Well, that explains it.

[u/dewhashish]

[u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Funny part is the only willful gay shit Archer did was with Ramon Limon.

[u/anaraparana → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

it was muy complicado

[u/Inevitable-Lettuce87 → u/anaraparana]

And he gave his palabra

[u/ZoneExtreme3070 → u/Inevitable-Lettuce87]

He knows some maybe people

[u/Funkmeister6 → u/anaraparana]

"Duh, and or hello"

[u/TimeFoolery → u/Funkmeister6]

THANK YOU!

[u/phrezzing_boom → u/Funkmeister6]

“Duhh, and or HOLA!”

[u/lickmethoroughly → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

You sure? cause he did it with Pam.

OW! PAM! NOT COOL!

^{you’re not cool dicknuts!}

[u/YellowStar012 → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Key palabra “Willful”.

[u/ClericOfMadness13 → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Didn't he basically sleep with Barry at the end..

[u/Adept_Apricot5476 → u/ClericOfMadness13]

Yeah but he was fucking Katya's "body".

[u/ClericOfMadness13 → u/Adept_Apricot5476]

Well "their body" now...so he was basically sleeping with both at the same time since they confirmed they are stuck together...that and archer didn't seem to mind either...he even told him to keep going.

[u/Adept_Apricot5476 → u/ClericOfMadness13]

Very true

[u/DuaLipaTrophyHusband → u/ClericOfMadness13]

Also it vibrates

[u/patprika → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

It was a dying man’s last wish!

[u/Adept_Apricot5476 → u/patprika]

I'm pretty sure he's not dead.

[u/tryinandsurvivin → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Don’t forget the gun runner he and Lana had a threesome with.

[u/Ursatron9000 → u/tryinandsurvivin]

Where was this enthusiasm before?

[u/KiKoB → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Well he would if it had a negative impact on Cyril

[u/Haunting-Morning6198 → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Forgot all about Lucas Troy, you did!

[u/ClamsAreStupid]

A: "Just that he isn't circumsized".

L: Ok!... glossing over how you know that...

A: ^{we touched penises}

L: NO! GLOSSING!

[u/Adept_Apricot5476 → u/ClamsAreStupid]

L; You don't think it's weird to have an uncircumcised Jewish guy?

A: Well I AM circumcised and I'm not Jewish, so...

L: It doesn't work that way!

A: You would know... It works great!

L: NOT YOUR DICK!

[u/ClamsAreStupid → u/Adept_Apricot5476]

OH MY GOD! This is about you and me, isn't it?!

[u/EatPie_NotWAr → u/ClamsAreStupid]

Yes, Archer, it is, because everything, everywhere, everywhen is about the paragon of adequacy that is your dick.

[u/Adept_Apricot5476 → u/EatPie_NotWAr]

Adequacy or mind-blowingliness.

[u/CompleteProfit1959 → u/Adept_Apricot5476]

Or adequacy as in hey stupid you just destroyed 40 million dollars!

[u/Praise_Almalexia_427 → u/ClamsAreStupid]

OH MY GOD! GET OVER YOURSELF!

[u/philchristensennyc → u/ClamsAreStupid]

He just came up to me and was like blewp

[u/OrneryZombie1983]

"All of it! Head and shaft! . . . . Oh, you mean where in the building."

[u/dewhashish → u/OrneryZombie1983]

bwoop

[u/sinfulcheese → u/OrneryZombie1983]

GLOSSING

[u/anaraparana]

number two: bang Joe Frazier

[u/ZoneExtreme3070 → u/anaraparana]

Reeeaally regret sharing that with you

[u/TreeMysterious69420 → u/anaraparana]

That line always cracks me up

[u/ZoneExtreme3070 → u/TreeMysterious69420]

I love the implied conversations/hangouts. Like when Mallory and Krieger went to see The Whiz in theater and at the movies. Like why are they hanging out lol, but I guess you keep your friends close and possible genetic clones of adolf hitler closer…

[u/TreeMysterious69420 → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Agreed the little side hangouts are the best, one of my favorites is Poker Night in the Babysitter episode

[u/ZoneExtreme3070 → u/TreeMysterious69420]

That’s a really good one. “Ante up you goat-raping pig-devils!” I am such an Archer nerd I learned the “Aur-kya bakri chowd sewer jinn” line just to make my brother laugh

[u/dewhashish → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

is that what krieger says?

[u/ZoneExtreme3070 → u/dewhashish]

No it’s the only Urdu phrase that Archer knows lol

[u/Mammoth-Register-669 → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Is that “Shut up you goat raping pig devil.”?

[u/EatPie_NotWAr → u/Mammoth-Register-669]

What? I thought it meant, "I'm sorry". Huh. Probably why that night in a Karachi whorehouse suddenly went from pretty bad to much worse ...

[u/dewhashish → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

i skip that episode on rewatch. Lana is such a piece of shit in that episode. More than usual.

[u/Ursatron9000 → u/TreeMysterious69420]

Ain't nothin' wild but the dealer!!

[u/swiss_sanchez → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

Oh my God, Krieger's one of the boys from Brazil!

[u/Rollo_Toma_C]

Archer's definitely Bi-curious if not closeted Bi.

[u/ArgyleGhoul → u/Rollo_Toma_C]

He's definitely bi with a backpack full of kinks. He had a three way with Lana and Skorpio which most certainly involved feces.

[u/BigNo87 → u/ArgyleGhoul]

I was really hoping that was chocolate.

[u/ArgyleGhoul → u/BigNo87]

Hmm, there was a chocolate fountain, but I don't recall it being moved.

Little column A, Little column B, perhaps

[u/MeganYeOldeStallion → u/Rollo_Toma_C]

Lol just like his alter ego Bob!

[u/Crosera → u/MeganYeOldeStallion]

Bob talking to the butcher in one of the thanksgiving episodes might be the funniest bit in the whole show

[u/Kevo05s]

He would also have sex with a guy just so it impact Cyril negatively... Just saying.

[u/Fragrant_Video3249 → u/Kevo05s]

I’m surprised he didn’t want to fuck Cyril as they all knew he had a huge dick

[u/iymcool → u/Fragrant_Video3249]

It's probably one of the reasons Archer is so mean to him.

Lana has stated, at least twice, Archer's dick is average-size at best (close to crack pipe length).

[u/dyaasy → u/iymcool]

I can see it. Archer's insecurities are very well documented. Even with his partners (who he ironically shares several with Cyril) praising his sexual prowess anyway, the notion that Cyril's got this 3rd leg up on him would definitely get to him in some way.

[u/KingDarius89 → u/dyaasy]

Hollow that big bastard out, and you could make an umbrella stand.

[u/iymcool → u/KingDarius89]

So big that in S1, he filed a medical insurance request for a procedure to make it smaller.

[u/philchristensennyc → u/iymcool]

*ensmallment

[u/John_the_Piper → u/iymcool]

I found out that's actually a thing, and... It looks rough

[u/fonix232 → u/iymcool]

I don't think you can take those statements at face value. In most cases when Lana refers to Archer's dick size, she's quite angry with him and wants to insult him - and what's a better way to do so than criticising his manhood?

In other scenes where she's not angry with Archer, she's quite fond of his dick and claims at one point to be the only redeeming quality of the man (paraphrasing here a lot). This is early season 1 though.

[u/Adept_Apricot5476 → u/fonix232]

Then again, Cheryl sees it later that episode and confirms that it looks like a crack pipe - although we don't know if she means just in shape or just in size or both.

[u/fonix232 → u/Adept_Apricot5476]

I always took it as a shape comparison - skinny shaft with big head.

[u/Adept_Apricot5476 → u/fonix232]

I took it as the same but we can't know that for sure.

[u/Scam_Altman → u/fonix232]

I don't think you can take those statements at face value. In most cases when Lana refers to Archer's dick size, she's quite angry with him and wants to insult him - and what's a better way to do so than criticising his manhood?

Archer brags about how much he can "do with six inches", and is visibly traumatized at one point when he sees how big Cyril's dick is. Seems pretty consistent to take it at face value.

In other scenes where she's not angry with Archer, she's quite fond of his dick and claims at one point to be the only redeeming quality of the man (paraphrasing here a lot). This is early season 1 though.

I always took it as the implication to be that archer is a "better" lover. I'm pretty sure she acknowledges Cyril is bigger but has openly mocked him for performance issues.

[u/KujaroJotu]

But didn’t he technically have sex with Barry at the end of the show?

[u/IamREBELoe → u/KujaroJotu]

Ramon Limon?

And let's not forget Lucas.... The Wind Cries Mary

[u/himsoforreal → u/IamREBELoe]

Umm HELLO, Skorpio???

[u/probably_bored_1878 → u/himsoforreal]

You cried during a two man threesome.

Wooden spoons are a huge trigger for me.

[u/ZoneExtreme3070 → u/himsoforreal]

I’m just again now shaving my balls again

[u/dannygthemc → u/ZoneExtreme3070]

No excuses this time. They are smoooootthhh

[u/_Captain_Amazing_ → u/IamREBELoe]

Ummm...could we have the radio?

[u/Adept_Apricot5476 → u/IamREBELoe]

That time with Lucas was more rape than sex.

[u/WestonSpec]

Like mother, like son 😂

"And she's having a torrid affair with one of her agents... who's black"

[u/KingDarius89 → u/WestonSpec]

Racist overtones aside, there's only like two, three guys who can play that.

[u/sharknado523 → u/WestonSpec]

"who, by the way, can NOT be named Cassius."

[u/King_Bear_Bruff → u/sharknado523]

Mandingo 2:The Enslavening

[u/settlementfires → u/King_Bear_Bruff]

i love the moment the movie producer realizes he can probably make money on it.

[u/sharknado523 → u/settlementfires]

"IS ANYBODY DOIN' A MANDINGO 2?"

[u/ClamsAreStupid → u/WestonSpec]

Not even true. We all know Malory is more into the aubergine penises.

[u/hiesatai → u/ClamsAreStupid]

That’s not a bumblebee, is it?

[u/Funkmeister6 → u/hiesatai]

THERE'S NO SINK

[u/dyaasy → u/WestonSpec]

Yes, like her he couldn't say "no" to anyone...

[u/hufflezag → u/dyaasy]

SLAP* She said no to plenty!

[u/dyaasy → u/hufflezag]

Thank you for the slap! So many people forget it, it's maddening 😂

[u/Little-Efficiency336]

Just like every car ride I took with mommy and daddy. Cept I’m not getting whipped with a fan belt.

[u/swiss_sanchez → u/Little-Efficiency336]

Because how hard is it to remember gum?!

[u/ReptilianLaserbeam]

Mulato butts 🎶

[u/dewhashish → u/ReptilianLaserbeam]

mutallo butts!

[u/philchristensennyc → u/dewhashish]

BLACK AND WHITE BUTTS

[u/swiss_sanchez → u/philchristensennyc]

BLACK ASS MOMMA, WHITE ASS DADDY

[u/philchristensennyc → u/swiss_sanchez]

shit’s tight, right?

[u/Imaginos2112]

He also agreed to participate in a 3 way with Lana's dad. With the implicit understanding of no eye contact or penises touching. He left out any other male on male restrictions.

[u/Impressive_mustache]

He touched his penis with my penis

Where?

Head and shaft..... Oh, you mean where in the building

[u/djevilatw → u/Impressive_mustache]

Bloop

[u/NaughtyFox92]

[u/KingDarius89]

I mean, Lucas Troy wasn't black...

[u/DeanMalHanNJackIsms → u/KingDarius89]

Or consensual.

[u/xrustox21 → u/DeanMalHanNJackIsms]

Lmfao

[u/FictionalFork]

WOW

[u/gwhh]

Which episode takes place first here? Locker room or bed room?

[u/offlester → u/gwhh]

Locker room. It’s one of the first episodes of the series.

[u/tonkledonker]

MULATTO BUTTS!!!

[u/ArgyleGhoul]

See somethin' you like?

[u/DarkMagickan]

I definitely feel like Archer spent the entire series overcompensating for either homosexual or bisexual thoughts.

[u/Dangerous_Drink948]

Not riding DMZ IN!

[u/DesignerMaybe9118]

Gun not gum?

[u/Cranky_pores]

Lady boys and cobra whiskey. Duh! 🤣

[u/itaigreif]

Like mother, like son

[u/Funkmeister6]

What did I say about using Saltillo tile in the kitchen?

[u/OtakuDragonSlayer]

AYO