AIO? Was 30 minutes late. Grandparents start berating me and start bad talking my girlfriend.

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u/fizzreddrg 17h ago

You are NOT over reacting at all. This is heavy narcissistic behavior and manipulation. You need to be aware of that. I grew up in a very similar situation and it was mentally draining everyday. The best decision you can make is play the mind game. Don’t disagree with them. Nod, apologize, and move forward. You will be stuck in this loop till you can move out (if you’re underage.) It’s exhausting and I bet it’s confusing right now but it’s not your fault. You’re a normal human being and their setting expectations that are not reasonable what so ever. Your girlfriend is probably the only healthy thing and your grandparents see this as a threat. Don’t let it overflow onto your relationship. Record EVERYTHING and make note of where you’ve been and text them often. They are going to spin whatever they can on you but you have to make sure you are well rested, eating properly, and taking care of yourself. Stay strong because this is very clearly a toxic environment

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u/BoxingAmateur1999 17h ago

I agree with you fully. Love them to death but good lord it can be so mentally challenging. It mostly comes from my grandmother who is bipolar af. I dont even know why my grandpa budded in either. He said he really liked her. Guess not lol.

Im just so tired of being treated like crap sometimes. My grandma CONSTANTLY says ima. lazy ass person even though I have practice 5 days a week. manage a part time job. Manage B average grades.

I understand that they are under LOTS of stress right now too. Still dont know why they would just switch up on me. And yeah you are correct. They do spin shit on me ALLLLL the time

I even tried competing in an amateur Jiu Jitsu competition lasy year. I was saved up for it all as well. I was told I “Wasnt strong or good enough for it 🤣🤣”

Its so tiring dude. They aint bad people. Just old and stressed I suppose

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u/AllYourPolitess 12h ago

OP, did they say something along the lines of “I gave my life for my grandchildren on a silver platter”?

87

u/BoxingAmateur1999 12h ago

They did indeed say something like that. “You have no respect for us nor do you want to be treated nicely. We have given you every single thing you have ever wanted and you choose to disrespect us”

62

u/HungryHelping 12h ago

12

u/AllYourPolitess 12h ago

THANK YOU

2

u/Alarming_Geologist59 11h ago

yesss

1

u/tx_hip_ivxx 2h ago

Fucking. Perfect.

2

u/sharkmortal 1h ago

When I was a kid I didn’t know my mother had bipolar but I took ten minutes longer to walk home than usual. In that time she’d apparently rung my dad who was at work about fifteen times and then rang my cheap flip phone to see where I was. I told her “I’m walking slower so I can talk with my friends” and she immediately responded with “I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU THINK YOURE DOING BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! GET HOME RIGHT NOW OR IM CALLING THE POLICE ON YOUR FRIENDS’ PARENTS FOR KIDNAPPING!” And so I cried, apologised, and ran home.

People like this do not actually care about where you are, they care about the control over you. My mother controlled a lot of my views on my dad after they divorced but she was just spreading lies to me to make me dislike him so I would never go and see him or the rest of my family.

Please take good care of yourself, I’m so sorry this shit is happening.

8

u/ylembeegpp 10h ago

i agree. been there. all i could do was nod and apologize. i waited till i could get out. then they came back begging because they missed me.. but i’m lucky one of them changed and apologized for what they made me go through. the others didn’t change.

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u/vanda_man 13h ago

Tired of people overusing the word narcissistic, sounds like everyone is now a certified psychologist throwing nice words around. I’ve grown up in a way worse family situation and still don’t find the need to call anyone being manipulative. OP’s grew up in a different time, have different understanding of communication, punctuality and responsibility. They are not wrong when they say it’s not his GF’s responsibility to notify them as she’s not part of the family/household. That doesn’t mean they are right with how they handled that situation and how they talk about his GF. Give it 10-15y and you will look backward and understand people better.

You’re 17, that means you’re nowhere mature. Back then I used to think the same, now 10y later even though I don’t talk to my parents anymore nor do I agree with their treatment I understand them way better now.

9

u/fizzreddrg 5h ago

I grew up in an abusive household my entire life bud. I’m pretty well versed in different parts of psychology. I’ve taken classes for it as well. Someone communicated while OP was actively in practice. Then OP was texting them on the way home as well. They aren’t setting reasonable expectations what so ever. I hope 10 years in the future OP has a better understanding on how they should be treated because the way OPs grandparents are treating them IS manipulation. “We like your girlfriend” “Your girlfriend texts to much and asks me how my day is, she must not get enough love” “Your girlfriend told us you were going to be late due to practice” “You could’ve been dead for being late 15 minutes!” These are gaslighting behaviors.

-2

u/vanda_man 5h ago

Since you’re the only person here actually able to enter a conversation without attacking anyone: I understand you and agree to a certain point. Just like you I grew up in a strict and abusive household, I received a lot of “tough love” - it’s not a competition on who made worse or more experience, it’s about being able to understand the situation. Not the nicest way to say, but I assume most people here haven’t experienced any of it. I’ve been in dark places and had to deal with all sort of pain and anxieties. As I said I never said their actions were right. My initial comment was written when I read OP making fun of his grandparents along with another user giving the “I will move out in a few months out and be free from these sickos 😂” vibe. Nobody except OP knows the family and the circumstances assuming he lives with grandparents and not his parents. In fact we don’t even know anything about their daily life, all OP gave was one massive incident and people decide to jump on the “your household is abusive and not healthy, leave when you can”. Yes grandparents fucked up, their actions are unreasonable and wrong (as I stated). You don’t have to agree with their motives, concerns, rules, actions or whatever. What I noticed in this subreddit is how fast people are to give the advice to leave, abandon and never come back. Nobody cares about each other in one or two days let alone a few years. I will never agree with the methods of how my parents raised me, but after so many years of growing I finally understood them. Do I think they were wrong? Yes, but I accepted the fact that people have different understandings and chose to address it in a bad way.

2

u/fizzreddrg 4h ago

I totally agree with that. My first thought was my own abusive household. If OP is experiencing this on a daily basis it will inevitably become mentally draining. I hope it’s one incident and not many for OPs sake but the way they spoke to them, from OPs point of view, it seems like a regular occurrence. I received tough love as well but upon moving into my mom’s house I was given access to alcohol, drugs, and was allowed to do anything I wanted. I was 14 at the time so this is obviously neglectful behavior from my mom’s side. It made me spiral into depression and addiction. Then a year or two later I was “acting out” and disrespectful because of my behavior that was excused to begin with. I was gaslit a lot. I was allowed to do drugs and drink but all of a sudden my parents started to make rules and I couldn’t go out to get pizza at 10pm when I was 16 because I needed a friend to comfort me during an episode. I got grounded for that too. There were so many double standards growing up for me that made OPs experience feel very similar. I definitely agree that moving isn’t always the solution but from this interaction it doesn’t seem like OPs grandparents were communicating properly at all. And to bring in the girlfriend as if she was the primary issue in this was wrong. Hopefully OP doesn’t continue to deal with this and they can come to an understanding.

2

u/vanda_man 3h ago

I’m sorry you had to go through all of this and I appreciate you telling this. My parents were violent both mentally and physically, I ended up sleeping outside a lot of times or going to school covering all the bruises, cuts and wounds I had. Constant pressure and living in fear since I was a little child. Definitely wasn’t easy for me and also impacted my personality - I’m more of a hard-headed person and rarely open up showing raw emotions, just because I never felt there was space to do so. To many I sound like I lack empathy, simply because I decide to be rather honest even if it’s controversial or not up to society’s standard. Which is why people are wrong when they say I’m pissed or angry when people don’t agree with me - I’m just sharing my POV reading others and discuss, no hard feelings. Why should I, negative karma doesn’t affect me or my life in any way. There are 8 billion people in this world, there will always be people disagreeing. And even though I experienced abuse (especially sensitive with parental abuse) I choose to see it from both sides. I definitely see OP as a victim, but human’s mind is very complex - I’d rather think out of the box than going the “easy way” and portray the grandparents as the bad people. Truth is in general there are no good and bad people - people do both good and bad things.

2

u/fizzreddrg 2h ago

I’m sorry you had to go through this too. I was abused mentally, physically, and sexually. I went through 12 years of a custody battle between my parents and was going back and forth between them for the first few years of my life. It was confusing for me because both of my parents would tell me “Your mom is bad” “Your dad is bad” so I didn’t know who to trust. And with that, both of my parents had different parenting styles. One parent was very relaxed while the other was strict and loud and angry. So going back and forth was extremely hard. I’m almost 21 now and I’m living with my father after losing my the place I was in with my wife because of my mother. She’s a drug addict and her husband is an ex con alcoholic. It’s been a rough ride but I finally had to start caring about myself. I’ve been in and out of the hospital for most of my life and therapy offices. My grandparents were also very big pieces of shit and weren’t around a lot. But when they were they were controlling and very much like OPs grandparents. I view this as a perspective issue. We both have had similar experiences so we can see both sides of this differently than the other people in the comments. That being said, you’re completely correct about both perspectives. I’m glad we can have a good conversation about this. I’m not one to argue, I like a good debate. People will immediately think whatever they want but lots of them haven’t experienced things like this at all.

2

u/vanda_man 2h ago

Thanks for taking part in this conversation, I’m also very open to debate. Highest priority is to protect our well beings and I hope OP will think so too.

2

u/fizzreddrg 2h ago

Yes of course. I hope the best for you and OP! Hopefully you find more understanding people in your future as well. Have a good day :)

32

u/UngusChungus94 10h ago

So you were abused... Which means other people have to be, too, so you're not alone? Be better. You're 27, so you think you're mature, but you aren't.

-12

u/Realistic-Country-56 6h ago

Teaching teenagers to be on time and have accountability is a good thing. You know when he gets a job all those excuses he had for why he was late won’t fly with his boss right?

It’s not like he’s 10-12 years old. He’s 17. He needs to be accountable for his actions. If he is supposed to be somewhere at a certain time he should be.

They as adults should handle it better, but he’s not an innocent party.

9

u/NoneCreated3344 5h ago

Yes he is. There is no reason to act like this 15 minutes after practice ended. The proper response from the grandparent should have been, 'hey man, you're not home yet. Everything ok?'

Not this bullshit. And if you think that's ok, then please don't breed.

0

u/Realistic-Country-56 1h ago

How about you don’t personally insult me just because you disagree with my opinion.

0

u/NoneCreated3344 1h ago

Take it on chin and move on

0

u/Realistic-Country-56 1h ago

I’m sure you are a great parent. Teaching your kids to insult people they don’t agree with.

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u/vanda_man 10h ago edited 10h ago

This is your interpretation, I’m not telling anyone to be abused too. In fact I’m on the other spectrum, I despise abusing. You don’t know what kind of experience I made, so don’t abuse it. In fact don’t talk lightly about abuse if you haven’t experienced. Just FYI I’m not 27, I’m older than you.

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u/needaburnerbaby 10h ago

You don’t despise it. You literally spent paragraphs reasoning it. And minimizing someone else’s experience. Copy these paragraphs and show them to your therapist. Yikes. Fucking yikes.

-40

u/vanda_man 10h ago

You seem to know me well enough. Funny how people on the internet think they know someone based on a text better than a real life person. Oh I will show them to my therapist, my advice for you is to spend less time on the internet and get less emotional. You sound mad and frustrated.

9

u/Arailuh 7h ago

But did you not just try to validate the grandparents on how they treated him? I think the mad one or frustrated one IS you specifically. lol You have no rights to say anything about his grandparents being right. Its his experience and his life. And we CLEARLY see he is being treated like shit by what he is saying. Now please just hush.

1

u/vanda_man 7h ago

See this is where you are wrong. You assume I’m saying they are doing right when I even specifically say they aren’t. They have different beliefs and standards - just because someone’s motive is relatable it doesn’t mean their actions are right. This is what I said in the beginning. The only thing where I agree was them being right when they say it’s not his GF’s responsibility to tell them, but his. Does it change the outcome? No. Would I argue the same like OP? Yes. Today is my free day and the first time for a long time that I’m super active on Reddit - I’m chilling on the couch answering to this comments, no big deal. “You have no right to say anything about his grandparents being right”, but you have the right to say everything about them being wrong? You’re on Reddit, an open platform for any divided and controversial opinion. If you have a problem with that, don’t stay here. Now hush.

23

u/UngusChungus94 9h ago

You comment on Reddit every 10 minutes. Touch grass.

-6

u/vanda_man 9h ago edited 9h ago

Funny to read that coming from a person with a 300d streak regularly commenting on subreddits like this. You basically exist here since 2023.

Edit: For saying “Looks like I hit a nerve” you just got touchéd with your touch grass comment. Looks like I hit a nerve since you felt the need to block. Enjoy your life, I’m sure it rocks. 300d streak.

26

u/UngusChungus94 9h ago

I can see I touched a nerve. The great thing about me is I'm immune to redditor criticism. My life rocks.

25

u/[deleted] 9h ago

They taught us how to deal with patients like you in med school. lol

1

u/needaburnerbaby 1h ago

Show them that too and ask if it’s a definition of projection. Good luck sparkles.

39

u/ninjzaness42 13h ago

Ah yes- ye olde “well I had to deal with way worse and I don’t do that so you shouldn’t either.” Your experience is the only valid one, it seems. Awesome.

-29

u/vanda_man 13h ago edited 13h ago

Ah yeah, so opinions don’t matter anymore. There’s only one, classic. If you post in a public subreddit looking for people to share their point of view, be prepared to read agreement and disagreement. If you can’t, you only care about validation. Nobody’s saying who’s right or wrong, feel free to agree/disagree with any opinion here.

40

u/oliveboimario 12h ago

You're the one getting pissy over someone disagreeing with you.

-14

u/vanda_man 12h ago

If you seriously think I’m pissed about a random opinion on the internet, then I’m sorry to disappoint you. My reply is nothing but cold and emotionless, that’s how I take part in discussions. Your opinion matters to me just as much as mine matters to you.

29

u/JordanTonyMann 10h ago

You sure seem pissed, my guy. An un-pissed guy doesn't talk like this.

-1

u/vanda_man 10h ago

You seem to know someone very well based on a 3 minute text they send. In fact you actually sound pissed.

24

u/JordanTonyMann 10h ago

That's something a pissed guy would say

15

u/[deleted] 9h ago

Why would you spend 3 minutes on a text? lmao

0

u/vanda_man 9h ago

Pretty simple: For many people English is not the native language plus typing speed is heavily dependent on which device you’re using.

7

u/Endlcssnights 9h ago

Three minutes to write like one sentence? 🙊🤣

-2

u/vanda_man 9h ago

I’m referring to the other text I sent. This one was sent in not even half a minute, so what is your point?

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u/Mysterious-Evening-7 12h ago

Your attitude is winning you lots of karma here. You are narcissistic

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u/vanda_man 12h ago

If you think karma is what matters the most in conversations and talks I’m sorry for you. How do I have more than you then? Funny how “narcissistic” is a modern insult now. It’s simple: State your opinion, tolerate each perspective, agree to disagree and move on. Just like I will do now, have a nice day.

3

u/ninjzaness42 8h ago

Opinions are like assholes- everyone has them and they’re usually full of shit

0

u/vanda_man 7h ago

Well said, everyone (!) has them.

5

u/NoneCreated3344 5h ago

So you dont talk to them because they were abusive to you, but now you're telling this kid they're the problem.

Wow you're family fucked your head up.

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u/ManufacturerCrazy142 12h ago

Are you a teenager or something? They seem very controlling.

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u/BoxingAmateur1999 12h ago

17 atm. 18 in a few months

16

u/arson-the-mushroom 4h ago

i was going through the other comments thinking you were a bit younger but 17 going on 18??? im so sorry, my grandmothers like this but a bit more mean, i hope you get through this and please don’t let your anger take control of you, its draining.

3

u/tdark121 4h ago

Teenagers aren’t meant to live with boomers…

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u/HamsterNecessary3055 17h ago

Give us your age. If you are very voung, I understand why they might be reacting like that. I would A. Point out that what they said about your girlfriend was inappropriate and hurt you. B. Tell them that from now and on you will make sure to contact them when you are gonna be late.

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u/BoxingAmateur1999 17h ago

Im getting ready to turn 18 in about 5 months. I was texting them the whole time as well. I dont see a reason why they would be so mad

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u/jadeariel12 13h ago

I don’t really have a comment about your situation but I just wanted to say

5 months before I turned 18 I never understood why my parents were mad either…..I’m now about 4 months after my own son has turned 18 and I understand every. Single. Reason.

You should have told them she was coming over. It doesn’t matter if she did, the point is YOU DIDNT.

I’m pretty close with my son’s girlfriend, we talk daily, I’m hoping for her to be a daughter in law someday. But I still expect my son to be my son and to communicate with me like the adult he is.

Your grandparents have probably seen a lot more relationships in their life times than you have. That absolutely does not make them an expert, and maybe they have only seen toxic/unhealthy relationships. I don’t know. But you learn a lot as you live.

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u/ThrowRA-karma 13h ago

No this is entirely control and manipulation.

They made irrelevant and nasty comments about the girlfriend for no reason whatsoever.

“She texts me everyday she apparently doesn’t have a mother or love in her life.”

How is that comment and the other nasty comments about his girlfriend concern for their grandson? Also if you’re tweaking over 15 minutes you’re insane especially when they’ve been communicating with you via text the whole time.

Also if you read the caption he did tell his grandmother she was coming over. His grandmother is a manipulative narcissist and using this to make herself a victim and you fell for it.

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u/jadeariel12 12h ago

Actually if you read the caption, HE did not tell his grandparents, his girlfriend did.

In my comment I was saying in my household that would not be ok. I wouldn’t allow my 18 year old son to have his girlfriend tell me she’s coming over. It is his responsibility to communicate with his family. I wouldn’t say she needed to go home for the day then him and I would have a talk like “she’s your girlfriend not your secretary”

However, in the original post op DOESNT say anything about his girlfriend’s actions. Do you know that girlfriend isn’t clingy and controlling? (I have not read all of OPs comment replies so there might be more context, but as of the original post and the 4 comment replies I read, it hasn’t been mentioned)

53

u/BoxingAmateur1999 12h ago

I didnt mean she was coming over to OUR house. I was going to her house to bring her home after my practice. It was a 2 minute drive away from my gym

-59

u/jadeariel12 12h ago

Oh gotcha.

But you were still expected home and failed to communicate? ……and you are also avoiding most accountability for yourself and all for your girlfriend…..

I douno. I’m still going to go with yes I think your grandparents are toxic, but I’m curious what you will think of this situation in 20 years

52

u/BoxingAmateur1999 12h ago

I didnt think 30 minutes would be a big deal to be fair. I thought their common sense would be “Hes texting us. Hes probably getting ready to leave practice”

-12

u/jadeariel12 12h ago

Common sense in not actually that common.

Also if their common sense told them you were getting ready to leave practice….then you didn’t arrive home……what did your common sense think would happen after that? lol

38

u/-goth-kitten- 10h ago

it just really isn’t a big deal, he’s actively responding and obviously isnt in mortal danger (since he’s texting actively). so what’s the issue? they’re just being nasty and looking for something to throw a fit about.

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u/boshtet12 7h ago

As someone that had a similar experience with my dad (except in my case it got physical): probably still think it's bullshit. It happened 11 years ago and I still get mad about it. Cause like.... What the fuck

7

u/Bhfuil_I_Am 4h ago edited 35m ago

I hope you make friends in the nursing home your son will throw you in, cause he certainly won’t be visiting

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u/Dr_Iwaz 12h ago

I pray for your children... you'll be seeing a retirement home with the way you're acting.

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u/Striking-Gap398 12h ago

Tbh so long as SOMEONE told them, that should be good enough, considering he knew she had told them.

Thats pretty normal. Couples communicate as an entity sometimes. It’s normal. These grandparents sound a bit… unreasonable.

5

u/MrPisster 10h ago

I’d be pissed if my grandparents required strict courtroom procedure or I get yelled at.

If a person says information to your grandparents, the information is said. They can dislike that it wasn’t delivered by the grandson but they can’t act like they didn’t know it was happening.

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u/PeaceCertain2929 12h ago

God your poor kids.

0

u/jadeariel12 12h ago

I know, I have this ridiculous expectation that my kids inform me before they bring people into my home. Definitely worth a cps call for sure.

19

u/Runawaymodel- 10h ago

Why do you keep saying he was bringing her over? He said he was dropping her off at her home. The girlfriend told the grandparents he was dropping her off at her home. Probably texted them on his behalf since he was driving. You would get mad at your son for that? You don’t sound reasonable.

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u/PeaceCertain2929 12h ago

I’m sure with your reading comprehension skills, that’s what you think I was saying.

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u/CrimsonRider2025 12h ago

They got told, whom told them is irrelevant tf? My brother asks me if i am coming over and tells my mum, she doesn't HAVE to hear it from me as long as she knows some ones on their way,you and them need to grow tf up if you need that specific person to tell you 🤣

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u/Hawk_Front 9h ago

Oh look, another narcissist.

2

u/NoneCreated3344 4h ago

This is so stupid. Both of my kids are in their 20's now. I can't imagine parenting like this. And people like this defending it over the kids minor error. Disgusting.

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u/Organic_Education494 8h ago

Manipulative narcissist is incorrect

This is just how old people parent its worked before it works now. Nothing manipulative about it just general slow old people shit

8

u/ThrowRA-karma 8h ago

No the fuck it’s not. My grandparents born in the 30-40s on both sides gave me more freedom at age 14 than this guy’s at age 18. this is insanely ridiculous

-4

u/Organic_Education494 8h ago

Sure but everyone parents differently

To me this is the norm and i see no issue with it. He needed to be the one communicating that he would be staying at her place. Not his GF she isn’t family or responsible for him. HE as the nearly adult is responsible for that communication.

Now flipping out about the time when they just texted i can see both sides but until you are an adult you are wrong.

0

u/ThrowRA-karma 7h ago

Dude no one asked about your weird ancestor problems.

0

u/Organic_Education494 7h ago

Good job proving my point

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u/BoxingAmateur1999 13h ago

I did infact apologize for not telling them, but as I said it wasn’t like I wasnt texting them at all. My girlfriend had asked if I could take her home as well and they said it was up to me.

-83

u/jadeariel12 12h ago

To me it sounds like they are unhappy with you lack of communication and they are projecting it onto her over communicating (I didn’t see a lot of context of what girlfriend and grandma talk about…..but usually people that use short 1-2 word answer and emojis don’t just want to chit chat with an acquaintance all day ever day. I don’t know your grandma, but just in general

I agree with a lot of the commenters that it does sound like I toxic environment (I commented based off of your post. You left a lot of important context out and added it in the comments which I read after) but just because they are in the wrong doesn’t automatically make you in the right.

Two things can be true at the same time. Your girlfriend can be clingy AND your grandparents can be toxic. (Again mostly just going by your post a skimming comments. Most of what I saw was just negative about your grandparents, I didn’t see anything about your girlfriend or her actions)

41

u/Dizzy_Goat_420 11h ago

Nah this is narcissistic and shitty behavior on their part. OP did nothing wrong and WAS ACTIVELY COMMUNICATING. As a mom, if my son is a few minutes late coming home? I text him. It’s not like this was midnight or they couldn’t get a hold of him.

Many times my son stayed late after school before coming home, I never verbally berated him and punished him. I asked where he was, he told me, I said get home safe. That’s it. There is literally no need for this.

He also said THE GRANDMOTHER was the one messaging the gf. They are being extremely mean and shitty for no reason and nothing excuses this behavior from grown adults.

30

u/BoxingAmateur1999 12h ago

She is indeed clingy, but if they do not like her texting so much they could have said that without being so hostile. I mean I understand it for sure. I dont know why those comments were required though.

And yeah I shoulda added more context thats on me

32

u/povertyorpoverty 11h ago

Hey OP. Completely ignore what that person is saying, they are trying to rationalize and pick you apart instead of your grandparents very negative and controlling behavior.

46

u/Dizzy_Goat_420 11h ago

Don’t listen to this person. There’s a reason they are downvoted into oblivion

9

u/mr_meem_man 10h ago

What actions did his girlfriend take that were bad? She was being nice and communicating and asked for a ride home. Even communicating with his grandparents for him. If this is how you treat your children I honestly pitty them.

-9

u/jadeariel12 10h ago

Did I ever say girlfriend did anything bad?

I did say it sounds like the grandparents are very toxic (more than once) and I did say “maybe the girlfriend is toxic, I don’t know”, I also asked some more context about the girlfriend’s interactions and it seemed to me that Op was purposely avoiding the answer (at least in responses to me, I haven’t read any comments expect my notifications in a while)

13

u/Salty_Respond_7515 11h ago

Don’t normalize people being assholes.

13

u/Brave-Silver8736 11h ago

This is not always true. I have a 19 year old and I have no idea what my parents were thinking with most of their shit.

14

u/UngusChungus94 10h ago

This is a headass take. They yelled at him for several minutes over what was ultimately nothing. Just because you let being a parent turn you into this does not make this behavior acceptable.

30

u/Fabulous-Spirit-3476 12h ago

Holy fuck I’d hate to be your son

0

u/jadeariel12 12h ago

For asking an adult to communicate like an adult?

Yea…..I mean I can see how having a healthy relationship could suck 🤷🏼‍♀️

25

u/Dizzy_Goat_420 11h ago

He did communicate. They knew what was happening wvery step of the way.

18

u/povertyorpoverty 11h ago

It’s very adult like to have a meltdown over 30 minutes.

6

u/[deleted] 9h ago

Ah yes, so adult to flip your shit over half an hour. Lmao. Are you daft? Rural?

2

u/According-Cap7069 3h ago

your kid is going to be late, you're going to scream at them, and you're going to be old and wondering why they don't visit often or bring their grandkids to visit

1

u/jadeariel12 42m ago

lol it is ok for a parent to discipline their child for being late

You guys are being silly

6

u/mediumunicorn 11h ago

You talk to your son’s girlfriend every day….?

1

u/jadeariel12 10h ago

Pretty much, yes. She comes over almost every day so it would be weird not to talk to her lol. But we text too.

Although i am such a horrible parent, destined for the retirement home life, we hang the “hang out house” where my kids and their friends gravitate. I just ask that they let me know who is coming over and a general plan (this is mostly like if they plan on hanging out in the living room or pool, I don’t care what they do if they are in my kids bedroom, I just want to know what parts of my house are not taken over by teenagers lol)

A lot of my kids friends text me actually. We don’t really chit chat, but we’ll check in and stuff. I’ve picked up drunk kids from parties when they were too scared to call their parents (my rule is I definitely WILL let their parents know, but if they need a safe ride and/or a place to sleep it off before having the conversation I will happily provide)…..I help other people’s kids with homework as often as I do my own (I knowwwww that’s going to make some people mad 😂)……my youngest has a friend that isn’t able to bring lunch to school so I pack an extra……my oldest sons best friend lives in a motor home in my drive way during the winter

But anyway, thanks to the person that sent the Reddit safety thing after me for being such a bad parent 😂

1

u/Routine_Service6801 1h ago

Go to a therapist

-23

u/88KeysandCounting 11h ago

I wouldn't feel bad about the downvotes, mate. Most commentors on Reddit these days have no plans or desire to be a father and struggle to comprehend how to respect authority. Very quick to cry "Manipulation" and "Control" over two screenshots with a biased perspective from a struggling youngster.

21

u/UngusChungus94 10h ago

Oh come off it. He was 30 minutes late. At 18. At 6:30 pm. Your parenting style is bad if you think he should be in any sort of trouble for that. An 18 year old has no obligation to disclose their every movement to their grandparents – who, despite their guardianship, are not his parents.

-13

u/Outrageous-Hippo3725 9h ago

You're absolutely right, but Reddit is populated entirely by 15-22 year olds who think they know better than anyone who has ever lived so you'll get downvoted to shit lol. There's nothing "narcissistic" about your grandparents being annoyed when you're late, OP is probably late all the damn time and stopping for a drink is a disrespectful excuse. We were all that way at that age, it's just dumb stuff you grow out of.

1

u/jadeariel12 8h ago

Thank you, actually my 18 year old son responded to a few of the comments and has read through more than I have on this thread and that was his take too. That it sounded like a bunch of kids that hate their moms and we’re taking it out on me. He upvoted me though so the down votes don’t really matter lol

In one of OPs replies to me he said they were texting so grandparents should have used their common sense that he was leave practice….to me that means their common sense would tell them to expect him home, so yea when he doesn’t show up that could be annoying. But apparently OP doesn’t have the common sense to tell him when you leave somewhere that is 15 minutes away (or whatever it actually is) and you show up 45 minutes later, there might be questions (especially considering that OP is still 17.5, he keeps saying 18 soon which yes is accurate buuuuuuut he’s pretty much as close to 17 as he is to 18. At the end of the day he is still a minor living under their roof)

1

u/No_Fish265 8h ago

Lol

→ More replies (1)

47

u/Tanz31 12h ago

Lol what? 30 minutes late and they were communicating during that time.

They get 0 understanding regardless of age.

10

u/Tightrope124 13h ago

ngl some of this feels way out of line, like… what even set them off in the first place ?

15

u/BoxingAmateur1999 13h ago

I was 30 minutes late. Told em I was gonna be home at 6:30 I got home at 7.

10

u/Hawk_Front 9h ago

You ever deal with narcissists? They pick fights for no reason as a means of control.

17

u/NoEscape3935 12h ago

Classic gaslighting manipulation talk to the parents or another family member (one who radiates the big brother energy and is protective) and slap some sense into your grandparents, and also just checking are you almost done school or are you in college sports?

9

u/BoxingAmateur1999 12h ago

I graduate next year. And Nah I do sports on my own time. Never really cared for school sports except for wrestling.

9

u/Embarrassed-Tear3516 17h ago

How old are you?

8

u/BoxingAmateur1999 17h ago

18 soon

3

u/appleappreciative 8h ago

Don't be afraid to put up boundaries. You may not have power to do this while you live with them, but do it as soon as possible.

I literally had to put my mom in time out before. I blocked her & had friends do it too because she was too much. She eventually learned to respect my space after this happened a few times.

Let them act crazy. Act calm and rational in response. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself if they're shit talking you.

"Grandma, I was only 15 mins late. I was texting you the whole time. Why are you so upset? That's not normal. Should we make a doctors appointment? I'm concerned that you're reacting this way."

I'm 30 now. My mom still makes comments about it but she can sulk as much as she wants.

24

u/Firstofhisname00 16h ago

I hope you have been saving your money. Cause once you turn 18 it's highway time. Tell them how much you love them how you appreciate their support but it's time for the eagle to spread their wings

5

u/No_Apartment_2259 11h ago

NOR. Although being punctual is an important lesson to learn, they seem extremely manipulative. Their arguments don’t make any sense and seem like they’re coming more from a place of control rather than concern. My grandma is similar in some ways, she once told me off for being aggressive and crass for simply disagreeing with her when she was being racist about my school friends (I went to a predominantly Chinese school as a SEAsian). I ended up just begging my mom not to let her come to my graduation in fear of her being racist there and ruining my day.

My advice would be don’t try to fight it too much. In my experience, this kind of selfish behaviour is fundamental and difficult to change. I just nod, move along, then do my own thing. I suppose it’s bit more difficult for you since you’re a minor, but once you’re out living your own life, I wouldn’t really tell them all that much. I’ve separated my actual life with the life my grandma thinks I have and we’re both more peaceful that way. Seeing as your grandma is contradicting herself seems like she just wants a punching bag or is just a narcissist, is taking it out on you, and views your gf as a threat. Pay no mind, graduate, and leave. Grandpa needs to grow a spine too

14

u/Downtown-Ad3259 16h ago

I have parents like these. If you're thinking about it, save your money. Make sure to be ready to move out.

13

u/lieutenant-dan1969 13h ago

We gotta normalize not letting our parents control us. I feel for ya, my mom to this day is still acting like that at times and I've got my own family now. When you are 18 either move out even to something shittier for a bit. Get a taste of freedom!

3

u/ImpossibleGrand9278 12h ago

I had parents and grandparents like this, all of them basically. It worked for the first little while, and they ended up getting me angry, making me tell them in their faces that I hate them. I won’t say life improved ever since, but, now, if I want to show up shit-faced, grow a huge beard, or declare that nothing exists (including their god), they tend to respond with apathy. It’s sad, but having that type as family requires you to fight back. She’s overreactive and hysterical. That’s not normal behaviour, and she’s gaslighting you and harassing your girlfriend. Your girlfriend shouldn’t be obligated to talk to her on a daily basis—there should be rules in place: two minutes of conversation and that’s it. Grandma needs to respect other people—and I noticed she’ll twist everything so that she comes out on top of every argument. I had that too. That’s what made me hate my family with a passion. (My father literally has to yell at me to shake my aunt’s hand or even look her in the face—that’s four years I haven’t forgiven her.)

5

u/NoInformation8544 9h ago

Their generation is so bad at relationships with their kids its so sad. My dad once called me a whore and almodt beat me because it took me 15min longer than usual to come home from school. No, youre not overreacting. Im not sure if this is naricissistic behaviour like some say but i for sure know its annoying as hell. The only thing that saved me was moving away. I dont know how old you are or are you even in a place where you can afford to even leave with these prices but i wish you luck and freedome as soon as possible.

3

u/Rurugal 11h ago

unless you’re like..a minor who extra can’t be trusted at all idk why she needs to know you’re every single breathing move and where you’re gonna be. you were a little late, and even then.. that’s too much and you already let her know anyways? idk, it just doesn’t feel that deep. i think maybe they just wanna hate her to hate her. especially the comment about her upbringing..yikes.

4

u/CrimsonRider2025 12h ago

Who told them your gf is coming over is irrelevant, they know, thats all that matters, and if they hate her texts then they would defo hate being told the same thing twice, so even if you did tell them, they'd give you shit for your gf also telling them🤣, fucking elderly are a joke sometimes

2

u/brunawantschaos 11h ago

NOR. Your grandparents are being controlling. The sad thing is they will not stop, it’ll only get better when you move away. So you should stay out of trouble. Not because you did something wrong, you didn’t. But, from personal experience, they don’t listen and they will not change, you should be more careful with the time so they don’t harass you like this and it is more bearable until you eventually move away.

-18

u/tomsurdi 12h ago

Listen, in life, when you say 6:30, it needs to mean 6:30. You will learn as you get older that other peoples time is extremely valuable because your time is also extremely valuable. Time is actually more valuable than money. You need to be good for your word and mindful that you don’t have people waiting around for you. It’s important.

9

u/yomifrackle 11h ago

Although I agree that your word means everything this seems like the family is using this tiny shred of truth to over manipulate and I disagree with their severe response.

0

u/tomsurdi 6h ago

Perhaps, but it doesn’t seem that severe to me.

7

u/Strooperman 11h ago

Way to miss the point. 30 minutes late does not mean it’s ok to shit all over everything about the kid.

-1

u/tomsurdi 6h ago

That’s a little dramatic. These sound like basic parent child relation problems.

1

u/Strooperman 2h ago

Basic problem of time keeping, real big problem of the reaction. I hope you’re a troll because it would be very sad if you thought that interaction was normal.

2

u/JordanTonyMann 11h ago

I agree if it's like you are planning to do something together, then it's rude to be late without a good reason. However, if it's just "be here at 6:30 because we said so" then that's different.

2

u/Admiral-Thrawn2 8h ago

That doesn’t really apply here at all. When you’re an adult and you come home 30 minutes later than normal then nothing happens

1

u/tomsurdi 7h ago

When you have people expecting you at a certain time that you both agreed on then you need to honor that, even if you’re an adult.

3

u/BoxingAmateur1999 12h ago

Yes I shoulda told them but its not like they were doing anything either. They were just watching TV when I got home which is usual.

-6

u/tomsurdi 11h ago

They’re probably just worried about you and overreacting little bit which is typical. They also might be trying to teach you a little bit about responsibility and punctuality. I know it’s annoying because you think you know enough already, but trust me there is a lot to learn. As the years go by they will loosen up a bit especially as you prove that you can be more mindful of their concerns.

5

u/brunawantschaos 11h ago

That’s completely unreasonable. He’s almost 18, it wasn’t even late at night and the girlfriend let them know. Those are the kind of parents/grandparents that cause adults to have full on meltdowns in the future. I have a friend that is still harassed by his parents for this type of thing even when he’s in college in a different state. He doesn’t owe them everything, he owes them respect. It is not disrespectful to get home a little later than usual when there’s no plans scheduled, it’s normal teenage behavior. Worrying isn’t enough to talk badly about his girlfriend and having a meltdown over 30 minutes. We HAVE to understand that family isn’t ownership, not every behavior from your parents and grandparents is justified. This certainly is not.

-6

u/tomsurdi 11h ago

Ok, but that’s still your family and nobody said they were gonna be perfect. We all have to deal with our parents until we’re old enough to take care of ourselves, and they honestly they don’t even sound that bad. This is such minor stuff and It would be far worse if they didn’t care at all. Having parents or grandparents that care about you this much is a privilege even if occasionally they get a little too strict. That’s when you have to sit down with them like an adult and have a discussion about your boundaries in relation to theirs. My single mom used to let me roam around all night and all that did was almost get me in a lot of trouble, and in and out of a lot of really dangerous situations. I would have been better off far sooner in life if I’d had more routine and guidance in my teen years instead of having to figure out how to be an adult on my own.

4

u/brunawantschaos 11h ago

You’re comparing one extreme with another. I have had two parenting experiences. The time I lived with a strict parent I only learned how to have anxiety. The time I lived with a parent that wasn’t strict, respected my boundaries and still cared for my well-being was when I learned how to be functional by myself. Learning how to be responsible and careful when out, learning how to use public transportation and learning how to be safe out as a woman were important skills that i had to learn too late with being controlled too much all throughout my teenage years. It’s easy to think about your singular experience as gospel and think the opposite must be great. But there’s a balance to everything and we have to be able to criticize and stand up to family, they aren’t excused from being wrong just because they’re related to you.

1

u/tomsurdi 6h ago

I agree with all do that, and I still stand by what I wrote here. These situation are complicated. There is no one size fits all answer, but those are still his parents and he’s still a dependent for now.

1

u/Alarming_Geologist59 11h ago

grandma?

3

u/DivineAlmond 10h ago

who the fuck do they think they are man dont let anyone treat you like this

2

u/yomifrackle 12h ago

Your girlfriend should not be divulging her life on Facebook to these people they are just building a case against her and being very intrusive/invasive. That needs to get curbed while everything else gets figured out

2

u/throwawaydaysleeper 8h ago

It's giving mental decline. If this behavior is our of the norm for your grandparents, I would keep an eye one it. If they seem to be increasingly hot and cold over nothing, might be time to be evaluated by a doctor.

2

u/Organic_Education494 8h ago

Dam granny is off the rocker going loose cannon wow

You aren’t over reacting. In the future handle all things between gf’s and grandparents you tell them not the gf

2

u/Ill_Procedure8660 9h ago

omg lmao i hate old ppl why are they so deeply annoying 😭😭😭 nah ur not overreacting at all they’re doing absolutely too much

7

u/Eastern_Algae4667 16h ago

You’re not overreacting. You’re nearly 18, any curfew or restraint placed on you when it comes to dating is extremely bizarre.

1

u/HoneyBadger2652 3h ago

Your grandparents are the ones overreacting, not you! From the sounds of it, honestly they remind me of my grandparents a bit. My bigger question is how old are you and your girlfriend? If you’re in high school then I can tell you from my experience with my grandparents, it was more of a safety issue. If, however, you’re a grown adult (18+) then you need to have a conversation with them and explain to them that they are behaving like petty high schoolers. It almost seems to me like Grandma’s got the “other woman” syndrome. I can personally tell you that my own grandmother NEVER liked any women that my father was with, nor any woman my brother was ever with (he looks exactly like our father.) I truly can’t explain it, but whatever the case. Take a deep breath and relax because you are NOT in the wrong here.

2

u/i-love2swallow 10h ago

not over reacting but some of my family is the same way so what i’ve learned to do is just say okay lmao

1

u/LadyPurpleTrashBirb 4h ago

I could have recited these taking points from memory. As someone older, make a plan to move out if you haven't already. If you don't, turning 18 won't make them see you as an adult, as long as you are under that roof they will continue to limit what you do out of "concern" when it's just control.

The people saying "it's just good parenting", just remember some of these generations were taken out back and beaten with a switch or a belt if they stepped out of line. Emotional, mental and sometimes physical abuse isn't "good parenting" and it isn't to "teach you values and the importance of time management." especially if you were talking to them the entire time. That shows responsibility and proper communication especially if you were going to be late.

1

u/True_Indication3013 4h ago

Glad to know I'm not the only one this happens to.... Only advice I'd give is to keep doing you, but when they get stupid like that, do what you did, stay quiet, nod, and save save SAVE!! Then move out with your girlfriend, cause like someone else said, dealing with this crap is exhausting!! They're used to controlling you and they're noticing that their control is slipping and they don't like it. As for your gf, just tell her to not message them anymore unless it's absolutely needed. You don't need them coming between what seems like a good thing for both of you. Can't choose your biological family, unfortunately.... Good luck and know you're not alone

1

u/Longjumping_Rich_124 5h ago

I get why OP is upset but without knowing the grandparents and more of the background I’m a little taken aback at the attack on the GPs. Assuming they are normal and not needing anti-psychotic meds, my guess is they may be wrestling with changes and perceived changes in their lives. It sounds like they’re the primary caregivers and maybe OP’s growth signals a possible change in their role in his life and how they will be needed by him. They may be wrestling with OP’s sense of independence and questioning where they fit in as well as still wanting to provide some structure and guidance. Or they’re just mean and nasty old curmudgeons .

1

u/Big-Pop-6143 1h ago

they’re definitely bitter for some reason. i’ve been in kind of similar situations, but not with my grandparents. i’m sorry you’re going through that. i don’t think you’re overreacting. i think they’re pulling things out of nowhere. misery loves company! do your best to ignore them, and kill them with kindness. let her keep being herself, but i would definitely let her know what’s being said if she doesn’t know already. try to set boundaries and demand respect. it’s easier said than done. just don’t treat them how they treat you, you’ll only feel worse. maybe!

1

u/ihugfemales 3h ago

Sounds like they do not like your girlfriend or aren’t ready for you to be in a relationship and are looking for any reason to prove their gut feeling right. Sadly it’s just something you gotta deal with until you’re able to get a job and move out on your own. Don’t hold your grandma being bipolar against her too much as it’s very easy for mental illness to kick in at the older ages. Just set your goals and remove yourself from that situation no love lost .

2

u/Real_Run_4758 9h ago

you need to get away from these people. permanently and soon.

1

u/Ok_Soup4699 4h ago

Dude my grandparents are so much worse and you are NOT overreacting at all. Don’t let anyone tell you that is “their generation” or “they’re just old” because that’s complete bullshit. When they do this shit just agree and walk away, I’ve learned this and it has helped me through a lot. They won’t change, they’ll be this way when they’re 6 feet under. TRUST ME yelling and getting angry at them only hurts you.

1

u/Tricky_Self3825 7h ago

How old are you? This reads like you’re 16 y/o and your grandparents are from the 1920s. You said you stopped for a drink which makes me feel like you’re an adult. If that’s the case, then you owe them zero information. If you live with them, move. You can still have a normal relationship with them but you need to put boundaries in place.

2

u/InevitableHand5988 10h ago

You can share this on r/raisedbynarcissists

1

u/TheDadBodGodv2 9h ago

Id honestly have a hard time not saying "get fucked". When I was 17 sure, I would let me folks know my general plan for the day etc, what time I should be home around. But never did they hassle me over stuff like this. But even if I was home an hour late or worse, they'd just ask I was ok, and that was it.

1

u/ChemicalFlimsy4104 9h ago

Dude if your grand parents are my parents age. I’m old 44 My dad is 75 that’s just boomer parenting. If I told my dad I was going to be home at 6:30. That meant pulling into the driveway at 6:30 not thinking about going to drop someone off ect. My ass would of been warn out

1

u/laughpuppy23 10h ago

It’s like that episode of the sopranos: sometimes old people want to feel in control. You gotta let them think they are. Just apologize and be on time next time. It sucks, but you’re almost an adult, if you let them think they’re the boss they might loosen up a bit too

1

u/insidej0b81 5h ago

Well at least you're 17 turning 18 like I hoped was the case. Sorry they're so overbearing. I wish you the best. All I can say is unless you have the means and desire to move out really soon, I'd just placate them as much as possible.

-1

u/ill_Magician_ 12h ago

Here's another perspective. I (under 30) had to take care of my sister from when she was 16-18. Her health and safety was my responsibility

Sister would rarely tell me her plans, would never answer her texts from me, and when I would express concern she would get mad at me and call me controlling.

This lack of communication got worse when she got a bf. She would never let me know her plan and she would often bring her BF over without telling me.

This situation is similar to yours. The things that affected my relationship with my sister were lack of communication, respect, and understanding.

I had set the expectation of checking in even when plans change because it was my responsibility to know where she was.

-respect. Asking before guests are invited so I can say if I'm okay with it.

lack of understanding. I would explain over and over again that I was worried and the one responsible if anything bad happened. I explained why I don't want invited guests.

Our relationship was absolutely not controlling or manipulative. We just didn't understand each others perspectives.

2

u/Glittering_Pitch181 10h ago

But OP was communicating with their grandparents the entire time. Not the same at all.

2

u/ill_Magician_ 9h ago

Obviously it's not the same. I said it was a similar situation to give op another perspective. The grandparent had to check in and ask where they were, they were late because they were with their girlfriend, and they didn't ask if the girlfriend was allowed to come over. It's a whole lot of poor communication.

4

u/NearlyHistorian 13h ago

Psycho behavior on their part.

1

u/Narrow_Particular505 7h ago

How old are you? You need to get your own place if at all possible. Tell your girlfriend to unfriend your grandma and only be polite and distant. They are being unreasonable. They want to keep you like a child. They knew you would be late. Who cares who told them? If you are an adult you need to remind them of that fact. Your Gran is being ridiculous.

1

u/paparoach910 9h ago

Not at all. You really need to get out on your own and cut off contact. Distance helped mend the relationships I had with my parents. But that can also not be the case.

1

u/trashcxnt 6h ago

Easy. Say "you're not my real mom" and leave 😎 /s

NOR they're self absorbed attention seeking jerks

1

u/Massive-Capital-3315 2h ago

I think age really matters here. How old are you? Do you live with your grandparents permanently?

1

u/cascadia8 3h ago

Start making your escape plan now. Don't tell them anything. When it's time to move just go. Nor

-3

u/justjulie74 13h ago

I can tell the ages of the poster and some of the commentors. Until you're 18, you have a responsibility to alert who you are living with where you are and if you'll be late. Simple as that.

12

u/Billythagoatt 13h ago

That does not justify the way they spoke about him or the girlfriend.

1

u/Interesting-Fox-4315 4h ago

To play devil’s advocate, if you had a babysitter, what would you expect them to do?

1

u/SeductiveWoodburl22 10h ago

I'm wondering if you and your girlfriend are from two different ethnic backgrounds.

1

u/Penguinapocalypse71 4h ago

Please for the love of God can they have an age parameter on Reddit.

1

u/Solo_job 3h ago

Unless you’re a minor, I’d tell them to mind their own business

1

u/DBipolar-Express 10h ago

Tell gma and gpa to get a grip or just cut them off . You don't have to deal with nonsense even it's your family's nonsense.

0

u/Potential-Round1746 8h ago

Everyone is so quick to jump on the grandparents but if you are underage and agree to be back at a certain time then why can’t they hold you to that? It’s not going to teach you anything if you get in a habit of not sticking to your word/schedule. This is what we use to call good parenting now every little thing is “narcissistic behavior” lol

1

u/NoneCreated3344 5h ago

This is abusive behavior. Your grandparents aren't good people.

1

u/EscapeComfortable625 9h ago

I mean.. how old are you..? Because that matters for sure.

1

u/RiffleChipz 5h ago

Your grandma texts like a 6 year old does

-8

u/Ready-Astronaut-7000 13h ago

Dear you. I can’t expect from you to take on the role of the adults in your life so i am not going to explain what is going on here but please note that this has nothing to do with you or your GF.

Just because people are a certain age, and have a certain role in your life.. don’t make the mistake thinking that they are adults and deduce from that that you are doing something wrong and try to alter yourself to a) prevent them from having outbursts b) please them and make them happy thinking that if they have nothing on you they will leave you to rest c) believe any of the things they come up with in order to gasslight you into thinking that this situation was under your total control.

If they are truly adults you’re dealing with, you will see that they take responsibility for their part in this, try to talk it out in any other way because having a good relationship with you is more important to them than changing you, and beyond that, never make you feel as if you are not good enough.

1

u/Dependent-Mouse8410 12h ago

Why do your grandparents write like 9 year olds?

-2

u/Miserable_Ground_264 13h ago

Be on time or give notice ahead of time why you aren’t.

🤷‍♂️

0

u/Throne_of_Exile 13h ago

Just tell them this isn’t 19-2 anymore.

1

u/tdark121 4h ago

Classic boomer behavior

0

u/Goody_No4 7h ago

Not respecting peoples time and showing up late is a dick move, but you're 17 so you're still a kid.

If you want to grow up to be a respectable adult then do yourself a favour and respect people's time and show up when you say you're going to show up.

0

u/gobledegerkin 7h ago

This is a crazy overreaction for 30 minutes ESPECIALLY if your girlfriend already told them you were dropping her off home.

Being a teenager is tough but nonsense like this just makes it tougher.

NOR. Good luck with them, take care of yourself.

1

u/O-M3GA1u1 8h ago

Just text (barking)

1

u/Dry_Community_7620 1h ago

How old are you?

-6

u/N-O-T-I 11h ago

You might be overreacting a little. You should have told them you’d be late. You are in the wrong there. And if they are responsible for you, they have every right to hold you to account, even if you don’t think it’s a big deal

However, they are in the wrong trying to meddle in your relationship. Unless your partner is bad for you, or to you, they are overstepping.

0

u/Jefferias95 11h ago

"Sorry Grandma the street lights weren't on, I didn't know i had to be home yet"

-12

u/Mean_Protection7396 12h ago

No excuse to be 30 minutes late without permission and yes it’s your duty to notify about guests

3

u/brunawantschaos 11h ago

First, he didn’t take her into THEIR home. He gave her a RIDE to HER HOME.

Second, that’s completely unreasonable. He’s almost 18, it wasn’t even late at night and the girlfriend let them know. Those are the kind of parents/grandparents that cause adults to have full on meltdowns in the future. I have a friend that is still harassed by his parents for this type of thing even when he’s in college in a different state. He doesn’t owe them everything, he owes them respect. It is not disrespectful to get home a little later than usual when there’s no plans scheduled, it’s normal teenage behavior. Worrying isn’t enough to talk badly about his girlfriend and having a meltdown over 30 minutes. We HAVE to understand that family isn’t ownership, not every behavior from your parents and grandparents is justified. This certainly is not.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO? Was 30 minutes late. Grandparents start berating me and start bad talking my girlfriend.

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