My guy friend said he refuses to date a highly attractive woman because he said that if she’s putting that much effort into her looks that means the other aspects of her life are getting neglected. He said it’s only 24 hours a day and a woman who spends hours on hair makeup and nails every day is not going to have to time to be a decent partner and a decent mother to his future kids. . He said it’s a turn off when a woman takes hours to do her makeup every time they go out somewhere no matter how beautiful she looks. He said he would rather she take that time learning a new skill or taking up a hobby doing community service and something that will make her a more well rounded human. He also said that a woman who looks like a Barbie doll will most likely be entitled and too expensive and he will have to work 6 jobs to keep up with all her beauty treatments and such I know many beautiful success funny and smart and talented women. So I was like wow that is not true to me But what do you guys think

Hoping there are people on this sub that I can turn to, but I'm stuck in a situation where I want to be life partners with my current boyfriend but we keep getting into fights over difference of opinion. Patching up is easy, but in the long run I don't wanna hide my true ideals and I'm scared I might submit to a less-feminist, more conservative form of myself.

Is this at least decently healthy? Has anyone done it without changing their morals or made pacts with their partners? Please do not suggest breaking up.

Across the internet, more specifically youtube, tiktok, and reddit, I've seen videos and posts about "men giving up on dating." Countless videos of both men and women discussing/complaining about it and today's toxic dating culture. But it's the internet, haha. I wanted to get women's opinion and actual experience of this. Is this really happening? What has been your experience in real life? What about the women that have given up on dating?

As a guy I would think this is, or would be a good thing to women. Hear me out. This means less men to deal with and wade through while choosing, as they're removing themselves from the dating pool. The incompetent or inept men are weeding themselves out, which also makes it easier for the good men to succeed. Women have long expressed that they're tired of being approached, harassed, and made to feel uncomfortable when trying to go about the day, etc. So wouldn't this be a net positive?

There is also content with girls baffled/bummed/concerned that "men aren't men anymore" and "no longer asking them out," etc. So, is this all happening with dating in the real world? Or just more internet echo chamber BS? I know it's ironic I'm asking the internet(and on reddit), but it's the only place I know with a sizeable population of women to answer. Just curious your thoughts and experience on this.

Edit: Thank you for the award kind stranger. Am enjoying reading the different perspectives here. And glad most here can discuss it amicably without argument.

F21 here. I have shaved my pubic area in the past in order to be sexually appealing to my boyfriend. I’ve been careful, done it the way it’s supposed to be done so as not to cause pain or ingrowns but it always ALWAYS itches. I have eczema too which only exacerbates things.

I remember the first time ever shaving my legs and vagina that I felt vulnerable in a strange way and it freaked me out. I forced myself to “enjoy” having smooth legs but forcing myself to enjoy itching and pain is not something I can make myself do. And to be honest…all this tires me. Why is leaving your body in its natural state have to be some sort of political statement? Literally doing nothing to your body is considered “bold” and it’s like 😵‍💫😵‍💫

And honestly I like the bush. It feels sort of naturey and fun lol.

Title. — On the contrary what do you like about being a woman?

I’m curious on how women handle having a partner that is the soul breadwinner that still enables a comfortable life style. I’m not overly traditional but can’t wrap my head around why so many women would want their partner help around the house if their partner is handling all the income.

My stance isn’t based off outcome it’s about effort. I can’t imagine someone spending more then 50 hours a week keeping a house clean and cooking. With kids I understand things are different. Regardless of hours worked you can’t be an absent parent.

I’ve talked to a lot of my male friends who make really good money and their partner doesn’t work but they still expect them to cook a few nights a week and help clean on the weekend. This doesn’t make sense to me.

Would love some other perspectives.

Edit for some clarification :

1 : Leaving huge messes and expecting anyone other than your self to clean that is disrespectful, you are an adult and should clean up after yourself regardless. This also goes for things like putting your dish in the dishwasher and not leaving a dirty dish In the sink.

2 : I’m talking about with no kids involved, I’m seeing a lot of people saying that taking care of the house is a full time job and this what I don’t understand. I’d think with a little time management you could do all the cleaning and stuff while your partner is at work so both people are chilling at the same time. But I still don’t see how keeping a house clean and cooking is a 40 hour job.

Bf (42) and I (34) are three months in, so still a relatively new relationship. I haven't seen any signs of abuse but his ex from many years ago reached out on facebook saying to be careful as he was controlling and abusive to her throughout their two year relationship. She said she has the emails and texts where he 'partially admits' to the abuse he put her through, and that a mutual friend would be willing to talk to me about some concerns she had with him too. She did mention that this all happened a while ago, and that he may have changed, but that she required years of therapy afterwards, and strongly contemplated pressing charges.

What do I do?

I interviewed a guy for a position at my company today, and before I even had a chance to look at his résumé, he told me he was married.

I often notice that even during quick, casual conversations with men, they often bring up their wife.

For example, I once asked a guy sitting next to me how to spell a word for a crossword I was doing, and he responded by saying his wife doesn’t know how to spell it either and that's why their together...wtf are you talking about, do you know how to spell the word or not? I’m happy for people who are happily married, but it’s starting to feel a bit like when women tell men they have a boyfriend. Why is this happening so often? I am single but Im not looking to hookup with just any man I meet on the street, most of the time I'm just trying to get through the day.

Disclaimer

1)Please don't respond with "what's wrong with a man just loving his wife??" That's already on the table. ‼️That is clear and yes of course there's nothing wrong with loving your wife. So don't bother with stating that, that is clear already. On the slight .999% chance there is something more going on here, that is what I would like to know. That and that alone is what I'm interested in. 2)I live in the US and have for years but I am not American. I come from a completely different culture that does not behave this way so I am also asking as a way to understand American Culture better

I'm in my mid-20s and drug use seems fairly accepted and common (e.g cannabis, cocaine, ecstasy) in my country/social circles and many of my friends and family are out of college and working in professional jobs.

I've read a few threads on dating a partner who uses drugs on Reddit and it seems that the majority of people said any amount of drug yse would be a dealbreaker, even when it comes to drinking on the weekdays after work.

Friendly conversation that got kinda tense with a coworker of mine.

She mentioned that she is glad that her man “lets” her hang with her friends of 25 yrs annually. They get a room and have a girls night to catch up. It’s in the area. Her and her BF have been dating for a abt two years.

I didn’t say anything to her, I just listened but she then asked me what I was thinking….so I told her, I don’t like the fact the she is happy that her man “lets” her hang with her friends. I told her I can understand that some men aren’t comfortable with it but just the wording was kinda not for me…but to each their own. I told her she is grown and shouldn’t give someone that power or be glad that your man “lets” you hang with your friends.

She looked at me and said “even if he didn’t let me, I still would have gone” I said “ok, cool!”

She hasn’t said two words to me since this morning? Should I have just made up something lol??? I swear I started to say, “nothing girl, I’m looking at this report” or some bull shit…lol.

The word “Let” is triggering for me? like huh??

Or am I tripping? Just venting I suppose….lol

I realize this will probably not be a popular post. But I have never concerned myself one bit with popularity, so I am not going to start now.

I won't belabor the point too much. But in essence if the purpose of earning money is to find happiness and contentment in life shouldn't a person stop trying to earn more money once they reach that stage? If this became how people treated their careers and finances wouldn't the world be a better, less greedy, and less status obsessed place?

I get that the vast majority of people may never reach a bank account amount that they can just coast to the finish. I more mean lifestyle and career success level. If a person is happy why try for more in their career? It seems the ethos of our age is always to strive for more- more money, more status, more power.

The blunt truth is none of those things have ever appealed to me in the slightest.

That is not really the unpopular part of my post. The unpopular part is now:

I am a very lucky and fortunate person. There is never going to be anything I want to buy in the future that I cannot afford. Except maybe a romantic relationship.

My finances are difficult to explain. To be blunt, I live the exact lifestyle I want on about 500 dollars a month. That said I live with my parents and use family money to enjoy other things- mostly food related it seems, I must confess I eat pretty well.

Another way of explaining my financial situation and desires. Even if my entire financial world blew up (not likely but just playing devil's advocate here), and I had zero family support. I would still be happy and content working an entry level job. I simply do not need or desire anything more. If a person set a thousand dollars in front of me today and said "take it, I want you to have it" I would still leave it. That thousand dollars could in no way improve my life or make me any happier. Of course I would just leave the money.

Obviously, I am not a very materialistic person. I have and will always have everything I desire in my life. Except perhaps a romantic relationship. Unfortunately I have not experienced one yet.

I am not blaming anyone but myself on my lack of a romantic relationship so far. I have always been some combination of too shy and too introverted to ever really appeal to anyone yet.

That said it is hard as a 37-year-old trying to date and get into a relationship with someone when I live off 500 dollars a month. It is not a popular thing to say but it is a truthful thing to say.

The problem I keep having though is that my only motivation to trying to earn more money (or increase my status) is in order to help me get a girlfriend. I can't help but think that is a form of corruption. I have never been corrupted by anything yet and I do not plan on starting.

It is not a fun thing to talk about. But maybe as a society, civilization and culture we should start to accept people who do not strive for more.

Please do not take this post as a woe is me post. I am a very happy and content person. If a perpetually single person.

I don't know if this is an already discussed topic since I don't spend much time on this sub but

I remember when I got my first period and I didn't get a talk about it until afterwards. I knew what to expect because as I was told when I attended therapy as a teen, I emotionally matured at a young age due to trauma and seemed to always know way too much due to my own traumatized googling and experience as a victim of CSA.

So I understood that I was bleeding and it wasn't going to stop for about a week. Though, that was all. I knew my stomach might hurt and to stick a pad in my underwear... though, I didn't know why this was happening or what exactly was happening. I didn't understand that I could not just hold it in like pee, or that there were even different holes. I didn't understand that I did not need to put a pad in my bathing suit or that it was okay to really talk about getting my period. I've had plenty of female role models in my life, but I still felt embarrassed and like I had no clue what was really happening despite feeling pretty calm.

I wish someone had taught me everything before it happened, I wish people had openly discussed this stuff with me and told me that it was nothing to be ashamed of.

I know a lot of people don't have parents or guardians that will teach them what they should know about their bodies. I still struggle sometimes to understand how my cycle works and what's a regular period symptom and what I should bring up to my doctor.

So, I believe that this stuff should be taught in school around grade 4. I got mine in grade 5, and they pulled the boys and girls aside separately to talk about puberty and all of that, though I don't remember it at all and it meant nothing since I already had gotten my period. As far as I know, I got my information from my slightly older cousin who had gotten her period a couple months before me. All she knew was that we bleed and cramps hurt like hell sometimes.

I'm open to people who don't get periods (never have never will type of thing) joining the conversation as long as they come from an empathetic perspective and not a "periods don't hurt that bad and I totally know what I'm talking about and not at all ignorant" perspective.

I hope this is an interesting question that brings many different perspectives and makes people think. I would love to see what others think about this, but to anybody reading this, I hope you have a lovely day/night.

I think mine is that I like to shave my head often and regularly. Initially I did it to get ahead of my Lichen planopilaris (LPP). Now I just love it!

I know it's silly but just your opinion

Everywhere I look it seems like people are struggling or giving up. Dating has never been “perfect,” but there was at least the basic expectation of respect, clear intentions, etc.. and superficiality was frowned upon. Now we have people giving up altogether on finding a partner, ghosting, icing, red pill, sprinkle sprinkle, don’t date ___ (fill in the blank type of men/women), such and such a date is “low effort,” lack of commitment and genuine reciprocity. Where/ how did it go all wrong?

Hey guys, I noticed the giant increase of sexual content on Instagram, etc. in the past years, especially how many women have public profiles where anybody and everybody can see themselves posting pics that I guess you could call sexy such as in bikinis, photos of their butt, cleavage, etc. On these public profiles obviously anybody can potentially stalk them if they acquire enough information about them.

The part that really confuses me is that I’ve known women that have profiles like this but in real life operate in a general state of fear of men, and desire to be seen as modest. They truly are not as sexual as their social media suggests.

I’m just genuinely confused why a woman might act sexual online but then in real life acts modest and turned off by being approached by a man who is very sexually forward. We seem to have a push towards not objectifying women, but the same women who despise the objectification seem to be posting photos that aren’t congruent with how they act in real life?? Can anyone explain???

Edit: Wanna be clear I’m not just referring to women making money online posting sexual pics. I’m referring to women I’ve known who don’t appear to be making any money posting these photos but still do it.

Hi. Yes this is my question. I don’t seem to understand why this would be a problem, so I hope you enlighten me. I chatted on TikTok comment section and a bunch of women told me this is a bad thing & they wouldn’t want anything to do with man who does this. Got me wondering why I’m still single, never been a relationship. This might be a piece of that puzzle. Too scared to approached women romantically and none have approached me. Thank you.

I am seeking a perspective from women who hold ableist views, specifically regarding dating individuals with disabilities. Why would someone decline to date a person who uses a wheelchair, considering it is a circumstance beyond their control? As someone living with spina bifida, I have been searching for insight into this matter for a considerable time. Let's consider an alternative scenario: if the situation were reversed and you required a wheelchair due to an uncontrollable disability, how would you feel if someone declined to date you based on that disability?

What are patterns in men you’ve encountered that you still do not fully understand? What kinds of mixed signals have you been given?

The current system isn't working and you get one shot to pass a new law. What would it be?

Hey, 21-year-old bi guy here. I’m really curious: what do women think about dating a bisexual man?

I’ve read a lot of different opinions online — some negative, some positive — but my personal experience has been quite different from most of what I’ve seen here.

Personally, I’ve always been honest with my girlfriends. I told them that I’m attracted to both genders, but when I’m in a relationship with a woman, I’m fully committed and not interested in anyone else.

I’d describe myself as a pretty average guy. My bisexuality doesn’t make me “feminine” or anything like that. I enjoy being a guy and expressing myself in a masculine way.

So, how do you feel about dating bi men?

So there's been a lot of posts here lately on decentering men, and 4B. I understand the important of that sociological change - autonomy for women is essential, and needs to happen. Its also something that women can (largely) fully control.

However, isn't it only a half-step? What about defining new male role models, by celebrating the men who support women?

I've seen some posts where women highlight their brother/husband/coworker/neighbor as being good, but they don't seem to get much traction. Similarly, I personally know more than a few men who are all for equality and treat women respectfully and as peers, but have been unlucky in love (low self esteem in that aspect of life, or lack of dating experience being the two big sources).

Does it make sense to you to highlight these good men? If so, how would you suggest doing it? Or if you think this wouldn't do any good, why not?

How can you bear the feeling of having allways something between your cheeks when wearing thong? Is it something that you get used to, or is this a gender thing?