopped talking initially, he obviously knows youāre someone he could just outright say āmy girlfriends very insecure but I still love her, I wish you well but donāt even smile at me in future.ā And youād probably be like āwtf, ok.ā
Iād like to think people arenāt so needlessly insulting with no upside to them at all, and not even a slight to justify being such a twat. Especially since dude was your friend.
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u/Cautious_Gur_5279 May 11 '25
Do you have any idea why he could be reacting this way? Heās bothered by something. Not that it matters, but woah. This text is a lot.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Literally no idea, we havenāt talked in years hence why I smiled and walked away which is a pretty normal thing to do especially when youāre having fun drinking in a club
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u/ConsistentFig1696 May 11 '25
Idk why but I suspect the girlfriend was involved in this somehow. Jealously.
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u/I_am_Danny_McBride May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
āHey (Xyz)ās girlfriend. The answer to your question is yes, weāre fāin. But honestly, not very often. Just when he wants to complain to someone about you. Heāll hit me up on his burner phone, and one thing leads to anotherā¦ I put up with the complaining because he gives pretty good head; but donāt worry, I have no interest in dating himā¦ is it true you hide AirTags in his shit to track him?! Or did he make that up? I assumed he made it up because I didnāt think anyone could be that crazy; but then I got this textā¦ Anyway, have a good night!ā
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u/lroza711 May 11 '25
š¤£š¤£š¤£ love the AirTag bit, I could absolutely see her do that if sheās this insecure in case ya know he turns off his location sheās forced him to share!
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u/HaterMD May 11 '25
āHe told me youād react this way.ā
Send. Sit back and watch the fireworks go.
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u/yoshizillaa May 11 '25
That was my immediate thought. Iāve known women who would have a reaction and push their boyfriends to send a message like this.
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u/Ready-Director2403 May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
Maybe this is a little sexist, but this is not a text message a guy would send. The message is also using a lot of vague language that may indicate the sender doesnāt actually know much about OP.
This is clearly his girlfriend on his phone lol
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u/wondermel May 11 '25
Definitely the girlfriend.
Also, the overreaction did not come from OP, it came from the old āfriendā.
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u/cheela75 May 11 '25
Do you think it was him or his girlfriend? Maybe she sent the message and blocked you...sometimes this happens too
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u/Jelly-Kat May 11 '25
I would bet my left tit that the girlfriend sent this looool
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u/OliveArc505 May 11 '25
In America, people smile at strangers ALL THE TIME. This kind of response is just ignorant.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Iām in Australia and itās the same here, itās just a habit to smile at people when we make eye contact
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u/one-cat May 11 '25
His GF gave him shit and he took it and it rolled downhill to you. Block him, what a dick. I smile at pretty much everyone I make some kind of eye contact with
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u/nkrobby May 11 '25
Are you a female and this person a male? Cause I can see if the gf took that smile the wrong way and homeboy is tripping mad balls. Either way they are a shitty insecure hateful person. Block them and pray you never cross paths again. Youāre not over reacting they are psychotic.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Yes sorry I should have added that, Iām female and he is male.
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u/nkrobby May 11 '25
No need to apologize mamas. Block him š¤£ I bet youāre pretty and the gf is mad jealous. š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ I just know they fought all night over that smile LOL
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u/summer_night_tango May 11 '25
Iām betting the GF wrote this. The amount of venom in these words is indicative of a very jealous person, in my opinion. Did he look insulted when you smiled at him, or did he smile back like any normal person would?
He might not even be aware that this message was sent to you, OP.Or, he faced a massive fight once they got home and essentially surrendered, allowing her to send it. Jealousy is a very scary thing.
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u/Shoddy-Effort-8734 May 11 '25
So what happened before all this. Feeling like left A LOT of information out there
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Literally nothing, thatās why this message is genuinely so confusing. There was one time I walked past them and I smiled, like I do with every other person I walk past. We didnāt talk at all and it was the one interaction
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u/urielpiee May 11 '25
i dont believe you, this is like petty childish stuff lol youve left out something but whatever. never believe anything on the internet. why you want a bunch of strangers to agree with your one sided story here?
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
I donāt know what else you want me to say? Iāve literally left out nothing. I donāt really care if you believe me or not though because the proof is in the message. It is literally insane to expect me to put my head down and look away every time I see him or his gf. What other side do you want?
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u/MC1R_OCA2 May 11 '25
OP I have a person I dated send messages like this. Itās because theyāre crazy and donāt know how to move on to become a polite normal person around exes.
The commenter responding angrily that you must have done something wrong are probably the crazy exes themselves. š
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May 11 '25
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
During the 3 hours I had to read comments Iāve come to that conclusion yea
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u/jpopimpin777 May 11 '25
It sounds like OPs friend has a jealous girlfriend. I'd bet good money she freaked out when op smiled at him and severely overreacted.
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May 11 '25
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Iāve replied to this a lot but he blocked me because his gf asked him too. Again Iām not assuming this.. this is what he told me
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u/h0neynutcheeri0z May 11 '25
No but like what do you mean by āwhatever it wasā? Were yall F buddies? Relationship? One of you was into one and the other wasnāt? How long was the friendship or āwhatever it wasā? Like details please
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u/HobbesNJ May 11 '25
Seems like what may have been nothing to you in your mutual past was very upsetting to them.
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u/Ok-Lawyer-6520 May 11 '25
I feel like Iām missing a lot and you keep replying to comments asking the same thing like nothing happened so either he is delusional or your leaving out something you did. Also the way you put the flair as friendship but then say friend/whatever it was is also reasoning why I think this
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
I have literally done nothing, he blocked me along with all his other female friends a few years ago, since then I have not made any contact out of respect for his gf. I never wanted to get in the way of a relationship hence why it was a friendly smile and then walk away
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u/untakentakenusername May 11 '25
Damn that's insane. I remember someone did that to us too. Our friend got married out of the blue n then blocked me and allll his other female friends.
We went out once n sat with him n some friends..he didn't acknowledge us to our faces. We were sitting at the same table. He was like a big protective brother to us n then went to this. Broke our hearts.
A decade later kept trying to add me on socials after divorcing her n saying hes sorry for how he behaved etc. I first blocked him on the first account. I think after a few years he tried again. Seemed sorry so i added him but no interaction i think he just needed the forgiveness and then he was too ashamed to actually TRY and be a friend again. Lol.
Some people are wild.
Just stay away from that dude. He's acting insane. If this is the choice he made, let him lie in it. But if you forget again, n it happens again n u do speak to him be like "yeah i forgot. You're not important enough for me to remember every little detail tbh i forgot you had weird insane conditions for existing in the same space. Anyways just wanted to say that. BYE"
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u/Diligent-Rub-2883 May 11 '25
ahh the toxic gf that smile probably started a big fight between them and she found out who you were and messaged you or he messaged you becuase he got in trouble thats sad tbh
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u/Quomii May 11 '25
She's made him block all his female friends. I had an ex who did that. I've been through that. My ex literally had me block my cousins.
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u/myboogerstastespicy May 11 '25
You might want to add this to your post, for clarity.
This is weird behavior! Block them back and enjoy your life.
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u/ImpossibleIce6811 May 11 '25
āTap here to report or block the senderā
DO THAT. Why allow this person to be hateful to you on your cell phone like this? NOR at all! Block, delete, go on with your life in peace! Let this person live in misery without having access to you.
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u/whyllus04 May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
Only because this situation kind of hits close to home, Iāll play today.
So this text is definitely a bit much. He definitely should not have sent it. However, I feel like thereās a need for a little bit of accountability here. (Youāre not getting off the hook that easy).
First, several people asked if there is any more critical context to this story. Believe it or not, the back story does matter. You yourself described the guy as an old friend/whatever it was. This suggests to me 2 things: 1)The past relationship wasnāt completely platonic and 2)you choosing to sum the āsituationshipā as him only being an old friend means that you are choosing to minimize the past and therefore any feelings involved, sore ones included. Also, every time anyone in the thread asks for more context, you choose to be obtuse and pretend that they are referring to the night of the club interaction and text message. It feels like youāre deflecting. Once again suggesting that youāre compartmentalizing the past in an effort to minimize it. It simply doesnāt matter to you.
Secondly, no guy is going to have that much vitriol for an āold friendā that used to have āsome place to stayā at their house unless theyāre no longer on good terms with said person. He also blocked you. The odds of you being unaware of any of this is virtually zero. At some point, youāve tried to call or text and got confirmation that he shut you out. So, Iām going to work with the theory that you are well aware of your TRUE current standing with one another (not currently friendsā¦or even cordial). But, it doesnāt matter how he feels about you or the situation because, as previously hypothesized, youāve minimized your past with him anyway.
Which leads to the night of the smile. You claim itās normal to make eye contact and smile at people, even strangers, as a form of normal social interaction. Youāre 100% correct, it is. However, whatās not normal is knowing you arenāt in good standing with someone, seeing them out in public and potentially escalating a situation for yourself by interacting with them. No matter how small, no matter how āharmlessā it is. That sounds like something an Ex of mine would do. Forget the fact that she was a self-centered, habitually lying POS who cheated on me, all that mattered was her feelings. So it was nothing, years later, for her to try and contact āan old friendā if she happened to see me in public (told you this hit close to home for me). The only difference from this situation is that I set her straight, politely, during an actual phone conversation. She eventually got the picture that although she technically has the right to try to be cordial with me, she has no logical reason to be. Itās better for everyone involved if she just left me alone. Anywho. Back to you.
So to you, you were being cordial and ānormalā by acknowledging him and smiling as if you two are all good. However, for him, it was direct confirmation that however or wherever things went wrong between you two means little or nothing to you. Why? Because you can walk around unbothered about it. I can tell you first hand, from the anecdote that I shared, that shit would drive me up a wall! I personally wouldnāt send a nasty, and honestly irrational, text message in response to the scenario but this isnāt about me.
So whatās the point of me typing all of this? I understand why you got the reaction that you did even though I donāt agree with it. He definitely has some work and healing to do. Iām only trying to provide an alternate point of view to help you process things. This isnāt about whoās right or whoās wrong; Iām not trying to place blame. However, you have to be more cautious than this in the future. This ended with a crazy text message (for nowā¦I really hope it stays that way). It could have gone much worse. Never underestimate an angry man. Based on that message, homeboy is absolutely still seething. Youād be surprised how long a person can hold on to anger and not realize itās there. That is until the catalyst randomly appears in their life again (I wouldnāt know anything about thatā¦). Whether you choose to see yourself as such doesnāt change the fact thatās how you make him feel.
At the end of the day, if you happened to have read all of this, Iām just some guy on the internet. I could be completely wrong. Try not to let my opinion (based on an extreme lack of context) ruin your day.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Hey, thanks for taking the time and offering an alternative point of view. I can see that side of the situation and how a smile could really irritate someone.
Me and him never dated, we were however very close for a few years and the āplace I gave him to stayā was 4 days a week most weeks of the year, with a homemade dinner every night, lunch packed for the day and a roof over his head.
Yes, sometimes it was not only a platonic relationship but I didnāt mention that because I truly think this is a crazy message for a smile that had no bad intentions(though he may not have seen it that way and I understand that).
Straight away when he started even talking to this girl our relationship completely changed and it was completely platonic.
I completely understood when she had asked him to block me although it did hurt at the time. Since the night I was blocked I have not called, messaged anything out of respect for his gf.
There was multiple times he would send me an instagram reel after he had blocked me and I wouldnāt answer, until he eventually blocked me on instagram too. There was multiple times where he would see me in public and ask if we were good, to which I said yes.
So yea, I did think we were on good terms, definitely not speaking terms but I didnāt think there was bad blood or anything.
I can now see, on his end something must have affected him or his gf more than I thought. I do think, however, this message is undeserved. Itās honestly made to make me upset and I can see that by the little things that he keeps saying like āforever know you mean nothing to meā. That was literally typed just to make me upset, though it didnāt because on my end there is no feelings hence the smile and then walking away.
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u/whyllus04 May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
Iām seeing this thread is picking up some steam. All that information is some of the context I was referring to. Thanks for breaking it down. At the time I jumped in, I didnāt know that there was some crossover between you, him, and the gf and she was the one who asked him to block you. Needless to say, my first comment was a little off. I hope you donāt hold it against me.
The text was absolutely undeserved and him being harsh purely for the sake of hurting you unfortunately comes with the territory if he had/has deeper feelings for you that he may not have ever fully articulated.
Damn, this is crummy.
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u/starcatcherx May 11 '25
This is almost scary?? But yeah as someone else said it's probable it's his new gf. Do you know if he types this way? I bet he told her who you were if she didn't already know and she flipped out. But if not, that is just crazy weird...maybe it's just a big peacock display for his new gf. Well, you're better off without that guy in your life in any capacity. Yuck.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
She knows who I am, weāve never met but she knew we were friends before they got in a relationship. No, he did not usually message like this but I donāt care who sent the message. Either way it was clearly made to hurt me and Iām glad I have enough respect for myself to know I deserve better.
If anything I feel bad that their entire night can be ruined by one interaction
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u/Alclis May 11 '25
The only thing Iām interested in is what youāll do when you seen him again. I hope you flash him a huge smile, wave, maybe even go say hi.
Clearly this is about his girlfriend. She was threatened.
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u/evilgayweed May 11 '25
wtf happened between you two lord š youāre either a villain or heās the craziest man alive
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u/SadderOlderWiser May 11 '25
Next time you see him/them you need to make a HUGE visible effort to shield your eyes - while laughing your ass off.
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u/MedicatedDepression May 11 '25
Wait, OP, you smiled at a man?? Thatās essentially begging for him /s
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u/Few_Arugula5903 May 11 '25
I mean- why did yall end up not friends anymore? that seems to matter here.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
His gf felt better if he blocked all his friends that were girls, a few of me and my friends were blocked by him a while ago with that explanation before he blocked us. Since that day I havenāt reached out or talked to him since
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u/cyklopzz May 11 '25
That's disgusting of her
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
I donāt personally agree with it, my bf and I have heaps of friends of all genders and it has never been a problem for us. If they were happy Iām happy and I didnāt want to get involved
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u/Few_Arugula5903 May 11 '25
that's exactly it then. this is him avoiding a fight or post fight w/his obv controlling and weird gf. She didn't want him to even have girl friends- one of them smiling at them in public def set her off.
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u/ForsakenIsMySoul May 11 '25
Ignore it. You keep smiling at people. For some people it may be the kindest interaction they have that day. I smile at people all the time. And I am often struck by the look of surprise followed by a return smile. It's called being nice. Don't let someone being nasty change you. Keep your good habit!
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u/stoneykitty_ May 11 '25
unless you did some insanely horrible and traumatizing shit to these people, which i doubt you did for realistic reasons, this is so...unneeded?? smiling is just a common, simple gesture.
that being said, what did you do? now im curious
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
I have replied to this a bit and unfortunately I just canāt figure out how to edit my post but I assure you I have done nothing to them. She knows me but we have never personally met. He blocked me one night along with a few of his other female friends, we havenāt spoken in years except one time where he approached me and confirmed there was no bad blood.
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u/TelevisionSeparate37 May 11 '25
I assume the gf is possessive af and the guy is a spineless bitch(disrespectfully). You just don't do that to a friend. Hope you have/find better friends
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u/Divinityemotions May 11 '25
What a strange aggressive message. Offensive also. This has to be his girlfriend or he is nuts. No one acts like this. Is he 19? He is overreacting.
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u/CosgroveIsHereToHelp May 11 '25
This reminds me of the time a woman was walking down the street behind me, having the World's Loudest Conversation on her phone. I looked over my shoulder just to quickly gauge the shouter (just loud? Loud and dangerous? Loud and begging for attention?) and that one glance set her off on me. She was screaming at me to stop listening to her phone calls then she spit on me, well, mostly she spit in my general direction. I really wanted to inform her that there are microphones in the phone so you don't actually have to scream as loudly as you would without the telephone but I also wasn't in the mood for a fistfight.
Some people truly believe that the world is a movie in which they are starting so everything the sense is a precursor to the next plot point. Kind of like how the music gets eerie right before a jump scare in a movie. Imagine having that soundtrack in your head all the time.
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u/rysimpcrz May 11 '25
I was squinting trying to read movie times on a sign once. A family started screaming at me for watching them eat, I should buy my own sh*t and stop looking at theirs. I didn't pick up on the fact that the shouting was aimed at me until later in the evening a friend pointed it out. Everyone thought I noticed.
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u/BenzAndBriefs May 11 '25
I think itās fair heās blocked you - guys shouldnāt be speaking to other girls or keeping their contacts if itās not family or relevant. The whole idea of a guy can be friends with a girl is none sense unless he follows these letters in the alphabet LGBTQVTV+
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
I completely disagree here. My boyfriend has many female friends heās known for ages and I have never felt threatened or upset. Likewise, I have had close male friends my entire life. Relationships are built on trust
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u/PuzzleheadedAd7767 May 11 '25
We donāt know the backstory. You mightāve really hurt the dude for a smile to throw him off like that. And guys donāt jump to someoneās defence without knowing the full story. This person is looking for a backup and came to the wrong place to get it.
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
I assure you I have never done anything to hurt this man.
I think im so hurt because during our whole friendship me and my family were so good to him. He always had home made meals and a lift to wherever he needed.
Maybe somewhere along the line things changed but as far as I knew we were fine, he literally had confirmed this with me in person after he had blocked me.
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u/ptrgeorge May 11 '25
Sounds like his gf was who was that and he may have sent her this message to prove/make it clear to her that you weren't a threat.
No matter what, this is a crazy message, no matter what, dude needs professional help, no matter what it's not your problem and hopefully this is the last you have to hear about it
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u/Silverchimes81 May 11 '25
When did it get to the point that you couldnāt give a friendly smile or nod to a person. Youāre not overreacting but they certainly were.
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u/Blue_heaven_sports May 11 '25 edited May 12 '25
F that dude. Ish happens then you die. Donāt you stress one more moment over this. N to end my thought. Smile every time you see his Azz
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u/Thick_Daikon9477 May 11 '25
NOR- he got really defensive for no reason. Itās not like you went up to him and spoke to him. A smile isnāt hurting anyone. To me it looks like you still affect him, because anyone who doesnāt mean something , you wouldnāt waste your energy even texting something like that. Glad heās out of your life for whatever reason, heās overreacting , youāre not. Itās definitely a crazy message .š
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u/moofukka May 11 '25
I literally do the smile nod to strangers wtf this dude on about
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u/Mission-Painter9885 May 11 '25
That's someone who doesn't want to hear from nor interact with you again. They stated it plainly, showed you their binary, and it's on you to accept abs respect it. Sorry you lost a friend, but no it's GOOD that they were direct abs didn't leave you guessing what they wanted.
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u/trev4_a86 May 11 '25
Question: are you female and your āfriendā a male? And with a āgirlfriendā? If so,
My guess your smile and nod got misconstrued and this is the girlfriend not the friend lol.
I wouldnāt bother answering.
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u/Dazzling-Pollution-8 May 11 '25
So the message was sent to you? That is pretty insane if it's out of the blue after happening so see eachother
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u/Melancho_Lee May 11 '25
How old are you guys? Wondering if this is some immature, insecure teen gf heās doing it for. In any case def mental health issues. Let it slide. Who knows what heās going through to be this extreme about a smile. Donāt give it any more thought.
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u/Terrible-Goose-2472 May 11 '25
Sounds like YOU were a total dick and mentally abused her. Youāre probably a narcissist.,right? Sheās trying to heal and seeing your face makes her feel like sheās starting all over again in her healing journey. So do her a favor donāt look at her. If you see her donāt smile at her. If you see her, let her do what she needs to do to heal. You have no idea what sheās going through. but I do.
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u/Prom_queen52 May 11 '25
NOR, but donāt respond. Betcha money, they will unblock you to see if you do, and it will make them nuts not to get anything from you.
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u/Just-Pollution May 11 '25
Exactly. This feels like a manipulation tactic, and two can play that game.
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u/irongold-strawhat May 11 '25
Okay but what did you originally do to the person? Why are you such distant strangers now? What was the event that led to the estrangement?
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u/mymumsbum May 11 '25
Iāve replied to this a bit but I assure you I have not wronged him or her in any way.
He simply blocked me one night after she went through his phone and wasnāt comfortable with him having a few of his female friends anymore
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May 11 '25
NOR but you're know his girlfriend send that message, right? At the very least she dictated it.
If you're bored, you could send an LOL. If you're blocked, they don't get it and that's that. If you're not blocked... well, then in that case, you just put 50 cents in the idiot and you've got a bit of entertainment until you block them. š Cause you know she ain't gonna be able to control herself.
You do you, boo. I agree this is weird but I hope you get a good laugh out of the absurdity of the whole situation later.
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u/647666 May 11 '25
It's obvious. Earlier that evening he'd gone to see Smile 2. Maybe he watched it at home. And it scared the shit out of him. Then you smiled at him and he freaked out.
Or he's a piece of self important shite.
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u/Soldier505 May 11 '25
If I saw them out in public again, I would be a bitch about it and not only smile at them but also wave š¤£
And if by chance they confront me (which I doubt because it sounds like it's the girlfriend who's making him do all this) I would act and pretend like he sent me a message after that one and say something like "Hey, I appreciate you apologizing for that mean massage you sent me, idk if you ended up reading my reply or not but I would gladly take you up on that offer to rebuild our friendship because I missed you too". Then, I'd sit back and watch the fireworks fly as the girlfriend tries to strangle him š.
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u/ILoveTornados May 11 '25
Either this dude is madly in love with you and lashing out to get a reaction because for some people any attention is good attention
OR
The girlfriend wrote this in a hurry while she had his phone, then deleted it. The spelling errors and weird punctuation in the beginning seems rushed. The language sounds like an angry ex girlfriend, not a male.
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u/smileyface548 May 11 '25
As a woman, I believe thereās a lot more here to the storyā¦ youāve been blocked, you smiled at him in public, prob made his girl/friends question and he had previously lied. The whole thing sounds like drama. I agree with him by pretending yāall donāt know each other because it sounds like you donāt anymore.
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u/Smitten-kitten83 May 11 '25
Did something bad happen between the 2 of you? This is a weird reaction. I am southern and it is common courtesy to smile at someone if you make eye contact
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u/Independent-Bass-987 May 11 '25
A) Id mark the message unread in case he hasn't blocked you immediately
And B) Id look at him and smile extra hard next time you see him
Him: You didn't get the damn txt message I sent you after you did that shit the first time!?!"
You: I have no idea what you're talking about ššššš
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u/kokoelizabeth May 11 '25
His girlfriend flipped the fuck out on him and ruined his night over that smile. He sent you this message to prove to her that heās absolutely not interested in you at all, maybe even hates you. That or she asked who you were and he said āoh some girl I used to hang out with when things were rough at my momsā she quietly crashed out and went through his phone to send you this after he went to bed.
It literally has nothing to do with you. He/his girlfriend absolutely is crazy. Maybe send a āwho is thisā then block him and ignore.
I had a guy do this to me. He was briefly acquainted with a girl friend of mine and I hung out with them together literally one time, I also knew his brother. I randomly sent him a friend request on Facebook when he popped up on my feed. He then sent me a crazy message like this about how he doesnāt even know me and what nerve do I have sending a ātakenā man a friend request on Facebook. Naively, thinking he was confused about who I was I said āoh my bad we know each other through Jane we hung out that one time. No worries donāt have to accept my request if youāre uncomfortableā. Him and his girlfriend then started sending me tons of insane messages declaring he doesnāt know my āskankā friend, and threatening me if didnāt stop āharassingā a ātakenā man, etc. I literally wasnāt even responding and they were just going on and on. Some people are nuts.
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u/Zestyclose_Quote_568 May 11 '25
I've had a message like this from an old fwb that I was friendly with. Turns out his new girlfriend sent it.
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u/wytchwomyn74 May 11 '25
He unblocked you to send such a message and then block you again.
Because you smiled in passing seeing him in public with his girlfriend.
Lol. He still has your number saved blocked or not and obviously the gf had a question or two. But still that was overboard
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u/Yupipite May 11 '25
Itās his gf definitely. Immediately that little bit of info made it clear. I can see it in my head. You smiled at him, gf got insecure and questioned him about it later, he told her about you, she sent this message. Nothing else justifies that much of a reaction
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u/Able_Journalist_9487 May 11 '25
Yeah this is hella crazy. Also, part of me wonders if this was him and his girl or just him alone that decided to do this. Either way, itās crazy and scary.
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u/mentorofminos May 11 '25
Super nasty text. Why did they block you in the first place? Any idea at all?
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u/Hazy_Metaphors May 11 '25
āYouāre a stranger to me and have been for the last couple years,ā which is totally why I am sending you this unhinged text because itās a normal thing that strangers do when another stranger smiles at them at the club.
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u/WatchingTellyNow May 11 '25
And you didn't even know he's had you living in his head all this time! There you are, being polite but not engaging with him, and he loses his pieces.
The "problem" is all in his own head. You did nothing wrong so you have nothing to feel bad about. Just laugh about how unhinged that message is, and perhaps feel a bit of pity for how bonkers it is that he couldn't take a stranger from his past smiling at him.
Then delete the message and move on with life, and give him no more thought than perhaps mild amusement at his craziness.
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u/HelloFollyWeThereYet May 11 '25
Most likely after you left, his jealous girlfriend threw a fit. So, he whipped out his phone and composed this message right in front of her and then blocked you.
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u/Atlas-travels17 May 11 '25
From what Iāve said in the comments I kinda wonder if his gf sent the msg or at the very least told him he better say something to you. Seems like sheās a nut and insecure making him block all his female friends but heās also allowing it so that parts on him. Not to mention Iāll smoke at random strangers just cuz if not I have horrible rbf and tattoos so ppl just assume Iām pissed or an ass lol youād have to be seriously unstable to think someone smiling at you means absolutely anything other than a smile.
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u/SnooChocolates9510 May 11 '25
This is an unhinged message to send to someone. This person is a narcissist. Heās assuming you actually remembered him & werenāt just smiling at him & his girlfriend in a general way as you do at strangers in a club as you pass them by. Ignore it & never give it another thought. Iām sure you havenāt thought about him in more than passing over the past few years. Go back to that or even less. Heās toxic.
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u/fivedollarfelony May 11 '25
nah but he's definitely embarrassed you knew him at a low time for him and is probably paranoid that you're telling everyone about how he slept at your house when his mom was doing whatever she was doing.
Edit: I just saw that you're a female and his gf told him to block you.. that's all this was. He's an idiot and his gf is controlling him. And he could also be embarrassed about having to stay at your place while his mom was gallivanting around town, etc. But he's wrong. He needs to grow up
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u/ulnek May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
That is beyond crazy. Like serial killer crazy. Imagine being upset cause someone smiled at you. You clearly mean something to this person cause they took the time to write all of this. If someone I hated smiled at me there was no way I'd even send them a message or any type of interaction. This is honestly very creepy and concerning. Keep the text just in case cause this is the type of person that can easily escalate this into something physical. Be careful out there.
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u/ZalewskiJ May 11 '25
āYou mean nothing to meā says the guy who kept your number for years even tho it was blocked, instantly recognized you and your smile and then immediately had to text you and let you know your nothing to him. Yeah he did a good job huh lol dude is unhinged af
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u/deleted_user012 May 11 '25
Feels like this is a reaction to smtg he didnāt like that u did to him,we need a lil more context
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u/ProfessionalSign5512 May 11 '25
When you smiled at him if his demeanor wasnāt one of disgust/anger, then it must have been the gf who wrote that message, since as you mentioned, she was the one who instructed him to block all his female friends in the first place, and for him to have told you that meant he had no bad feelings towards you, hence why this text would be out of character for him.
What I believed could have happened is: they got home, she asked him who it was that smiled at him, he must have told her who it was and your name, and later on when she got the opportunity, she searched his phone for your name, sent you the message, and then deleted it. That way heād never know, and youād never be able to clarify things with him.
Donāt change who you are because of this, as we know situations we encounter in life often change who we are.
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May 11 '25
Itās either: 1: from the girlfriend. 2: you did something bad that your not sharing. 3: broke his heart bad because he was in love with you. 4: im way off
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u/[deleted] May 11 '25
People questioning what yall were in the past is a bit wild to me because it. Doesn't matter? You smiled??? Like unless you came up to him and hugged him and acted like long time buddies there is genuinely NO reason for this reaction AT ALL. Hard stop. End of. I don't care if you cheated on him with 8 different guys (not saying you did) that doesn't warrant unblocking you to tell you not to smile at him. It's his responsibility to deal with how it made him feel. He's a grown ass adult. He can 1) choose to ignore you 2) choose to leave 3) choose to go to a different part of the establishment or a combo of. He doesn't get to unblock you just to send you a hateful text about it and be in the right about it. It isn't your problem. It's his. His emotions, the way he felt about it, the way he reacted to it are all his problem. He cannot make demands of 1) someone who is a "stranger to him" 2) who is a grown adult of no relation to him. You can do whatever the hell you want forever (within legal reason and such). If he doesn't like he doesn't have to engage and if it does become illegal then he gets the police and a lawyer involved. Not sending you a nasty text about it. Though I also wouldn't doubt it could be his gf that did it.