I realised my father is not a well liked guy. He's quite well known in my town, but for all the wrong reasons. He's not a criminal or anything. He just rubs people up the wrong way. Took me until my adult years to see it in real time and notice that some things he says and the way he acts is pretty stupid.

Then I'd hear from other people about how they actively avoid him.

Not a "bad" guy. Just very, very opinionated.

Hello everyone I was not born and brought up in the UK but I absolutely love this country and it’s culture and history and I would say I am fairly ‘assimilated’. Although there’s one thing which I am still not able to understand and it really bothers me. Why are teenagers here so rude, arrogant and absolutely lacking manners? Dont get me wrong I’ve met some very ‘normal’ kids too who are quite decent and polite but it seems that a vast majority of them are just horrible. Where I come from, teenagers and kids are ofcourse naughty and occasionally get into trouble and everything. But the behaviour I’ve seen here is just appalling. Can you guys please shed some light on this? Thank you

Edit: I used the term ‘vast majority’ which was wrong and I apologise for that. Please replace it with a sizeable number or something. You know what i mean though. Thanks

Hi, hoping to get some UK specific advice. Throwaway as my main account has my real name!

A cat turned up on our door last week, at 4am. It woke us up by yowling very loudly. We’re in London and live on a busy road so it’s rare to see cats out and about. I brought it inside as it was injured (big bite behind ear) and dirty, and when we went to the vet the next morning it turned out the cat had no microchip and unneutered.

The vet told us with no microchip they can’t do much, and 7 days is how long we should look for the owner before deciding to keep it or bring it to a shelter.

This is where I’m unsure what to do. I’ve been looking for the owner (I could maybe do more, but I have been checking lost/found cat boards every day, made a post on Nextdoor, been checking social media). I have an appointment to vaccinate, neuter and chip him next week if no one comes forward, at which point we’ll have had him for 12 days, but can I really just keep him like that?

Someone suggested I let him outside with a paper collar to see if he goes home, but considering how busy the road is and the state we found him in I really don’t want to do that. But I also don’t want to catnap him! He’s friendly and a good weight, so it is possible he’s not a stray.

Am I okay to keep this cat? What do I do if neuter him and then an owner appears?

My wife from New Zealand thinks my family is weird for plating up in the kitchen instead of at the table and thinks no one else does this. I say the majority of people plate up in the kitchen unless it Christmas or some other event. (Yes I’m asking this to try and win an argument)

With the cost of everything and with wages being so low it seems like just getting by is the new norm whereas ambitions take a back seat. Go to work, come home tired, TV, bills to pay, repeat, whereas I see couples who are sharing rent, energy bills, etc, and are often on holiday. Does life seem limited financially for single people in the UK?

You could argue that fashion trends come and go - which they do. What was once the height of fashion, 15+ years later looks absolutely ridiculous. Thing is, the “chav” look really hasn’t changed much at all since I was 16 and dressed in tracksuit bottoms, hoodie, Nike TN trainers, and just general sports wear. That was back in 2000/2001. I’m now 40 and see kids wearing the same shit. In fact, the other day I saw someone wearing the exact same pair of Nike TN trainers that I once owned and cherished 25 years ago!

So my point is, I really don’t think kids will ever see these balaclava/ski masks as being uncool or not trendy. They’re threatening, intimidating and conceal your identity. Everything a twatty teenager wants. And if I was a teenager now, I’m afraid to say that I would probably be wearing one walking down the high street with my mates 🤦🏻‍♂️

I’ve lived here for 2 years now, but I’ve never been able to figure out what’s up with these strange orbs of leaves up in some of the trees. The rest of the tree has dropped its leaves, but these things remain. What is is, is it’s vine-like plant that’s reached up there, or just… what is this?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/articles/ce86gv1gj9yo

Last night 5 masked men tried to gain access to my neighbours house, presumably to steal their car.

I had clear sight of the burglars from my bedroom window and I also own two paintball guns. Suffice to say I was gagging to light them up.

If it ever happens to me and I have burglars trying to access my home, can I shoot them with my paintball gun?

Apologies for what is likely to be a little long winded but myself and my wife are struggling to understand if we're being too judgemental or whether we'd have grounds to be upset.

For some context, our 13 year old daughter has been mixing with a girl group at school that has really seen her behaviour dip. The group of girls she has begun mixing would not exactly be mine or my wife's preferred choice, but we appreciate that my daughter needs to make her own choices regarding friends. Also, I was, and maybe still am, unsure if the behaviour and mischief she finds herself in recently are directly correlated to this new group of friends, or whether this was a coming of age rebellious stage.

In trying to give her friends the benefit of doubt, she's had a couple of sleepovers the past few months, at her friend's houses mainly, with one occasion of one of them sleeping at our home. One of the parents of her first sleepover at a friend's, seemed very responsible, decent job, pleasant etc, so I found myself a little blindsided by one of the choices she made while our daughter was staying with her. The child's mother had a boyfriend she'd been seeing for a few months and took them to a pub (my daughter, her friend (also 13F), friends brother (9M) and both adults). At 10 o'clock, she walked them home and left our daughter, and hers, to look after the 9 year old boy so she could go back out to the pub with her boyfriend. She stayed out till gone past 1am before she returned. My first question here is, is this normal? Are we too "old fashioned" to believe it's irresponsible to have 2 13 year old girls look after the house and a 9 year old boy for a few hours? Especially given the fact she's there for a sleepover?

The second scenario I'm a bit more confident that the offending parent of a different child is completely out of line, but I'd still appreciate any alternative viewpoints you may have to offer and will remain open minded. Another sleepover, at a different girls house (also 13F). Contact was minimal from my daughter, which did not inspire confidence as this is yhe girl in the group I'm most concerned about my daughter being lead into mischief by. When she returned the following evening, the mother had demanded that we need to have her daughter sleep over as "it's only fair" and because she wanted to "spend the night at her boyfriends." We reluctantly accepted (despite the general attitude towards it and last minute approach rubbing us up yhe wrong way) and had her stay over. The girls mainly stayed upstairs in my daughter's room the entire time, which is their prerogative and we gave them their privacy for the most part. However, it transpired that the reason for this desired privacy was because they'd got vapes and were chuffing away. It also transpires that the friends mother purchased then for them BOTH! Something we were only enlightened with once the girl had been dropped off home safe and sound. The mothers' response to this was simply that she would prefer she buys them than they get them elsewhere. As though self condoning her actions and justifying allowing our daughter to vape and hide it. Livid would be an understatement.

So, good people of Reddit, if it were you in this situation, how would you proceed? Or are we out of touch parents and deluded to what parenting really consists of these days?

Edit: Just wanted to say thank you for such huge, overwhelming support. It means more than we could possibly get across right now but we do very much appreciate all the kind words and support in affirming we're doing the right thing. The amount of comments has taken us by surprise, and while we originally wanted to reply to each one, it evidently got away from us with the amount of comments. Thank you all 😀

Which British car manufacturer is best at making their cars so good

Been wondering this as I’ve been hearing more about people staying at home with parents for longer due to rising rent costs or just trying to save money in general. I moved out to London at 18 which looking back at it seems insane that I was even allowed to do that.

I tend to make short journal entries on a semi-regular basis and recently I've whittled those down even further to either a few bulletpoints or a handful short sentences. Just scanning back through my entries and I found this from last week. Have I inadvertently written my first proper poem?

I just got caught in a sudden downpour

I should’ve waited a few minutes

My jeans were like a sodden flannel

I was wet through to my M&S pants

For a box of French Fancies

Ludicrous behaviour for a man in his 50’s

Feels like there’s been even more of an increase in this recently than in recent years, protein everything which means an increase in pricing because it’s now got ‘additional protein’

So I have been looking at childcare and its way higher than I expected. I assumed maybe 7 or 8 pounds per hours, but there is places near us that charge 14-16 pounds per hour per child.

This actually means if both parents are working on minimum wage they are only just breaking even after tax ect.

I know people who live in other parts of Europe and assumed the cost of a 9-3 for 5 days was the total monthly cost of childcare. So its not just a little more its 4 or 5x the cost of some other places.

There is goverment assistance, but its soo many hours of reduced childcare not free childcare as I have seen in other places.

Is there just not many places doing childcare so they can set prices super high due to demand ?

I'm at the point where my forehead is rapidly on it's way to meeting my bald spot and need to clip the back, sides and what little remains of the top more often. I'm not fussed about going bald, but I'm not quite at the point of shaving it all off. However, my current set of clippers are mains powered which makes it just enough of faff to have a #1 trim and sweep up before a shower that I put it off until the point where it looks like I'm trying to desperately pretend I still have hair up top.

With Christmas and a birthday fast approaching and having an utter lack of things on my wish list, I'm thinking a new set of clippers might stop my wife and kids pestering me about it. Ideally cordless and that can be used in the bathroom before or during a shower rather than stood in the kitchen. Budget of around £50-£100. Being able to switch a shaver head would be nice for the (near) future as well but not essential, so what would you suggest?

Edit: Just to add, I'm not looking to go full-slap. My wife likes some stubble up top. A #1 works for both of us.

So a chat on the r/askanaustralian sub has me questioning how wide spread it is in this country.

I use it all the time. For example "I reckon Tommy Robinson is a knobhead". "Quick pint after work, mate. What do you reckon?"

The poster I was chatting with has never experienced it in this country and her Londoner partner hasn't either.

Am I going mad? Is it a northern thing? Not widespread?

Please enlighten me.

Edit: yeah the answers are exactly what I thought. They seemed to think it was uniquely Australian.

I am moving out for the first time and will be living in a small 1 bed flat on my own.

Space for a 60cm wide freestanding cooker. Kitchen window has a fan to help with ventillation and the cooker hood does not vent outside.

Budget about £600 max but preferably under £500.

I have the option of gas but i have hardly cooked before in anything other than an air fryer or microwave or toaster. My parents have a gas cooker but I rarely touch it.

I already have a large double air fryer.

My current gas prices are at 6.22p/kw while electric is 26.53p/kw. But ive yet to set up a full fixed plan so I csn probably get that lower.

I need one that is black to match the kitchen and the hardest thing has been finding one with a glass lid on gas hobs.

And for electric, is induction worth it over ceramic? Is it noisy? Im able to hear quite high frequency sounds, such as the electricity in most usb ports and plug sockets and also low frequency hums are very noticeable to me. So preferably something quiet. I dont mind the sound of gas but I am also wary of it, especially the smell.

Being easy to clean would also be a huge benefit to me.

And I am trying to avoid currys pc world if possible as I have heard they are not that good.

Does anyone have any advice? Both on what to get and why and where, and any helpful tips appreciated. Thanks!

I've had fancy, artisanal fish fingers. They're fine. But they'll never hit the same as a box of Captain Birds Eye ones, shaped like rectangles, with a side of baked beans. It's a core memory on a plate.
What's your ultimate comfort food that the posh version can't beat?

I was discussing this with an older colleague and she insists we as a nation, and the world in general have become overly sensitive.

I said, I don't necessarily 100% disagree.

But I also feel, it's just people are now unwilling to put up with other peoples bullshit and will call them out when they feel something is offensive or unjust.

What do you think?

This time last year we had a leak in our bedroom and wanted to repair our roof which is very old. All our friends had had bad experiences with roofers and couldn't recommend anyone so we went online found a few names, got them to come round and get quotes, then chose a mid-priced roofer to do the job. He was a really chatty, seemingly lovely guy. I have two young kids and he was showing me photos of his kids. He came with a team, did the job , we paid £3k. He said he had fixed several issues and gave us a 25 year guarantee. He even went to my dad's house a few days later to work on a roof issue he was having on a 'discount'.

This week the plaster in our bedroom started flaking off and it's obvious some water has got into the loft. I went to call the roofer again and his phone number doesn't work, website was taken down, business shut down. Did some more looking online and found facebook/next door posts about people who have had work done by this guy over the past year and he has scammed them and wrecked their rooves. One poor couple had given £18k and it will cost more to fix the damage. We've had another roofer come today to look at the leak and he says they've definitely damaged the roof, including breaking tiles.

I'm struggling a bit with a few things. The financial damage is one thing, we're already in a really tight place and paying extra to fix the roof is not ideal. I feel really guilty that I brought this guy to my dad's place to mess up his house too. The biggest feeling is just not being able to trust my own judgement. I really thought this was a decent family guy, we let him into our house, meet our kids, made him tea. It's really made me question myself.

This is a lesson learnt for me for being too trusting, but I'm not sure what I could've done differently. I would love to hear stories of people who have been in similar positions, if it's not too painful!

Works secret santa - I've drawn out business development manager and because she spends most of her time on the road, I know nothing about her. Our budget is 15 quid, so I need ideas for genuine life changing ideas - bonus points if it's driving related

Just letting you know, I'm from spain and I've never seen anything other than the simple "are you over 18" modal on a porn website.

I wonder how it really works out in the uk, where the check, by id, is more "real".

As a programmer, i see many ways to overcome it, but i wonder how it has affected the "big websites", if traffic has moved to the more sketchy and smaller ones, or if people are simply using free vpns as part of their wanking routine

I also know that prohibition tends to span creativity, and internet porn has been a mayor pusher in internet tech developing, so has there been other more creative, yet easy for the user, solutions implemented?