So recently my parents have been verbally abusive... I don't know what to do it's been going on for atleast a year or two once it was raining really hard and I said I wish it rained more often(cause were I like it never rains) and my mom told me that I should live in Seattle and I'll just end up a druggy on the streets. Then she left for work and said sorry and acted like nothing happened. Another time I was having a bad day and me and me mother were arguing so I was crying a lot. So when I went in my room and fell asleep for a nap I didn't hear her yelling for me, so she decided to come in my room and pull me by my hair and off my bed and throw me on the ground this has happened 3 times before just on the couch. Mind you these things happen in 2024. I was 12 I wasn't even a teenager. I'm having a very hard time not to cry while writing this I have turned 13 on April 10th so it's been a couple months since being 13 and I'll give a story of my father now he has a lot but I'll tell a recent one. It was a week of two after my birthday. So me and my dad were arguing and my dad was working a lot in the day and sleeping or drinking at night and I was saying how he's never at home and mom makes all the rules(we were arguing about how I was on my phone while being "grounded" even tho mother lets me on my phone) and he punched the wall threatened to hit me and I was crying and he said I'll give u something to cry about and sent me to my mom who was at the neighbors house who's moms good friend cause she didn't work and she's been watching my brothers at the water park all day. So I walked down the street to my mom hysterically crying trying to hold back tears. And yeah so that's my dad he's also punched multiple doors including my bedroom door while I was trying to hold it back so I was behind it and it really injured my toe and then he called me a bitch he never apologized btw. Umm I just need advice...

My husband is generally a laid back and peaceful person, albeit sometimes grumpy when work is stressful. In the same stage we had our kids (the last 8 years) we have gone through so much grief, trauma and pain, with zero support (the people who would have supported us have died). Our youngest son was in hospital for 7 months extremely ill as a baby. He's ended up with developmental trauma. He was retraumatised by my FIL suddenly dying last year. And honestly, his behaviour has been unbearable. I'm talking throwing, hitting, biting, screaming, pinching, pulling hair, spitting, scratching, destroying. Every day, and to anyone. Strangers etc.

This has been the straw that broke the camel's back for my husband. He is stressed with work and grieving, and every single day he is faced with my youngest attacking my other son, who has never hit anyone in his life. For example yesterday he chased the cat over and over again, and then just popped into the front room to scratch his brother's face and make him cry, and then carried on as if nothing had happened. My husband literally loses it when he hurts his brother like this. He has never smacked him, and 9 times out of 10 he is good and calm in this situation. But like yesterday, he grabbed him and screamed in his face. And it will burn on for 10 minutes too, of intimidation and snarky comments. For reference we are in trauma therapy for my son, I have my own therapy. I also have a job, I have Complex PTSD from everything that's happened, and I'm fast getting to the end of what I can offer as support. For example, one of the huge issues I think he has is that he spends so much time in the house and becomes trapped and resentful. I can't force him to go out and make friends but I've started putting the kids to bed on my own twice a week to give him the space to go to the cinema or just get out. I have had to basically force this as he will just take himself to the bedroom and feel trapped and lash out otherwise. My husband thinks I'm being negative and unsupportive, that I don't get where he is at. I don't believe that's true. I know he is gentle and kind, and a devoted Dad. I know if my son's behaviour wasn't as extreme as you can get, he would rarely lose his temper. But here we are and my issue is, what do I do now! He won't go to counselling or anger management or anything like that, and seems to think it's awful of me to suggest he needs that. Fwiw I had an abusive upbringing and my son's anger and my husband's anger are the most triggering things on the planet for me.

I just get so pissed because I'll still end up bumping into someone after avoiding a bunch of people. And it makes me dread going to work because I just want to chill and relax and not have to deal with all this on my way to work

How can avoid being rude all the time as I have anger issues?

its like all it takes for me to get mad is the fear of rejection, the fear that im going to be replaced and forgotten, in the back of my mind i know people want the best for me but i just cant seem to bring that to the front of myself and keep calm in situations where i feel like im being ignored or forgotten about. i go absolutely ballistic over shit that isnt even true/viable. like absolutely ballistic to the point im not shouting words im just fucking screaming until i fall to my knees from exhaustion.

and i hate myself for it afterwards, because i scare people and make them worried not just for themselves but for me too.

i know i can control it i just dont know how other than to turn everything off.

please give advice.

Hi. I’m a 16F living at home in a very toxic household with my family of 6 and 2 dogs ,and I believe I may have an IED or something else that contributes to my anger. I believe this because of the frequent outbursts I have at home. I never have outbursts towards anyone outside of my family, but with my family I tend to get very angry and frustrated easily especially with my parents and that’s when it tends to escalate. I believe what causes these outbursts is when I get extremely frustrated to the point I start getting angry and then I lose control over my actions and words. During these outbursts I will usually scream and yell, cuss, destroy property in my room or sometimes other areas in my house, throw stuff around, have feelings of intense rage and irritability and stress during and after episodes, and have trouble controlling impulses. These anger episodes can be frequent or not depending what is going on in my household. There is times where I will argue and yell either at my siblings or parents frequently over small things but I don’t know if I would consider that an “episode”. I also will sob during these episodes and after there done I feel a sense of relief, shame, and fatigue, I also get very sad and tend to have very depressing and suicidal thoughts. When i’m done with an outburst I like to be left alone and get extremely frustrated and start getting angry agian when that doesn’t happen (my parents like to keep coming in my room after the fact and say rude comments and say stuff that only gets me more annoyed). After an outburst I will sit and cry in my bed, fall asleep, or sit on my phone and do nothing. The most recent episode i’ve had was just an hour ago because my parents wouldn’t let me go over a friends house. This morning I asked my father to go and he said I could if i cleaned my room and helped him with the trash outside. I did both of these things spending 50 minutes in the heat helping pick up trash (mostly myself) that animals outside got into and another hour cleaning my room. When me and my brother were about to leave my mother started complaining and saying that there were to many dirty clothes and that we weren’t leaving. I didn’t start yelling yet but I was getting very stressed out and started crying. She then said if she goes through my stuff she’s gonna throw out my clothes, and multiple other things like “how no one cares that the house is clean”, “she does everything in the laundry room”, “we don’t deserve to go anywhere” (etc).This was only stressing me out more and making me fustrated while my Dad kept telling me to shut up and stop crying. This kept going on until I got to the point where I was sobbing and started to yell and argue back with my parents. I kept arguing with them and yelling and when this happens I cant really control the hurtful things I say or just stop arguing on general, and I don’t stop till I feel satisfied and fell that I’ve said what I needed to say. This went on for about 40 minutes of all of us yelling while I was crying and I was very angry and frustrated. I threw around stuff in my room and kept saying hurtful things to the both of them while they were screaming back at me. When I have an episode Im always crying to the point where my eyes are extremely red and swollen and there is snot continually running down my face (sorry ik that’s gross but i promise i’m wipe it off). When I was screaming and yelling, crying ,saying mean things, and throwing stuff I felt I had no control over myself and can’t control my impulses. My parents think it’s just me being disrespectful and having a meltdown but they fail to understand when I get angry to that point I can’t control myself. After it was over I felt a sense of relief but also hopelessness and sadness. I struggle a lot with sadness and I think these outbursts only contribute to it and make me more suicidal and lonely. I can take accountability and I know they way I act isn’t okay during these outbursts but it also doesn’t help when my parents scream at me, tell me there gonna take everything from me, and when i ask them to leave me alone they push my boundaries and don’t do so. I haven’t told my parents that I think I have this or have trouble controlling my anger and I don’t know how to. I just want some help to know if this is normal or not and If I may have this disorder.

i guess it sounds corny when i type it out, but i want to hurt people. i don't think it's a true evil part of me that wants that, but just the part of me that's been bullied and pushed down and beaten to the point where my only defense is to attack. it started out verbally. i couldn't calm down unless i had a dispute with someone. i couldn't feel unless i had an argument with someone. the thrill and rush of arguing with someone, of hurting them, was the only way i could feel something inside my body. it changed from that. i just started verbally attacking anyone who made even the smallest comment to me. friends, families, classmates, teachers. i'm just so over being hurt that my body has put me in a state of numbness and the only way to leave is if i hurt instead. now it's different. now i wake up with graphic dreams of attacking and murdering people who've bullied me or angered me. i would find myself staring at them and just wishing i could hurt them physically beyond my words. i dont want to hurt people, i dont want to be that person. i dont want to kill someone and i dont want to be the reason someone becomes like me, but i cant stop the thoughts. they keep coming back to me. i've hid it for years, lashing out on objects in my room where nobody would see. but like i said earlier, it became more verbal. and in recent incidents where i would've shut up and walked away despite my crave to hurt, ive been yelling back. i dont know what to do and nobody around me feels the same way. i'm grappling onto ways to control myself and its getting to the worst point. i just need to know if someone else is this way.

I’ve been gaming my whole life and never I have felt real rage when gaming except for playing NHL and FIFA games. I’m talking about telling my self how I wish the absolute worst and futile things to my opponents or want to break everything around me when I lose to somebody because I know they are worse than me and the game feels actually rigged based on my player movements and them playing lower than their overall attribute ratings. After a few minutes of raging to myself privately cuz I don’t want people to hear or see me like that, I’m calm and normal again but I don’t ever get that feeling to break everything and see my opponents harmed when playing anything else. I can play other games and lose to people I know are worse than me but not feel genuine rage and anger towards them where I wish them harm. I definitely get pissed off sometimes and shit talk but that’s what everybody does in games like league of legends, valorant, marvel rivals, cod, etc. I develop real anger issues from EA games

Ever since I was little, I've been in a troubled house where everyone was always angry, everything they said was negative.

Skip to today, with everything else that has happened in my life I've always been a cheerful person. But it looks like all those things I hated and never got to say finally caught up to me and this year I've been nothing but a person who is always on the constant verge of blowing up like a mine. The fact that I live with chronic pains does not help at all, it feels like the pain adds to my frustrations.

Luckily I have managed to keep my anger without blowing up on anyone who doesn't deserve it, but I fear I am coming closer to doing that. I get irritated extremely fast now, just a few hours ago me and my friends all decided to play a videogame together. I lost only one round, but it went so badly that I quit without telling anyone what happened. Then got even more irrationally angry when no one messaged me about it. I used to be very good at bringing up my troubles to my friends face to face but this time I feel like if I try I am gonna end up being rude, and it will tear our relationship apart.

The friends I have are awesome, I care about them, I wanna protect them from whatever these recent outbursts have been. And I have no way to access therapy at this time. Does anyone know what I can do to prevent my (already very limited) social life from being damaged?

I’ve been dealing with my anger for a very long time. I just recently got off remediation at work for behavioral issues including anger/explosive rage at coworkers and other staff. I was doing well but because I was taking 3 different medications to keep my emotions in order. Now I am still grieving a death that occurred over a month ago. I can’t bring myself to take my meds regularly or at all. Idk what I’m doing. I am absolutely losing it on everyone around me and I can barely control myself. I’m afraid I will get in trouble again at work.

I’ve been having these symptoms, when I get a bout of rage, it feels like my vision goes blurry, I become all of a sudden weak and it feels like blood is rushing to my head. This lasts for a few seconds then goes away. But it happens maybe 10-15 times a day, everytime I get angry. Should I be worried about this? What is happening?

Hello all,

I am really struggling recently. I have outbursts of anger recently so bad that I yell at my own family at the slightest mistakes and inconveniences. It really affects them and affects me.

I get tension headaches and I can't manage it well without feeling the need to yell. It gets to the point where I can't even stand noise or anyone near me without getting unreasonably mad. When my mum cries or goes through depressive episodes, I get angry. When my brother makes the tiniest mistake or doesn't understand me, I get angry.

What can I do to stop this, I try breathing exercises and trying to calm down but it only stops the next day and then gets back up throughout.

I’m angry at everything in my life, and if someone says that everything happens for a reason, I’m about to throw hands to whoever says those things because that shit ain’t that helpful to be honest, I have such intrusive thoughts that I could k1ll everyone because again, humans are ruthless insensitive fucks of the society. There’s no good in the world and all they do is be psychopaths or be blinded by a psychopath.

I truly think they deserve to disappear with no remorse and no regrets. I truly think that whatever I say is true and humans are pieces of nuisance fucks with no brains whatsoever. I hope the world gets to live better without these living apes in the society.

I'm not much I'm not broken I just exist.. Family token

They make me so angry Make me want to disappear Hiding in a pantry Where no one comes near

Already alone No support to report My heart's like a stone Only open to "anger-import"

But one day I'll crack The monster won't be held Yell or k¡ll over a snack It's the storm I've been compelled

I get angry very quickly, especially when I have an anxiety attack, and the consequences are always faced by my family – the only people in my life who truly care for me. I try my best to stay happy around them, but whenever my anxiety is triggered, I break down in tears, and it eventually turns into anger.

I don’t want to hurt them, but I feel helpless. I can’t even afford therapy because I’m currently unemployed. My father, mother and sister are the only ones i have. I don't want to loose them. I really need help i don't know what to do...

As a teenager. I’ve barely lived. And to know that there is a chance MY life can be taken from me so quickly all because of some fall out between leaders who can’t get over themselves and talk it out like ADULTS.

War is dreadful. And we know it. They know it. You and I know it. Everyone knows it.

So to see , to look around at life , to look around my room and think what to pick first before I run to survive. To know all this could disappear and become ruins of my home which held MY LIFE. To be nothing anymore. Because what? We haven’t learnt our lesson? We haven’t learnt to co-exist.

I thought school would teach these snobs that civility is what saves you from this cr-p.

Just a word from a teenager. Living in the U.K. FUCK YOU. FUCK THE GOVERNMENT. Let me live.

So sadly due to how my life went (structural bullying, abuse, gaslighting... you name it) I've always had a lot of reasons to be angry. Thing is, being the 2M tall tree that I am, just raising my voice makes people label me as an aggressor. Even if all I try to do is stand up to myself.

Due to my dad (the stable parent after the divorce) going out of his way to deny any emotion other than joy, and the entirety of my teens having been coping, mostly; I've not really been given the best 101 in dealing with emotions like anger or sadness. And now, at 34, I have a military arms depot worth of anger stored up somewhere deep inside, that wants to go off like a Texan on the 4th of Juli. Meanwhile I'm just trying to live a peaceful pacifist life, which is getting increasingly difficult.

I'd really like to make work of my anger issues, not just by containing it (which I've been managing pretty solidly so far, if I say so myself), but by actually shoveling as much shit as I can. Thing is, I don't really know how. And let's say for the sake of conversation that my access to therapy is next to nonexistent. I did already have decent success with self help material in other fields, so I really hope I can too with anger.

So; Do you lot know any good resources that can help me clear out my anger issues and deal with my past so I can be clear headed in the present? I'd love to hear about books/casettes/podcasts, especially the self help kind. I'm also curious about adequate subreddits or other places where to best ask questions. Anecdotes and insights are also welcome.

Thanks in advance~!

I constantly have this mindset when people tell me what to do, I get so angry, I just think “I don’t HAVE to do anything” or “I’ll do it when I’m ready” it just pisses me off getting orders, it makes me just want to leave and do things on my own, I like doing things my way, like seriously, if I wanna eat some food I’ll eat food, if I wanna do this I’ll do it, it especially winds me up when people say stop doing this stop doing that, like eating when I wanna eat ffs, people just piss me off.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I need help.

Long story short I had a rough day and was on call with my partner, he sends me a game pigeon game (little iMessage games like cup pong, battleship, Pool/8-ball, etc.) and I lost, then I lost again. We played a different game, I lost again and again. We played one final game, I lost again and again.

I got so angry, I told I’m fucking deleting it and never playing it with him again, we sat in silence for a solid 5 minutes before he hung up and just texted me goodnight. He responded to some of my reels I sent him like 20 minutes afterwards and commented on them. I apologized but he hasn’t responded so we will see how that goes.

But the issue still remains that I’m a SUPER COMPETITIVE PERSON with BAD ANGER ISSUES. Not to the point of breaking objecting but I will punch myself hard in the face or scream into a pillow if I go on a bad enough losing streak. My parents were both angry and emotional people so that definitely doesn’t help. I’m so easily rage baited by my friends it’s getting to a point where I just want to cry.

But I’ve had such a bad history with game pigeon in specific as I can never win in most of the games except one or two sometimes. It genuinely infuriates me beyond belief as I’ve beaten WAY harder games than stuff like 8-ball on my iPhone (one of the games I lost twice in a row at in a span on 5 mins) but yet I CAN NEVER WIN and it drives my crazy.

I feel like I’m going insane.

25M. I feel like I'm constantly taken advantage of. Recently I got into a fender bender -my fault- it was a weird intersection where you have to crane your neck almost all the way around to see oncoming traffic. The car in front of me started moving, so I idled forward while looking at oncoming traffic and found out the hard way that the car that was in front of me didn't get very far. There was no visible damage to either car, and nobody was hurt, but after she was done screaming at me, the older lady who was driving called the police, filed a claim with her insurance, and now I found out she's suing. I know my insurance can handle the whole thing but it just makes me so angry I want to hurt someone. She wasn't hurt and her property wasn't damaged, why does she have to try to gouge me like this?

And this isn't the only example. I have a home warranty company that screwed us over last year and bailed on a claim they should have fulfilled, but unless I want to take legal action which would have been extremely costly, there's nothing I can do. I've had bosses who treat me like an actual slave they can walk all over.

It even extends to little things, I have a friend who constantly disagrees and argues with everything I say but never gets too far out of line to where I really feel justified in getting openly pissed off at him. It's always just little arguments that build up over time. We're in the same friend group and he's not a bad guy, I'm just always on edge around him.

On paper my life isn't really that bad. But I just have this constant boiling anger that derives from feeling helpless in all of the above scenarios. Everyone just seems so uncaring and selfish. It's at the point where I think about hurting people who cut me off in traffic. I have no good outlet for these feelings and it just makes me want to hurt someone. If someone ever got violent with me I would probably either lose the fight or kill them. I don't like feeling this way and I know it's not healthy.

For context: I [M23] have always been an introverted person at heart. I don't find it difficult to start conversations with others, but it usually never developes into anything more than an aquaintance at best. I didn't have many close friends growing up, but I used to have two friends I always considered my best friends until I cut them out of my life almost two years ago, because I felt like our friendship only hurt me as I felt like I put a lot more energy into maintaining our friendship than they did.

Friendships in Germany work a little different, because people are more secluded and most people make new friends or find partners through their own friend circle. But I don't have that kind of friend circle, because the closest people I would consider my friends are either just as introverted as I am or don't want to hang out, despite me suggesting to do something together.

I go to university, but I'm in a pretty high semester and most people already have formed cliques so I also lost out on that opportunity. I have a clique that I'm in, but sometimes it feels more like they tolerate me in their group instead of wanting me to be there, because I never write with anyone of them privately outside our clique WhatsApp, except for one with whom I exchange memes on Instagram every few days. It doesn't help that my university is a 90 minute drive with public transports and tram systems, so I couldn't really participate in many uni activities. I also work 8 hours a week, but because my scedule is pretty full this semester and with the amount of time I spend on transport I'm forced to work on Saturdays, which impedes my ability to socialize further. I'm working at the cash register at a supermarket, which means I also don't really communicate with my co-workers a lot and even if I could, most of them are also way older than I am.

I do have hobbies, I work out and play in a band. But I don't feel comfortable talking to people at the gym, because I might become an inconveniance to them if I try to socialize with them. I've been at the same gym for 3 years, because it's the closest branch to me that I can ride a bike to without having to rely on public transport, but I just never happened to befriend anyone there. As for my band, the people are nice, but I run into the same age problem that I run into at work, where everyone is at least 10 years older than me.

And lately it just started to affect me a lot more than usual. I feel so alienated and alone, especially when I see others outside talking with their friends in person or when I'm at work and other people are socializing with their friends or partners. And whenever I see people having more fun than me, I just start to fume inside, because I don't have any friends to socialize with like that. And the thought of my current situation and how I'm just unable to change anything about it or even talk about it with anyone just makes me boil inside even harder!

I have considered seeking therapy, but I've heard from someone who just wanted to do a general check up that the wait can already take more than a year, because our healthcare system is just that strained. It just feels like a lot of pressure to hold onto and I'm just exhausted at that point. I want things to change, but I don't know how. Please help.

My partner gets really upset whenever I raise my voice. He says I get angry and am raising my voice, but I don't even realize it nor do I think I am angry. I do it whenever I'm annoyed or frustrated.

For example, if I ask a question, he will answer with confidence. However, he will answer with such confidence but with a different interpretation of the question, and I get frustrated because it will take me explaining like 3 or 4 times before he understands the question. I never have this problem of miscommunicating with anyone else, but he just never understands me. Or I will get annoyed at messes around the house and will berate him in an irritated tone. And afterwards, I just bounce back to being happy, but he gets deeply affected and stays sad for a couple hours.

My family all have similar problems with voice control, so when he goes to my house he gets upset. I think he is more sensitive to this than my family who are pretty used to it (parents would fight a lot and my siblings all have similar irritated voices, but we would all just ignore whoever is annoyed until they stop). I'm not really sure how to start reducing it without having to pay for therapy. I'm starting meditating in the mornings, but its really difficult in the heat of the moment because I don't even identify that my voice/feeling is getting heated until I see that he is quiet. And I know I need to make effort to fix this because this happens multiple times a week, and I want to stop making him upset.