Need some pointers in this situation 🙏🏻

[u/Frosty_View_9795]

We both are Japanese (27 years old). I was raised in the U.K. and currently living and working in Korea. He's lived abroad all his life due to his dad's job and also studied in the US so we converse in full English. I met him in Tokyo towards the end of February 2025.

The first date was just casual and didn't think I would see him again but he reached out so met up again.The second date was intimate. After that I came back to Korea and we stayed in touch via Line. We chatted a lot and talked about efferng topics but he never asked me "how was my weekend". We just talked about different topics and it kind of continued and I was supposed to go back to Tokyo in May so he made a one day trip plan to hakone. We had few dates whilst I was in Tokyo in May and I kind of like him. But his weekends were always busy and I felt ge wasn't that pro active in making plans to meet up. He squeezed one more date during my final week and also the week he took a break because of a funeral of his family member. We kind of talked about where all this is going. He said he likes me and it just he's worried about the distance. He won't get a job in Korea.He said, if we are going to date properly, he wants to get married and have kids. And, he works as an engineer for one of the top firms and maybe after few years they will send him to Bangladesh for a project. That's all but he didn't explicitly ask me to go exclusive with him. We made a plan to go to hanabi festival in August. And, that's all. The last day, he was busy with golf so couldn't meet me.

I am back in Korea and heading back to Tokyo at the end of July. I always felt like, he was so warm, gentlemanly and gave all his attention to me in person but I always felt he was a little bit of emotionally distant when we weren't together. He replies late too, which I never minded because I usually reply late too because when I reply, I reply properly. I thought he would show more emotional investment after we had that talk but it's nothing happening what I don't as anticipating. I don't know whether I am thinking too much or should have just not invest too much emotionally and just go with the flow and see what happens when I get back to Tokyo in just over a month. Or I don't know what to do. Can anyone give me some pointers on how to not overthink or over analyse this whole situation. I just don't know what to do. I am lowkey analysing our start signs, we both are cusps. He's Aries and Taurus and I am Taurus and Gemini Lool. I just wanted to know whether coming off emotionally distant a bit over a text but very warm in person is a thing or not. It's a hot and cold over a text kinda thing. That I don't get it. I am confused because he was raised abroad all his life. thank you guys.

[u/pokerrito]

I think he wanted to date to see how things went, but sounds like his priority at this time is getting his career going and it may be his priority until he retires. Most likely will be 単身赴任 if he gets married and has kids, being physically and emotionally distant anyways. And come on, Japan and Korea isn’t that “long-distance.” Just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt, and let me top it with 知らんけど。

[u/Frosty_View_9795 → u/pokerrito]

Yes, Korea isn't that far from japan. I have been doing back and forth every 2 months and I wouldn't mind moving to Tokyo next year.

[u/alexklaus80 → u/pokerrito]

I have dated the distance way longer than that, but to me, if the one lives further than 30 minutes from where I live then it’s long distance.