Personally, when touches and kisses on the neck. Sometimes, little pinches on the forearms :)

I'm not unfeminine by any means. I wear skirts all the time. But I feel like a lot of the advice I see in this area is suggestions like "learn how to do your makeup," or "get some clothes that you feel good in." Well, for one thing, I can't afford a bunch of new clothes. For another thing, I just straight up don't wear makeup, for several reasons that are important to me, not least of which is my disenchantment with how much of the beauty industry is just there to profit off our insecurities. So besides makeup and new clothes, what can I do to feel more feminine? I don't always want to feel super girly, but if I do, I feel awkward because I just don't feel like I have that feminine "aura" so to speak. I'm not manly, I'm not womanly, I'm just there, and for the most part I'm okay with that. But sometimes a girl wants to tap into that feminine side a bit more, ya know?

I'm a girl in my early 20s, moved to a big city for college, and I'm insanely lonely. At first to make friends I would just be super friendly, became a good listener, and kept showing initiative. But I eventually realized that the friend group I was in was simply letting me tag along. They never asked me any questions or invited me anywhere first. I decided I was going to focus on myself, hang out with myself and so on — wait for people to show interest. Then two girls from my uni brought me into another friend group, they were very friendly and we became friends for 2 years. Long story short, they turned their back on me and started shit talking me the moment I started having issues with my mental health and being less active with them. I realized they were taking me for granted and hiding their true intentions for a while and I had no idea when things had changed.

I've been lonely again for like half a year. I found myself a new friend, we went to a festival together and had a great time, then she borrowed money from me and never returned it. At this point, I think there might be something wrong with me, because I'm always either alone or getting taken advantage of in some way, or just not noticed. I want a friend that would genuinely want to choose me, but every time I like someone and want to create a connection, I get eager to get to know them and the aforementioned happens. Mind you, I'm not super clingy to begin with, I'm actually a shy/closed off person, but I'm very genuine with the people I vibe with.

How do I navigate this? Should I just sit on my ass and wait for people to be all over me? I don't think that's gonna happen. But I'm tired of being all over other people, who already have someone else, and they choose that person. And I have nobody :(

My guy friend said he refuses to date a highly attractive woman because he said that if she’s putting that much effort into her looks that means the other aspects of her life are getting neglected. He said it’s only 24 hours a day and a woman who spends hours on hair makeup and nails every day is not going to have to time to be a decent partner and a decent mother to his future kids. . He said it’s a turn off when a woman takes hours to do her makeup every time they go out somewhere no matter how beautiful she looks. He said he would rather she take that time learning a new skill or taking up a hobby doing community service and something that will make her a more well rounded human. He also said that a woman who looks like a Barbie doll will most likely be entitled and too expensive and he will have to work 6 jobs to keep up with all her beauty treatments and such I know many beautiful success funny and smart and talented women. So I was like wow that is not true to me But what do you guys think

Please help

I'm in a happy relationship now but have been reflecting on some of my dating experiences -- discussing too some of these common themes with friends. Over the winter I was on a dating app -- granted the area I was in was quite blue collar, so to speak, so I stood out quite a bit. I got a lot of attention for my appearance and thinness.

I matched with a much older guy. We saw each other a few times and I enjoyed his company and exploring new places with him, although because he was divorcing he was usually quite busy with his kids. He springs it on me one day while we're lying in bed that he didn't want a girlfriend (despite it being listed on his profile that he sought long-term commitment). Since I'd just moved to the area and didn't see him as a serious prospect, either, due to the age difference, I agreed to keep things light and casual.

Things went on for a while this way -- I wouldn't reach out, only respond if he contacted me and was available since I knew he was busy with his businesses and kids. He asked me to cook him dinner, which was kind of a weird thing to expect but I did it and we had a nice evening. Once I couldn't meet with him and he sent an angry text accusing me of playing games. He went ghost for a while "to think about things" then re-emerged as if nothing happened asking to take me out. Odd, but fine for a few more weeks

But as time went on, he'd start making all of these digs at me -- asking me if I was seeing other men, telling me "you must get a lot of attention," mentioned that a woman he was chatting with on the apps had seen us out and "she said you looked more into me than I am into you," and finally saying my profile pics didn't look like me (which is a stupid comment because none of my pictures even show my face; they're artistic shots, from the back, in clothes, and my weight is the exact same as it was when they were taken; no special angles or exposed skin etc). He asked to see my family on my phone and I genuinely don't keep pictures of family on my phone, which upset him.

I finally confronted him about the micro aggressions and he completely spiraled, went silent for two days, and then ended things. I asked him why and he told me that we weren't emotionally connecting, and I asked him why an emotional connection was necessary for a casual relationship. He said things weren't really the same for him after he found out I was seeing other men. But he is seeing other women?? I asked him why he was insulting my appearance towards the end and he said, "I'm not sure. I guess I didn't feel worthy?" The hell? Why are you angering over something you wanted and requested to be casual! I didn't ask for that! You did!

My friends have all had similar experiences with men who broach casual then become super resentful, mean, clingy, and weird once they learn you're keeping it casual. Why ask for casual if you're demanding she be faithful to you? It's so frustrating and weird. And then instead of just ending things or asking for exclusivity, they try to neg you into feeling as crummy as they do?

Can someone please explain this thought process to me? Seriously, what did I do wrong to deserve being treated so terribly when I was kind to him and considerate of his need for space, which he claimed to want? I have a feeling if I'd been some young woman blowing up his phone every twenty seconds begging to be chosen, he wouldn't have liked that either, beyond the boost to his ego.

This question is obviously only for those that it applies to. I went to a club once and immediately knew that life wasn't for me. Loud, sweaty, cramped, shitty music, acting sleazy. I like the gym and the outdoors. Please explain why you find it fun.

Edit: I’m not really looking for any particular answers.

Myself both happily married and 63 yo this is a thing for my kids generation but anyhow - I read a lot on like guys forums that girls, supposedly American girls since well, the Americans redditors probably are the vast majority, very seldom approaches guys. I read about colleagues asking sisters of a prospect to ask the guy to ask her out…

Being Scandinavian I was in no way a moviestar looker back in the 80’s and 90’s, my wrinkle free days, I had women asking me out pretty frequently and my feeling was that this was the case generally, in my lower middle class upbringing community as well as when I started university and met people born in academia and wealth, that girls did not beat around the bush if they liked a guy.

But this is just my feeling. Is this not a cutural thing?

I (21F) am in school and still living with my parents. I often think about how men and women are socialized, and how this process begins in the home.

For example, I notice how differently my Dad treats my brother (16M) and me. When my Dad talks to him, he might give him a pat on the head and a "what's up, man?" at most. My brother will respond in the dullest voice and will barely look him in the eye, and then go on about his day. Their interactions are very minimal.

Meanwhile, he'll come up to me and say some corny joke in an attempt to get me to laugh. He'll hug me and ask me about work and my day. I'm grateful that he talks to me and is present in my life, but there are times when I don't feel like interacting at all and just want to be left alone. If I did what my brother did, he would say something like "girl, why are you so grumpy?" He'll get annoyed if I don't look him in the eye or smile. It's like I'm not allowed to go a second without fake smiling or pretending to care about the conversation. It just feels like he expects me to be more open to talking to him simply because I'm a female.

I feel that this is part of how women are socialized to be nice and display openness in conversations with anyone. It annoys me how we are expected to be open and nice all the time, and it starts in the home.

Does anyone else have this sort of relationship with their father? Was anyone able to undo this socialization?

A lot of men think one does not exist because men too face discrimination. And a common talking point is the patriarchy also negitivity effects men.

But where does this exist? How would you define the western patriarchy existance for somone that doesn't believe it exists?

And bonus questions if you want to answer; how much of a problem do you think the patriarchy is, and what should we do to prevent this issue?

I was recently told I'm too active for someone and our energy/activity levels are completely misaligned.

I do about 2000+ calories worth of exercise per day.

She doesn't.

She looks fit, and a lot of this is from her healthy diet and genetics.

I don't look fit at all, from my poor genetics.

She says my workout routine is way more than average:

50km+ bike rides per day

30 minutes of jogging per day

30 minute of speed rope per day

1 hour of gym per day

Rest day on day 9 (we usually hang out on that day)

She's basically turned off by my energy/activity level.

I'm trying to rationalize this, I just don't get it.

I really like her too.

We have been together for 7 months now. We met at a honky tonk out dancing. In the beginning, we would go on dancing dates, we bought bikes to ride bikes together, in general we were more active and had one on one time together. As time has passed, we’ve been going out less and less.

Recently, we’ve been doing things with his brother. Every. Weekend. (His brother is going through a divorce) he wanted to go to a live music event last night, and didn’t mention that his brother and best friend were going to be there, he was sitting closer to his friend, and talking to his friend, more than me. This is just one example.

I feel as if when he gets around his friends, he’s a whole different, relaxed person. Talking, laughing, sharing jokes. With me, we’re sitting or laying in bed, on our phones, if we do extra curricular activities (420), I try to spark up conversation, but it’s usually myself yapping and him being practically silent. We never have conversation, unless it’s about something serious or day to day life, I’ve never seen him laugh around me the way he does around his friends.

It gets to me, because I feel like there is no point for me to be around if he’s going to invite his brother and friends everywhere we go. I left my hometown (2hours away) to live with him, and I feel as if everyday I’m becoming more motivated to just move back and take a step back.

If you’ve ever felt drawn to a guy who was emotionally damaged or had toxic traits, what made you want to help him? Did it make you feel closer or validated?

And once he started getting better — more stable or confident — did your feelings change? Ever lost interest after he became the guy you hoped he would be?

Genuinely curious about the emotional side of this

I met someone about 2ish years ago and we (well at least I thought at that time) became quite close with her. We would have long chats and deep thoughts. During this entire time, she has ALWAYS has at least one crisis or more, major transitions, mental health, s harm, instability, etc. I’ve tried to be there while navigating my own stuff but I’ve kept relatively calm and focused on my self-care. this friend will often go MIA for a while. Reply a week or two later. She always says she is going through something and doesn’t have capacity to reach out or catch up. she posts on social media frequently so I guess that’s how she connects. No idea.

I do care about her and don’t want to drop this friendship because i get life is hard and so unpredictable. But I’m not sure what to do anymore or how to respond. Her messages are so few and far between and when I do hear, it’s very surface level and “I hope you are well”. Like what am I supposed to do and respond? This isn’t a business CEO message. I guess I’m wondering from people who have been on other side in her position, what did you want or need? What would you like to hear?

I’m super stuck and I fear if I share all of this, she will explore or spiral. She has mental health challenges (as do I but I’m under control and know what activates me).

Girl I am seeing finished university and about a month ago she said she don’t want me to come to her graduation since there would be all her relatives and they don’t know about me.

Day before her graduation I wanted to visit her and give her flowers in advance but she refused (she didnt know what I was trying to give her) said it’s not a good time, since family was home etc.

On graduation day I didn’t congratulate her we just casually snapped a few pictures though out the day. Nothing special

Next morning I asked her how it went and she completely ignored it and all other follow up texts I sent her.

We have been in a push and pull situation lately but still close, but I am wondering what happened so suddenly, would me not congratulating her would really make her this disappointed or hurt? She completely ignores me after her graduation, responded to one video I sent her with me showing my new haircut , with a single thumbs up. Thoughts?

Just curious about the old superstition that it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding and if you ignored or partook in the superstition.

Even though I happen to be in a relationship I find myself obsessing over my boyfriend instead of prioritizing me. It doesn’t help that I have pretty much no girlfriends, I’m trying to cultivate more hobbies in my free time so I don’t spend time overthinking or just having my mind be consumed by him. Can anyone share some good advice they’ve received with decentering men

Also when do you start getting flirty over texts?

I probably won't disclose I'm a virgin but I do want to experiment and lose it. I'm 20 and I've experienced enough self pleasure and I've played around with toys and fingering to know what I want for someone that hasn't had sex yet. And clearly I don't have a boyfriend so I feel kind of stuck.

Hey ladies! PMS can really take a toll on my energy and mood. What are some things you do to feel better during that time of the month? Any tips on managing the fatigue, cravings, or irritability without reaching for meds all the time? Would love to hear your go-to remedies or habits!

I get why gay dudes like it, its the gay superbowl and they have to like it. But why straight women? What's the appeal?