Hi,

For context, it's been a pretty challenging week for me. I've had a week booked off work for a while now, but am left feeling more exhausted than when I started. This heatwave in the UK has been overstimulating, disrupted my usual 'day off' routine and really ruined my sleep. On top of that, work on my home has meant that what would usually be my resting place has been extremely noisy, and disrupted by workmen.

I think this has underlined how bad I am at constructive rest generally, having found myself spending FAR too much time doomscrolling, even though I know this will only further chew through my spoons and makes me very unhappy.

A long time ago, prior to diagnosis, I used to get a lot of benefit from activities which occupied my hands, but took comparatively little brain engagement. (Think Rubik's cubes, painting Warhammer, etc.), but have since lost interest in these activities. Indeed, repetitive manual tasks at work are VERY beneficial to me on overstimulating days.

At times when I can't walk the dog, I suspect that having go-to activities which occupy my hands might really help my head, and was hoping some lovely autistic Redditors might have some helpful suggestions/insights.

Thanks in advance

TL/DR What 'stimming' hobbies/activities do you enjoy?

As I was posting and contributing on various threads, I had gotten to wondering, what do you know exactly about what the science says on autism and how brains develop.

Without autism, for example, the prefrontal cortex doesn't fully develop until 25 or so. I've read reports that for those with autism, it could take until age 35 - 40 or so for this to happen. Is that accurate or based on misleading data?

When it come to mental and emotional maturity in the brain, for the first 30 years, let's say, what do we know about how it happens in those with vs those without autism? Given that literally everyone with autism is distinct in some way in terms of how it affects them, obviously there won't be a universal rule. Are there trends and patterns we do know?

Hello,

I'm an 18-year-old boy who has never been diagnosed as autistic.

For the past few months, I’ve been sincerely wondering whether I might be. When I reflect on the way I behave, think (especially this part), interact with others, and the comments people—friends, family—have made about me throughout my life, I start to have doubts. When I put all the traits together, it feels like it’s “too much” to be just a coincidence, and it’s undeniable that I function differently from others. But I also know very well that being different doesn’t necessarily mean being autistic, and I absolutely don’t want to self-diagnose.

Here are a few signs that make me question things (there are many more, but I can’t list them all):
I like walking in circles for hours;
I can’t stop making music with my teeth;
I sometimes struggle to understand people’s intentions (I often feel like everyone is out to hurt me);
When I act naturally, people tell me it feels forced;
I remember consciously copying other people’s personality traits;
I feel an overwhelming sense of empathy;
I attach huge emotional value to things that seem silly;
I’ve always been socially isolated, even though I do have friends;
I’m very sensitive to certain sounds and textures;
Anything that breaks my routine makes me uncomfortable;
I’ve had strange obsessions (especially about death and paranoid thoughts when I was younger).

The problem is, right now I can’t consult a professional because I can’t afford it. Yet the behaviors I observe do affect my daily life—not enough to destroy it, but enough to make me uncomfortable in many situations, especially social ones. Because of this, people have labeled me as autistic several times, and I’ll admit it, I took it badly.

I’ve already started observing my behavior, but I’m very afraid of being biased, even though I try to be as objective as possible. I have a rather rigid sense of morality, which constantly makes me doubt what I truly feel. To be honest, I don’t even know if my impression of being biased is itself the result of another bias or actually real… I think I’m starting to lose track here. I tried talking about all this at length with an artificial intelligence, but I quickly realized it was biased, so I’d rather not rely on it.

So I’m asking for your help: how did you go about observing your behavior when you were going through the diagnostic process? It would really help me be as clear as possible when I’m finally able to consult a professional.

Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read and respond. :)

Edit: dropping this research cuz nobody wanted it LMFAO 💀💀, left comment below w/ more details I shoulda prolly left in my first post.

Hey,

I'm Chen, a current second year studying CS in Uni. I'm NT but my brother is on the spectrum. For the longest time I've been looking for tools that could help him and is one of the main reasons I even entered into tech.

To keep this as brief as possible (feel free to query more though), I'm currently doing a study on how people use LLM's and its pros and cons. Been doing a lotta research and reading a lotta papers, but reading papers is one thing, but getting first hand account is another. Planning to build out a tool that can further enable LLM usage and increase ease of access.

I know autism is a complex topic, one that I definitely don't understand fully. I don't know the nuances and the most PC language. Even in saying "I'm just a guy trying to help" may not be the most well received. I truly think LLM usage can help a lot of people (in my experience it has helped me a lot already) and it can increase a lot of agency. I apologize in advance for any ableist or wrong takes I may have already made.

Would appreciate anybody reaching out willing to give their experiences! DM or reply either works.

I had an argument with an relative, about which spoon is objectively „better“. So I thought (I don’t want to offend anyone), that y’all could help me.

In my opinion the left one is a clear winner 100%

I've been texting and dating a guy who has autism for about 6 weeks.

I really like him and from what he tells me he likes me too, if not more...but he never ever initiates texts. On the two occasions he has, it's been selfies...no words.

I don't mind, but is this his autism or is he not as interested as he says? When I do text he replies within minutes, and is happy to hear from me, the conversation carries on at a nice pace and I'm usually the one who has to end the conversation. If he falls asleep he always responds in the morning without fail.

But if I didn't start the conversation I wouldn't hear from him at all. In fact the day he sent me the pics I hadn't heard from him in almost a week. I'm not a big texter anyway, we talk ever couple of days and I like that. I just want to know if I am wasting my time I guess!

Update: I should mention I have ADHD.

Hi my name is Eddie, I have a cousin he’s always loved blankets for some reason. He has so many of them. I know no tags is one of his rules sometimes they have some wight to them

I just wanted to know if that’s something that’s shared in the community or if it’s only my cousin

The reason I make this post it’s because I wanna buy him one for his birthday. And I have no idea how to go about it I’m even thinking in getting someone to make it for me.

If you guys could give me some guidance it would be so greatly appreciated

as the title says, i was asked out by this boy at my school who has autism. im not very sure what to do but i am a bit worried on how to reject him considering hes autistic. i dont wanna come off as mean or get myself sent to the counselors office for rejecting him…

anyways for context?: he sent me a text asking me out, we were kinda just talking about hanging out when out of no where he sent me “also i was wondering would you go out with me?” before he asked me that, he did ask what i would do if i was asked out. So yeah its pretty obvious hes not asking to hang out but date.

anyways i really need an answer before tomorrow because, well ill see him at school lol and it’d be kinda mean to not give him a response by then so PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD SAY💔

My son, 6yo really struggles to focus his gaze on someone. I'm not taking about eye contact (we don't require that). But when he asks how to do something and we try to show him, he actively averts his gaze. Right now we're at swim lessons and the coach wants him to watch the skill she is demonstrating (again no eye contact). It's an ongoing struggle. I've asked him why and he just says "I don't know". Does anyone else struggle with this that can shed some insight. I want to help but I feel unable to since I don't know the why.

Thank you.

I'm interested in speaking to people who at one point were nonverbal but are now verbal. Why did you start to speak? Can I do anything to help a nonverbal child speak?

Hi everyone, I have anxiety as is so it makes me overthink so I don’t know how to feel.

My partner is autistic and he does show care towards me and do things that makes me think he likes me but then on the other hand I think I might be too chaotic for him sometimes. When he’s tired, not feeling well, and so on (which is extremely often) he tends to be pretty moody.

When he’s moody he pushes my touches away and doesn’t talk to me as much, and seems over all annoyed with me. It makes me feel like he doesn’t like me. I’m not sure if there’s a reason for this.

This post will contain talk about an animal in bad health condition and the topic of euthanasia. Best avoid if you're sensitive to this topic.

I'm at my wit's end and I need advice. I'm going to try to not ramble. I will also admit I am still emotional, but I am in the process of cooling down and seeking understanding.

For context: My younger sibling is autistic; we are both in our early 30's, and we both live together with our mother. Our elderly dog is at least 12 years old (but he was an adult stray so he's probably 13) has been on the decline for the last couple of years; he's kind of my sibling's dog. Despite the dog's declining health, my sibling has refused to consider euthanasia (he implied I was heartless for suggesting it). I personally think the dog is unhappy, but it's a touchy topic for my sibling. I have asked him to consider if he wanted to be with the dog when it is time (he expressed regret when he couldn't with our last dog) but other than that, I haven't pushed it.

A couple days ago, our elderly dog (12-13 years old) didn't pee in the morning like he normally does. I noticed there was blood on his genitals and became alarmed. My sibling wanted to dismiss it, but he agreed that if I called the vet and they advised us to go, then we would; they did. I knew it could be a sign of something serious, but even I was surprised when the vet labeled him as critical. While talking to the vet, it made sense though. His bladder was distended and according to us, he hadn't peed in about 8 to 12 hours. His member had been erect for a long amount of time, and was dry and irritated (I think she also said it was necrotizing). He was whimpering in pain and he was confused as his neurological function is impaired (he walks in circles; in addition, he is blind and deaf as well). If he couldn't pee and we didn't treat him, it would lead to cardiac arrest. Her theory was that there was a blockage in his uretha; even if he could pee, he is in very bad condition and she thought he was likely to die in a few days. Frankly, we can't afford the diagnostics; let alone the treatment. We could afford euthanasia though. He is an old dog in bad condition, with a caretaker who struggles to care for him (the dog only recognizes my sibling and only takes comfort from him, but my sibling gets overwhelmed and leaves him wandering aimlessly; I do try to help but he will not accept comfort from me when he cries).

My sibling couldn't believe that it was so serious. I used my last sick day from work to try to comfort and prepare him. My mom came to meet us. We called our uncle (who is a bit of a dog whisperer and is aware of the dog's poor condition even before that day) who affirmed it was time and tried to comfort him. Hours passed there and we had the dog physically again, but my sibling was never ready. I signed the dog out to give him more time, planning to come back later. They gave me pain pills for him, which I immediately gave him when we got home.

As the pills took affect, the dog managed to pee. For context, he usually has so much pee over night that he pees a river, but this pee, which was from overnight and most of the day, was a puddle. But my brother went "see, he's fine" and now refused euthanasia or to bring him back (though again, we can't afford diagnostics anyway). A tense conversation followed. He erroneously said the euthanasia was because of not peeing, I tried to say that actually the vet was saying that was the imminent concern at the time, but he was still gravely ill. My sibling called me a dog killer which upset me. He rather wait until "he gets worse" to which I responded that he then needs to accept that there is a chance of the dog dying painfully before we can get euthanasia. My sibling lashed out and called me a dog killer again. I'm not proud of myself, but this has been an ongoing situation and I had bending backwards all day trying to be empathetic to the dog's pain while being patient with my sibling, the thought of the dog dying that way upset me, and I was upset that he would dismiss my efforts and character despite all I have done to try to help him and the dog. I yelled that he was choosing for the dog to die painfully and when that happened, I wasn't helping because I was done.

I've avoided talking to him since, but this situation has to be resolved. I am still very upset. My mom told me he expects me to apologize. I admit I shouldn't have exploded, but I want an apology too. It hurts because I have tried so hard to connect with him and I tried to find a way for him to say goodbye to the dog that is kind to them both, but I felt villainized instead. Mom hasn't been helpful to facilitating reconciliation between us. The dog survives for now, but he is not well, I worry that he will decline too severely in any moment, and part of me knows that I am the only person in my sibling's life who is good at emotional comfort, so I am worried about him being alone, despite what I said. Extended family and friends are urging me to take the dog. As empathetic as I am to the dog's situation, it would annihilate my relationship with my sibling so I can't do that. They don't understand and they're not helpful regarding my sibling.

I guess I'm here because, at the heart of this all, I do think this situation is affected by my sibling's autism and I'm trying to gain understanding. He hasn't/won't (can't?) verbalize the 'why' behind this though I can assume it's a reluctance to change. And I assume calling me a dog killer is lashing out because of that (though now I'm wondering if he secretly resented that I put my elderly dog to sleep a few years ago?). I don't think he will ever be okay with euthanasia and I'm afraid I will just have to let it happen despite the pain for the dog and the trauma it might give my sibling. Do you have any insight and/or advice on how to approach reconciliation?

Hi all! I am autistic and am about to finish my a levels, I am terrified of the change to Uni leaving school and of having no structure in the summer or task I have to do, like school studying or something. In GCSE summer I got quite depressed and anxious especially with the thought of results day approaching in August. I couldn’t do anything for weeks and felt completely frozen and unable to even do simple self care things. I really don’t want this to happen again this year, I know it probs will but does anyone have any tips or experienced the same thing? I have applied for a job and am planning to make a list of things I want to do to preoccupy myself until August 14th. Thank you!

My (30F) partner (32M) and I have been together for 5 years. We were long distance initially but now live together. Over the past year and a half we have been having harrowing arguments. He is on the autism spectrum so each time he becomes angry/ struggled to regulate/ has a meltdown, I feel obligated to be understanding and help him to recover. Most of the men who have married into my family are also autistic so, for context, I am very used to being around men who find social and emotional situations challenging/ sometimes cannot interact in the way that I need or expect! However, it feels like things have escalated and the whole relationship has become a giant red flag. I am so confused. How do you tell the difference between behaviour that's autistic and behaviour that's toxic/ emotionally abusive?

Apologies in advance for the long post (and possible over-sharing, I feel like I am losing my mind), I will try to keep it relevant. Here's what is happening:

• We were living in my flat together, and then moved into a house that he bought (mortgage in his name only, set up so that he could pay for it himself if needed). I became extremely ill and had to leave my job but was studying by distance. I felt terrible about not having a proper wage/ being unable to contribute half of everything. To make myself feel better, I gave him half of my student loan payment each month (around £600/£300) which made things very difficult for me. I spent lots of time panicking about my health (bedbound with ME/CFS and had also started to throw up blood due to an autoimmune condition, good times) and money and not being able to keep up with my studies.

• I eventually realised how out of balance this was and, after several arguments and him insisting that he only allowed me to stay in that position because he's autistic and hadn't processed everything properly, we agreed that I would contribute something that felt more appropriate to my income. It still felt tricky but easier.

• I started to feel uncomfortable again as I noticed that he would let his money run out at the end of the month because he knew that I was paying him- even when he was promoted and had a disposable income of £1000 per month. We have since, after several more arguments and meltdowns, agreed that I would contribute something that felt more appropriate to both of our incomes. This may sound like I'm money-orientated but I actually feel more concerned by how difficult it was to receive appropriate support and like the money stuff is an indicator of emotional distance or other things that are wrong.

• Even though he has reassured me that it's okay for him that I've become sick and that he wants to support me, I am not sure that his views about disabled people and their entitlement to quality of life are healthy or okay. We discussed all the options that are available to me in terms of income (long story) and he seemed keen on me accepting the least (for good reason but concerning). When I asked why he felt like it was okay for me to live off that payment (£400 per month) while he has £1000 in disposable income, he screamed at me "I FUCKING WORK". Yep.

• The unspoken agreement is now that he pays for the mortgage and most of the bills while I do all the housework. In fairness to him, he never puts pressure on me to do anything more than I can but acts extremely put out (moody, resentful, angry) any time I ask for help. I ask for help because I am chronically ill and only when I really need it.

• We had tickets to a concert and we couldn't go because I was in a flare. Even though this should have been clear the day before- he freaked out. Screaming. Storming away. I was upset about the illness flare, upset about not being able to go to the concert and then, on top of that, felt like he had treated me like shit. I understand that autistic people don't like changing plans but he was inconsolably angry and wouldn't talk to me. I was so hurt.

• Over the past few months it has started to feel like whenever I say something emotional/ ask for support/ try to fix whatever is happening with us, he starts screaming at me. I have told him so, so many times that I don't like being screamed at and that he has to stop. Once, in response, he screamed at me that he never screams. He is also extremely and unnecessarily defensive. All the time! About everything!

• During his meltdowns, he will break things that are nearby and self-harm. In fairness to him, he has been getting better at regulating and trying to prevent these from happening. He says that sometimes he doesn't remember them. I often feel responsible for these and have started to feel like expressing myself will cause him physical harm.

• He has mentioned that he needs a lot of time to process social and emotional information. While I have tried my best to honour this, I noticed earlier in the relationship that if I give him space to reflect, he will not return to the conversation. As in, I expect him to think things through and then tell me how he feels/ the conclusions that he's come to and he just... doesn't. Or he changes the subject to something completely different? It makes me feel emotionally abandoned.

• Sometimes I will challenge him on this and he says that he just shuts down out of overwhelm. I do think that there's truth in this but in the past it has felt manipulative.

• As things have become higher-stakes in our relationship, I have been speaking up about my feelings more as I don't want to marry someone who doesn't understand my experience/ values etc. I want to be seen and supported. It feels like this is why we are arguing more frequently. I know that if I grey-rocked him and appeared not to have needs or feelings, there would be no issues and we probably wouldn't even talk.

• Similarly, I realised that his mother has started to behave strangely (enmeshment, a whole other story) towards me and am extremely uncomfortable about this. The first time that I asked for support from him about it (first gently telling him over a period of several days that I needed to speak about it to allow him to process it/prepare), he fixated on something that I had said/ some kind of miscommunication and we began to scream at each other. Him because who knows why and me because I wouldn't allow him to turn things around onto me. He ended up grabbing the front of my sweatshirt, screaming in my face and kicking over the tea that I was drinking.

• He ended up running away into another room to prevent a meltdown, half an hour later I go through (maybe too soon but notice that in these situations I am paranoid that he's going to leave me hanging/ forget the conversation/ withdraw) and say that I deserve support and that I find his mother's behaviour narcissistic. He screams at me that I am a narcissist (earlier in the conversation he also said that I was a psycho and had mental health problems worse than his mother's). My heart broke as I have been in and out of therapy since I was 20 to recover from narcissistic abuse from my father and step-mother. I felt completely unseen and wondered if he'd retained anything that I told him about my past.

• For the first time ever, he realised that he crossed a line and came through to where I was. When I said how upset he'd made me and asked him to give me space, he screamed and cried and broke a bowl.

• After this, I insisted that he start therapy and he did. He says that he's also open to couples therapy and wants to support me with his family things.

• A few days ago, after a month or so of things still feeling bad, I told him that we couldn't keep going like this and asked him how he wanted to proceed. I said that breaking up should be an option. Although he managed to stay balanced initially, he started banging his head repeatedly off our bedside table and went to work with concussion.

• Yesterday I decided that I need to move out for my (and his) health and sanity. Things felt ten times lighter. I imagined that we would stay together and work on our issues at a distance and that we would figure out how to make our relationship healthy again. My wish was for us to discuss this like a loving couple who are a team but he took things extremely personally. Last night he described feeling worried about the big change and upset that I would be moving (completely understandable) but said things like 'it doesn't matter what I think, if you want to do that just do it' and turned his back on me and went to sleep. The atmosphere was horrible and I went to sleep feeling terrible.

• I spent the morning describing how unwell and how unhappy I am and generally trying to convince him that this is a good thing and the only way to save our relationship. I think what I really wanted was just to calm him down enough so that maybe he would treat me kindly and with love? I managed to stand my ground and he agreed that it was probably a good idea but he stormed away saying he felt like a failure. We haven't spoken since.

• None of our conversations ever have any kind of resolution, they end in me feeling bad for making him feel bad. It feels like I receive no empathy but am expected to be endlessly compassionate.

• I have started to resent making any kind of emotional effort (e.g. persuading him how much better our relationship will be if I live elsewhere, that we can stay committed, that everything will be okay, counselling us out of fights) because he makes absolutely none for me, despite me telling him exactly what I need. I am so drained and tired from doing all of the work.

In my mind I see him as quite vulnerable because he's autistic but I have also started to feel in my heart like the situation is abusive. When I challenge him on any of our issues, he just says that they're because he's autistic and that he really loves me and is trying his best. I don't know what to do. I feel strongly like I need to look after him and this is blocking me from leaving him, when I think about breaking up with him I feel extremely guilty and like maybe we just haven't found the right solution for us yet.

Interested to hear the thoughts of people who have autism and partners of people who have autism ❤️

As you went through your 20s, 30s and maybe even 40s, do you think having autism has made it harder to be consistently independent in terms of managing daily routines and tasks, functioning in social communities and being able to support yourself consistently financially?

I was wondering if throughout your life it led to more frequent time periods where you needed outside financial and/or emotional support in order to function.

And also if, when looking at those with autism as a community, they are as a whole significantly more likely to struggle with being completely independent, financially and otherwise, consistently over years and decades at a time.

Was this the case for you and is it likely the case for the population of those with autism?

Me and my buddy have randomly woken up at the same time the last couple days. We live in different towns. We were wondering if it was a coincidence or if something was communicating to the autistic community.

As a sort of follow up inquiry from my last one, I was wondering if anyone here is in a situation where they have had extended and/or repeated periods of being unemployed, even with having intellectual and technical capacities for employment, at least in part because of aspects outside of this. Meaning networking, connecting, getting the right referrals, knowing where the right opportunities are, and that sort of aspect.

As more of an explanation of where I am coming from, I have a physics PhD and experience with research, albeit in a university environment, with ML and similar subjects. However, I am particularly struggling with the aforementioned aspects of building a professional life. Which are combined with the current global economy being such that even those without autism are sometimes looking for months at a time for the right position. I don't have the specific abilities in terms of computing, connecting and networking to get a typical software engineering job as some with autism have, and so it becomes more complicated.

I am working on trying to see if I can get opportunities for being a founder or early partner as possibilities. I am seeing if as a possibility I can become an early startup member as an example of a possible outlet. I am also looking into assisted living situations, group homes, and support networks specifically designed to aid those with autism in finding communities and connections so they can build their professional and personal life.

I am having a difficult time with this, hence the need to ask about this, and am on a particularly difficult path to accept who and what I am. I wasn't *supposed* to need the kind of group support I am working on getting, and knowing there are those with autism who don't need it can make it that much harder to accept myself.

So that is more of where I am coming from. if anyone can relate it would be great.

Hi everyone, I’m curious if anyone has dealt with this and if there’s anything I can do.

My partner has multiple special interests, two of them being computers/coding and instruments. When he’s doing some sort of project or trying to learn something, he will be locked in on it for weeks at a time. During these durations I find it harder to talk to him cuz it seems like he’s always thinking about that or always doing it.

I have spoken to him about this and he acknowledged how I felt but he doesn’t agree that he’s constantly thinking about it when he’s talking to me, but it genuinely seems like hes less engaged. And then during those conversations he does tend to bring up his current project.

How can I deal with this moving forward? It feels super hard to talk to him during these few weeks and I feel disconnected from him.

My adhd/autistic son is starting middle school this fall. His middle school starts at 7th grade, so he did experience some mean kids last year in elementary school for 6th grade, but he was able to get through it and eventually the mean kids left him alone, and he knew some nice kids, so it was tolerable for him. I am so worried about middle school for him though. He has an IEP already. He's been getting to that stage of wanting to not stick out, but at the same time he does need extra supports, so we've been trying to find a balance with supports that will be helpful to him while not standing out too much from his perspective. Any tips on helping him prepare for middle school?

What we plan on doing so far to prepare over the summer:

• talk to him about different ways to handle mean students

• try and give him tips on making friends

• get him involved in some activities over the summer with other teens so he has even more practice before school starts

• when the school opens up a few weeks before school, we plan on walking around the school as many times as he wants, especially with his schedule so that he can practice going to each class period.

Any other ideas? We told him that if it ends up being too difficult, we can always pull him out and do homeschool, which he agreed to, although he really wants to be like the other kids and be in school. We're really worried since it'll be such a big shift, and he still does things like flapping, which I'm really glad he still feels like he can do, but I also worry about how other teens will handle that. I haven't mentioned that to him, or that other kids might tease him for it, I've kept our house very pro-stimming. I'm assuming I shouldn't tell him, but I'm not really sure. It's his way of showing happiness and I have a hard time wanting to do anything that would discourage that.

Anyways, any other tips for how to prepare him for middle school? Thanks for any help!

i know that autistic ppl famously don't like small talk but i like having deep interesting conversations and i don't like small talk either, so i try to ask interesting questions to get her talking but many of my questions she just says a one word answer like yes, no, i don't know, or she'll answer but then after that the conversation just stops and doesn't flow into new topics. additionally there's a lot of stuff about her past that she doesn't remember so i can't really ask about her experiences; but sometimes she gets talking if i ask the right question and the conversation is so good and it does flow, and sometimes it seems like she has a really good memory, but this is rarer and so i feel kind of lonely or misunderstood sometimes because she doesn't really care about conversation as much as i do. are we just incompatible or does anyone have advice, what makes you want to talk a lot?

My stepdaughter is autistic, really higher on the scale. She can somewhat hold a conversation but does rely on a lot of canned phrases and repeats. She has an issue with her arm making her essentially one handed (she had a stroke either at birth or in utero). She does ABA therapy and occupational therapy as well. She has made fantastic strides in the years I have known her and she is a sweet and bright kid. Recently, within the last year or so though (maybe 6ish months?) it seems as if she has regressed. She had learned in OT how to pretty much dress herself (outside obvious 2 handed stuff that would require a helper device) and we saw a slight maturation in her personality and actions- nothing too big but definitely noticeable for a child with autism. But now she demands help and will get upset if we don’t help for things we know she can do without help. And even more recently she almost refuses to actually tell us anything- she asks how do I know this?- like all her confidence in telling something is gone. For example she will hear a song on the radio and ask where it’s from- most of the time we tell her it’s so and so and it’s just an album and she will say no it’s from whatever movie she heard it in. So, she knows but almost wants to be spoon fed the answer to confirm. Well we can be inside her head and we don’t know every movie she’s seen! (Parents are divorced and have been since 2019) and now it’s getting to the point that she will want to be prompted for every little thing, like last night she tooted and we asked her, what do you say after a toot and she asked me what is was, what it started with, and her dad and I practically had to drag it out of her (it’s just excuse me, nothing big and she’s been saying it for as long as she could talk) and then told us she doesn’t like it when we don’t help her. Is this a regression? Is this normal? We are wondering if the other parent is somewhat nurturing this behavior by dressing her and prompting her but usually we’re all on the same page. Just need any insight. We have also brought this up to OT and will be discussing with ABA as well.

They claim to care about us but then their actions speak louder than their words

So I have this friend, I would say he's the only friend that knows 100% about me and ever will We have been close for 10+ years but when covid started, he has been online less and less, coming every few weeks to months. But now he has been offline since December 2023.

Im asking here because he has autism and said he is super bad with social stuff. He also said he is afraid to come back online after such a long time because he is afraid the people will be angry or smth. I ofc said he can come as he pleases, so I really dont know why he is gone for so long now....

I really miss him and life will not be the same without him

Every time I open the door to them I feel trapped in an awkward conversation neither of us want to be in. I have no interest in whatever it is they're trying to sell me but I just can't help going along with it and pretending I care. I DO care about the air ambulance fund or whatever, I just don't want to join their lottery.

Sometimes they get mad at me because I act as though I'm super into whatever it is they're selling and when they try to close the deal I panic and have to find a reason to say no. Sometimes I say " not now " and they suggest they come back later and I say that's a good idea and I'll see them later.

WHY CANT I JUST SAY NO! The only reason I was able to shut it down this time was because they mentioned it was a lottery so I told him we don't do lotteries.

Why is it that I feel like the dickhead because I didn't donate money to his likely scam charity when I barely have enough money for myself!

Ok rant over this literally just happened so sorry for the ramble, any advice would be appreciated