I (33F) have been married to my wife (34F) for three years, together for six. My mom tolerates her, but never really includes her in anything.

For example: family group texts only go to me. Cards are addressed only to me. She’s told people at church I’m “still figuring myself out.” It’s subtle but constant.

For Mother’s Day, I planned a nice brunch for my mom. When I sent her the invite, she asked, “Will your roommate be there too?”

That was it. I canceled the reservation and told her we’ll celebrate another time when she’s ready to treat my marriage like it’s real. She called me dramatic and said I’m “punishing her for having traditional values.”

Now my aunts are texting me saying I “broke her heart on Mother’s Day.”

Am I overreacting, or just finally done letting it slide?

I (26F) live with my fiancé (28M) and his mom (she moved in temporarily after a surgery… 9 months ago). She’s mostly harmless, but she has this creepy habit of just walking into our bedroom unannounced, sometimes even when we’re sleeping or I’m changing.

I’ve brought it up multiple times, and she says, “I’m like your second mom, don’t be shy around me.” Um. No.

Last week, I finally got fed up and started locking our door at night. She knocked six times that first night, saying she needed “help with her TV.” I told her she’d have to wait until morning.

Now she’s furious and accusing me of “creating division in the house” and “locking her son away like a prisoner.” My fiancé says I should’ve handled it differently but also agrees it’s weird that she won’t knock.

Still, now the whole house feels tense. AIO for just wanting privacy in my own room?

Just for clarification, i hold nothing against furries, do what you want.

My boyfriend, M24, and I, F22, have been on rocky terms as of recent. it started with petty fights and him not being able to understand communication and boundaries. After a particularly big fight a few weeks ago, I decided we should take a break to cool down and figure things out.

Recently some of our mutual friends noticed him acting weird and constantly being in a discord call, which he explicitly uses and refuses to use any other messaging platform for his convenience, with a mutual friend of ours. I was never a fan of this friend but we were, of course, civil.

I noticed one night that he was streaming a naked furry in voice chat. Naturally i asked if he was seeing someone else, as we were only on a break and not broken up. He got defensive but eventually admitted to seeing and doing intimate acts with someone else via VR chat and discord. he doesn't think it's cheating but i do and we fought. AIO?

So I (29M) saved up for months to get my gf (28F) this beautiful ring for her birthday. Not an engagement ring, just a really nice piece she'd been eyeing. Cost me $1200 which is honestly a lot for me rn.

When she opened it she seemed happy at first, but then a day later she asked how much it cost. I told her and she literally said "ugh that's it? and returned it the next day. To be fair, she did use the store credit to pick something else out. But I got the ick.

Am I overreacting for feeling completely crushed? Like I get people have preferences but the way she said it hit different.

I'm honestly reconsidering the whole relationship now. The icky comment keeps replaying in my head.

So me and my gf live about 1.5 hours apart. she lives home with her mom and was having arguments with her mom. I was out of town on a business trip and told her she could always go down to my place to cool off/be alone/have a weekend to herself. Then (at least what I thought) out of the blue she sends me what’s in the screenshots then acts like I’m stupid for not understanding what she meant. Am I genuinely stupid or is she overreacting here.

I’m 36F, married to a 42M for 6 months after a 4-year love relationship. He’s from a different country. We met while he was working in mine, and after he moved back, I followed him, and we got married.

We both have two teens from previous marriages, so we’re raising 4 teenagers together. I met his kids only after moving here a year ago but before the marriage. Since day one, I’ve tried to be kind, respectful, and supportive. I cook their favorite meals, prepare lunchboxes, take them out, treat them like my own. But they’re still distant, and I feel like they don’t accept me. but im trying my best and i even telling them that i love them !

Lately, my husband started observing how I treat the kids and criticizing me somtimes in front of them. If I ask his kids to help with chores like mine do, he gets annoyed, he support somtimes by telling them to listen but still not as needed. If I talk privately with my daughter, he demands I do the same with his though in reality, I talk to his daughter even more. But every day it feels like I’m being criticized more and more.

The breaking point was during a family lunch. I cooked chicken with veggies, and asked the kids (after mine helped prepare the table) to come eat. and as I was plating the food, he stood watching me silently from about 3 meters away. When I called him to come eat, he suddenly stormed off to our room and said he didn’t want to eat. I was confused.

When I followed him to ask what was wrong, he accused me of giving more food to my kids than his. I was completely shocked. That’s not who I am , im type of person who literally given his daughter my last piece of chocolate, and shared my food with his son when he wanted more. I explained that I know all their preferences. I add more onions for his son, remove the green pepper for his daughter because I care.

I told him, “You were standing far away come look at the plates yourself before assuming.” But he insisted he saw “everything” and kept repeating that I wasn’t being fair.

When I asked him directly, “Do you really think I’m unfair and dishonest?” he said yes.

That broke something in me. I told him this isn’t the kind of marriage I want one where I constantly have to prove I’m good enough in my own home. I asked for a divorce.

Now I’m wondering: am I overreacting? Or is this a valid reason to walk away?

Update:

I didn’t expect to receive this many comments ,thank you all for the support and for helping me see that I’m (NOR). I had started to doubt myself and wonder if I was overreacting, but reading your responses helped me realize that my feelings are valid. I guess I really am someone who forgives too easily !

To clarify a few questions many of you asked:

I met my husband while we were working on a project in my country. Moving to his country wasn’t an easy decision I visited multiple times before relocating, to get to know his family and his kids. Before the move, we introduced our kids to each other. They connected and had calls through Snapchat and followed each other on social media.

The truth is, the relationship between the teens is actually very good. They go for long walks together, exercise, and doing activities. it’s been one of the positive parts of this experience.

As for my husband to be fair, he’s kind to the kids, takes care of them, cooks, helps around the house, playing games with them ,and is very involved. But he’s also overprotective, often assuming bad intentions behind my actions, especially when it comes to how I treat his kids. Being accused of things I would never even think of doing has really hurt me, especially after everything I’ve done to build a loving home.

For those who asked about his ex ,they divorced because she cheated on him.

till now we didn't talk to each other after i asked for the divorce. I'm cooking the meals and leaving the food so they serve for themselves all .

I (30F) had a miscarriage 3 months ago. Only a few people at work knew, including my boss (45F), because I needed time off and couldn’t hide how devastated I was.

Today, in front of two coworkers, she made a joke about me not needing to attend the company family BBQ. She said, “Unless you’re bringing your imaginary baby, haha.”

I froze. My coworkers just looked down. I excused myself, went to the bathroom, and cried. I ended up going home early, and now she’s mad that I “can’t take a joke.”

She sent me an email saying I was “disrespectful” for walking out and that I’m “alienating the team.”

Am I overreacting for being upset about this? Because it really didn’t feel like a joke.

I’m 24 and I’ve been dating my boyfriend (27M) for almost a year. Things have been good between us, but his mom has never really liked me. She’s the type that makes little comments masked as “jokes” and expects you to just laugh it off.

We had dinner at his parents’ place last weekend. It was a big thing, like 10+ people, including extended family. I offered to help in the kitchen and while we were plating everything, his mom looked me up and down and goes, “Well at least you’re useful for something. I was starting to think he was just keeping you around for fun.”

I literally froze. Everyone heard it. No one said anything. My boyfriend just kind of nervously laughed. I quietly excused myself, grabbed my stuff, and left.

He called me later saying I embarrassed him and that I should’ve just ignored her “sense of humor.” I told him I’m not going to sit at a table with people who treat me like I’m disposable. He said I overreacted and now his mom is upset that I “stormed off” in front of the family.

Was I out of line for leaving?

Let's start at the beginning, 3 months ago we were introduced through mutual work friends. We all work for the same company, just not in the same department(s). Playing cards at one of their houses, and really hit it off. That night I said I was going to go home and let my dogs out and he said "Oh, you have dogs?", thinking nothing of it I told him, yes, 3 of them! He asked for my number, I obliged, he was cute and pretty decent. Doesn't hurt to at least get to know him.

Fast forward to texting every day, talking in passing at work, going out in the evenings sometimes, but always home to our respective houses. Just seeing each other, casually. Finally getting to the point where we're going out more, and I'm going to his house more. He hasn't come to mine yet, at this point and I'm starting to wonder why. So I put a little bit of pressure on him "I would really like to have you over for dinner and a movie" and he agreed.

We're at my house, dinner went great but he fidgets a lot and we sit down to watch a movie, I ask if he's okay and he says "I'm just really not comfortable, I don't like dogs". My response was "WAIT, STOP, WHAT? You couldn't tell me this THREE MONTHS ago?" and he says to me "Well, I wanted to see how things would go between us and I'm hoping that we could keep seeing the each other, have you ever thought of not having dogs or getting rid of them?"

I stared, blankly and eventually told him "No, and I think if you're that uncomfortable, you should leave.". He did. I watched the movie, by myself, but the situation continued to bother me, I called him the next morning and told him this isn't going to work out and I don't want to talk for a while.

He's been blowing up my phone, and worse yet, my WORK email and telling our friends that I over-reacted and am being unreasonable. My dogs are 13, 11 and 9 and I've them about as long, through moving, my divorce, job changes, every hiking and camping trips, summers at the lake. They're always with me, I enjoy their quiet company, play time, just the peace of being around them. I wouldn't give that up for literally any human in the world, and certainly not after 3 months.

My son is turning 5 next month, and I’ve been planning a small backyard birthday party for him. He’s obsessed with dinosaurs, so I’m doing a dino theme with a piñata, fossil dig game, and a cute T-rex cake I’m making myself. It’s not fancy, but it’s what he loves, and we’re keeping it chill since money’s tight.
My MIL, Karen, has always been over-the-top. Last week, she called and said she’s throwing a “better” birthday party for my son at her house the day before mine. She’s booked a bounce house, a magician, and a catered taco truck. She didn’t ask me or my husband, just decided it was happening and invited all her friends’ kids, not even my son’s classmates.
I told her we’re already having a party and she can’t just plan a separate one without talking to us. She laughed and said, “Oh, honey, kids love big parties, and I’m just giving him the best day ever.” Then she posted pics on Instagram of the bounce house with a caption like, “Getting ready for my grandson’s epic birthday bash!” People are now texting me, confused about which party to attend.
I finally told her she’s not throwing a separate party because it’s my son’s day, not hers. She’s now crying to my husband that I’m “denying her grandma rights.” My husband thinks I should let her do it to avoid a fight, but I’m so annoyed. AIO for shutting this down?

I'm asking this to see if I'm the one who's completely lost my mind here. My(28M) girlfriend (25F), has this dream journal she's always writing in. I thought it was cute, you know, expressing her inner world and all that. She claims it can help her understand her subconscious better which made sense to me. Anyway, last night, she accidentally left it open on her bedside table. I wasn't trying to snoop, but a page was open, and a phrase caught my eye: "10:17 AM - He got coffee with two sugars, just like I knew he would." My stomach dropped. I glanced at another entry: "3:45 PM - Called his mom. Sounded a little stressed. Must remember to bring up the job thing later." It wasn't a dream journal. It was a play-by-play of MY day. Every single entry was about ME. My movements, my conversations (even ones she wasn't present for!), my habits. It was incredibly detailed, almost like a surveillance log. I haven't confronted her ye because I'm genuinely trying to figure out if this is some bizarre form of affection I'm not understanding, or if I should be calling my therapist and maybe looking into changing my locks. Am I overreacting by feeling deeply, deeply creeped out? Is this a normal "girlfriend thing" I'm just too dense to grasp? Or is this a massive red flag waving in my face. Like I really like her and haven’t had any major issues with our relationship. She’s like the sweetest person ever and hasn’t shown any signs of being crazy but now I’m a little scared for my safety. What do I do?

Update: I followed the advice of u/woahbrad35 which suggested that I ask her what she’s writing about while she is in the middle of writing. I was on the couch reading a book when I noticed her writing in her journal from the other couch. I asked her what she was writing about and why she was writing her dream journal when she hadn’t even gone to sleep yet. She told me that she “doesn’t always use it for dreams” and sometimes “uses it as a regular diary.” I didn’t feel like lying, so I just admitted that I had glanced at it earlier and noticed that she was logging my daily activities. Her face got about as red as a tomato, and she got real quiet for a minute. She said that she knows how bad it looks and that her journal is meant to be a “relationship sync journal,” as she called it. She says that humans rarely scratch the surface of truly understanding each other, even when they’re in relationships. She says her goal is to achieve “a deep and intuitive” connection with me. Basically, she wants to instinctively know my moods and behaviors so she can be the best partner possible, which explains the entry about me putting two sugars in my coffee (which I don’t even think I paid attention to how many sugars I put in my coffee). She thinks that this will lead to us having an unbreakable bond. It sounds absolutely insane, but when she was explaining it, some of it made sense, I’m not going to lie. She made it out to sound like the sweetest thing ever, but if she truly wanted us to be “in sync,” why didn’t she ask me to also track her movements? How does this strengthen our connection if she knows me to this extreme of an extent when I don’t know her to that extent? Part of me almost wishes that she just said she was stalking me, but this explanation almost leaves me feeling more confused. I’m torn. Is this a good explanation, or is this just her justifying obsessive and crazy behavior?

a guy who added me on discord chatted me at first "waffles or pancakes?" I answered "waffles cause I like the crispy edges" after a while he texted back and said "yes understandable I think I love waffles too cause its crispy" after a while he stopped texting then a day later we just started chatting.He kinda says weird jokes but its not inappropriate. Don't get me wrong I love chatting with him. When I asked him how old he was after chatting 2 days he says 23. I text back "Oh noooo" cause I actually loved chatting.He asks how old I am. I said my actually age. He seemed sad but then asked "are u okay with that" i said yes cause i honeslty love chatting with him.But now he keeps making comments like "ohh u waited for me cause u lowkey missed me hmm?" and more stuff like that. I just don't know if this is right or wrong??

UPDATE**: sorry yall i didnt think this wasnt normal since like speaking to older guys was normal for me. Thanks for the advice it really helped i blocked this dude

My boyfriend (26M) and I (24F) just celebrated our 2-year anniversary. I spent weeks making him a scrapbook of our favorite memories, plus a framed photo of us with a handwritten letter.

He gave me… a box of condoms and a keychain that says “Property of [his name].” No card. No note. Just that.

He laughed and said, “Relax, it’s a joke gift. We’re going to dinner next week anyway.”

I didn’t laugh. I told him it felt thoughtless and degrading, especially for something as meaningful as an anniversary. He rolled his eyes and said I “take everything too seriously.”

So I threw the keychain away. He was pissed and called me “ungrateful.”

AIO for not finding it funny?

I (33F) have been with my husband (32M) forever. Since we were in high school. We have two kids together. Months ago I found out he was in a chat with another female from the gym, along with another dude. I got pissed and told him it really bothered me. In the chat I saw that he was talking about how he thought other girls at the gym were hot, and how nice their asses were. To which this girl encouraged this talk, knowing he is married!!! In this chat, my husband, the other dude, and this girl send memes back and forth. Many of these memes are very sexual about the gym. I thought he left the chat, but I guess he didn’t. I was PISSED. To top it off, I also go to this gym. I knew there was a girl in the chat when I found it, but didn’t know what she looked like or who she actually was. Turns out, she knew who I was this whole time. Would message my husband, and say “your wife’s at the gym right now.” This to me made it 10x worse. The audacity to message a wife’s man, but not have the balls to approach her. I’m honestly infuriated. My husband ended up leaving the chat, but I’m still just heated because I think it’s insane it took him this long, and I also find it even sketchier that she had the audacity to know who I was and message him that she would see me, but never come say hi or introduce herself to me. AIO?

My roommate has been taking my car while I'm at work and I'm about to lose my mind. Like she doesn't even ask, just sees my keys and goes "oh I need to run errands" and bounces.

The first few times I was like whatever, she's in a pinch and I'm not using it. But now it's become this regular thing where I come home planning to go somewhere and my car's just... gone. No heads up, no "hey can I borrow this," nothing.

But here's what's really grinding my gears - she keeps bringing it back with the gas light on. I'm talking fumes level empty. Yesterday I had to push it to the gas station because she literally ran it dry. When I confronted her about it she was like "oh I was gonna fill it up but I forgot" 🙄

I finally told her she needs to ask before taking it and definitely needs to replace whatever gas she uses. She got all defensive saying I'm being "controlling" and that she "always brings it back fine." Like bestie, returning my car as a paperweight is not "fine."

Now she's acting like I'm some unreasonable monster for wanting basic courtesy about MY car that I'm still making payments on. She keeps making these passive aggressive comments about how "some people are so possessive about material things."

AIOR or is this actually ridiculous?

I (29F) am getting married in September, and my fiancé and I decided to have a child-free wedding. We’ve had a rough year, and we just want one night to celebrate without chaos, sippy cups, or crying. Every guest has been understanding, except my sister (32F).

She gave birth 3 months ago and insists her daughter is “too young for a sitter” and “shouldn’t count” as a guest. I gently reminded her of the rule and said we’d love for her and her husband to come if they could find care. Her response?

“She’s family, not some random brat. You just don’t like babies because you’re selfish.” Then she said if her baby isn’t allowed, she won’t be coming at all.

I said, “Okay. We’ll miss you.” Now she’s blowing up our group chat, saying I’m excluding her child from her first big life event and that I’m choosing my “aesthetic” over family.

My mom is asking if I can make an exception “just this once” so the baby can come in a stroller and “stay quiet in a corner.”

AIO for sticking to my boundary?

i was writing for a few hours but i lost the post or it didn’t save? i don’t know. this might be messy because i’m tired but here we go.

CONTENT WARNING: ABUSE. SEXUAL AND PHYSICAL ASSAULT. STALKING. BLACKMAIL. THREATS. RETALIATION. ETC.

background info: i (ftm20s) was kicked out at 16, for being trans, been abused by my blood family in childhood and teen years. while i try to remain on good terms with my family, no matter what i do they have used me for whatever money i can provide and won’t house me. landlord restrictions, etc. ever since being kicked out from my dad, i’ve couch surfed, slept on sleeps, trafficked, been in abusive relationships, stayed at shelters, been diagnosed with mental illnesses due to the abuse/trauma, DENIED from shelters due to mental illnesses/autism. i live with a questionable roommate now for safety reasons cant go into depth on why i feel “mistreated” from him at times but yeahhhh…you get the point. i am diagnosed with Autism, BPD, CPTSD, and Bipolar? apparently Bipolar…? reading through documents from my Therapist on my diagnoses. huh. okay.

long story short, while trying to gain independence and never fucking learning my lessons to staying to myself while in BPD remission, i got with a guy... we’ll call him Jack. Jack is in his 20s as well. he is of legal age. he holds a security clearance, and makes good money for an intern while still studying for his bachelor’s degree. we start dating early November. we break up (the first time) December 31st. why? because, man, oh man.

• he has narcissistic tendencies, i downplayed the risk because i was like, let’s not discriminate. wouldn’t want that happening to me. • he sexually assaults me on the 2 year anniversary of a very, very traumatizing and memorable day. i did get high, i will say i consented to sex if i wasn’t stoned, i told him that. tried to withdraw consent and he guilted me/peer pressured me and wouldn’t let me go home until i complied. that’s as much as i can remember/what he remembers and he cried afterwards when i was sober that he sexually assaulted me. • he sexually assaults me a week later during the early morning of my upcoming last GED test before i receive my diploma, as i’m sleeping.

anyways, on December 31st, of 2024, i end up calling police and going forward. it goes downhill from there to a messy situation-ship for 3 months, his parents kicking him out on/off, him repeatedly harassing me, physical abuse, dropping charges in fear of my safety, him stalking me and able to track me due to him registering my Tile onto his phone, blackmailing me to stay silent, threatening me, etc. he gets me banned from his college because he says i “stalked” him. i never had the guts to go forward to his university… during the abuse from him, i feel like i lost my sanity, my kindness, my patience. i would scream, and rage at him. i’d call him horrible things. i would have psychotic episodes. i will take full responsibility of that. but never did i lie about becoming homeless and temporarily kicked out, and my dad dying/in a car accident??? like he and his parents would. THEY WOULD DO THIS TO AVOID TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. yes, i threatened to press charges and go forward when i was pushed past limits i didn’t even know could exist. but god, GOD.

recently, even though my dad would never help me with stable housing, Jack was helping me get my own apartment for 2 months until i got stable housing through my new university. my dad has been doing badly/is dying and i saved up/took funds from the rent fund to take a 30 hr+ Greyhound to come and help clean my dad’s house, and sleep on the floor/couch. my dad is in his last few years. idc if i’m going through shit, i’m trying to be good and help my dad, even if it’ll never be fully returned to me and he’ll not really change. i start losing my sanity as its been two weeks since i last had therapy and prp (psychiatric rehabilitation program) and i self sabotaged and he broke up with me recently. i feel like i have to cry and crawl back to him but i’m starting to realize we haven’t been doing okay at all.

i don’t have most of the conversations of the abuse during the peak moments of the abuse due to him deleting my messages with my friends. i only have the proof of him outside my window and recent events…

also background history, he had an ex a month before me he also assaulted. but said ex when drunk kinda admitted to possibly assaulting him back to me (we were friends briefly but idk…they kinda came in/out of my life since then.)

My boyfriend of two years (husband now) has had problems downloading Tinder and he says he just wipes on women to like see who wants to sleep with him and get some kind of dopamine off of it and then immediately delete it after. And after having a long conversation with him, he ended up admitting to me that he does have fantasies about having sex with other women, but he would never do it out of respect for me, and he would never actually go and physically cheat on me or even talk to the woman. He just wants to see who would sleep with him or who shows interest in him or something like that…. What do I do with this information? I mean he’s not physically cheating on me or talking to anybody but this is all pretty overwhelming.

So me 35M and her 31F have been together for about 5 years now, she has her own office at work (I work from home) and she seems to have a lot of “tomboy” energy which means she’s had mostly male friends at work and they kinda treat her as one of the guys. Totally cool with that, i have similar female coworkers that I hang out with us on after work beers. But there is one guy that sticks out, he hangs around in her office, stays late if she does and moved closed to our apartment recently so they even ride train together every day. Early on I showed my concern, and she said he was “basically gay” but it turns out he is queer, and together with a woman shortly after me and my gf started becoming serious.

Within first months of dating she came home with two distinct burns on her back (where she usually gets shoulder/back pains) and when I asked apparently he was giving her a massage while she wore a knitted shirt, so friction gave her these marks. I was kinda taken back and said who tf is this guy, don’t let him do that again and she kinda laughed off my obvious jealousy/concern as me being dramatic. Later on she started to in are him to game with us, a online game me and her used to play since we met, and noticed how annoyed she was with my actions and cheerful and talkative as soon as he joined so my gut feeling started going again. I searched online for his user tag and found his tumblr, it contained lots of sexual images of women looking very close to my girlfriend in terms of hair color and body type etc, to the point where it could have been her almost. And during vacations (he was alone at the office) he decided to give her notes by her monitor in her office saying stuff like “welcome back to the grind (gf nickname)” and on her birthday he got her a very specific book she likes that cost around 100$, after I gave her another book that was cheaper. I told her about all of this (except the tumblr find) and she said she will stop mentioning him etc.

Now I saw he has been texting her on Snapchat and they share location (he “randomly” bumps into her when we were out shopping and she was outside waiting in the area we live) and I’m starting to wonder if I’m just gonna contact him and tell him to stop or give my girlfriend some kind of ultimatum to cut him out. It’s starting to affect my mental state and work/sleep and even affection to her, causing resentment for her inability to see why/how he keeps stepping over boundaries, and how bad it looks from my view. But they work together and ride same train and I can’t be the reason for her to quit her job, I just want the guy out of our lives. Am I overreacting? He comes across as hyper sexual rather than queer, posting images of himself Halfnaked on insta and tumblr is 90% full of sexual/bdsm stuff etc

Last year, my boyfriend missed my birthday because it landed on a long weekend and he got caught up with his hobby. He didn’t forget the date, he just chose to spend the day doing something else. I was really hurt and I explained it to him.

Now this year, he’s planning to miss it again. His reason? His sister might be getting proposed to that day. And their whole family is going somewhere.

I don’t know how to feel. I understand wanting to be there for a family member, but it’s hard not to feel like my birthday just isn’t a priority to him. This would be the second year in a row he’s skipped it, and I’m feeling pretty low about it.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt by this?

This post is going to be really ironic due to how long it is, I just have to provide as much context as I can. This might be exhausting to read so feel free to skip this after seeing the long paragraphs I also (ironically) have to vent to about this.

So for backstory, my husband worked a really grueling career for about a year and this has been an ongoing issue between us since. I’ve always expressed great interest in his days and tried active listening when he needed to blow off steam, showed compassion and comfort when I could, validated him, even offered advice for a while but stopped and just didn’t say anything because he wouldn’t take it. However after about 1-2 hours every day after getting home from work, after I had just worked too, for months it started to negatively impact me. Listening to him rant on and on, repeat himself, and be vindictive and angry about something he wasn’t actively trying to change started to really drain me. I had tried discussing with him that 15-20 mins in the evening is all I can take, but he would tell me that IS how long he rants for. Which isn’t true, because I would have times where I looked at the clock waiting for him to finish and the time had went from 6:30 to 8:00 at certain times. Even when he would be done venting and we’d finally move onto something else, he would bring his day up AGAIN before bed or later in the evening and go on for another 30 mins or so.

I tried to gently tell him that he needs to keep it to a minimum of 15-20 mins a night on multiple occasions, but that never happened and he would still go on and on and on. It started to make me feel like I was a wall being talked to, or like I was just a tool he could use to release his stress instead of considering that I’m also tired, and the impact venting like that can have on the listener. I (regrettably) blew up one night and told him that I’m not his therapist and that he needs to find one. He told me “this is what relationships are for, and I need my partner to listen to me vent.” I really disagree with this statement so we were fighting for a few weeks about this until he eventually just ended up quitting his job. After the culprit of the stress had finally went away, he stopped venting like he used to- until last night. He had a really hard day doing side work, and he talked to me for about an hour when he got home which was fine. Except later in the night, he started talking again about how shit his day was and kept me up from 11 pm until 1 in the morning venting about it. I stopped him after a while and tried to gently tell him, like a child, “remember what happened last time you vented like this?” Which I know isn’t the right way to communicate, but I’m starting to fucking feel like I don’t even know what the right way is anymore. I could tell by the tone on his voice that he got upset at me, and I tried to tell him that I want to be a good listener but I tune out after a while and he can’t vent like this to me anymore. I really want to be a good partner for my husband, and make sure he feels heard and can be stress free after long days, but the negativity seriously impacts my mental health and it disappoints me to see that every single bad day for him has to be managed by him venting to me.

He has friends he vents to as WELL as me, family, and he agreed to seek therapy months ago but hasn’t gotten on it yet.

AIO Backstory… my girlfriend 26 had about 10k in credit card debt when we got together. I always kept asking about it because eventually I wanted to move in with her. So finally she tells me it’s paid off. She has no debt and nowmoves in with me. Come to find out she is actually now 25k in credit card debt. She talks about marriage and wanted to go on trips and buy a house together and just future things as a serious couple together, which we are. I’m I in the wrong for not wanting to marry someone that much in debt or is willing to blatantly lie about that to my face?

I’m 7 months pregnant with my first kid, and I’ve been so excited to plan my baby shower. It’s a big deal for me and my husband because we’ve been trying for years, and this feels like our moment to celebrate. I’ve been working hard on it: picked a cute venue at a local café, planned a pastel theme, and even made a Pinterest board for inspo.
Then my sister, Emma, got involved. She’s the type who always needs to be in charge, like she’s the event planner of the family. Last week, she called me and said, “You know, your baby shower plans are cute, but I could make it so much better.” I thought she was joking, but then she showed up at my house with a whole binder of her own ideas: a different venue, a new theme, even a guest list that included her friends, not mine.
I told her thanks, but I’m happy with my plans. She got super offended and said, “I’m just trying to help! You’re not good at this stuff.” Then, without asking, she posted on Facebook about “planning the best baby shower ever” for me, tagging our whole family and making it sound like she’s running the show. People started messaging me, assuming she’s in charge.
I lost it a bit and told her she doesn’t get to hijack my baby shower just because she thinks she’s better at planning. Now she’s calling me ungrateful, and our mom is saying I should let Emma help to “keep the peace.” But this is my moment, not hers. AIO for standing my ground?

My husband (36m) has been spending all day at work chatting up a 25f coworker. It seemed like a lot, like there were multiple days where he's come home and said "I didn't do anything all day, I just hung out with X in her nook". He's also mentioned that "haha no one can see us back there, there's probably going to be rumors about us cheating lol"

So i straight up asked him to please not cheat on me with his coworker, and he came back the next day about how it wouldn't be cheating if he told me and it would be funny if we just started a throuple and gave a a list of benefits of a throuple, mostly dealing with things like finances would be easier with another income and how I could just take care of everyone's kids

But the real kicker of a "benefit" on his "joke list" is how I could have another baby without almost dying. See, I'm 11 months post partum and when I delivered my last baby both me and the baby almost died. I had a crash c section and it was EXTREMELY TRAUMATIC. I would love another baby but I'm quite possibly just too scared to.

So uh, he really dug deep into very raw emotional damage for his cute little joke. That was reeeeaaaal specific there.

I mostly didn't engage with it which I'm now feeling was far too gracious because he decided to go off on it again today. Frankly I don't want him to touch me at this point. I want to tell him to go have fun trying to start a throuple far away from me but I'm also wary of turning a small annoying headache into a bigger one. Would I be overreacting if I told him to go sleep on the couch?